Each take a room, and it's totally yours. For example, you do the dining room, he does the living room, etc. If your design styles are similar, there should be no conflict with the aesthetic flow in the house.

We send each other links off Pinterest and Google images to help convey our ideas. Usually, when you get to see that someone else has done something you like, you're more inclined to think it will work for your own space, too.

After spending months just picking out a paint color for the living/dining/kitchen area I'm not looking forward to the bedroom. The worst part is the paint color we ended up with is a boring (to me) greige. Feels like when 2 people with opposite styles try to come to an agreement on something the result ends up being the most inoffensive, bland, boring choice possible.

I did get one bedroom to do whatever I wanted, so that was cool (and that sh*t is PURPLE!)

For big projects, we send each other links off Pinterest until we get a good enough idea of what the other person is envisioning to draw up a plan. (This mostly applies to building a house, so... LOTS of links). \

For smaller things, though, he tends to think I'm crazy, go along with it, and then say it looks awesome and I was right. It's very satisfying to hear. :)

With an open mind, patience, a sense of humor, and willingness to compromise.

I ask for forgiveness instead of permission. If I want to make a change to the apartment, no matter how tiny, and I ask my husband about it, he will argue to DEATH, absolute death and murder and mayhem. But if I just go ahead and do it myself, he never really notices that anything has changed at all.

Fortunately, we have very similar taste in terms of styles and colors and such. The only real battle we have is clutter - I'm no minimalist, but I don't think every object we own has to be displayed at all times. He needs everything out all the time, which makes me feel like I live in a pawnshop. So I do a lot of decluttering and boxing things up whenever he's out of town.

Yes, it's sitcom-y and immature to do things this way, but it works.

Honestly, the best thing is not to be too stubborn about a particular thing or style and not to care too much about it. It is such a trivial part of life, you know? The bigger issues matter and worth arguing about, but not this.. Just talk about it like grown-ups and either accept you may not like it as much as your partner does, or continue looking for something you both can agree on. My partner and I both have the same taste: comfortable, practical, ecclectic and antique. We searched for basic items together, such as a bed, sofa/couch and dining chairs, and looked on our own for particular stuff, such as a desk, sidetables, closets, bookcases. We gave eachother room for eachothers preferences, you shouldn't think you have to 'design' everything together. A house also comes together over time anyway, as your taste evolves and your budget perhaps grows. You'll need time to find our what fits in your routine and lifestyle aswell. If you really can't agree on an a particular type of furniture, just put it off or buy a secondhand substitute for in the mean time.

When my ex-wife said she wanted a divorce, this was one of the silver linings.

Each take a room! But reserve a veto power (limit the umber of times you can use it per room).
I mostly do all our design, but my husband has veto power if he really doesn't like something. So I can do what I want (we have similar taste) but he still has a say when it really matters to him. And when I want to involve him it's easy; I just showed him 9 light fixtures, he gave 2 the thumbs down and I'll chose among the rest.

Hat on the bed! I guess those people aren't superstitious.

I am the most design oriented in my relationship, but my partner does still care, so often, like when we needed to buy a sofa, I did the research, found some that I liked and were in the budget and presented them as options. He picked the one he liked best and we went to the store together to verify and purchase. Most of the time, he just has a general veto option if I'm getting too far out there because he doesn't care as much as I do, but does still care. I'm more urban/boho/ecclectic, and he's kind of straight up traditional, so I've had to tame down some things to suit our life together, but he's allowed me enough elbow room to still be happy with what we have put together so far.

Or do just the opposite! Since you both are designers let each of you design part of the appartement for the other one who will be the "client". This way you will please your other half and do it your way at the same time. Quite a challenge isn't it?

I am currently going through the same process and my boyfriend is also a tidy man who can put my cooking to shame. We are just beginning the decorating process and both of us have already had to make some compromises. What I have done is pick the handful of items or ideas that I truly want and let him know that I would really like to keep these. Be ok with letting the other things go! It is important to be aware of the items he is attached to as well. We recently replaced a cute little picture of the Eiffel Tower that I had hanging on a wall with his favorite band’s concert poster.
I am a little spoiled because my boyfriend has great taste and his mom is an interior designer, but be excited about his items too! My boyfriend has an old picture of his dad on the beach in the 70s and I can’t wait hang it on the wall.
Good luck!

