In college I lived in student housing with six guys and five other girls. This is how we made it work:

(1) dishes had to be done nightly
(2) we all pitched in for a housekeeper who came weekly

I'm all for that dishes being done nightly rule above!! The biggest issue I had with a messy roomie was her leaving skillets on the stove for days (without even rinsing). If I went to clean them she'd try to stop me claiming she'd do it- I didn't need to! Of course who knows WHEN she'd get to it- so I always did it.

We also set rules about common areas- like, if she wants to line dry clothes in her room, fine. But no hanging laundry room racks full of clothes on the outside of her door- which was consequently the first thing you see when you walk in...

I have the same problem with my sister. The dishes nightly sounds fantastic, but the problem is that you can't MAKE someone do it. If they aren't cooperating, despite their best intentions, your choices are to do it yourself, or put up with it, essentially.

With one of my old flatmates, I'd go around every Saturday with a box and put all her random stuff that was lying around the public areas of the house in the box. She didn't mind too much - it meant she could find things! but I didn't like doing it... it felt so passive aggressive. But at least I had somewhere to sit!

I'm moving out at the end of the lease, too. Four more months, and counting...

I don't think you can make people follow through on their promises if they don't now. Keep your space the way you like it and either clean up after the others (to make yourself happier) or live with their messes. (Or try offering to clean up IF they do something for you -- like buy your food or something... some folks might think that's a worthwhile tradeoff.)

When I lived at home with my family, sometimes someone would gather everyone's stuff lying around and dump it on their beds. I am not recommending this, but back then we found it hard to get too irritated by this, since we knew where it came from...

I feel your pain, though not, I'm sure, to the same extent. I live with two other people. I do the cleaning, with the occasional help of one other roommate. It is very frustrating to feel like you're someone's mother or manservant when all you want is to have a decently clean house and not to have to do it all yourself. Sometimes it can help to have a chore chart. Split it into things such as sweeping, mopping, cleaning the bathroom, taking out the garbage, and make these weekly tasks. Then again, that will only work if everyone is willing. If they are unwilling, it's likely that you are, like me, living with people who will simply not pitch in as long as they know someone else will do it for them. In that case you have no recourse but to suck it up and eagerly await the end of your lease. Good luck!

I like PrettyKitty's idea about pitching in for a housekeeper...except with a twist. Everyone puts a designated amount of money into a monthly housekeeping pot. Every chore (such as nightly dishes, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, etc.) is assigned a cash value. Whoever does the chore gets the cash. Those who work hardest get their money back, and then some. Those who don't, pay. You could really clean up! (Literally AND Financially!)

Hire a housekeeper - and make them pay.
Move to your own place.

Everyone has strengths; have a house meeting and find out what they can bring to the table - kind of a bartering system. Each person contributes a skill of sorts to the household, plus add the idea of a money fund for housecleaning and maybe you can find some household harmony.

Hire a housekeeper. Really, it's the only way.

Or, ask to get out of your lease since you are living in unsanitary conditions that are hazardous to your health and a breach of contract?
;-)

I was in the same situation about a year ago. I lived with my boyfriend and our apartment was the "party house" which meant I had to clean up after about 12 people who unofficially moved in (some slept in the bathtub, some on the couch, two in my closet...)I eventually became so ticked off all the time no one wanted to be around me. problem solved haha.

How about using rewards? If people are not naturally good at cleaning up after themselves, you ain't gonna motivate them with finger waving, no matter how nice you are. If they can think of it as a game it might help. Or, a friend of mine does "power hour" where they run around the house cleaning up everything they can for one hour with the music playing loud. It makes it fun.

That's a lot of people not cleaning up, though. Sounds like you're not in with the "culture" of the house.

Move.

I'm not kidding. I've had lots of experience with roommates who all had very different standards of cleanliness. It's really hard to get people to change their behavior and you don't want to feel like a nag or a scold all the time.

So either live with someone who you know has the same cleaning habits as yourself, or live by yourself.

If you go the chore chart route, you could let people pick their favorite ones or make it random each week (let them draw chores from a jar).

I assume you've told them that cleanliness is important to you. Most people have a line they won't cross, even if it's much farther away than your line. If you keep cleaning, they'll never get to the point where they feel they need to clean. Maybe you could ask how often some task should be done and then at least get them to do it that often even if they don't think it really needs to be done yet. Then you'd still be doing more than your share, but not everything.

Some people clean only when they move though. Bleh.

I usually go on strike. let things get ridiculously messy. Don't chip in at all. everyone has their breaking point. Keep everything separate. Have your own dishes wash them and take them to your room. You need other people to realize its a problem, and they won't if you clean things for them.

don't live with slobs. it doesn't add anything to their lives to have you nagging them about their habits. the anxiety you feel from the mess (whatever you consider a mess to be), you radiate right back to your roommates. why do they have to feel bad about who they are?

put this at the top of roommate checklist. make it clear it's a dealbreaker. and seek like people.

i'm sure they'll all be a bit happier once you move it. you're not the only one who's tense.

