I have hired my building's maintenance man to do a number of projects in my condo from hanging shelves to painting to installing my Ikea PAX closet doors. I always tip him (in cash) when the job is complete, anywhere from 10-20%, depending on how involved the project was.

I would slip cash into a holiday card next month with a note saying again how much you appreciated the extra effort.

A few years ago I would have said no to tipping doormen and such, even at Christmas. I just thought that kind of stuff was passive extortion--you're paying for service that should be the basic standard.

Then I got married and I saw that my wife bonused around Christmas. It wasn't much but I found it made a HUGE difference throughout the year. Each person remembered it and it lasted throughout the year. You don't get standard service, you get better than standard service just in terms of greetings, remembering my name, striking up conversations, and just staying in an general helpful frame of mind.

Now that's the Christmas spirit! Tip so you can get better treatment throughout the year instead of tipping because people work hard and if you live in a doorman building you probably make more than the person at the door and it might be nice for them to have a little something extra to buy presents for their family. People were probably nicer to you after you got married because your wife noticed 'them' as people and not passive extortionists.

Regarding the original question, if someone is doing a little extra for you a token of your appreciation is always appropriate.

I think you should tip your building manager once the job is done or give him an extra nice Christmas tip and say in the card how much you appreciated all of the effort with the bathroom renovation. I don't think these managers get paid all that much by the landlord (especially by one who cuts corners). When I was renting, I would typically tip the super and his wife $100 - $200 because they worked like dogs 6-7 days a week, were there to unlook my door when I locked myself out, and accepted UPS packages for me so they deserved a nice tip.

I'd slip it in the holiday card also. I'm curious to know how much you all think is appropriate for those generally? I live in the east village, pay $2100 for a 2 bed with the super in building (no doorman). Good guy, typically he'll come to me once or twice a year to fix something (shower drains or similar....) Last year I think I gave $50 and a nice box of choccies. Is that enough?

Claire, I had a similar conversation with friends earlier today. We found guidance on the Emily Post web site.
http://www.emilypost.com/etiquette/holiday/holiday_tipping.htm

It sounds like your gift was right on target.

Definitely tip your building manager-- when the work is done, don't wait until Christmas. He'll remember you. I guarantee it. I grew up in an NYC building-- the staff knows who appreciates them, and who does not. You'd be amazed at how cheap people can be with the staff that takes care of where they live. Most building staff are not unionized, they don't get health care, and the extra money makes a bigger difference than you may imagine.

Claire-- I've got say, $50 strikes me as pretty low. But it all depends on what your super does. Does he sign for your deliveries? Have an extra copy of your key? Let FreshDirect in? Tell you when the exterminator is coming? The choc is a nice touch, but I think you should probably at least give double what you do. Think of it as an investment in your future-- in case you ever want to get a delivery after hours, or whatever-- your super is more likely to cover for you if you're a bit generous.

The super's job, in the end, is to work for the building management company/ landlord-- not for you. So it makes sense that if you want a little extra-- pay for it.

i say tip him, especially if the great new bathroom is going to add to the quality of your life at home. and if you can swing $100 that sounds like a perfect amount and i'm sure he will appreciate it.

clairepetrol, i think what you gave is perfect. last year we lived in a doorman building around the holidays and we gave a little bit less than that per person (there were 11 people to give to!), picked a friday afternoon, and had a couple of pizzas delivered to the building with beers. they seemed to really enjoy that as well.

There's a saying "it's not the quantity but the quality that counts. In this case 'it's not only the quality but the quantity.'
You get what you pay for. Tip fairly you'll get good quality work in the future. Tip poorly plus have an attitude - you may as well do it yourself next time.

Ger in Brklyn and gretchen have it right on.

as the kid of a letter carrier and a stay at home mom i can say that we wouldn't have had xmas without the tips that people gave my dad, and i'll always remember the stories he's told about his favorite people on the route: the little old ladies, the shut-ins he would pick stuff up for, people he'd check on, etc (one of his favorite sayings is "cookies are legal tender")

bottom line: if someone is going the extra mile, reward them as much as you are able....and don't feel obliged to wait til the holidays either.

What about the contractor and his workers? Sorry to hijack this thread. But I am almost done with a bathroom renovation too- the contractor and his guys have done an amazing job- should I tip, or does the contractors fee (not cheap!) cover it?

