We found this as well at the Home & Housewares show in Chicago (this is not a joke):

"What is clean? Clean is how you feel after an evening bath, a morning shave, a new haircut. Clean is soothing--it's feeling completely fresh.

Finally ... an alternative to dry toilet paper, wet wipes or wetting with water. Toilet Paper Foaming Cleanser is a quick, easy to use, and economical way to feel completely clean. Infused with aloe vera and moisturizers, it cleans thoroughly without alcohol and irritation. Fragrance-free, rinse-free and convenient."