Apartment Therapy's lovely and talented Family Editor, Carrie McBride, is off on maternity leave right now. This got us thinking about perfect gifts for new moms. I asked a bunch of friends what they would appreciate after just giving birth. There were lots of good suggestions, but one thing is clear: the time for onesies and diaper bags has passed. Gifts that make life easier and more comfortable at home are the way to go.
1. Food: This was a clear winner. Many said how glorious it was to have pre-made food dropped of by friends. If you're not in the area, a gift card (to use while the baby is still small, sleeping a lot, and can be easily toted around) is good too. If your friend deserves a splurge, contact a meal delivery service. Packages are likely pricey, but you'll have a friend for life.
2. Non-Maternity Clothing: After months of belly-friendly garb, how great is it to receive the gift of normal clothes? This one is easy; just pick up a gift card, and let the mom choose something brand new, even if it's just yoga pants.
3. Housecleaning: This is particularly great after 2-4 weeks, when moms are still moving slowly, but alert enough to notice all the dust piling up.
4. Great Products: Cracked nipples and hemorrhoids are real things, people. Send products that naturally soothe sore skin, like an herbal sitz bath.
5. Spa Services: Sleep deprivation and spit up would make anyone feel frumpy. A trip to the hair salon, a pedicure, or a complimentary massage is just the ticket. Find a masseuse who does house calls, and you get a gold star for gift giving. At the very least, offer to watch the baby for an hour while she takes a shower or a nap.
So, all the rest of you moms out there, what gifts would you appreciate? What did you receive that you really loved and used?
Before & After: Emily Henderson Transforms a Senior's Studio Space
Monica & Austin's Charming Bungalow
Good Food to Share 
The Big Book of Small, Cool Spaces 
Apartment Therapy Presents 
The Eight-Step Home Cure 
Ercol Bar Stool
How To Cook Fluffy, Tasty Quinoa
True Greek Recipe: Paximadi Bread Salad with Tomatoes, Feta and Capers
Hey Sally, glad your back from maternity leave....got you a present.....cracked nipple & hemorrhoid cream.....congratulations!
~awkward~
Kim@SoliloquyOfFood&Such - best comment ever! I am a new mom and would have been mortified if anyone but my own mom bought me pregnancy-specific body products.
As a 38 week pregnant woman, the house cleaning idea sounds TERRIFIC. As for the creams, I don't see the big deal. If a close friend who already had kids brought by something I may have not known about (Lanolin, etc) I would be thrilled.
I like to bring over lunch, and then hold the baby so Mom gets to eat a meal while it is still warm. And after the first 15 to 20 minutes of updates on how mom and baby are doing, I make an effort to switch to adult topics, even if it is just me doing the talking. I remember how desperate I was for adult conversation when my kiddos were tiny.
As a new mama, my favorite thing to receive are short (20 minute), frequent visits. I'm starved for grown-up interaction, but it's overwhelming and tiring to host friends for an hour or more, especially when the baby is fussy. Friends who also bring healthy snacks (that I can eat one-handed, like carrot sticks) are much beloved.
When my daughter was born my sister-in-law realized we were forgetting to eat, so she ordered a bunch of snacks and ready-made meals for us on Fresh Direct. What a lifesaver!
Nothing wrong with giving nipple cream. People have it on their registry all the time. For those who don't, maybe they don't know that they need it so it would be an even more thoughtful gift... alongside a ready-to-bake casserole, of course.
I always preface those kind of gifts with a "Hey, this totally worked for me!"
A book of short stories or a subscription for a magazine that she can read in between feeds and diaper changes. A promise to babysit while she's at the hair dresser's or something similar.
Or a breast pump and advice on how to make daddy feed and change diapers + a girls night out.
I'm two weeks for my due date so hopefully someone I know will read this:
-Food (homemade meal, something for the freezer, groceries)
-laundry (come do mine or drop it off at a local cleaners and arrange delivery or give a gift card for the service)
-babysitting (really just hold the baby so i can take a nap or a shower)
-cleaning (load the dishwasher, wipe down the kitchen, or give a giftcard for a cleaner)
When I help other new mamas, I ask what is needed and offer the quotidien things listed above along with willingness to research lactation consultants, pick up embarrassing things at the pharmacy, etc. Most people have a hard time asking for help at this time in their lives but if it is offered with a smile, accepting becomes so much easier!
