i think a big help would be to get rid of the pack & play, which as it is stuffed to the brim with toys and such, i have a feeling you're using it more for storage than as intended. i would 'pack' it away and put it out of sight when not in use as intended, and then i would get some more appropriate and age-neutral storage furniture for that.

one thing that might be great in terms of attractive storage which is also accessible is a trunk style coffee table. i've seen a few different models at Crate & Barrel, Pottery Barn, et al (not sure what your price range is). the Ikea storage systems which offer a doored shelf option would be a good solution as well, as would shelving that can accommodate baskets and bins where you can stash all the little odds and ends kids seem to acquire (just wait till the Barbie/GI Joe era begins...). there's no reason you have to go baby nursery cutsie with toy storage, as long as what you choose is accessible to the kid (low to the ground, easy open, etc).

i think just replacing the pack & play with a more permanent and attractive storage option will be a huge start.

re storage: We provided tidy and inconspicuous storage for many of my son's toys in an apothecary chest. Though he is headed for college in a few weeks, the labels on the drawer pulls still read music/cars/science/paint/dress-up/cards and others I can't recall at work. (I'm embarassed to admit some still contain those things too!) The most famous of all was his self-titled "useful box" a single drawer with glue and paste and glitter and crayons and markers. I'm packing him a surprise "useful box" for his dorm room.

I'm not a parent yet, but hope to be one some day so I have to ask - does one child need so many toys as to fill up a playpen and other containers? I really think the amount of playthings you keep is overkill. I say clean up the baby's clutter with large baskets that you can find at the Container Store. These baskets then should be neatly arranged on shelves. Easily accessible shelves/baskets contain the toys that she uses daily, the less used stuff (and this probably is the majority) goes on the top shelves/baskets. Perhaps some of the stuff can be donated to Goodwill.

more often toys end up being given as gifts , where the parent has few choices - keep it, lend it, donate it. More often than not, parents feel that the toy would be enjoyed by the kid and keeps it any way. The pile of toys goes higher on every visit of grandparents, uncles, aunts or birthday or holiday gifts.

The Questions is - How politely can you say NO to the gifts ? or How tactily can you accept a gift card or Can you put out there loud and clear - "NO gifts at all. I appreciate your time and company with us . Thank You. No gifts please

we just had my son's 1st bday party and wrote "no gifts, please" at the bottom of the invitation. one guest still brought something and, of course, the grandparents HAVE to buy something. We have our son's toys in baskets/bins that fit in a room divider/shelving unit from IKEA. At this age, half of the fun the baby gets from toys is from pulling everything out of the bins.

You can't say no to gifts without risking the relative's feelings. Some people spend a lot of time searching for a gift they feel the child would enjoy (even if you hate it and your kid is unimpressed). These people will (understandably) be deeply hurt if you refuse a gift they have spent time and money on.

I also think, "no gifts, please," while well-intentioned, comes off as too curt. Also, it's fairly useless (people bring them anyway).

Here's what I do:

Unrelated to the exchange of any gifts, I bemoan our small apartment and its lack of storage and how difficult it is to maintain at least a couple of rooms where adults can enjoy themselves without feeling like they're in a daycare. Since all our relatives live in places far bigger than ours, and are occasionally appalled that we are undertaking child-rearing in such a small space, this seems to be effective. (If you live in a large house, obviously this won't work.)

It's not perfect. The excess from out-of-town relatives quietly makes its way to give-away boxes.

Relatives that live in town are a little harder, but you can put some things "in storage," which can be as literally truthful as you like.

In town relatives are also a little easier to direct. "Graciela's birthday is coming up soon. We thought we'd have cake and balloons. You know, she's got so many stuffed animals. We were thinking that expanding her book collection would be great." Which, if you're lucky, leads to a good talk on favourite childhood books, and the kinds of presents you were looking for.

And back to the original question - agreed that the pack-n-play should be packed.

And a grown-up sofa (or sofabed) should move to the tops of your purchase list. Having only replaced my futon recently myself, I can vouch for the enormous difference it makes.

