Maybe the compromise could be paint the upper cabinets in white (get paint samples and match the appliances so the whites don't clash.) Keep the bottom cabinets in the wood (at least for now) as their darkness blends with the countertop. But, I would go ahead and paint the exposed back of the return to match the dining room walls. It'll make it feel like a wall instead of cabinet backs.

I think the window could use a simple Roman blind in white - mounted inside the window. Once you get more white into the kitchen, it'll make the rooms feel cohesive.

As for art, well, I know the feeling. You have to pick your battles and based on the emotional attachment your husband has for this piece, maybe you could suggest just a new frame - rustic wood, but simpler lines?

PS - the frame could be explained to the friend who made it that you damaged it and needed to replace it. No need to say, it didn't match your design decor or anything.

How about replacing the cabinets? Not sure if there is a standard, but maybe it is possible to just change the doors to white ones and stack the other ones somewhere where they will soon be forgotten?

Try to make your hubby understand that everything in your home should be something you BOTH want/love so that you can both benefit from optimum feng shui. If he wants to keep the frame, let him take it to his office or his man-cave/den or whatever. And you're right: a mirror would be better feng shui here.
Katy

What about moving the painting to another prominent location but one in which you spend less time, such as the foyer or hall? The friend would see it when s/he visits but you wouldn't have to look at it every day at every meal.

home body has some great suggestions. Maybe a good way to make your case would be to find some before-afters of other folks who have taken the plunge and painted their wood cabinets, so he can see how amazing a transformation it can be. I know I've run across many of those in the home-blog circuit.

start by agreeing with the husband and his thoughts of never painting wood. Say you will paint the appliances instead. This should freak him out sufficiently that he will start to see the error of his way. Take it from there...

I am deep into a kitchen reno myself, and it hasn't been easy. There are a few things you can try to get husband to agree to paint the cabinets (some of these are a little dramatic):

1. Do as another poster suggested and paint the top cabinets only, leaving the bottoms wood.
2. Make the case that you are the one spending the most time in there, so it should make you happy.
3. Just paint them while he's gone.
4. Go on strike and let the dishes pile up and the bellies go empty until he relents. (This only works if you are the cook of the house).

For wall color, my kitchen is painted "Stone" by Benjamin Moore. It's a beautiful smoky, grey-taupe color that's neither masculine nor feminine and goes well with warm tones. I've also used Martha Stewart's "Sunflower" and been very happy with its golden yellowness.

And the window treatment...
If you are slightly DIY-inclined, this is a great, cheap way to reuse ugly metal mini-blinds: http://littlegreennotebook.blogspot.com/2009/02/make-shades-out-of-mini-blinds.html

If you are really feeling ambitious, you can make these shades out of oilcloth so they are easy to wipe off. However, oilcloth mainly seems to come in fruity patterns (not my style), so I made my own with cotton fabric and linseed oil! http://www.curbly.com/ModHomeEcTeacher/posts/6857-real-oilcloth-and-how-to-make-it

Hope this helps. Good luck!!!

Nothinglikeadame~~ Perfect strategy! I'm sure that would work. And I agree, painting the cabinets white is the answer to bringing the kitchen to the reality of her inspiration picture.

ON the side of your husband, some wood should never be painted......oak cabinets are not one of them. I think you just need to put your foot down and tell him you are depressed in that kitchen and need to make the space work for you...... happy wife - happy life!

You could also do as another poster suggested and purchase a couple of door fronts, install them temporarily and let him see how much brighter and better the room will look. Then take them back.

You are overthinking the white paint colour. Let one of the good paint stores guide you.

I think I would paint the kitchen cabinets the mustard color of the walls. It would open up the space, give continuity and, in my opinion, be less jarring than white.

I think that the few changes you made to your dining nook were all it took to change the room's appearance from heavy/oppressive to really crisp and welcoming. I'm a proponent of making small changes before insisting on large ones, sometimes, all you need to do is move a few things or add or subtract a piece or two to totally change the alignment of things in the room - which can change the whole feeling it brings.

I also hope your husband's friend doesn't check in to this website.

If you're the one who does most of the cooking and you spend the most time in there, then its decor should please you. If your husband is so intent on keeping it the way it is, then inform him that from now on he will be doing the cooking as you cannot stand to be in the kitchen any more. That should change his tune!

I don't know if this is going to help you at all. But what about removing all the upper cabinets (you might be able to sell them on Craigslist- they look like they're in good shape?) and installing some open shelving to match the lower cabinets, which wouldn't involve painting any wood surfaces white, but would "open up" your walls a little more and might minimize that heavy feeling? Then you could paint those walls yellow to match the rest of the kitchen. It's not quite getting you closer to your inspiration kitchen, but in a way it sort of is, because the open shelving would echo those wrap-around shelves in your inspiration photo.