One of my closest friends gave me a tin of tea-like stuff that you but on your ravaged "lady bits" to cool and comfort them after giving birth. The kind of thing only a very close friend can give you! (alas I had a c-section :()
Right after I had my son, my mother-in-law sent a Harry and Davids basket with all sorts of snacks I could eat one-handed, and it was the best thing she's ever given me.
food. food. and more food. right on the money.
becoolmom.com
Food for sure. And secondly, very brief babysitting. Massage certificates, movie tickets, etc. are awesome, but if there's no one to watch the baby, they can't be used! Just watching the baby for an hour so the parent can shower, go for a jog, do the laundry that's been accumulating, etc. or couple hours so they can go to dinner without being those annoying people that bring a screaming baby to a restaurant, is the best thing! Oh, and visits are nice, but keep them to under an hour, max. When the baby eats for 45 minutes every 3 hours, every bit of those 2 hours and 15 minutes in between are used for something functional like showering, eating, napping, etc. and if you take too much of that time up visiting, the new mom or dad's whole day just got set back three or more hours.
One more thing - if someone has a small baby and you want to get an outfit, "newborn" size is for 5-8lbs babies, whereas "0-3 month" size is for 8-12lbs. I don't think many people know that, (I certainly didn't), so we had tons of giant 0-3 month outfits but nothing that fit my 6-pounder. The couple of newborn size outfits we did get were just perfect for that first month or so. I had no idea, until I had one of my own and saw the difference. Live and learn!
@FFB4MD: yes, to everything you said!
Leave the house for a couple of hours for a spa treatment...HA HA HA.... For quite a few months after having each of my kids, there really wasn't enough time between feedings for anything like that.
My favorite things:
First few weeks after baby arrives: bringing a meal + visit for a few minutes.
Next couple of months: someone coming over and taking a walk around the neighborhood with me and the kids. A visitor holding the baby or playing with the big kid while I put away dishes, tidy, etc. so we can still chat.
After 6 months or so: babysitting right after the kids' bedtime so we can go out for a couple of hours.
Honestly, I think many new moms first feel overwhelmed, and after that gets a bit better, they can start to feel isolated and alone. So gifts that reduce her workload somehow are super helpful at first, and giving her company becomes more important later.
TV series on DVD. When my son was first born I would spend hours all alone in my bedroom nursing my little one for 45-60 minute intervals. My in-laws were staying with us and I felt awkward nursing in front of them but that meant I was banishing myself to my room for most of the day. Fortunately, my sister had sent me her Friends and Sex and the City DVD's and I watched these on my laptop while my little one nursed and napped. Reruns are the best because you already know what happens so if you fall asleep or are distracted by the baby, you don't miss anything plot-wise. Also, it's nice to have something familiar when you're in new and uncharted territory of new motherhood.
And one thing not to send? Ridiculous floral displays. At the hospital it was fine to get one and thankfully only one because poor ol' dad had to carry everything including the little one down to the car. A couple weeks out we received a huge floral arrangement (it must have been at least $200) in our tiny apartment. I couldn't even lift it and with all of the new things we had to buy (diapers, wipes, eventually formula) it made me uncomfortable that someone spent that much on flowers. Plus, the place was such a mess that the flowers just added to the clutter.
...and in case anyone is interested, the best nipple cream is the nipple butter by Earth Mama Angel Baby. Oh, and the booby tubes -- they were awesome. Now that my daughter is 9, she uses the in her hair when she wants to dress up like Princess Leia for Star Wars parties, or to pretend she is Nelix from Deep Space 9...
http://www.earthmamaangelbaby.com/breastfeeding-support/booby-tubes.html
(and the best diaper cream is the California Baby Calming Diaper Cream -- we still keep it on hand because it works for all sorts of boo-boos and blemishes)
Best thing we ever did was hire a postpartum doula who cooked, cleaned and helped look after the baby since we had no relatives nearby. I even got to nap!
The best gift I got was a Kindle. I was stuck nursing for long periods of time and after a while, it got boring. But, it's hard to read a book or even use a touch screen one armed (even with a boppy), so the Kindle was a lifesaver.
And yes to food and short visits.
Cleaning products?!? *sets herself on fire*
My friend always jogs after work. She drives past my house every day on her way home. She used to stop 3x a week to pick up my twins. I'd have them in the stroller and ready to roll. She'd walk and jog around my neighborhood for a good 45 minutes and that was my time to shower, etc. -- it was the best gift ever.
In addition to food that can be eaten one handed, it was very important for us to have food that took less than 2 minutes to prepare. A frozen casserole is great, but you never know what kind of a situation you'll be in with the baby when it's finally out of the oven. I like to give a bag of groceries (bread, sliced cheese, peanut butter, yogurt, etc.) along with a few homemade items like granola or scones.
A great water bottle. Nursing is thirsty work. My favorite is by Thermos and is absolutely spillproof, but can be opened and closed with one hand.
I got a semi-hollow bodied electric guitar! One of the best gifts ever, and exactly the right time for it.
