at my 30th birthday party- I had 4 different types of my favourite-in-the-world cakes. so i say- party more, and eat more cake!

I've moved around a lot in the past few years and haven't had friends nearby to throw a party for. My birthdays have been quiet but nice, with lots of phone calls and texts and skyping. However, I would LOVE to throw a party like the poster describes one of these days!

I wish more people were like you and threw parties! Most of the folks I know ask you to join them at a fancy restaurant. I like to invite people to my house for DIY sushi, complete with plenty of booze and a cake. I just like an excuse to see everyone!

I'm turning 40 this year and am so torn about my birthday. Do I go away with a small group of friends, host an intimate dinner party, or have a huge blow out? I'm an event planner by trade so I feel a lot of pressure to pull something magical off but I just got married in October so money is an issue.

I do not acknowledge, much less celebrate, my birthday and treat it like any other day. I don't see the point. I don't care if people forget my birthday and I would never expect gifts for it. The whole idea makes me incredibly uncomfortable and has nothing to do with my feelings on getting older.

That said, even though I don't understand why some people think birthdays are special, I respect that they feel that way. I do wish a happy birthday/send birthday cards to those who are hurt not to receive such missives and will join in birthday celebrations (including a gift).

When I worked for an outside company, I had a couple of work friends for whom birthdays were a huge deal who were just a few days apart and I always threw a party for them on our lunch break. Nobody ever knew that my birthday was right in between theirs because they respected my choice to not celebrate my own.

Tess - I love the thoughts behind your birthday party! It sounds like a great day of celebration.

To commemorate a big birthday, I invited several others on a beachy vacation to celebrate. In thinking back on it, it was more about spending time with others than it was about my birthday, although it helps me remember when it was.

My husband and I go out to a fancy restaurant and maybe see a show or watch a movie. We both are not the most outgoing type so we like it nice and quiet.

Celebrating as a way of thanking your friends is a sweet idea, especially when they know that's why they're there. What a way to make *them* feel special instead of hoping someone acknowledges it to make you feel special.

Maybe instead of gift bags, you could give each of them a card that explains why they are important to you or something specific they've done that year to make your year memorable? Assuming that you don't do this already...why wait ;)

My husband and I love CAKE! Soooo ... birthdays are an excuse to have a home made cake. I'd love to throw a party for myself but don't know anyone nearby - and he'd be really annoyed if I threw a party for him (same problem - we don't know people - plus he doesn't like "fuss"). So we just have to enjoy 2nd helpings of cake on our birthdays! (I just bought 2 Fat Daddio 6" round pans for my February cake-fest).

Although I think it's weird (and a little infantile) to expect other people to throw you a birthday party once you're out of your teens, I don't see anything wrong with throwing a party for yourself. A birthday seems like as good of an excuse as any to get your friends together. Heck, if you're providing delicious food and drink for your guests, you're practically doing a public service. I'd much, much rather have drinks and cake at someone's house -- where I can arrive and leave when I please and circulate among different groups of people -- than go to yet another awkward and expensive birthday dinner at a restaurant.

We like to throw parties and basically a birthday is just another excuse for a party. We've been doing it for years now and it is kind of fun to see how we've changed things over time.

One birthday husband and I had just returned from a trip and my inlaws surprised us with a homemade dinner after picking us up from the airport. My MIL had made a really gorgeous chocolate cake dusted with cocoa powder. She was sitting right across the table from me when I blew out the candles and I really, really wish we had a video of the moment when all of cocoa powder flew off the top of the cake and completely covered her. I think we all pulled a muscle from laughing so hard.

If you haven't seen "Nina's Birthday" from Portlandia Season 3, you gotta see it.

I do honestly get annoyed at friends who insist on throwing themselves birthday parties where us guests are expected to pay for an expensive restaurant dinner. If you can't afford to foot the bill yourself, at least host your party someplace affordable.

I don't have parties, but I like informal gatherings where the focus isn't on my birthday. I don't celebrate it much because I just don't enjoy being the center of attention.

At most I just ask friends to come out for a beer at a local bar for my birthday.

