
I was sharing a thrift shopping excursion with a friend. She was responding with a series of disinterested "uh huhs" until I started telling her about the hanging lamp we'd found. Suddenly she became frantic, ripping through some clippings. Is it this lamp? In fact, it was exactly that lamp.
It feels like we've all been there. You're perfectly happy with your home and then you go to a friend's home or check out a House Tour or get invited to someone's place for dinner and they have a piece of furniture or a vase or a lamp that you know would change your life if you could only get one for yourself. So you ask them about it. Casually. Umm, hey, I was wondering where you got this? You're prepared for a high end store, something that you'll have put aside money for every week for the next two years and then they say something like, Oh, that? I got it from my grandmother OR I dunno, some store in Pasadena, I think OR I found it on the street OR there was a guy who was going out of business. And your heart sinks. You know that you will never ever ever be able to find something with the same beautiful lines and worn in patina as this and that if you even think of combing the internet for one (and you will, you will spend sleepless days and nights when you should be doing something productive, like work, dreaming up endless ways to describe this piece in the prosaic terms Google needs to find something), if you do find it, it will knock the price pants right off that pricey high end store.

I speak from experience. This has happened to me more than once. In fact, it's happening right now with this simple stool in the apartment I'm staying in. Yes, it's a Fritz Hansen dot stool smartypants but they don't make this one anymore. It has three legs, it has that foot rest, it's taller than the current models. And I want it. So, what am I going to do? Here's what I've found works:
Pin it up: Whether it's a folder at the front of a file cabinet, a box secreted away under your bed, out there for all to see on a Pinterest board or on a mood board that's over your desk, put a good picture of that item somewhere and describe which version you'd like. You're giving it over to the furniture gods who watch over Craigslist and street and thrift and charity and junk store finds and they have a lot of people who are clamoring for their attention so you want to be as specific as you can.
Be proactive: Just because you want it and you've pinned up a picture of it isn't enough. You have to do some work to find it but not obsess over it. Look without looking would be the Buddhist way of putting it. So check Craigslist every once in a while, stop in a thrift store if you happen to be walking by, troll the internet while you're stuck on a particularly boring and rote conference call.
Let your friends know: If one pair of eyes is good, more is better. But remember, this is your search not theirs. Often the lead or the finding of something you love will come from the most unexpected and random person in your extended circle of acquaintances.
Let it go: Go on with your life and embrace new experiences, new adventures and new places. One of them might just lead you to your dream furniture!
Be grateful: When that piece of furniture turns up (and it will), act graciously and, to keep your good karma going, give away something that you no longer need or want but that you know someone else could use. If you don't know anyone that wants it, sell it on Craigslist for cheap or donate it.
Oh, you may scoff. You may think that these suggestions are the woowoo product of someone who's live in LA for too long but I can say, without fail, everyone who's ever sat down to do this has gotten everything they wanted. Maybe not immediately, maybe not even in six months but eventually.
What do you want? Share it with us in the comments! Be specific!
First Image: The Brick House. This is the lamp that was at the center of my story. Second Image: Abigail Stone

Howard Butcher Bloc...
I feel like I run into this problem all the time with both stuff for my house and clothes! I def believe in karma ... it seems when I finally rid of something that I am not using, the universe presents what I have coveting (for that moment at least) to me. I am glad I am not the only one that feels this way!
oh to be specific ... i had a vintage frye vest ... it was fun but i could never cool off the leather vest look without looking totally foolish, just not my style ... i decided to trade it in at my local buffalo exchange and a few months later, at the same store i found a pair of frye boots for 50 dollars ... a pair i had wanted for years!
I really think there is something to this. I have had the same experience as Gloria where I find what I need as soon as I get rid of whatever I wanted to replace. I think being specific helps too.
Also, for me, taking my dad along! For some reason I always fing what I've been looking for when he's with me.
i think let it go is the best advice here. dear god a new stool will not change your life. try to be less of a consumer and be grateful for all the things you ALREADY have as opposed to being grateful every time you get something new.
I am currently suffering from this same malaise. Danger Man has two -- yes two! -- Mathsson Maria tables tucked away in storage. I'm feeling very much like a villainess in a Hitchock movie right about now.
I greatly respect spirituality. However, I think this kind of experience is less a spiritual thing than some kind of mental foreground-background perception thing. Opportunities are around all the time that we just don't notice until we happen to be focused so we can see them. Or, maybe that is spiritual, it depends on your definitions.