You would need to figure out what to do with the microwave, though. And I know that shelving isn't for everybody (I don't know if I could make it work myself- I don't have any nice dishes!)

Agreed with the recommendation for a Roman shade in the window.

I can sympathize with your dilemma- I have similar cabinets but mine are a lot shabbier than yours. I want to paint them someday but I'm not sure when it's going to happen.

How about just purchasing new glass doors for the upper cabinets? You can get them in several different colors so pick one you like and that way you get around your husband's opposition to painting the wood and it will lighten up the kitchen.

The window would look nice with some cafe curtains in a kitschy color/pattern you like, maybe sunflowers to match the yellow elsewhere with the bonus of leaving the top of the windows open to let the light in.

I agree with coconut hill about moving the picture to a hallway or other space less prominent but where the friend can still see it is proudly displayed.

Check out Maria's blog: http://colourmehappyblog.blogspot.com/

Maria is a color consultant in Canada who has addressed all of your issues in various posts. Your comment about the green tint to the cabinets is telling, and she has several posts that discuss under- and over- tones. Maria's job is to reconcile all of these issues. If your finances permit, I would look into hiring her for an internet consultation. Again, there is one great post on kitchens and "my husband doesn't want to paint the wood!"

Also, remember that not all wood is equal. Are the cabinets solid or what? And, they have already been stained. If you chose to stain you would not be doing anything different to them. A different color stain could eliminate the green tint. Or, you could replace the insets on the upper cabinets with glass.

Just some thoughts....

Hi everyone,
Thanks for all your ideas!
I have great news: my husband consented to having the cabinets painted! Now I'm grappling with which shade of white/cream to use and what to do with the backsplash. As I mentioned, the granite counter has hints of salmon as well as grey, chocolate and rust - none of which go with mustard walls (but my husband doesn't want the walls changed too - he doesn't like change much!). As for the rustic painting, I'm going to broach that one after the cabinets are done...
Any suggestions for backsplash tiles? Are glass tiles on their way out?

greenbanana --

Overall, I'm not getting a "Vintage Kitchen" vibe but a "French Cafe" vibe for your space.

So rather than painting all cabinets white or cream (the obvious choice) why not consider painting just the uppers cream and the lowers a shade of charcoal grey that would relate to your countertops and also complement your mustard yellow walls? When you paint, be sure to sand down and distress the finish in key areas such as mouldings and edges so it doesn't appear too "New".

Window Treatments: I'd suggest cafe curtains on brass rods for the larger window with coordinating fixed panels for the door and side window. I'd pick up the salmon (orange?) color from your hanging pendant lamp for these - perhaps in an interesting provencal/toile print with cream and brown elements. Get lots of extra yardage of this same fabric for a table runner or placemats, napkins and eventually the cushion for your future built-in windowseat.

Artwork: Rather than getting rid of it, why not add to it by getting other pieces of art/mirrors/framed B&W photographs/wall plates/signs/etc and creating a gallery effect on that wall - again, think "French Cafe". The other items could be more to your liking and would de-emphasize the "offending" gift.

I am with you on the "compromising with the hubby" issue--I'm new to it myself and it's driving me crazy. Perhaps use the rustic artwork as a bargaining chip--if he agrees to painting the cabinets, you agree to leaving the artwork in the dining area. Good luck :)

As for picking what color of white will work best--try matching the white that is already on your moulding and baseboards. You already know that tone works! I don't think you need to worry about coordinating with the granite because it's really the wood that will bring out the warmer tones and you're covering that up.

Congrats on convincing the husband!

You said you like a black, white and yellow combination. So plan with that in mind, and make a list of what will be black, what will be white, and what will be yellow.
Eg: Black: counter-top, bottom cupboards, place-mats;
White: upper cabinets, back-splash, door and window frames;
Yellow: walls, dishes, kitchen towels.
Pattern: curtains, tablecloth, window seat cushion.

Pick an accent colour too, such as red, cobalt, or kelly green, either from fabric patterns, artwork. Or decide first and then use that as inspiration to choose fabric. An accent colour will help the space feel fresh and alive, even if used sparingly.

IMPORTANT: If you will be painting the dining room down the road, just not right now, as the cupboards being painted are enough of a change for the moment for your husband. Then think about the future colour of the dining area when deciding the cabinet and back-splash colours, otherwise you be trying to convince him about painting the cupboards again.

As for the painting, I sympathize with both of you, I have art my husband does not like, but there are some things of my husbands I think are downright ugly and he needs them out on display for sentimental reasons. So if you can not stand looking at that picture every morning at breakfast, simply move it to another spot. It should be up somewhere, as it is important to your husband. Move it closer and closer to his man room. Do it gradually (over a year or three) until it is actually in there. In the meantime pick things that are 'just perfect' for the space the painting was in, so that he doesn't move it back.

Hope this helps!