When we first married, 6 months to agree on a door mat. Double digit years later, pins, furniture ogling together. Comfort trumps style, durability is as important as comfort.We also noticed having a wider circle of stores to look in helped. Part of the original issue was money and not wasting it along with visualization.
With this home, our old items were at end of life and wouldn't fit.
We compromised on some pieces, or just admitted one of us really didn't hate any options presented. Our style has grown together. Oddly, some quirky sticking points for me were actually minor structure details which I subconsciously repeated in furniture in those rooms.
(circles and curves)
We both had the same request for the only white room in our house- color in accessories. Rug is a rainbow of colors and was spendy, but we both like it. Rug shopping involved looking online and alcohol. [There are some truly hideous rugs out there.] We saw the rug series we liked in a local store.Turns out the previous owners painted that room white so it wasn't a cave in winter. It has only a skylight as a window.
Our kitchen has bare walls away from cooking surfaces, so we could do artwork. We tried every decor store around and everything looked the same, but all at different price points. An online search yielded spousal favorite beverages in prints. I liked some of those options too. He narrowed down the choices before I ordered. Once they arrived, we had them matted and framed locally. Both of us like those.

I do offer the option now of contributing feedback to seasonal decor. Sometimes I get a response. Seems to be mostly that I offer the option of feedback and he can contribute when he wishes.

Pinterest does help see possibilities, as does magazine pages, etc. If you include the price on the pinterest posts to remind yourself, that helps even more. Funny to notice the trends you didn't know you liked.

Off to work on our latest Pinned collaboration.

It's all about making compromises for what is just decorative in exchange for functional pieces. My fiancé doesn't know much about color coordination and such but he cares a great deal about use of space. You don't have to use every single item they own, put away what you can't find a place for into storage, maybe it might be useful in a larger home where a man can have an entire room dedicated to his interests. Work together on various furniture positions but remember it must be practical. Find a way to blend the two rooms so that each of you are happy, maybe paint one wall darker for him, make a sacrifice!

Wow, I feel lucky - he just doesn't care as long as he has a comfortable place to sit, and enough light! The only time that I bring him in is when I need to talk price with a salesman - it pisses me off to no end, but the truth is that he does not have to say a word - simply having a Y chromosome on my side of the table instantly makes the price drop and all of the little "extra" charges evaporate...I hate that this happens, but I bite my lip and do it, because in the end, it's money left in my pocket!

I really enjoy making decor decisions jointly with my husband. We like sharing a hobby and when it comes to something so important like creating a home together, there's nothing more lonely than doing it by yourself. I feel like when one person makes all of the decisions and the other person doesn't have a say, or doesn't care, that they don't get to see a home take shape, only a house with items and objects. Particularly when the person is focused on price. It's not to say we need to throw caution to the wind, but part of building your home life together is all of those challenges you get to face together.

People who treat me like I'm a pushover or have no idea what I'm talking about because I'm a woman are put on my list of people I don't recommend to my friends and family. And any company that gives me a higher price or thinks they can bully me into paying more just because I don't have a man on my side of the table can take a hike. They also don't get any recommendations from me.

I don't. I am the King of my domain.
Occasionally, I delegate design and decorating projects to my subjects and allow them to do what they want as long as I can shut the door.
I am a benevolent despot.

We share an aesthetic, and have a lot of the same dreams and wishes for the "perfect" house. Fortunately tho, we don't have a vision that's exact enough that we're fighting over every detail needing to be perfect.

For example, we both like sofas with rounded arms, fairly high arms, 3 cushion seats, and a fairly traditional look. But neither one of us is 100% committed to an exact design. There are a lot of sofas that fit that general look, so the next step is to find some samples to sit in. For allergy reasons, we've also got a mild preference for leather over fabric, and that does narrow things down rather... but by itself it's nowhere near enough :). It's still a huge amount of design territory, and there are scads of options.

A more contentious example is our shower curtain. We agree that a certain block printed curtain is gorgeous, but $70 and dry clean only is not acceptable. So far we haven't managed to find a washable design that strikes us both as equally pretty. We can agree easily tho that washable is a very important trait in a shower curtain, and that it's better to do without a pretty curtain until we can find a compromise.

Our current construction project is a bit trickier. We've been gradually changing the floors in our condo from ancient carpet to professionally installed engineered hardwood that mitigates some subfloor issues. Then we add customized trim and built in furniture as required. We're agreed that the current room needs a window seat, but that means we've got to design one, and build it to fit our tastes AND build it to fit the demands of the room.