I usually enjoy going to other people's birthday parties/dinners/whatevers, but I would probably never throw a party for myself (or be really comfortable with someone else throwing one for me). I am a pretty extreme introvert, and that level of attention makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

Most of my friends and family understand this, but no one at the office does. I work for a small company that likes to make a huge deal out of birthdays with singing and cake, and an "I'm not comfortable with this" doesn't seem to be a good enough excuse to get out of it. Now I just try to make sure I'm out of the office that day.

You don't have to go all out extravagant for a birthday party. I used to always try to go out, but finding a place that all my friends liked and could afford was too difficult. This year I just crammed 20 people into my 600sq ft apartment, told everyone to BYOB (my friends are all really heavy drinkers or I would have bought it for them), and provided snacks and a cake. A few people brought presents, but I didn't ask/expect them. Everyone had a great time-I will definitely be doing the same next year (minus the drinking 2-3 bottles of wine part).

http://youtu.be/BvTGYzqNqDc

Nina's Birthday - there's more on the full episode where they show the actual party

Varies. I tend to do SOMETHING, but recently, it's been small gatherings or just me and the hubs (same goes for his birthday). I'll be 30 in March, so we're planning a big one for that, but even then, it'll be a house party at our place, with cake. And probably a keg, ha. The moto is to celebrate, but don't put people out, either by time or cost. We have some friends who have really elaborate birthday celebrations every year (for non-milestone b-days). Overnight trips, or 2 hr. drive day trips, or pick really expensive bars (no-host), then tend to invite way too many people, so you're lucky if you speak more than a line to the birthday person. We always end up having fun, but spend the couple weeks leading up to it dreading one or more of the above issues, and sometimes feel lucky when we'll already be out of town, haha.

My partner and I treat each other on their birthday. Except for his 50th in October, we don't do parties. Basically we choose a better-than-daily restaurant with good desserts. I suspect a few friends may join us this year, because for my birthday next month we are probably going to the Cheesecake Factory, and I can already TASTE the chocolate mousse cheese cake! (Meal, WHAT meal!?) sigh!

I don't get it. Why would you want to celebrate other people on YOUR birthday? After all, they have their own birthdays where they can be celebrated. If it's YOUR birthday it should celebrate YOU in all your special snowflake glory!

I love birthday celebrations. On my 40th birthday everyone asked me what I wanted as gifts. I asked everyone that could provide a few hours on my 'big' day to bring their children and spouses to play Laser Tag. Oh, it was so much fun to be able to celebrate with little ones and see how much fun they had.
We had pizza afterwards and then everyone went their own way. It's a birthday memory I will always treasure. Regarding others, I celebrate in which ever way they desire. If they rather not, I do respect that. It IS a special day and it's not about the gifts but being with people that you want to share the day with. But honestly, I do love presents. My favorite: MOVIE TICKETS.

I've thrown a couple of birthday/good bye parties for myself. It's a little nerve racking and overwhelming but also very wonderful. I plan to do it up big when I hit 35 in a few years. :)

this post made me smile. cheers*

I love throwing theme parties all the time, so I have them for my birthdays too! Last year it was 90s themed...we watched My So-Called Life, Ren and Stimpy and Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, had gushers, Doritos, and funfetti cupcakes, listened to an epic 90s playlist (Fiona Apple singalong, anyone?) and everybody wore lots of torn denim, scrunchies, floral dresses...it was a blast! We even had a Furby and "Ask Zandar" present!

I turned 40 this year. I am happy to be alive, healthy, and have fantastic friends. Instead of a big bash, I rented a river house in Bucks County for the weekend and picked up the tab, asking some friends if they wanted to join me. I offered a very no pressure invite so those that were busy, not in the mood, or could not afford the travel would have very easy outs. My three best and oldest girlfriends came and it was actually a lot better than having a whole house full of 7 or 8 women. It was just much more low key and relaxing. We made dinners, took walks, visited a farm. I felt so grateful.

@meecee- that was an excellent story!

I enjoy celebrating others' birthdays, but not my own. I'm not afraid of being the center of attention, I just don't think it's necessary for me. I do love a good bday party, especially if it's a milestone. A dear friend just turned 50 & his wife threw a really fun party- beer, wine, bourbon, a few snacks & great music for dancing. I went to plenty of bday dinners at restaurants where we all split the check. And several dinner or brunch parties in friends' homes. They are all fun. As long as there's cake to eat, I'm happy.