Oooh, good question. I would tip the guy fixing your bathroom $100. Especially if there is tile work because bad tile can really make your showers crap. And I wouldn't wait till Xmas, I'd do now to ensure good service while the caulk is drying.

New tip question: I've got a "regional" super who manages a lot of walk-ups but does not live-in my builidng, barely answers his phone when we do call and shows up whenever he wants and says he's always busy. But, there is a guy who comes by weekly/daily to deal with trash and sweep. I call him the guy who does "real" work and I call my super the "drunk." Case in point: real guy did a good job with bathroom tile. Drunk, wrapped a kitchen pipe with electrical tape to stop a leak.

Can I tip "real" guy, and not tip "drunk"? Or am I required to tip "drunk" just cause he's technically my super.

Thats a handy dandy link! Emily says $20-80 (and probably doesnt live in ny!)

It is on the lower end, but they dont do any 'doorman' type things (fresh direct, packages etc) - its really only any necesasary maintenance. That said they are very sweet...I'll probably give something similar again this year.

Here is what I would do...

If I were JeffreyK I would tip $100 after the job is completed but before the holiday. I always wait until the job is done because I had a bad experience with a contractor not finishing the finish work, touch ups, etc. Added bonus is that he knows you appreciate his hard work. He also might look the other way if your lease states you aren't allowed to repaint and you do anyway.

Shari if the contractor is the owner of the company I wouldn't tip him or her. I would probably slip the guys working for him or her some money if they are the same guys every day and if they do a good job.

Desk, please don't tip the drunk! It is a wonder that you aren't living in a swimming pool. Tip the guy who comes by and does good work every week.

I briefly dated my super and saw that he very much appreciated any thanks he received. Cards, gifts, a kind word here and there, and of course $. As in many service related industries, the work is hard, most of it is done sight unseen and there isn't much praise, so tip your supers people.

If anyone's interested in knowing how much supers do for us every day you can read some stories at http://www.nysupersclub.org/index.html

if you do tip a contractor and crew. make sure you slip the money to the actual crew member.

I tip $100 to my super at Christmas. He is a very cool guy.

Tip the mail carrier? Really? I have never understood that - they are doing their job like teachers, police, firemen, doctors, garbage collectors, mcdonalds workers, lawyers - where does it end? I don't know a thing about supers, but do know that tipping in general has gotten way out of hand.

Claire:
I used to live in a building with a middle-aged couple as supers (they actually lived next door and supered four buildings in the area). They were lovely people, and always helpful, but I was poor. So I'd tip $60, but also bake these really great cookies from a family recipe.

It came to be, after 11 years, that the wife would get so excited about the cookies weeks before holiday time. I'm sure the tip was much needed and appreciated, but I also got the impression that the fact that I took the time to bake for them was more important. I mean, they had probably 200 tenants tipping them, so what's an extra $40 from me as compared to the care that went into a handmade gift...

So I'd say the chocolates are probably a nice extra. Knowing the closeness of NYers living on top of each other, I'm sure your super is aware of what level you can afford to give. If, however, you are a gazillionare, I would say pony up another $50 and make sure those chocolates are Godiva!

I do tip in most interactions where Emily Post would call for it, but I take issue with the idea that we should tip at a certain level just because we make more than the person we are tipping, or because they aren't well off. That sounds more like charity. Personally, I figure out how much I can give each year and I make the most informed decisions that I can about where it should go.

Most contractors I deal with are quite more well-off than I am, but I will still tip them at the end of the job to show my appreciation for the work they put into something that will be such a big part of my life.

jeffery, it sounds like you already decided to give your manager the money. Could you imagine thinking such a generous and well deserved thought and then not following through? i would have a terrible case of the guilts. it's a great idea, you feel grateful and want to express it.
some previous posts have mentioned tips in general, i say if you feel someone has done an excellent job for you or gone above and beyond, money says it best and makes for smooth future favors and jobs.

Thanks for all of the feedback. I'm definitely going to do it: five $20s in a Thank You card when (if!!!) the work is finished. I think he has earned it. Despite all of my frustrations with the job, from coming home from work and finding the toilet in the building hallway to having to shave at the kitchen sink for going on six weeks now, I must admit that the building manager does care and has been making an extra effort to do a good job.