We spend a lot of time looking for win/win solutions in other words. And we're very practiced at doing without until we find the thing where we both agree.

Listen and compromise. It's pretty much the same answer for any question about how to have a good relationship.

40+ years together here - when you are building a space together, it's about building a life together. It's not really about decorating, it's about how you jointly make every decision, from the smallest to the biggest: what to have for dinner; what to do on Saturday; where to go on vacation; how to spend time with friends separately and together etc.The way you negotiate those decisions is the same as the way you negotiate decorating decisions. All the ways listed above work for some couples. the most important thing is that you both feel that there is fairness and balance in your life together.

For us it's very fluid. One person suggests, the other says 'yes' or 'no'. If 'no', there's a discussion. It finally comes down to what their objection is and how strong their objection is. I would do something he hated if it was really important to me and less important to him. He would be a good sport because he knew it meant that much to me. If he still really hated it in 3 months, I'd probably let go and try something different. However, the next time he wanted to do something I hated, I'd feel it was my turn to be a good sport.

The best design, the most sophisticated and interesting designs, always have some surprises and complexity and the easiest way of getting there is to have two different viewpoints informing the decision making.

Like Scannerjockey, I pretty much do what I want when my husband isn't around to resist change, and then he has no problem coming home to find the kitchen a different color, etc. I wouldn't surprise him with anything expensive or irreversible, however. For my compromise, I keep quiet about his one thing - arranging the living room around a giant flatscreen, a surround sound system and a huge electronic drum set. It looks like hell, but I agreed with him that I'd rather us both be happy and be able to spend time there together, than relegate his stuff (and therefore him) to a separate room of the house. I'm more concerned with my relationship than what visitors think about our electronic crap. Mostly. ;)

Finally someone else admits to redecorating when no one is looking! I was beginning to think I was a weirdo.

How do you settle decor disputes?

Fisticuffs.

Oooooohhh after looking for dining chairs this weekend (together) I'm not looking forward to making too many more design decisions. My husband's a better cook too, sure, but I cook every day and he does once every month -- so the kitchen's MINE. For shared spaces, sometimes you give, sometimes you take. Marriage is amazing as long as you don't kill each other.

I like a lot of decor styles; my husband doesn't like as many but everything he likes, I usually like, and everything I hate, he usually hates. So all I have to do is stay away from the "I love it and he hates it" category, which includes things like all white walls, everywhere, or filling every corner with thrifted kitsch and crafts I saw on pinterest. (It's easy for right now, but when we buy a house, or heaven forbid actually try making all the decisions on building a forever home someday, I'm sure it will be another thing entirely.)

Don't think of this a conceding, but have an honest talk with yourself about what compromise means. Make a list of what's important to your design concept and prioritize them. Ask him to do the same and see where your interests overlap. If design concepts such as "organic" or "minimalist" are too definite, agree first on how you want the room to feel when you enter it.

Pinterest is a good suggestion, and lists have always been helpful to me. Good luck!

the early years can be tough! I once 'accidentally' broke a CD shelf my husband loved but i hated.But after 15+ years of co-habitating I'd say, don't rush. If you aren't agreeing on something, find an area you can move forward and go with that, while mulling over each other's ideas. Try to say yes more than you say no, but don't settle for something that's going to make you unhappy. Sometimes a side benefit of waiting it out a little is I realize I actually don't care about X that much and by giving in there I'll be able to have a little bargaining power when it comes to Y which I do care about. Also, don't ever shop or plan hungry!

The guys I know don't care what the design/decor is as long as their needs for sleep, food and sex are met. Must be a generational thing.

Ask each other why you were okay with the move-in furniture but not your individual likes. What does he object to? Too girly? To bright? What do you object to with his choices? My boyfriend and I had to do this - sit down and talk about your aesthetics. Figure out what each of you can live with. Then when you're surfing the web, send your boyfriend a picture of furniture you think HE would like, and he should send you pics of furniture YOU would like. Eventually you can sit down and choose pieces you both like.

Hat off the bed! NOW!

It's like naming a baby, right? Sort of? Best advice I ever heard about that was that the baby is both of yours, so keep looking until you find a name that makes both of you happy. My Hband and I had a minor squabble over dining chairs and, by watching and waiting, we were able to find the PERFECT chairs that both of us love. Wouldn't have happened if I'd thrown my tantrum and got my way.