I really appreciate the little home gatherings. My friends make quite a bit more money than I do, and always choose some trendy LA restaurant for food and drinks. So we're expected to bring a gift, as well as pay for our own dinner/drinks and a cut of the birthday persons bill too. Instead of enjoying myself and time with my friends, I end up resenting that I am spending more than $100 that I can't afford at a place I would never even treat myself to for financial reasons.

BTW, I'm in my 30's and I would LOVE that sprinkles cake in the picture!!!

Since I've already had my birthday for 2013, I can share what I did. I had 8 folks in, and served Beer Hoisin braised short ribs, mashed potatoes, brussel sprouts with pancetta and a balsamic reduction. The vegetarian in the group got, grilled portabello mushrooms in a marsala cream sauce, over grilled polenta cakes; which everyone then wanted to try. Dessert was of course birthday cake, and for me it was a simple Yellow Cake, with a Chocolate Sour Cream Frosting. There was plenty of red wine served, mostly a Pinot Nior from McMannus winery.

Dinner conversation was a bit lacking, cause everyone was so busy eating. It was the quietest dinner party I ever hosted.

After dinner we sat down for a few rounds of 'Cards Against Humanity'; which certainly livened things up. I thought the cops were going to show up, and shut the party down, we were so raucous.

I don't get how people throw their own birthday parties at restaurants and bars and expect invited guests to pay the tab (and bring gifts!). I always thought the host/ess paid?

I live in a tiny town about 3 hours away from Toronto. I get my boyfriend to take me there for my birthday every year but it's mostly because he's lazy about travelling and I like to get out every now and then. I don't care too much about the actual birthday part and I don't expect gifts, although he usually gets me a little something while we're in the big city.

Now that many (though not all) of my friends have kids, adult birthday parties fall into one of two camps: either they are silly, family-friendly affairs where we can all enjoy some cake and maybe go bowling or something (at a normal bowling alley, not one of those super-hip ones), or they are opportunities for a kid-free evening out (for my last birthday, my husband stayed home with my son so that I could have a pleasant, french-fry-free meal with my single friends.) I enjoy both kinds of parties, though honestly, at this point in my life, I'd rather attend celebrations that work for my whole family in the limited free time we have, so kid-friendly parties are most likely in my future. I guess the common thread and essential element, however, is cake--seriously, why would anyone bother with a birthday celebration that didn't include frosting?

I am only 20, but I haven't really celebrated with a party for a long time. This past year I shared a pizza and watched a movie with two friends, and I literally didn't see a single person on the day I turned 18. It's mostly because my birthday is in the summer and it takes more effort to see people when college is out, but more of my friends have graduated and are staying full-time in NYC, so I think I might throw a fete for my 21st this August- especially since I will be living in an apartment and not a dorm for the first time!

I just want that cake and no guests. Is the recipe in the Kitchen section of AT? (I rarely go there).

Oh duh, wish there was a delete button. I see the cake link now.

My husband and I really enjoy throwing parties... so birthdays are no exception. It's usually really informal: lots of beer/liquor/wine, snacks, and a yummy/fun cake (after our favorite bakery in Chicago majorly raised their prices, we started making our own cakes... fondant, design and all!)

But we moved to Seattle about a month before my birthday this year... so we didn't have a party. Instead, him and I went out to an awesome vegan place to celebrate. I missed the party with 30 or 40 friends, but it was a very nice birthday nonetheless.

It took a few years of marriage for me to realize that my husband isn't very good at birthdays. He's a wonderful guy and a generous, sweet person year round, but in his family, nobody made a big deal out of birthdays, so he doesn't quite get what the fuss is about.

