Good for you for doing with less. But do you really have to get permission from BF to get a recipe box?

The kitchen looks great, but I have to say I find it disturbing that your boyfriend won't allow you to get something as minor as kitchen jars, and that you have to "lobby" for a recipe box. I hope you're just exaggerating a bit to make the post more dramatic...

loved ur plants (assuming they are real)

I'd reorganize by chucking the boyfriend to the curb.

my husband and i discuss most of our planned purchases. it is just the way we deal with money. and we never fight about money. works out pretty freaking well for us.

we end up getting what we want...eventually. but since we have joint finances (a single income, a shared mortgage on two houses, 2 kids in private school, etc) we make joint decisions about when the best time to make a purchase is.

oh, and did i mention we have no credit card debt?

i think if the writer and the boyfriend are committed to the ideal of making do with less, then the recipe box thing can be read in the vein of being supportive of one another to really contemplate whether one needs that new purchase.

I like the idea of being accountable to someone else. It can really help one re-evaluate our decisions, how they impact others, and how they impact ourselves. Even something small like a container or recipe box can really add to the clutter. If you let 2 new things into each room of the house, that can be 10-14 items for a moderately sized apartment.

haha. yeah, chuck him.
instant space!

but seriously, you make a good point.
living with less is challenging but rewarding.
it really helps to not have storage space.
I have never had less storage space than in my current 600 sq ft live/work apartment and it's been good.
While finding room for things like my table saw, christmas tree, and snowboard is annoying (i keep them at our parents' places), most things we would typically store just aren't necessary.

for any item that comes in, something MUST go out.

I have spent $$$ on organizing stuff -- bins, jars, baskets, canisters, etc. -- only to find out, after doing some decluttering/moving stuff around, I didn't really need it. I recently managed to make my tiny kitchen more efficient just by moving things around, getting rid of a few things I didn't use, and repositioning the adjustable cabinet shelves -- didn't have to buy a thing.

In defense of the boyfriend, the kitchen is a shared space and that cranny looks pretty crammed as is. I think it's good that two people make the decision together, versus one coming home with a shopping bag and just adding unnecessary things to the environment willy-nilly. Obviously if it's needed, there's no discussion ... but it must not have been very important if one had to ponder the question aloud. I used to be a cluttery person, and could have used someone to keep me focused on my aesthetic and financial goals.

P.S. Is not buying something you don't need really living with less? I mean, I'm currently hosting a friend of mine. He lives in Mexico City. Mexico City is having a serious water shortage. So, when he saw me washing dishes under running water, he had a cow and promptly showed me how to hand wash dishes using much less water. To me, that was a lesson in living with less.

If both parties have vowed to live with less, and the BF is merely keeping her "on the wagon," then that's fine. But I've known women who had no autonomy in their homes, and whose men had convinced them that was "for their own good" because they couldn't do anything right without his help.

If you're both just trying to be green, good for you. But if you're scared of his reaction if you buy something as insignificant as a kitchen accessory without permission, that's not normal.

Lisa (Montreal), that's what I wondered about. If he gets to veto her purchases, does she get to veto his, or is it a one way street? If it's not equal, clean house by ditching him.

Poor poster and boyfriend! Is the main idea of this post to give relationship advice?

I thought the main idea was "reorganize your space and see what happens". I just did that with my tiny kitchen. I discovered a way to place items so that I could finally open my oven all the way, just in time for pie baking. (Previously I'd have to move the fridge and a cabinet to open it all the way.) The space works SO much better now and is even easier to keep clean. As an added bonus, it's so much easier now, that my husband actually puts stuff away where it belongs!

When we moved to New England, we lost 900 square feet plus a two car garage, along with all of our outdoor living space. So, yes, we have had to learn to live with less. It has been difficult, but it really has helped our living space not feel so cluttered. We still have some boxes to go through and some things to pare down on, but I believe overall, we've done a great job getting rid of things we don't really need! And I stay out of the stores that encourage me to buy MORE!

My theory is if it can in any way be described as a tchotchke (even if it also has a utilitarian purpose,) chances are you don't need it - or can use something else you already own instead. The main reason I break this rule is if it is an object that, unto itself, I just LOVE (i.e. will still be kicking myself years later for not getting it.) So, I guess I categorize: Want vs. Need vs. Love.

Yeah, guys - I'd say back off the relationship. She wrote in the vein of "this is how we raise the questions of what we really need."