Move, suck it up until then, and consider this a learning experience for screening future housemates.

The solution that will make everybody happy until you leave? Get over it. Everybody had different levels of tolerance when it comes to messy. If you want your kind of clean, clean it and let it go. Life is way too short to worry about dirty dishes and shoes left in the living room. :)

Move, or threaten to move. If they are too lazy to clean up after themselves, they are too lazy to go after you for the rent, and a landlord is not going to go after one when he has 6 others to make them pay. As long as the rent isn't coming out of your account, put your roommates on immediate notice, and tell them to look for your replacement. Suing you over a couple months rent is not worth it to anyone. Make it clear that if they can't stop being disgusting roommates, then you can't stop moving out. Then place an ad for a "tidy" roommate. And for heaven's sake, keep the roommate number to 2 and under! You're six against one!

Like Lady J said, they'll probably be happier once the clean roommate moves out and stops complaining. Maybe they have a friend who wants to take your place! Just ask!

A chore chart is a good idea, as is a "leave it as you found it" rule for common shared areas.

Bet those skillets would get cleaned quicker if they were left on the pillow of the person who left them after 24 hours...

but you probably dont want to go down that route. You may feel bound to a lease. Ask your flatmates if they'd let you out if you helped facilitate finding a new roommate (scheduling open house, vetting potential roommates). If they have a different standard then they'd probably be just as happy to not get nagged about doing their dishes anymore....

you don't want to be their mother and you don't want to be their maid. you want a clean house? then you have to live with clean people. or better yet, get your own place.

A cleaning lady is only going to work if the roomies are tidy dirtbags. No cleaning lady I know is going to tidy up after slobs. I did the same thing another poster mentioned: gather everything up and dump it on their bed. Passive aggressive? No more than agreeing to clean up after onesself and then refusing to do so. Then, as previously mentioned, your only option is to move. Sad, but true.

Um, enjoy your clean bedroom?

I think you need to move, or find a way to accept the situation for what it is. Chore charts and house meetings won't get people to change their ways. Passive aggression and nagging aren't going to work -- they'll just make people angry.

I will move out at the end of the lease, but do you have any ideas for how to deal with people like this?

Bitch about them on the internet.

i need help with this too, but unfortunately, those in question are my husband, mother- in - law and step- farther- in - law, i hate the dirty dishes i find mountains of every morning (even when i clean after dinner, still more seem to appear between then and the morning). its gotten to the point where my awful mother in law calls me Cinderella. i hate living with them, but the economy has forced it upon us. my mum would slap this shit out of my mother in law if she knew. oh wells. oh and we dont even own a vaccum as no1 cares for them besides me.

i also have always managed to live with really slobby men who dont help with housework, im gettin to my wits end.

Stop cleaning up after them altogether. Let their dishes pile up and rot. Enjoy your clean bedroom, and find excuses/activities to be out of the house as much as possible. If you have to cook for yourself, clean up only after yourself. Do not touch a single thing that isn't yours.

The week before you leave, hire a maid and stiff them with the bill. Optional act of revenge--take away all their toilet paper.

Being an engineering student, I almost always live in a house with messy guys. Easiest way to get them to do dishes - only have 1 dish per person. That way, if they don't do their dishes they won't have anywhere to eat!

While I was in college, I lived with a Brazilian girl who was a complete drama queen. She also ate toast without a plate, never tidied after herself and spoke at the top of her voice at all times (but truly these were the least of her offenses).

I confronted her about her behaviour and asked her to be a little bit more considerate. When she freaked out and made it all into a big drama by instigating racial slurs at me I sought revenge by peeing on her toothbrush, spraying Detol on her fruit so it would go off quickly, turning the lights off in whatever room she was in, and taking an *extremely* long time in the bathroom when she was late for work.

This all worked and within 2 weeks she moved out. I do not advocate the kind of behaviour I demonstrated but it did work. and she was racist...and painted her bedroom walls terracotta.

Do you share dishes? You shouldn't. Wash up your own and keep them in your room. Get a hot plate and coffee maker and keep in your room. Buy a covered, cheap, plastic garbage bin and put it in a corner of the kitchen. Whenever dirty dishes start to pile up, put them (gently) in the can and close the lid. If there are trash and belongings in other living spaces, get another can for that room. Always make sure you do not damage anyone's belongings and be as gentle as you can. The object isn't to piss people off and give them an excuse to justify their actions, the object is to get their cr*p out of the way and embarass them.

You could also get plastic garbage bags and simply fill them with the individual's things and place gently inside their room.

OR

Have a talk with your group and tell them it just doesn't work for you and ask to be let out of your lease. Who did you sign the contract with? The landlord or the group? If the group, start a log of your discussions (date, time, complaint), take lots of pictures, then give them a month's notice (written with explanation) and move out cleanly and quickly; don't expect your deposit back. Part of any lease is the unwritten agreement that the place is habitable; they are the ones who have broken the lease terms. Any small claims suit will be foiled by your log and pictures. If they get nasty you can always take your pictures to the landlord; he can start eviction proceedings and would probably thank you for saving the place.