@stickstuff The cleaning products in the photo are supposed to represent the purchase of a cleaning service or the friend coming over to the house to clean, both of which would be a huge help.
I am 6 days from my due date and I agree wholeheartedly number one on the list. Bringing food is the best thing you could do. Second on the list for me would be pampering beauty products (including the creams), then cleaning help and lastly a spa treatment house call. I don't know how I would feel about the new clothes. Since I will have some extra weight and a significant belly, I might not want to buy new clothes just yet because I will be trying to work off the extra pounds in order to fit into my old clothes (which will feel like new clothes again). If you buy new clothes after birth, they probably won't fit you for very long and it will be a waste.
I hate to bring up this contentious subject, but not all mothers plan to or want to breastfeed. Tread lightly with gifts unless you know her plans. Whether or not they breastfeed, new mothers may not want to leave the baby in the initial weeks, so save your pampering for later.
I've had 2 kids; both were Cesarean deliveries. Food and cleaning were what I wanted. Or someone to watch the baby for an hour so I could shower or nap.
I typically do food. Usually breakfast/snack food since new moms tend to get plenty of casseroles and lasagna but people rarely think of breakfast. So a big fruit salad, hearty muffins and maybe a breakfast quiche. I think every friend I know has said they craved fruit after giving birth.
For friends that are not close by I've sent a gift card to a local restaurant that delivers, comfy pants and pair of PJs (with a loose waist band and a top that worked for nursing).
Can I get some other ideas of snack foods? My BFF is due at the end of this month, and I'm putting together a Taco Box Plus. Snacks would be infintely helpful!
I'm 37 weeks, and I would be thrilled with any of these thoughtful gifts! A one-time cleaning service, however, would be #1. And unless it's a really close friend, I'd much rather have a professional come to clean. I think it could be awkward letting others deal with your mess, otherwise!
Food is great. Cleaning help is great. Coming over to hold the baby (the fun part) while the mom tidies up, does laundry, cooks (the not fun part) is NOT nice. This was the kind of "help" my family provided, and it was awful.
Best gift I got for my second child? An extra day of daycare for my older child.
Oh, and food that can be held and eaten with one hand is super helpful (as opposed to say, soup where you might spill blazing hot liquid all over your newborn).
Geez, first day back from maternity leave and I'm already procrastinating. One more thing...think about spreading out the food if the parents are both going back to work. I can't imagine cooking dinner when I get home, and we've run through our stock of food from the birth or it's freezer burned by now. A great surprise would be if someone dropped off dinner tonight.
Please, nothing that requires scheduling an appointment and leaving the house (e.g. a massage). People gave me some of those and I just had to let them expire. Sure a massage would have been nice, but it was just one more thing I had to juggle. As a new mom getting the hang of breastfeeding, the idea of scheduling an appointment in between feedings seemed like a logistical nightmare. Now in retrospect it would have been fine, but that's not the mind set of a new mom.
Things I wish people had done more for me:
Walk my dog
Take my older kid to the park
Help with Mt. Dishes
Visit more just to talk and have coffee
Most treasured gifts I received were, 2 months cloth diaper service with pick up and delivery. Yoga/ relaxation class subscription with the friend baby sitting while I went to class.
Food for sure, emails and phone calls or (short, planned) visits. And don't forget moms having their second or later babies... the very best thing has been friends who took my older child out so I could have a break at the end of my second pregnancy! I definitely don't need onesies this time around, but time is the best gift! Also, anything handmade has been treasured.
Socks! A mom once told me that socks were something she always needed during pregnancy and after the baby was born because for some reason her feet were always cold during those times. Since then I've gotten nice cashmere socks for moms and moms-to-be. Buy a couple of identical sets so there's no worry about matching later.
Something I've started doing for friends and family out of town who have just had babies is to get them a box of organic fruit delivered to their home. It's what I usually take to friends in the hospital (but then cut up and ready to eat, since hospital fruit is usually gross). After a baby, nothing quite sounds as good as fruit--easy snack.
Information! When I had my first child, I was so clueless about so many things. I would have loved for someone to give me a big list of helpful resources.
Definitely great ideas!
These are all such good ideas.
Food was one of the top ones for me - I had a friend bring a sack of sandwich making stuff and a quiche - I'm still feeling grateful for those 2 years later.
Also cleaning - I couldn't get up other than for absolute necessities for two weeks after giving birth and felt like I was drowning in a sea of tissues and dirty diapers. Friends who came and cleaned were a godsend.
I spent a lot of time while nursing reading ebooks - a gift card to buy some of those would have been fantastic.
Walking the dog too - my poor dog got no exercise for weeks! It would have been great if a close friend (trusted by my dog) had come by to take her out.