One thing that has really helped us take it slow--we have a pretty tidy art collection. My mom started buying prints for us kids when we were in our teens; we got a good limited edition print by a (usually local) artist each Christmas and birthday (and luckily, my mom has good taste in art and good knowledge of her kids' tastes). And my husband and I have been buying local works every place we've lived, since we got together in college. So even when we have moved cross-country with little furniture, we have always had a good art collection, which really gives life to any home, and helps us be patient as we develop the rest of the house.

I've spent the last year living in my parent's house, after they both passed away, with most of my stuff in storage. It's been a battle, moving their stuff into siblings and grown children's hand, to the thrift store/consignment shop, yard saling it or giving it away to neighbors.
First, I've lived with only my most favorite things, and second, whatever is in boxes has now been out of my sight for a full year. When I reopen the boxes these things will either be sorely missed and welcomed back, or they'll have to move on. I can't keep everything so this kind of slow detachment will help me to whittle down. Maybe it's the opposite of decorating slowly, many of these things have been with me for forty years.

Your statement about how you thought you knew your style, when it was really the style of all the magazines you looked at, really hit home.
I have only recently discovered that I love looking at:
minimal, Japanese style
easy, breezy beach style
Bare, spare Swedish style
quirky, lucite and metal style

..to mention a few.
But now that I've moved and downsized, keeping the furniture, rugs and decor that I LOVE, it turns out I'm Great Granny chic!

almost all my furniture is 19th century solid wood. Most of it authentic. Now I'm taking it very very slowly in arranging and adding to my things.

I think it depends on what slow means. My friend is so slow that 12 years after she moved into her dream home, she still has an empty socket (complete with wiring) in her impressive and dramatic but otherwise lightless entry way.

But in terms of decorating, I have found that slow and steady wins the race. If you want to have a home that's truly well integrated, it does take time. Otherwise, you'll likely end up exhausting yourself and your bank account. And end up with a catalog look, never great.

Also, now that I'm in my late 30s, I can look back and realize I've gone through many style changes and phases. By keeping things evolving and NOT doing everything at once, I've found that I can more easily integrate new things as my style naturally evolves. It doesn't feel awkward and I don't feel guilty if I want to change something out after five or ten years. It helps to edit, in other words. And everything sort of looks like it belongs.

great advice! i've followed this tip as well, though i'm a renter which i think makes it easier to follow.

i have a broken floor lamp, leftover from my college days, propped up in my living room's corner. a recent dinner party guest asked why i "don't just get an IKEA lamp?" sadly, i think that's the though many people have in their homes. i'm waiting, even if i've been looking for almost two years. better for my wallet + the environment!

jessica
http://www.jessicafulkerson.blogspot.com/

Prior to discovering Apartment Therapy I don't know how I lived in my home. I loved to be there, but it wasn't warm and it didn't make me happy. Furthermore, I was so afraid to make a bold decision I would regret, that I lived with a bunch of boring decisions I actually did regret.

So when I moved I got rid of every last one of them. (While simultaneously trying to pay off my credit card). when I made the list of furniture that I was giving away or selling, my boyfriend got nervous and tried to talk me out of it. Too bad I was already quite committed to my decision. :)
My home's evolution can be seen on my flickr page: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8644829@N02/sets/72157623355402321/

This is how I did it. (Because I am a nerd). I used the 8 week structure of Apartment Therapy to keep myself from getting off track. I started the year with 8 weeks of DT. Then I assigned 8 week intervals on one room remedies. I buy what I can afford, what I find and determine to be the most important for the room and if I'm not done by the end of the "cure", too bad, I move on.
So far I've done my 8 week "DT", The living room, 4 week "Kitchen Cure", The Bedroom, 4 weeks of attention paid to the bathroom, Now I'm kind of working on my hallway, if you see the pictures you'll understand why.

I remember an old (I mean REALLY old - when their furniture was much better quality) Ethan Allen catalog that showed how one could start with a few pieces and, adding over time, one could eventually have a fully-furnished home - but along the way, the spaces didn't appear empty or lacking...
...then a few years back, there was a showhouse sponsored by eBay where they had designers select every single item for their rooms off eBay.

I've used both as inspiration in my own home - allowing objects to come in and out, adding over time, and not restricting myself to mainstream catalog items.

I think the hard part for me is not going slowly. That tends to happen pretty naturally when you're on a tight budget. It's the steady part. I moved into my current apartment about two years ago and started putting together my bedroom. Before this, I'd lived in dorms or studio apartments so I mostly started from scratch.

I have a pattern. I find something I love, often from craigslist, that needs work. I start to work on it, but get bogged down by something challenging like snapped wires lodged inside chandelier arms or badly damaged veneer that can't be repaired. And the item sits in the garage for a while until I finally learn what I need to know to fix it up correctly. I start hunting for the next find and begin all over again. Right now I have a vintage metal headboard that is about 2 inches narrow than my bed frame and I'm balking at paying $25 for brackets that will compensate for the difference. I'm the kind of person that always has to have a project, but I frustrate myself when projects drag on and on. On the plus side, I rarely end up with impulse purchases I hate, because the blood, sweat and tears that goes into everything cements a very strong bond!