Could you make a kid-friendly corner in each room? I have a chalkboard wall in my livingroom, and visiting kids always gravitate to it. They hang out and draw while the parents and I get the opportunity to kick back and relax on the couch.

Definitely swap the pack and play for something better looking. PB Kids has some decent storage options. They might be a place to start looking for ideas.

On toys and crap, some people take it the wrong way when you tell them your kid doesn't need any more gifts. Hey, I know my nieces and nephews have enough junk, but that doesn't keep me from buying them the occaisional trinket. Luckily toys are a great thing to donate. Where I live, you can donate toys in good shape to kids in the foster care system. There are also children's hospitals and refugee organizations that could always use more toys to give out.

Rebecca - I feel your pain. We have a two year old who has oodles of toys, and most of them live in our main living space as well. We rotate the toys - some are kept in basement storage while some are stored and played-with in the living room. Every few weeks I rotate some - this keeps it interesting for him, and a bit neater for us.

We don't use any cutesy toy storage, except in his room. Instead I use inexpensive-but-sturdy baskets from Target (one for cars, one for play food, etc) and floating shelves, and some bigger stuff gets hidden in the 2 1/2' wide area behind the sofa. His many books are stored on a low bookcase. All these strategies keep the toy clutter to a minimum, and prevent our living room from looking like a Fisher-Price showroom.

I second the paint suggestion, that will make the rooms feel warmer and more inviting. And if you're looking for new furniture, definitely go with ultrasuede upholstery or washable slipcovers for a sofa, and definitely tables with storage (I agree with the opoponax's comment above).

We're in the same position - we need new sofas, but aren't sure if we should just live with our less-than-stylish slipcovers for a few more years or invest in some new furniture with kid-friendly fabric. Depends on your budget I guess.

You might de-clutter by throwing out some of the toys. Does she play with all of them, or really like just a few? Kids go through toys fast...

Also, your space will seem less cluttered if you avoid putting furniture under the window. Being able to walk up to and look out a window makes the room seem bigger.

We also have a two-year-old and sad, left-over furniture from our interminable grad school days! We're working on the furniture and trying to control the toys.

We rotate toys through in batches. We put a large portion on sabbatical in our attic, and keep a smaller group out to play. When those start to lose their appeal, we put them away and bring out another group. In the family room, store some in a rack of bins that I found in the kids section of Target. They keep the toys all visible and accessible, yet contained.

We also confine the toys to two rooms -- the family room and the kid's room. The toys certainly wander to other rooms, but they go back every night.

Furniture is a tough one. We bought a great, nicely scaled couch and two accent chairs from Room and Board. Leather's the most durable, but also pricey. The Jasper couch at Room and Board now comes in leather, but we felt we could only spring for the "drama" fabric in charcoal (which we love). A less expensive, smallish leather couch can be found at World Market (I think it's called the bruno.) World market also has a very very cheap couch with a washable slipcover (the Zara). I saw it online and then checked it out in the store and found it comfy. World Market also has some fairly inexpensive but pretty dining tables. I like the Ajara.

We found shapely, modern end tables at West Elm. They're round, so no sharp corners for the kid to bump into.

I'd warm the rooms up with Benjamin Moore's Shaker Beige, or make one of them an inviting green, like Benjamin Moore's Sherwood Green.

Good luck, and enjoy!

An old parenting trick (from an old parent) is to always keep half the toys in hidden storage - and rotate the toys so that "new" stuff appears regularly and entertains the kid for awhile. Just keep cycling through the toys - that way you have fewer and a more controllable amount available.

Aslo - for those who are uninitiated parents - toys just appear by themselves. Really. I never bought my kids toys because - well -toys just reproduced themselves in the night or something...never did get to the bottom of it.

Ducduc makes some of the nicest, most contemporary children's stuff I've seen. We have three boys who are all getting a ducduc makeover in the near future. Neither my wife nor I are big proponents of the usual "kiddie" furniture.