I've noticed one reaction I have once I've pared down a space, is to suddenly see the possibility for putting something new in the void. Without my husband often reminding me, hey we got rid of "thing X" to free up that space, I'd refill it, and every few months have to get rid of more stuff. That is the antithesis of learning to live with less, and really only makes me MORE of a consumer, not less of one.

So hey, unless he's also telling her she's stupid, maybe BF is just doing his part in keeping them on the road they've chosen for themselves. We all need that from time to time.

Thank you Bee T...thinking just that as I read through the comments.

I agree with JefferyK, there's a big difference between paring down your excess stuff and truly living with less.

I don't think I really live with less. I don't have much extraneous stuff, because dealing with a lot of stuff makes me anxious. But I have pretty much everything I need.

And I do agree that people are generally much better served by getting rid of stuff than by buying more containers for their stuff.

I don't think that she's giving relationship advice at all. I do this sort of thing with my husband. We often use the phrase "you can't tell me what to do" as a joke, bc we are both just that stubborn. However, I often call him while I'm out shopping (or just ask when I'm sitting at home dreaming about two new containers for my kitchen!) to see if I'm buying something bc I want it or bc we actually "need" it. It's not like I need his permission, far from it! It's just that sometimes it's nice to have someone else keep you from making a mistake. Now, one jar isn't going clutter up the whole house. But, one person making that one jar mistake every month results in 12 things in your house that 1. you don't need 2. you wasted money on. Imagine now that you are both doing making that mistake. That's 24 pieces of crap and wasted money!

I had always read on AT about decluttering your house is a great first step to decluttering your life -- and for the most part, I thought that this was sort of silly and not for me. I never thought that I could actually live with less because I really thought that I did not have that much. But after actually purging my life of a lot of these "things" (and yes, sometimes I really have to remember that that is all that they really are, just things!), I really think that it has made a huge difference and am not looking back.

The impetus for such change was a move to a much smaller space (okay, and maybe an episode of Hoarders that really grossed me out). After really talking it over, we were able to see that the large space that we used to live in was itself too much--we wanted a simpler life with less stuff and and less space. To downsize and truly start living with less, we decided not to move all the chatchky home decor stuff, furniture that wouldn't serve multiple purposes, and all the knick-knacks that we didn't absolutely love. It took a couple weeks, a lot of work and letting go, but I had over a dozen trash bags full of things that were cluttering my life and my house including toiletries, linens, clothes, electronics, magazines, books and media, furniture, food, kitchen utensils, pots n pans, baskets, tools, sundries, cleaning supplies. I had no idea how much stuff I had that I didn't really use or need! So I put it to the curb and posted an ad on freecycle. Within an hour, ALL OF IT was gone. How liberating!

For the past three months, we have lived with significantly less "stuff" and space (from 3 bdr to 1). We have fewer of everything -- only the few pots and pans that we love, only the books we love and reread, only the art we love, only a few pieces of cutlery (rather than enough to feed an army like we used to have), only 1 television than 3, no d/w or fancy oven or w/d like we had before...--you get the point.

And contrary to the folks who are quick to criticize a relationship that they only have a sentence-worth of knowledge about, I'd like to submit the benefits of having external (the size of our space and my boyfriend) forces supporting and questioning my purchases with "Do you really need this?" "Do you really love this?" "Will it fit in our space?" "What kind of changes will this item bring to your life that you don't have right now?" Usually the answer to these questions trigger a logic that is absent in most of my impulse purchases and I end up putting down the item. Not only has this kind of support caused me to have less clutter and only purchase the things that I love, but it helps my bank account!

To all of you concerned about the BF "not allowing" me to get a recipe box... it's not that big a deal, this was simply an illustration about living more simply--each thing, as small and innocuous as it seems--is still a thing.

What I didn't let on to was that I have already peppered the tiny kitchen space with three baskets and two cake stands holding various fruits, veggies, etc... So like I said: this was just an illustration. Thanks for your concern!

And I posted that before I'd read through all your comments... You all seem very concerned about our relationship in regards to this one little box-in-the-kitchen discussion. Did those of you who commented about that happen to miss the "happier than I've ever been" part?

As a couple, we are clearly focused on simple and green living, and each decision we make (large or small) is something we do with joy together, and with great respect for one another. Heck, I'm a feminist! He's brought a lot of zen to my life and I'd never chuck him.

So quit pickin' on my boyfriend! :) He's the best there is!

sheesh lighten up people...is the boyfriend not entitled an opinion on how to use a shared space? My husband and I typically discuss purchases with each other, it doesn't mean either one of us is a bully!