What is the eight week "DT"?

By nature, I am a slowly-let-the-space-speak-to-me kind of person. However, being a military wife, I do not have the luxury of spending a couple years settling in. By the time I completely figure out a space, it's time to pack up and move. I've had to evolve into a speak-to-the-space-right-away kind of person! Usually, I end up somewhere in the middle. Rearranging my spaces monthly... or if I'm completely honest, weekly.

I think this is a great practice in many ways, but I've often done dumb things like buying one table lamp when I ought to have bought two, or buying bedroom curtains only to find months later that the bedding I'm really interested in won't match. I think my budget necessitates continuing this practice, but there are some benefits to creating an overall plan for a room and executing it in a tighter timeframe.

After buying an IKEA dining set when I was newly engaged and low on cash that I quickly regretted getting, I have been in the "take your time" camp. That certainly doesn't mean that I never buy on impulse (I shop at flea markets a lot, which obviously means that you can't think about a purchase too long since it might be snatched up by someone else), but it does mean that I mull over big purchases for several months (or even years in some cases) to gauge whether my love is fleeting or likely to last.

http://lavalotti.wordpress.com/

"...my love is fleeting or likely to last." That's a HUGE statement in home furnishing! I think it's a great guide if you can see something you love, walk away from it, see it again a few weeks/months later and still love it.
Of course it won't work for flea market, eBay or Craigslist purchasing but it's a great guideline if one has the privilege of time.

Budget has been a big factor in letting my style evolve gradually. My husband and I moved into our house in spring of '09 with a specific home improvement/decorating budget. We prioritized our projects, making sure the needs (like fixing some electrical issues) got done before we took care of our wants (my dream of fixing up our ugly, yet functional, laundry room has yet to be realized). When we spent the initial "home improvement fund" we waiting until we saved enough money to move on to the next project. This meant we had to wait 14 months to put a set of recliners in the den, but we managed to get extremely nice ones on clearance at less than half their original price. We LOVE them and will probably keep them much longer than if we had bought cheap, crappy ones that we didn't love just for the sake of having seating in the den.

Removing wallpaper and painting all the rooms right away was a must though. Technically it was a want, not a need, but it is SO much easier to paint an empty house. And it's easier still if you bribe your friends and family with pizza and a keg. ;-)

I think if you a) have a limited budget, and b) only purchase things you truly love and want to live with for a long time, slow and steady will come naturally.

I'm on the "Do the Best you can Right Now" team. I solidly know my own taste and my partner's. I evaluate our needs and figure out what items we need to live with, in rather excruciating detail. (For TV watching in our small living room, we needed a small sectional sofa. It needed to have a chaise section for me and a recliner chair for him, plus one seat between so it would be long enough for him to nap on if he chose. It needed to be easy care for our pets, neutral in color, it needed to be comfortable, and it needed to be affordable. We got sage green microsuede. It's not the elegant, structured, mid-century look I might pick from a catalog, but it works for us perfectly.)

If you analyze what you need, get what you can find quickly and upgrade when you can, you can be comfortable and have a lovely home while developing the perfect furnishing collection as you go.

We have a kitchen counter that cantilevers for a breakfast bar. We want beautiful counter stools. But honestly, we probably won't REALLY ever sit there. I found some perfectly respectable birch bentwood stools at a thrift store for about $7 each. They match the cabinets (and my Jake chairs from Room and Board), and they are fine for now. If/when I find some truly gorgeous sculptural stools that are comfortable and don't get in the traffic flow, I can sell or donate these. Meanwhile, we have a "proof of concept" to try out.

I am a designer and decorator. I have lived in my current place for about 9 months now without a sofa. As I am so busy working on making other people's homes beautiful, my own has had to wait. I have hung most of my art, my kitchen and bathroom are fully functional, but the spaces where I eventually would like to entertain, just simply have to wait.

My clients are so quick to fill their houses with STUFF! my last 3 clients sold their previous homes with all their furnishings. By the time I come into the picture, they are packing their art and personal items and moving to giant empty houses.

Usually the husbands are anxious to "get it done" the wives want to nest and create a space... go figure! Try planning better next time please!!! Italy is closed right now for holiday and lead times are 20 weeks. Not EVERYTHING can be purchased off the floor.

A couple of years ago, my taste was all shabby-chic and off-white. I was forced to decorate slowly because I was broke! I found a mid-century modern china cabinet on craigslist for $75 and brought it home. Luckily it was one of my first purchases, because it revolutionized my aesthetic. Now my house is full of vintage and funky, even colorful things that I love!

veslabeachgirl, I am in the same boat. Thinking of it as "reverse decorating" made me smile. Thank you!