I always ask friends to remove shoes as my last two wooden floors were destroyed by heels during parties. So it is not really just about keeping carpets clean but the aftermath of those little high numbers. I did buy lots of pairs of IKEA slippers and keep these by the doors for guests. I love having friends roung and don't mind the clearing up but somethings just won't shift!

Are there really this many people that haven’t encountered shoes off as an everyday common practice? It’s every day life. How is it possible that there are soooo many people this clueless about common curtsey?

You’re joking right? This is a bunch of off site lurkers trying to force an argument and drive up hits for apartment therapy, right. Shoes off is so every day, its remarkable there are this many people that aren’t used to it. Shoes off is the default everywhere I go in the SF, Oakland, SJ, Berkeley, etc. Small parties and big parties included. It’s really NOT a big deal.

Sure, if you have a serious foot or health condition, then wear your shoes. BTW I’ve never seen anyone confronted about wearing their shoes, but once they come inside and see EVERYBODY else isn’t, they normally go back to the porch/entry/front door and remove their shoes. Mind you, I’m not talking about at my house, it’s everywhere, and I go out enough to be referring to more than just a dozen situations. It’s all the time. This is really mind-blowing that so many people are so upset about taking off their shoes that they’re actually trying to defend wearing shoes at someone’s house party!

Even indoor/outdoor parties are mostly shoes off. There are normally plenty of flip-flops around and a lot of people are used to bringing their own. This isn’t the Cold North, or Canada, or the Bowery, its North Beach, Jack London, Marin, Palo Alto, Richmond Dist, Santana Row, Haight, Berkeley Hills etc. Not a single cookie cutter suburban home with wall to wall beige carpets. Still, it’s no shoes and no big deal. No temper tantrums, no missing Manolos, no big deal. Sweaty feet? Wipe ‘em off in the bathroom. Hole in your socks? Ask the host for a pair or grab one of the extra pair of slippers. It’s really not that difficult.

If you don’t have a medical condition, what’s the problem? Is your personal self image THAT tied to wearing shoes? What parties and what people do you hang out with where having ugly socks or being short is grounds to be dismissed and/or ignored at a party?

Glass on the floor? Come’on. Things get broken at parties ALL THE TIME. Everyone freezes and it gets cleaned up. NO BIG DEAL. Infants play on carpets, toddlers run on the hardwood, nobody gets sick from foot lice, or contracts athlete’s foot, or dies from foot odor. Got any more wild excuses?

Look, if you’re that hung up, leave your shoes on. You’re still welcome to hang out. After a while you’ll get over yourself and join everyone else in relaxing and end up removing your shoes anyway. Until then, just know, nobody is as hung up as you over fashionable shoes, your ugly feet, your holey socks, your sweaty pads, your hairy toes, your corns, your thin ankles or whatever it is you’re so self conscious about. If your “condition” was that bad to begin with, you wouldn’t be going out in the first place.

Here’s one last word of support. Recycling took a small learning curve. Now you’re used to it. Organic food was once, Huh? Now it’s becoming every day. You’ve learned how to use email and surf the web. You’ll be able to master removing your shoes at parties and eventually it will be so common place, you’ll be as amazed you ever gave it a second thought. Be pissed all you want, but it’s not that big a deal. Really.

What more can be added that hasn't been said in 200 posts over almost two years? Just this:

The obligation of a good host is to be hospitable. Hospitality involves making people feel at home. This forum clearly demonstrates that, for some, feeling at home entails being shoeless; for others, it entails wearing shoes. If you can't graciously accommodate BOTH those wearing shoes AND those who are shoeless, your capacity as a host may well be impaired. (And don't judge preference based on those who haven't complained about your restriction; well-mannered guests won't voice their discontent.)

Sure, you have every right to enforce the rules of your house. You can demand that guests not sit on your furniture. You can choose to only serve them Kool Aid (ugh!). But any such restrictions will necessarily increase the likelihood that your guests will not feel at home...and that degrades your performance as a host.

Good hosts endeavor to anticipate and accommodate the wants and needs of their guests. If your home cannot allow that because it has fragile flooring or because your children regularly lick the carpeting or because you're allergic to ubiquitous chemicals, you should either eschew the role of host, select a restaurant venue or accept that some guests will justifiably view you as inhospitable. And if it's the latter, you need to recognize that it's YOUR failure, not that of your guests.

I've learned much from reading these posts. As with most of my fellow Californians, I only take my shoes off when I go OUTSIDE. I've felt insulted by those who have visited my home and removed their shoes, feeling that they showed inappropriate familiarity. But now I'll try to be more tolerant. I hope those on the shoeless side have gained some similar insights.

I am a part of a community where asking visitors to take their shoes off at the door is more related to having one's home as their sanctuary. In that vein, having everyone take their shoes off at the door is a request for some that is made mainly for spiritual reasons. Generally the purpose is to keep outside energy outside instead of dragging it into a person's home. In return it is up to the homeowner to make sure their residence is clean enough for people to feel comfortable walking around your home w/o their shoes.