My first question is why did you move in with six people? Granted you got a huge house to live in, but it seems like you must not have known these people well.

You have two choices.
Choice A -- Clean up after everyone and deal with the fact you are the only one who seeks perfection in the cleanliness of the house. And/or ask everyone to pay for a housekeeper.
Choice B -- Buy a small hot plate, microwave, and fridge and make your room basically a studio and deal with it until the end of the lease. Just learn the lesson to know your roommates well and try not to have more than one or two.

You might just try asking (not telling) people to do things for you. (Start with small things like taking out the trash, or grabbing the dirty dishes in the other room) Some people just aren't 'neat' but if they have a specific chore they can usually follow through. Also lead by example, make sure the others see that you are making an effort, don't sneak around behind their backs and move their things.
Maybe try to approach one or two of them face to face, talking one-on-one to a person can tell you more about their motivations. You might be able to organize a cleaning 'power hour' on Sunday afternoons even if it is just with one or two other people. My old roommate and I used to organize these once a month or so, she would tackle all things bathroom and in exchange for not having to scrub the toilet I would sweep and mop/wipe, down flat surfaces in the living room and kitchen. The place was never spotless but we also never had a rodent problem.

If all these things fail, break your lease and move. Depending on how much your rent is it's probably not worth this amount of trouble.

Considering that you've tried house meetings and people just don't follow through on what's decided, I agree with everyone who said to just put up with it and then move when your lease is up.

Based on my experience living with a bunch of housemates, you will not change people's habits.

I just got out a situation like this, my mantra became to only affect a change if it directly concerned me.

You do have to accept that other people have differing points for that moment when it's time to clean. Clean only your mess, leave other stuff.

The fact that they aren't doing what they said they would is a real drag, but find enjoyment in your own space.

Oh, and the reason I finally moved: roomie brought in bedbugs from a bedframe off the street. Scream.

If its not your house then unfortunately you can't make people clean after themelves. If you have your own room I would get a mini fridge with a lock and I wouldn't come out unless I had to.

We played a game called "trash tipper" - whoever tipped the trash when it was too full had to take it out. It made chores more fun.

As the roomie that would have been more likely to be the slob, here's my advice:

1. How messy is messy for you? I had a roommate that would flip out if I draped a coat over a chair when I got home. It wouldn't be there for more than the 10 minutes it took me to make a snack before going upstairs to my room. Recognize that people have different standards, and there may be somewhere you can compromise, or just live with it. (My messiness tended to be mostly clutter, I never let anything rot and cleaned up anything stinky).

2. If it's not something you can live with, ask yourself, do you want to remain friends with your roommates when you move out? Because nagging, demanding house meetings, creating charts, etc. will not win you any friends. If your roommates don't want to clean, no amount of meetings will make them. Even if they do, they'll hate you for it if you either tell them what to do, or get really passive-agressive.

3. If you do want to stay friends, talk to them about it, one on one. Tell them how it makes you feel, and see if you can figure out why they are messy. For me, it's that clutter just doesn't bother me. It never has. As a result, I don't notice it. Once the second roommate (the one I didn't hate) explained how much it bothered her, I really tried to make an effort to straighten up. And she was nice about it, not totally passive agressive. And although we decided not to keep living together, we're still good friends.

When you interview with prospective roommates, be upfront about the level of cleanliness you are comfortable with and that you'd like to live in a home with other people who share your views on neatness. You will definitely find other people who are happy and relieved to live with a non-slob.

My solution? NEVER have roommates. Certainly not that many!

I gave up on roommates when I lived with three other girls. The house we were renting was pretty and spacious enough for everyone to be comfortable. That was not an issue. The issue was that I ended up doing ALL the cleaning. (Except for the individual bedrooms.)

I finally reached my end one day when I was very sick and went to use the microwave to heat up a cup of tea or something. (MY microwave, by the way, that I had donated for the household.)

The thing was FILTHY! Not only spaghetti sauce everywhere, but pieces of spaghetti! I went off on these people. How people can put food into something that disgusting is beyond me.

I will never, EVER live with people again.

@ rexrayfan -

I love your idea! Wish I'd thought about it when I had roommates!

I shared with some super slobs and eventually took to tossing filthy, mouldy dishes through their room doors... not very gracious but I so understand ... try and maintain public places as clean... and go out a lot!!!

It's hard living with slobs when you're not one. I've done it and finally learned that they are oblivious to things that get you stewing like dishes piling up. Once I realized they weren't doing it to annoy me, but because it genuinely didn't matter to them, I got less steamed about the whole thing.

Marina's suggestion of a limited supply of plates, mug, and silverware will reduce build-up of gross dishes. This method worked for an old boyfriend living with two other guys.

Have all of you considered a maid for a monthly cleaning of at least the bathrooms & kitchen ? After one visit everyone might agree it's worthwhile even if they have no intention of cleaning themselves.

If your roommates belong to any social networks you could always shame them with pictures of your house...