Tip #6: If you know of second-hand stores/antiques dealers, give them the picture of your beloved item, with your contact info and approximate budget on the back. They see LOTS more stuff than you'd be able to yourself and are often happy to do the hunting for you.
I think the Buddhist way of looking at it would be: "Don't get too attached."
It's just stuff.
I find that I tend to covet weird things that I can't quite get: my grandma's sewing table from the late 1800s. It's living at my mom's house until I have a place for it. Or the drafting table at my dad's place half way across the country...
But since these aren't things I need, I'm completely willing to be patient.
Oh, dear. Someone's been reading The Secret. And, yes, the universal laws of attraction combined with good karma really do bring the things we want. I just got my type case that way, just last week. Trust it, it works.
This is probably a silly question given the nature of the post...but - where can I get that bronze colored lamp?? I must have it!!
This has happened to me in the past with some catalog items that I had my eye on but that wound up being discontinued -- specifically, the Teresita candle wall panels (from Crate and Barrel), which I was going to put on the wall behind a dining table, and a Verona lamp (with the zinc exterior and the reflective mirrored inner shade), also from Crate and Barrel. I haunted craigslist and ebay for quite a while before giving up on those.
I wish the big catalogs would WARN people before they're about to discontinue an item -- say "stock limited" or "limited time offer" or something. It would help satisfy procrastinators like myself while also boosting their sales.
You can see the items here:
http://www.casasugar.com/Nice-New-Pottery-Barn-Verona-Floor-Lamp-2687882
http://www.shoptopia.com/product/40996
I lived with $5 garage sale outdoor chairs as indoor dining chairs for a year. I was waiting for the my ideal chairs to pop up at a second hand store/ eBay or similar. The cheapest that I could find them were at $500 each unpainted. Finally I gave in and bought leather chairs that my hubby and I agreed on. Then, a few months later...... FOUR matching chairs come up on eBay. Last that I looked the package was still under $500 for the lot.... We'd spent too much on the ones we have so we just couldn't justify it.... :( However, I have had success other times. My favourite was a painting that my Mum was given for her 21st. I have wanted it since.... birth! :) I decorated my home to perfectly suit the artwork and was able to convince Mum that it would be perfect in our home; and it is. Yes, perseverance pays off.
My gosh, I hope I never become that crazy over material objects. I met a lot of people from LA like that---such a turn-off. I mean, it's nice to have nice things, and especially things of quality that won't fall apart on you, but to obsess like that over stuff you don't have---sounds like a recipe for unhappiness to me.
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I have been lusting that lotus lamp forever.
Uh oh. Now I'm coveting that lamp!
I spent years mildly looking for some very specific rustic Mexican chairs at flea markets, thrift stores, craigslist, etc. my long term partner and I broke up, he moved out taking the Ikea chairs we were ‘making do with’. A few days later I went to Goodwill to pick up whatever chairs they had, and there they were, 2 of them, waiting for me off in a corner, and 50% off. First things I bought for my single living space.
Let it go, let it flow
I'm now glad I never bought that Noguchi coffee table. I'd still like to sit in a real womb chair just once, but there is a ton of stuff I coveted and then moved on, to the point that I can't recall some of it. Let it go.
That is so funny. That lamp was hanging over my parents dining room table until my mother closed down the house five years ago (it was originally hung in 1972). She took it with her, although I believe it is still in a box.
no truer words have been spoken. thanks for the reminder. do you think this works for housing?
Absolutely tell people in your life about the items you covet, especially the people who know you well when the request isn't specific. I have a wonderful Victorian cast iron bed that my mother got at an estate sale for 97 bucks. I'm so glad I told her what I wanted...I can't imagine a more perfect match!
Also, if you covet something (and again, if you know the person well) don't be afraid to let the owner of said object know you are interested. I traded a newer upholstered chair for a beautiful old Eastlake rocker that I had wanted for ages...and the owner of the rocker was looking for a chair for her bedroom.
This reminds me of a dress I pinned on Pinterest. It was a screencap from "Gidget Goes Hawaiian" and I said "I wish I had this dress!" Two weeks later my dad's new girlfriend heard I liked vintage clothes and gave me an old dress of hers that was the EXACT same dress. It was incredible!
Bellemode, absolutely! When we were looking, we saw some nice houses, but none were quite right. We decided to sit down and make a list of our "really wants" and our "must haves" and a few weeks later, we found the PERFECT house which had all but two things on the list (one was central air, which we weren't really expecting in an older house. The other was a gas stove, but we can change that later).