I moved with my boyfriend a year ago and even if the experience has been a great success the whole decoration part had been delicate to handle especially the first couple of months. I am all about modern and splashes of colors and he does not really have a style and likes to keep ugly old furniture that I am not allowed to re-purpose or throw away.

I found out that not pushing an idea but suggesting it at several occurrences was allowing a smooth transition to acceptance. ;) And finding/negotiating a compromise that make you both happy is key!!

I ended up painting part of wall in red and he got to keep is old lazy boy that I covered with a new sheet!

Good luck in you decoration journey, it is fun!!

We ar in a very small space (900sf!), with a pair of polar-opposite teenage girls, & operating 3 businesses in the same space. We both place a very high priority on comfort & functionality, but the footprint matters, as does trying to stick to multi-purpose items. He leaves most of it to me, because he knows I'm already facing some serious challenges, but (especially if it's something he will be using often), I also check with him about specific features he migh want, prefer, or tha just please him, regardless of the other features.

Placement of furniture is all about use & flow for both of us. Aesthetics are impotant to us, but are frequently trumped by function.

@ ScannerJockey - I have the same husband! Most of the time he doesn't notice anything that I've done or changed unless it effects him directly! He doesn't have a favorite chair, doesn't come home to flop on the sofa & turn on the TV. We don't have a TV, so he comes home to flop on the sofa & turn ME on! LOL! (To everyone who complains that their marriage is stale & lacks spontaneity take my advice: Lose the TV, gain a human!). So, unless I've moved something major, he never notices until later if I've hung a new piece of art, or changed out the pillows on the sofa, etc. However, if I ask him about his opinion first, then I have to listen to it & abide by it. He does play the Latino King of the Castle, but all smart Latina Queens know how to get what they want done by letting him think it was HIS idea! If I pick 2 things I really like I will say to him: "What do you think? I am favoring the blue", to which he will respond: "No, the green is better" (which was actually my favorite choice to begin with!). Win-win. I've offered this advice to many of my non-Latina friends who complain that they can never get their husband/boyfriend to participate or that he puts on demands. Truth is he usually has either no interest whatsoever, or just doesn't want to get into an argument over throw pillows & curtain styles. There are much big issues weighing on his mind: who's going to win the futbol match, who did he loan that power tool to, spinners on the wheels or no?..." So, always let him think it was his idea so he can make a decision & move on. Always narrow your own choices down to 2 or 3. Secretly pick your top favorite(s), but offer to him that your favorite is the last one. Nine times out of ten he will choose the one that is your favorite. Even if he surprises you & agrees that the "blue one" is better, you know you can't go totally wrong because you DO like it even if it wasn't your top choice. Then you can alter it up to make it more appealing to you. Eventually he will forget about it (a Latin King makes His decisions & moves on, never lingers, dwells, or second guesses himself!) & you can change it to what you really wanted to begin with! He won't notice, but if he does ask simply say "Ah, it got dirty/stained/didn't fit/your mother hated it..." He will sagely nod & admire you for staying on top of these trivial home things while he's out slaying dragons & overthrowing other kingdoms. The "your mother hated it" works every time. He would NEVER dream of arguing with his mother's choice, let alone question her about it, and he will admire you for respecting his mother's opinion. This is "old school" for sure. But think about it: Those old school marriages did last until death did they part. The woman did really know that though the husband believed he was the King of the Castle, it was really SHE who ran the show.

With my last boyfriend, it was impossible. Impossible.
He had ugly, old furniture that he dumpster-dived for, weird, ugly sculptures (I love sculptures, but these were just hideous). One of them was just the worst thing. It was a baby doll on the top of a standing pole, wearing a maternity dress and a felt hat. When you pulled a cord, its head lit up. Every time I saw it, I just wanted to cry. He would not get rid of it. I would seriously have let a pack of wild dogs into the house to shred that thing.
Plastic dino head on the wall - and not the cool kind. It was one of those McDonald's happy meal toys dino puppets nailed into the wall - wearing a batman mask and holding a garter. I kid you not.
He was always claiming to have good decorating taste. When my sister would come over, she would not sit on the furniture without a blanket under her - it was that gross looking.
There was no solving that design mess. Now I live in a small one bedroom apartment, and it is minimalist/industrial and a little bohemian. It's pretty nice not having to see that baby doll lamp.