In MY family, however, birthdays are a huge deal, so I've gotten pretty comfortable with throwing my own parties. I don't care about gifts, so I generally ask friends not to worry about that part of things. I just love baking cupcakes, mixing special drinks, and collecting a house full of my favourite people to share them with. And I love making goody bags to give away at the end of the party. Last year, I made friendship bracelets for everyone. The year before, I made mini terrariums. My husband helps out and enjoys seeing how much fun I have doing all this. Though he still doesn't quite understand it. :)

I tried throwing parties for him, but after a couple of years realized they make him truly uncomfortable, despite the fact that he generally loves parties. To each their own, right?

my partner and i have our birthdays within days of each other so we usually celebrate them together with friends on a convenient date. Its important to us that everyone who wants to come can, so we usually opt for something casual and we foot the bill. No presents required come as you are leave when you want. Usually its just pizza, alcohol, and cake at our place. I have a bit of fun with the cakes and try out something novel usually. Otherwise its a really stress free and good time. I cant imagine making a big bother of it. It's just fun to have all your friends in one place! Birthday is just a convenient excuse to guilt them all into coming!

One of my good friends and I have birthday's only a few days apart so for the last 5 years we have been having two birthdays in one. This year we had 4 birthdays in one! We have friends over for a party, they bring their own drinks. Sometimes we have shooters (Although as we get older they make fewer and fewer appearances!) There is always a table full of snacks, but not often a cake. This year we all had trimming the waistline on our minds so all the food was on the lighter side. Veggie trays, stuffed mushrooms and the like. Not the usual selection of half a dozen cheese/bacon based dips!

Before this post I am afraid I had never given it much thought but now that you say it I would love to have friends and family over to my house for birthday party. We usually keep things low key but maybe I could plan for a party in the future. It would be so much fun. And who doesn't love cake?

Throwing yourself a party is MUCH better to your friends, versus the whole going out to dinner thing and splitting the check which can get awkward/expensive. I used to always throw them myself when I was younger, recently did the restaurant thing and regretted it.

I don't like birthday parties really. Especially for myself. I like going out to dinner and that's about it. I don't need gifts, and I don't need to be the center of attention. I know there are people that DO like all that stuff, but at our ages (25-35) we tend to just have dinner and call it good. I would rather just spend time with friends/family than make a big production of things!

All the expensive, fancy restaurants around here have mediocre food, so I like to have people over. Any excuse for a party at my house! I just turned 28 and had a last-minute, indoor picnic with grilled cheese, from-scratch tomato soup, creamy pinto bean soup, and a variety of snacks and desserts (cookies, gingerbread, carrots and dip, olives, etc.). It was pretty easy to pull off and was fun. Although next time I will put down more blankets on our hardwood floors in front of the fireplace. One blanket just wasn't enough. My bones are getting too old to sit on hardwood for long. Lol.

Next year is the last year of my 20s, so I'm not sure what I'll do. Probably have another party at my house. Lol. So much nicer than going out, even if it does mean you have to do the dishes. Lol.

I know, I would never invite people to a restaurant of my choice and expect my guests to pay. However, I know that this is what my kids and their friends (late teens/early twenties) tend to do. They try to choose inexpensive restaurants, and invites are casual.

Yes, I throw myself a party or at the very least a small dinner. And I always have cake on my birthday! :)

I like having dinner with my parents, since they're the reason I'm here and so fantastic (as I like to tell them as often as I can)! I know I won't get many more years to do it, so I enjoy it while I can.

I also like to get my friends together as well. We always like an excuse for long, drawn out games, snacks and drinks. Thanks for showing me someone else enjoys this as well!

Easy enough for my beau and I--our birthdays are 19 days apart, so last year we hosted a party halfway between the two dates for both of us. It was a hit! Gotta love birthday month.

Wow, this is so timely for me! I am turning 30 next month and have struggled with the decision of what to do. It was either: take 25 people out to dinner at a restaurant, meet up at a rowdy country bar, or host a party. I decided to host at our home and then, if we are up for it, the rowdy country bar late night. I feel most comfortable hosting people in my home where I can have some control and also dont have to spend a fortune on dinner/drinks for everyone. This birthday seems particularly nerve-wracking (30!) and I need to understand it wont be perfect, but it will be fun to celebrate with my friends and family.