It was funny how we found it too, because it wasn't even on the market yet. They'd gotten a realtor, but we ended up buying it before it was even listed.
That very lamp hung over our stairway when we bought our house 25 years ago. We called it the inverted artichoke and couldn't wait to get rid of it. How funny to read others covet that which we were so eager to replace. That's how life goes.
I popped into an antiques store recently on a whim, in a part of town I rarely visit. There was the exact dining table & chair set that I'd been lusting after forever, and at about $1000 less than I'd ever seen it on sale. It had arrived only that morning.
Unfortunately I'm only working part-time at the moment and I couldn't afford it at all. I had to walk away. Sigh.
About a year ago, when I was at the hair salon, I saw black Paul McCobb desk in a shelter magazine. That desk had been in my room when I was growing up. My parents got rid of the desk about a million years ago. In the last few years I started coveting the desk. When I saw it, I ripped the page out of the magazine . Didn't know the maker or anything about it. I started looking for it on line, and found the desk (it was pictured in a SoHo loft). I told everyone how I wanted the desk and showed the picture to anyone who would listed. I called around and found that the dealer who sold the desk to the owners of the loft. It sold for $3000, way way beyond my price range. Started looking on ebay and saw a number of Paul McCobb desks--it was made in black or maple. I'm in Brooklyn, but the desks were all over the country--the problem with ebay is distance and shipping. Then looked on New York Classified at Apartment Therapy and found the desk--in Brooklyn (!), in maple (a much better choice for my bedroom), for $500 (just the number I had in mind). And I could pick it up in the stationwagon!
I had lusted over a Tiffany-type ceiling fixture, and eventually found one in just the right color to match my decor. When I had to move, I loaned it to a friend. She took it to Texas and at this point has never used it! Grrrrr!
My favourite scenario along these lines is, after months of obsessing, maybe having spmething available online (you look at it's gallery of three pictures every day!) but so expensive! So you wait and wait for a secondhand or vintage version to appear, or you consider paying huge amounts of money to have one on a slightly better size/version/colour shipped cross continent... but when you finally do come across it in some little shop, it's not that great, it's just a _____ after all. how could it possibly meet all your expectations? You don't want it anymore, but curiously you're left feeling way more liberated than disappointed.
My corner chairs from Anthropologie. I lost the catalogs, but I think it is the Pimlico chair? I can't even find a photo online! I ache for them, and I know that I will find them one day but tragically will be unable to take them home with me for whatever the reason, for that is our fate...
This works better if you live in Los Angeles than in a refugee camp in Somalia or Pakistan or a favela in Brazil.
You described the hunting and coveting sooo perfectly. It seems to happen just that way. Thanks for the tips.
Awww, I love all the self-righteous comments looking down their noses at you sprinkled in this post.
Because *I* would never even DREAM of looking at an inanimate object with any emotion AT ALL. My house is one room with a hot plate and a mat on the floor and a burlap sack I use a blanket, towel, and sometimes pants. In fact, it's not a house, it's a yurt.
... But maybe I could use that lamp. That's a damn fine lamp.
My mom and I call it "in one hand, out the other," and vice versa. Alas, we find it works in reverse as well though-- a cash windfall always guarantees an unexpected bill such as the dentist or a car repair! ;) Life balances out, mostly. And really, people, if you are going to make comments about materialism, refugee camps, etc., don't read Apartment Therapy. It's a home decor site, posts about "obsessing" about furniture are perfectly appropriate. We can be mindful of consumerism and still love beautiful objects.
Sigh- I did this with the Paolo Piva Alanda coffee table (B&B Italia, 1982). After scouring Google Images for "pyramid coffee table" I finally found it... out of production and on 1st Dibs for several thousands. Perhaps some day one will find it's way to me :)
Great post!
that funky hanging brass lamp is from Morgan at The Brick House!
Forget the lamp, where did you get the tapestry from that's hanging underneath the lamp?! Please help!
When Versace made the Red Medusa dishes I fell instantly in lust. I despaired of ever being able to afford them. A service for eight with all the serving pieces retails for more than $8000. I found a service for eight on Craigslist, with all the serving pieces, for $1200. The family was selling it as part of an estate sale. I still pinch myself every time I look at them.
Hey! Just saw that that lotus light is up on One Kings Lane for a few days -- priced at $799, though...
https://www.onekingslane.com/product/12787/614536