I find waiting to buy something I feel I need sometimes reduces the need...wait a few months if you can and see if you really need it. That way you really get things you appreciate and use.

I say get rid of him. He seems like he is a bore anyway…haha

In the last couple of months, I've been thinking about why people keep lots of stuff around, and of course, different people have different reasons.

For me, I've found that my most dangerous sentence is, "It serves a purpose." As I've decluttered my life in recent years, I found that dumping the "tchotchkes" was easy. Now that those are gone, it's the "useful" things I'm finally starting to question, and I've realized that when find myself saying "it serves a purpose," I'm usually rationalizing keeping/buying something I don't really need. Now, as soon as those words enter my mind, I definitely think twice!

I think it can be useful for us to think about what words are our own triggers, and use those to help shape our behavior.

I've lived pretty much on the "living more on less" philosophy for a while, especially going it on my own for a while now. I always try to reuse things I already have at the house, or by reorganizing (and donating or throwing away stuff) really helps out on space and pocketbook.

Living without TV may seem a bit 'extreme' but it's pretty easy after a few months---and really, is there anything actually worthwhile to watch nowadays? That was the first thing I eliminated after buying a house 5 years ago. We just use the antenna for local channels/news, and watch DVD's instead. Also, disconnecting the house phone and using the cellphone as the main line and keeping the internet service for staying in the loop on news, etc. and free streaming media (e.g., Hulu).

It helped cut our expenses a lot.

I'm a confirmed minimalist, dedicated to maintaining simple and uncluttered spaces, devoted to the idea of having the absolute fewest number of things while still meeting my needs. I have to say it's odd to see everyone jump on the party who wants LESS, as if the other person's desire for MORE is a birthright that overrides any acknowledgement of the non-cluttery person's needs. I don't see the conversation and agreement to limits as a power struggle, I see it as respecting one partner's need for simplicity as need equally as valid as the desire for more stuff.

I live very happily in a tiny place with very little that is not either used often or loved and it suits me perfectly. Being green / responsible and living within my means (and square footage) is important to me but I won't judge others who see it differently - lots of acceptable degrees I think.

We live in a one-room home with a vaulted ceiling, skylights, arched windows, recessed lighting and heated floors.

A luxurious sofabed and equally comfy chair are our only pieces of furniture. We store our minimalist wardrobes and possessions in baskets beneath the furniture. The baskets are easy to transport to the top of the furniture, to pick up the room, to do laundry, etc.

We use the furniture to sleep, lounge, study, dine and entertain. We frequently sit on the floor. We eat with our plates in our laps and study with our computers in our laps. We keep tote bags nearby for a few extra items and to store our computers.

We have a tiny kitchenette where “everything” is stored away. Limited kitchen items are stacked, behind a small set of curtains, beneath the kitchen sink. Eating and cooking utensils are kept in a single basket for easy transport. Rather than a dish drainer, dishes are dried on kitchen towels - towels are then dried on hooks under the sink.

We use a portable stovetop, one-pot recipes, an under-counter fridge and under-counter washer/dryer. Rather than a counter top, large cutting boards are on top of the under-counter appliances. Another large cutting board fits over the entire kitchen sink area - to hide dirty dishes and create a continuous counter area. Our under-counter kitchen has arched windows across the entire working area, which is very pleasant.

In the bathroom, we have a tiny corner sink without a vanity, a shower and large arched window adjacent to the toilet. Towels are stored on hooks over the toilet and also near the shower and sink. Tissue paper and covered cosmetic baskets are stored on the back of the toilet. Shampoo, soap and shavers are stored in the shower. A full-length mirror is on the back of the bathroom door along with a clothing hook.

A washer/dryer makes it convenient to clean our limited linens and clothing at any time. We use the washer / dryer as a hamper. I have a swivel sweeper. I wash windows, walls and floors by frequently rinsing a rag in the sink. I use one multi-purpose cleanser or soap. Buckets, mops and paper towels are not needed.

Our one-room home is "very" spacious - with lots of arched windows overlooking a changing forest and sky. We frequently rearrange the furniture to observe different outdoor scenes. Curtains are not needed. We have a few favorite decorations on the walls or window sills.

We keep folding lounge chairs and a screenhouse in the trunk of the car. We place them in different far-away areas on our property to escape and enjoy picnics. On hot summer nights, we've also slept over several times.

We do not need a separate bedroom, dining room, office or loft. We do not use shelving, cupboards, closets, bureaus, desks, tables or lamps. All media has been replaced with a computer. We shop weekly on our way home from our part-time jobs.

Hope this helps others...