I've stopped. It's hard to throw parties in NYC because of space restrictions! So usually it's dinner out. This year my friends and I are doing dim sum at the casino by the racetrack and getting aura readings. I just like seeing everyone and doing dumb sh-t with them!

p.s. for my 30th I did a "Dove Day Afternoon." Brunch with a few friends at Dovetail (3 course affair with champagne and extra desserts!) and then I met the rest of my friends at The Dove in the West Village for snacks and cocktails. Julia Stiles was there! It was Super Bowl Sunday and my friends still came out to party with me. It was great! I got wasted and broke a bunch of glasses. Salut :)

I admit that I do my birthday parties in restaurants, but I try to choose one with little private rooms. And since my friends have always insisted on paying for my food...which is NOT why I invited them....I started a tradition of giving them birthday presents on my birthday. After all, I can remember MY birthday date easier than all of theirs.

I make it even more fun by putting a clue only the intended recipient can decipher on each present, and amid all the guessing and laughter, my friends who don't always know each other end up getting to know silly stuff about each other...and me... in the process.

I don't like being invited to a restaurant, where to start with I have to pay the average of what everyone else ordered (so I can even opt for a cheap dish), and then still am expected to pay for a present. I always throw parties at my house (sometimes for up to 35 people). I have a great wine cellar. I love cooking. And I usually ask people to bring something for the buffet (a salad or dessert). Some bring a birthday present, some don't (I usually don't announce it is my birthday, but most friends know by now). It doesn't matter. I am just happy to see my friends in my house and enjoy good food & wine with them. Without extravagant expense.

Sushi with my best friend every year, no party, no cleaning up!

I used to never celebrate my birthday and hated being the center of attention, but after an awesome 30th sleepover thrown by my friends, I've had a party ever since. I love hosting and being surrounded by my friends and, as host, I'm busy coordinating so never the center of attention. I don't even say it's my birthday in the invite, but someone (my best) usually spills it. Anyway, throwing a party for myself ensures that I get exactly the kind of cake I want ;-)

I haven't had a birthday party in a few years and was sort of having the itch to throw one. My birthday isn't until the end of the year though, so I was thinking about having an unbirthday party and inviting people over so we can all celebrate our unbirthdays together. :) I can still decorate and we can still have cake and play games, but I don't have to worry about the birthday focus being on me.

My friends all go out quite often, so I know they won't mind being invited to a restaurant and paying for their own food. (And in turn they know that bringing presents and/or paying for my food are obviously not expected.) I have people over for dinner quite often so it's not that I don't like hosting, it's just easier and more low-key to go out for dinner than to host a party that's all about me.

W.hen you are in your 70's you don't celebrate, you just thank god you're still here

My sister and I have a house party. We get an awesome dj, a super awesome taco man, and we make cocktails and stock the bar. Then we invite everyone we love and like to come celebrate with us. We never ask for or expect gifts. We simply host the people we care about and enjoy our celebration together! We never do the "Go out and everyone dig in your wallet on my behalf" dinner...that's yucky to us.

I was always the type to pretend my birthday wasn't happening, and got annoyed when people made a big deal out of it. However, a year ago, I beat cancer. My attitude about birthdays has completely changed. Now, when it comes around I feel that I need to celebrate the fact that I'm here for another year and that I'm healthy! So I guess I've become a bit obnoxious about it, though I still don't expect people to give me gifts or go out of their way. I haven't had a party since I was 10, but I'm considering starting that tradition up again. :)

I'm a two-time cancer survivor, so birthdays are a REALLY big deal in my house. (I have a bonus birthday too, for my bone marrow transplant. I turn one in May!)

I try to make birthday parties more about the experience than the accouterments. Live band karaoke? Origami folding contest? High stakes mini golf? Yes please. I see nothing wrong with celebrating yourself, your friends, and your life.

My favorite adult birthday was one I threw for myself in my 20's. I made the cake and set the menu and invited the guests and ordered the pinata. I should do that again come to think of it.

Since we have moved around a lot in the last few years, we don't really count on a big "party" per se. But we celebrate with our own little family, in big ways, because of that. For my husband's last birthday, we took a special camping trip. For mine, we went to London, had sushi and shopped at Anthro.
Here's a post about the celebratory camping trip: http://and-here-we-are.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/photo-essay-camping-in-cromer.html

If my husband and I want to go to a nice restaurant for a birthday dinner, it'll just be the two of us. I think it is obnoxious to go to a restaurant and expect guests to pay! (We might go out for a "regular" dinner with friends and then splitting the tab is easy and expected.)