Chumley here. You're probably right; they're nice to me because of my struggling-but-always-generous wife.

So I change answer:

Guys, if you're a scrooge now, it's OK. NEVER tip--just marry someone who does. Same great treatment, none of the awkwardness. ;)

While you're at it:
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-VIP-Service-from-a-Restaurant

Seriously, here's a link that's more "in spirit"

I don't tip at the holidays. Our building's staff and management don't do a good job, period. In fact, at our board meetings, I am one of the people advocating getting rid of the security staff altogether. I like some of them personally, but can't justify to myself giving them money on top of what they are (over)paid. Honestly, I would feel that way even if they did a good job...

As for the concept of holiday generousity - my family spends time together during the holidays. We don't throw money and gifts at each other. WE stopped the gift orgy years ago. My entire gift budget is less than what some of you probably tip your super.

Every year our building management sends out a letter with a suggested tip/gift for each staff member that is weighted by their hours and responsibilities. The amounts are ridiculous.

As for contractors, it depends on how well they do the job and whether their pricing was fair. I tip movers individually in cash, and I let them know in advance. I also buy breakfast/lunch. For contractors, I buy lunch (or let them raid my fridge) and generally try to give them pricy game tickets or stuff like that. Most of the contractors we've used have gone on to become friends.

I think it is great to tip someone for a job well done, regardless. I also, however, think that the best gift is being thoughtful. If you take the time to think of the recipient and give them something that matters, tickets, cookies or even a donation to a charity that relates to them, the cost doesn't matter. I think if you think $100, trust your gut, but maybe write a note telling him how much you appreciate his work, the note will probably matter as much as the money

"but I take issue with the idea that we should tip at a certain level just because we make more than the person we are tipping, or because they aren't well off. That sounds more like charity."

I totally agree with this as well as some of the other comments above

I just don't understand the whole tipping mentality - yes it is prevalent throughout America more so than anywhere else in the world but I still don't understand why people expect to get EXTRA money over and above their wage for doing the job they are supposed to do

If someone comes to refit my bathroom I expect them to do it perfectly - if its not perfect then I'm not paying them the price we agreed on - if it is perfect then they get paid the agreed price - they shouldn't expect to get extra unless they have done something exceptional - if they have worked late into the night and over weekends to get it done early or rectify unforseen problems then possibly

All this tipping people just because you use their services is ridiculous - thats what you are already paying for

Everyone knows how much a job pays - if they can't manage on that amount then get a better job or get a second one - people shouldn't be relying on handouts for doing nothing extra - its no different to begging on a street corner

I used to live in a doorman building, and I had one of the smallest apartments there was in it (or anywhere for that matter), but I really didn't have the stomach to leave anyone out of the Christmas thing, and I didn't grow up with any kind of tipping situation thing, so the way I did it was to buy 2"x3" brass or silver picture frames at the 99-cent store and put money in that, arranging it to where the president's face was showing in the frame (in some cases, half of one president and half the other president), and thus gave something to each of the 15 people on the staff, although not the same amounts. I wrapped each one and put a huge name tag "Happy Holidays to 'Urname Heer' from Curtis in 12FF".

It seemed a tad nicer than slipping them cash in the hand. The little frame was a pretty easy thing for them to re-gift if they wanted to. They definitely remembered me.

As to JeffreyK - I think it is very appropriate to tip your manager, especially since it sounds like you are not paying him and maybe your landlord is or maybe it's just part of his/her duties. I live in a large NYC door-man building and I always just do a card at the holidays, with $75-$100 for the super, $50 for the handyman, $40 for the doormen & porters I really like who go the extra mile and $25-$30 for everyone else. There's no way around it- it stinks to part with you hard earned cash around the holidays, expecially to the guys who don't do a whole lot, but I (like many) get a bonus at the end of the year which I consider and count on as part of my compensation, just as these guys count on their tips. I think the extra gifts are nice, but when it comes down to it what they really want is cash.

There is some advice that I've found helpful from an anonymous "building support worker" AKA resident manager or superintendent here:

http://nycsupersassociation.blogspot.com/2006/10/tips-and-tipping-roundup.html

and do a site search at Superintendents Technical Association (http://nycsta.org) for more info.