The rotating toys idea is a very good one. What do to about the furniture is harder to solve. Kids are messy, often getting food and dirt on anything they come close to. Buying anything you don't expect to be ruined is going to lead to disappointment. Kids that young are the focus of your life -- and it reflects in the space you live in. I don't think you can have it both ways.

is anyone a proponent of the "usual 'kiddie' furniture"? I had a discussion with a designer friend of mine without kids about this recently. Its nice if money is no concern to have design as a first priority, but once kids are part of the picture, then reality sets in. Of course, we'd love to have a duc duc suite, but we'd also like to put money away in the kid's college fund. I'm not sure that its a fair assumption that just because the kids' furniture is not high end, doesn't mean that high end is not appreciated.

Learning from my brother and sister-in-law after living with them, my sis-in-law was VERY adamant about maintaining an ADULT HOME. Endulging their children's whims would have been deadly, as she understood that it was SHE who ruled the roost, not the kids. Toys are for their rooms. Plain and simple. You will be more respected for it by your child in the longrun.

That being said, I think if you take back your life, your decor dilemas will soon disappear, and you can go back to choosing exactly what you want.

Didn't mean to sound like a snoot about the ducduc. We got married in college and had kids right away, and everything we had was second or third hand. If you look around, the high style stuff doesn't wind up being much more than well-constructed "traditional" kids furniture. My wife was skeptical until we started doing research.

P.S. There's no one more college fund conscience than me. 3 boys, one person working, etc.

Just to give another perspective, living in an apartment in the city, I just did not feel like it was realistic to limit our son's playthings to his room -- it's tiny and taken up with his crib, changing table and glider. Since my son is home all day with a nanny, as opposed to in a daycare, I decided that the living room was "his." It has our sofa, chair and bookcase in it, and one corner is given over to a desk with our computer on it, but other than that it "looks like a daycare" as my father-in-law put it. This doesn't bother me, as it was my goal. (Well, that it look like an attractive, well-organized daycare.) We have a slide from Community Playthings, a child's table and matching stools from Offi, a child's armchair from Pottery Barn Kids, a child's bookshelf from One Step Ahead, and toys galore, most of which are organized on a set of shelves that sits under our TV and in open baskets that are easy for a 20-month old to access. I feel that my efforts were well worth it. My son really uses and enjoys the space and all of his friends want to come over to our house to play.

We had a very similar set of circumstances. If it's any help, here's how we handled it.

The grad school furniture. A few years back we replaced our Ikea bookshelves with... more Ikea bookshelves, but at least they were different. More style and less a reminder of the days when we just needed somewhere, anywhere, to stuff books. If a budget is a concern, we found a great family run furniture store that allowed financing with no interest if everything was paid off on time. It was a way we could slowly rotate out furniture that had seen its day and integrate pieces that we really loved. When we'd pay off one round of purchasing, we'd pick out another and so on. As for toughness, depends on the design you're looking for; but for us leather upholstry and a distressed farm table in the dining room have each seen their fair share of mishaps yet the scuffs look like the usual and desirable seasoning of the pieces.

We too have had great luck with toy rotation (our daughter's are stored in a box under our bed). New we do periodic casual evaluations of what can be donated, thrown out and kept. A great help for us was Jen's suggestion of a toy spot in each room. We keep this managable by using storage cantainers of limited size (a woven laundry sized basket in the living room, a small basket of art supplies and one of small toys and books in the sunroom, and two sturdy baskets on lower bookshelves in the dining room). It's the baskets on lower shelves idea that I can see us continuing to use as she gets older. Allows us to keep the adult furniture without relegating her things to only one room in the house (never liked the playroom model). She knows what toys are in what part of the apt, and can head there on her own when she's in a particular mood. "Trains" was one of her first words because she used to need our help getting that basket out of the bookcase. Also, smaller containers makes keeping the place cleaned up, or straightening up fairly quickly, much easier than when we had all her toys -- those she used and those she didn't -- in one place. I can't say we always refill the baskets when we leave a room, but that's what we aim for, and it's what we hope she'll grow up doing too.

