Good Questions: When Should I Tell?

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Hello AT,

My boyfriend and I have decided to get a place in the city together - when my lease is up in July. My current roommate is a good friend of mine, and we love our apartment in the East Village - the living situation is wonderful, it is spacious, rent-controlled, etc - and I know she will be hurt it is coming to an end.

As a friend, since I already know this is happening - should I tell her sooner (as in over the next few weeks) or later that I am moving out. I feel a little nervous about this, because she has been very unhappy lately about being single.

Thanks, M. (Pic: Moving Out, Moving On)

(Note: Include a pic of your problem and your question gets posted first.)
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Dear M.,


Since you are not moving your roommate out to move your boyfriend in, you aren't being a villian. It may be hard, but your roommate can stay in the apartment, find another roommate and even choose the best room, which is important for stablility. For all of this to go smoothly, however, we would say tell her/him sooner rather than later. You'd be a better friend if you do.

Anyone else??

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Maxwell left teaching in 2001 to start Apartment Therapy as a design business helping people to make their homes more beautiful, organized AND healthy. The website started up in 2004 with the help of his brother, Oliver.