But I much prefer birthdays at home. Like many mentioned above, my husband grew up in a family where birthdays weren't much celebrated, so he prefers a quiet meal, maybe with close friends, maybe just with one or the other children.

I, on the other hand, love birthdays, like to celebrate them or at the very least fill "my" day with love, fun and lots of treats. So I often invite friends over.

The best birthday party I've ever thrown myself (and the guests seemed to feel the same way) was for my 50th. I invited a wild variety of good friends and asked each to make their favorite recipe for 15, or if they didn't like to cook to bring wine for that many. For a short while I worried about an imbalanced menu, but I addressed that by have wonderful cheeses and bread and crudités and plenty of my family's traditional birthday cake (Angel Food iced with a half and half mix of Seven Minute Frosting and Whipped Cream with lots of Angel Flake coconut. YUMMM!) Everyone had fun, the food was delicious and there was something to talk about for the shyer ones! And the food was the present! No one coplained about a DIY birthday either.

I mean "of our children"

and "complained" -jeez where's autocorrect when you need it ;)

I, too, love the picture of that sprinkle cake! Confetti cake is my favorite :)

My birthday is January 2, so it's a bit tough to plan a party two days after new year's eve. My husband, boyfriend at the time, planned a small 25th party for me at a rooftop lounge, that ended with us in the emergency room......Since then we have been low key.

However, this year was my 29th birthday and we just moved to Chicago. I joined my birthday with NYE, and went to the Resolution Gala at Navy Pier with another couple- perfect!!

This past year was one of the first times I threw an actual Birthday Party for my 30th. I invited friends to bike to various brewery tours around town and then meet up at my favorite watering hole for a bottle share and grub. I was up front about any cost incurring, and it ended up raining, so the back up plan of leaning on the designated drivers kicked in. Those that couldn't dedicate the whole day to running around town were welcome to join in the evening at the pub (reasonable prices and laid back).

Normally, I throw a 3rd of July, Hey We Don't Have To Work Tomorrow, Beer Appreciation Gathering. It's 4 days after my birthday, but I rarely mention that to the people I invite. I just want to spend time with friends and it's a convenient day to host a gathering. I buy pizza dough, various toppings, and stock some beers. I invite guests to bring beer to share (or the beverage of their choice if they are not a fan), and a topping if they are really wanting something specific. The beers go into the coolers for all to partake, the pizzas are made as people get hungry and are shared with all as they are made. The only rules are that you must bring beverage to drink beverage, you must make food to eat food, and that you can't bogart your own provisions since it's all about sharing. It's always so much fun to see everyone bonding over tossing dough, trying new ingredients and learning about new beers.

I'll be moving back to this un-birthday party this year. I get too stressed about people not coming to a birthday party because it resides in that "special" event category and get my feelings hurt for no reason if people can't make it. However, if I'm just throwing a party, and not a birthday party, my psyche takes it a lot easier when people have busy lives and their own plans and can't make it.

Yes, I throw either a Sunday morning brunch party or Saturday evening cocktail party for myself every birthday. It is a great opportunity for various of my friends to meet each other, as I have friends from work, from the gym, from church, and from other activities. I do feel hurt when people can't make it, but, invariably, the people who do attend seem to have a lot of fun.

Also, I love to cook, so, like the original poster, make some nice food and serve good wine and some nonalcoholic drinks.

Birthday parties were a big deal as a child growing up. I had siblings, friends, family and neighbors come over to celebrate. Whether or not the parties were actually planned, my parents knew how to party on a whim. It didn't consist of renting out a place or hiring entertainment. Mom baked & cooked, dad was the DJ. Unfortunately, in my 20's and now 30's most of my parties consist of going out for lunch or drinks with a few close friends. I miss the closeness of having friends and family celebrate with me. The good thing is, my significant other and I share the same birthday (month, day AND year) so although we don't have parties, it's even more special to me because I have someone to share it with.