On the oft mentioned pack and play, I'd made packing it up a part of our AT Cure a couple of months ago. More and more we were using it to store overflow toys and could see it becoming a permanent part of the LR. It went to the back of a closet, the overflow went to the box under the bed and to my brother's new baby, and we use a gate whenever we needed to keep her in one pt of the apartment.

For baskets: we found Target and World Market to have a decent range of sturdy ones (intended to be file holders). Also, craft stores often have loads of baskets and boxes that can be painted to suit your the design choices you make for the room.

For shelves: oh sweet Ikea... http://tinyurl.com/jvkob can be painted and works well in a group. Definitely needs anchoring to the wall though, even without children around.

You can get rid of some of the toys. Our son is speech delayed and when the speech therapist came to do his evaluation, he told us to get rid of some of our son's toys because having too much around prevented him from focusing. I'm always looking for a reason to give away toys. Also my son's favorite "toys" are things like paper towel rolls and empty tape dispensers anyway.

When people ask what our son needs for Xmas or his birthday, I always say "savings bonds." Our family pretty much knows not to buy him toys. Now I also add books because he enjoys being read to, but for the few toys we do have, I bought a toy chest. We also have a small table where we store some toys. There is a corner of our living room where the table and the toys are kept, and that is it. Our apartment was the house tour last week so you can take a look at our set up in the house tour archives.

I live in an apartment as well, so it is a little easier to keep my daughter's toys in her
bedroom, because she doesn't have to run upstairs to get them. Still, I would recommend keeping as few as possible in the living rooom, and then picking them up with your child each night. We made a game out of it, and she learned that chaos is not a normal state of affairs.(She's 7 now, and I don't even need to bug her about picking up her toys when she's done playing). I got a storage bench for her toys, but found that the stuff that sifted down to the bottom never got used. You might be better off with a series of bins and baskets. Still, the storage bench looked a lot nicer and I use it now in the hall.

As for furniture, the best investment I ever made was a Crate and Barrel sofa with machine washable slip covers. And I'm talking white! You can toss them into the washer whenever there's a spill, add some bleach, and they look great. Because it's white, it goes with anything.

I would also recommend a childsize table and chairs, one that looks not too "kiddy", so you don't mind having it in the living room. Will keep your child from messing up rugs, floors, your furniture while doing projects. Here's the one I got:
http://www.kidsquartersonline.com/solid_wood_24x36%20table%20and%20chair%20set.htm

Finally, keep in mind that they really don't need many toys around at any one time. If anything too many toys makes it hard for them to choose and they won't play with any of them, so I agree with other posters--store most of them away.
This site offers free shipping as well.

On this same note... we're ready to upgrade from the grad school torchiere halogen lamps, but aren't quite sure what's the next step. Anything we get should be cat- and baby-proof, i.e., hard to knock over. Any ideas? The rest of our furniture/decor is still of the grad school/peace corps variety. Thanks!

We have two year old twin boys and we too were just looking for comfy, cuddling, yet good looking can withstand the test of toddlers couch. Between crate and barrel and room and board, I must have parked on at least 30 couches and when I finally sat on the Simone Day Bed at C and B - there was not turning back. It is now in our living room and it is just a dream. We all can sit on it and cuddle and it looks lovely. I threw pilows on the back of it. Here is the link http://www.crateandbarrel.com/family.aspx?c=947&f=10891&q=day+bed&fromLocation=Search&DIMID=400001&SearchPage=1

Also, Ikea, Ikea, Ikea - my kids will put thier toys away if they know where they go - so we have lots of colorful containers, which Ikea is wonderful for. Also container store.

Laurie

I have to plug a few IKEA products that I think would be great in your space.

One of my favourite sofas these days, the only one less than about $4K, is the EKESKOG at IKEA. I first came across it on the cover story of the U.K.'s "Elle Decoration" in 2004 -- it was featured in a really stunning Dutch house. And after it turned up in our local IKEA, I was even more impressed -- it's very comfortable.

The Dutch family (3 kids) had it in corduroy, which is still my favourite cover. Ah yes, you can get additional slipcovers! And they go in the washing machine!

I don't know if you have the space for 2 facing sofas, but that looks the best. The key is to supplement the IKEA pieces with some quirky flea market finds as well as some pedigreed pieces (the Dutch house had a couple of Cherner chairs, and a simple custom-made walnut dining table, if that gives you any inspiration).

Here it is:
http://www.ikea.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?topcategoryId=15585&catalogId=10103&storeId=12&productId=10957&langId=-1&categoryId=15945&chosenPartNumber=S19829580

As for the kid stuff, you know you need to get rid of a lot of toys. In our house, we follow Montessori rules: if our 2 1/2yr old daughter finishes playing with something, she cannot start on something else until she puts the first toy away (it can be hard to enforce, but it really pays dividends!). I am pretty brutal about the toys that come into the house -- they must be fun, educational (stimulating something appropriate for her age) as well as attractive. Although we don't have a "no fisher price"rule, none of their products have made the cut.

Here is a great toy I love to sing the praises of -- it is small (they mailed it to us from Oz in an envelope!) and suitable for a small space, the best ride-on toy I have come across, and gorgeous to boot (I don't mind it being left lying around): the wheelie bug (we have the cow) http://www.wheelybug.com/

IKEA has a great kids' table and chairs: the Russ table for $20 and Farrglad chairsfor $15.

If you cannot keep the toys stored in your daughter's room, consider that one clever way of minimizing clutter is to keep it low to the ground and strictly contained. The article I saw had the items kept in boxes under a floating shelf (like IKEA's Lacke), which was hung at about 15-18", going from wall to wall. If you could properly anchor it to the wall (a big "if" since your daughter WILL walk on it), it could not only contain her clutter, but provide her with a great play surface and you with an entertaining surface.

Just some thoughts...

What about pulling the futon away from the window, into the room for your adult area (and adding a kid-friendly upholstered ottoman/coffee table, an end table and lamp) and then making a window seat storage area under that great window?

A pair of storage benches with cushions on top would do the trick. Then scoot the tall bookcase over a bit, add another on the other wall of the corner with bins/baskets on the shelves even more storage or a kids-library corner.

Decorating: paint the walls Benjamin Moore CC280 "almond bisque" (it comes out as a very versatile, rich, creamy yellow) in flat (can be washed); trim in CC40 "cloud white" in semi-gloss. Move the couch away from the window (maybe put it on an angle?) and place in front of the couch a coffee table that has a shelf underneath it to store your continually rotating pile of children's books from the library, and that are always on hand. Donate the pack and play and most of the fluffy stuffies. Replace blue curtains with some white ones, like you have in the living room.
Toy storage and philsophy: buy lovely, sturdy wicker baskets from Ikea that are the size of a cardboard box (low enough so a child can reach anything in it while sitting on the floor), but can also be stacked. What goes in the baskets? Duplo in one, Lego in another, Lincoln Logs in another, etc. These toys are all so versatile that your children will enjoy them for years - the kids will just get more sophisticated with their building projects. We have very few toys in our house, but have focussed on Lego because of its longevity and staying power. You might want to concentrate on Playmobil, but whatever you do make sure you don't get bits and pieces from different toy companies, because then you'll have a really expensive mess of toys.
Gifts: whenever someone asks what the boys would like as a gift, I say Lego, which ranges in price from $5 for a small box, to $100 for a large box. So everybody is kept happy: I'm happy because it goes into the existing Lego pile which is stored in a lovely wicker basket; the boys are happy because they have an expanded Lego selection; and the gift-giver is happy because they have fulfilled their need to arrive with a present. Another idea, however, is to write on a birthday invitation (as happened to us last week) "Please, no gifts; however, if you would like to bring a dollar to the party, we will be donating it to our favorite charity." This was a great success.

we've also had some success with requesting 'non-gift' gifts -- zoo membership, swimming lessons...
i have trouble because the kids like saving junk and making things out of it (various sculptures, constructions, etc.) which is fantastic, but lots of -stuff-.

Regarding toys in all the rooms -- when I was a tot, I was allowed to bring toys into rooms where adults were, but all of my stuff had to be put away in MY room when I wasn't directly playing with it. This was the rule in effect from earliest toddlerhood, when my mother had to do/supervise the cleaning up, to when I moved out at age 20.

As far as I recall, this is what parents *did* in the 1960s/1970s... baby-dominated living rooms just weren't something I saw at friends' houses, either. And my generation doesn't seem particularly damaged by having a few rules and clear territorial boundaries.

We have a storage ottoman on casters from Ballard Designs http://www.ballarddesigns.com/jump.jsp?itemID=1599&itemType=PRODUCT&RS=1&keyword=ottoman Customer service was good and the piece is decent quality. We use it as a coffee table and toy chest. I can easily roll the ottoman out of the way for more floor play space and quickly roll it back into place so that the living room looks more adult. Added bonus is that there are no sharp corners.

I'm a big fan of Benjamin Moore Montgomery White, a nice creamy color that looks almost yellow. Not quite sure how it would look with your rug though. You might look at Monterey White which is a bit more khaki. Good luck!

wende, i agree with you in general, i'm just not sure how well that concept translates to a small space.

when i was very small, my family lived in a two bedroom apartment. there were 3 of us kids, my little brother and i sharing one bedroom and the baby in with my parents. while kid bro and i kept most of our toys in our bedroom, there was a good deal of baby stuff in the living room, and a certain degree of kid stuff, too. especially larger pieces that didn't fit well in there. there was a kid sized table and chair set, the baby swing, probably the tricycles and such. there was just no way to raise three normal healthy play-loving children in a 700 sf apartment without resorting to kid stuff in the 'adult' areas of the house.

also, i understand wanting to keep an orderly space and one that allows the grownups some sense of aesthetic self-worth, but since when is the living room or any other shared part of the home an inherently 'adult' space? my brothers and i used and lived in our whole home. not just our bedrooms. in fact the way it ended up working when we moved to a bigger place was that my parents' bedroom was the 'adult' space off limits to fort building and craft projects, rather than such play being limited to one set 'kid' area.

The opoponax - this is so wierd. I clicked on your name to see your photos and saw one of a former colleague of mine (Ranbir). How flippy is that????

weird! he's my roommate!

do you work for the company he used to work for with the initials I.B.?

how funny!

Yes, exactly (IB). Tell him I said hi!

will do!

now i'm all worried that i shouldn't be linking my flickr page here or shouldn't be making photos of other people public. it's hard because my space is shared, and while i think my roommate's ok with it, it's a small world and i'd be potentially creeped out if the situation was reversed.

Back to the subject at hand: Susan's post about the Legos inspired me to get rid of A LOT of my son's toys over the holiday (independence from toys!). He now has his lego set, a gear set, and another 'building things' type set (pieces that can be put together in many different ways), 2 toy cell phones, 3 stuffed animals, and books. I packed up all the plastic toys, toys with batteries that make annoying sounds, pieces of toys that don't go together anymore, and I took them to his preschool where he and other kids can play with them during the day. The preschool was grateful to get new toys and I am grateful for the clearing of clutter.

Forgot to add that he also has four balls of varying sizes: a soccer ball, a giant exercise ball, a gas ball and a smaller ball for crib play.

i saw your bottom post before your top post, didn't realize we were back on the subject at hand, and thought you knew something about my roommate that i didn't!

returning to topic, i think giving your son's still-functional toys to his preschool is a brilliant idea. i have vague memories of HATING day care because there were never enough toys to go around and they were always broken or missing some vital piece.

I have a little one too. I purchased the Norebo storage from Ikea for that rolls in and out easily so you can store toys in there. I do feel less is more when it comes to toys. The Norebo shelving on top makes it wonderful for displaying grown up items with no signs of what's in the storage box below. Or if you choose not to add the shelving part you can always add some pillow and it can easily be a side bench. I would definitely remove the playpen. I think having a "clutter free" living room eases the daily stress. If you still want to keep more toys around..how about some wicker baskets with lids?