Over the last several weekends we've attended quite a few birthday parties and baby showers. It seems that the new rage is to go less on the gifts and more on the decorations, making everything photo fabulous. But we can't help but wonder if the money spent on all those matching water bottles and color coordinated snacks on the buffet line couldn't be going towards something your kids will remember a little more?
So let's say you spend $20 on water bottles and then you make new labels for them to match your cupcake color — which also happens to match all the linens and serving ware. And then you buy 15 different snakcs that are all the same color to make a dessert buffet that is all monochromatic to make for the most awesome pictures ever. When all is said and done, you're bound to be several hundred dollars in the hole, money that could have been spent going on a trip, to a local museum and buying something really cool from the gift shop or even on redecorating their entire bedroom!
This isn't to say we're not in favor of a super rad get together with all sorts of fun decor. We just happen to be more of the school of thought where things are handmade on the cheap, where you do what you can with what you have!
Where do you draw the line when it comes to the budget for birthday parties and baby showers? Do you live by the philosophy that more is more and you only live once? Or are you more of a minimalist and would rather put your pennies to use on something other than decor? How much do you expect to spend each time an event of this nature comes up? Let us know in the comments below!
**Writer's Note: Maybe it should have been clarified above, that I'm not into telling families how to have a good time and how to spend their money.
My question was more about how handmade, homemade unique and individual parties have all started to look the same and because of the internet, it seems that even though parties are all different, they're starting to feel the same. Like there's a standard for parties now where there wasn't before.
That said, I still love checking into photos and all the styles that everyone creates, it just seems that sometimes the internet and magazines create a pressure to rise to this new type of party.
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For my daughter's birthdays I am always low key. I make a simple box cake, add rainbow sprinkles, and an extra sheet cake if I'm having a lot of people. As far as decorations, I buy some balloons & crepe paper. I *might* buy cute paper plates if they're on clearance at Target. The kids play with the balloons, the crepe is torn to shreds, cake is smushed on faces; but everyone has fun. Besides, it's not like I'm going for the cover of Birthday Party Magazine or anything!
I love a good birthday party and have personally spent a lot of time and effort on my children's birthdays but lately I've been feeling like so many of the parties (especially in the blog world- which I love) are so styled that they don't seem authentic anymore! And it also seems as if they are all starting to be very much the same! I love a homemade party because it's homemade. I will, however, always enjoy getting the ideas and seeing the beautiful pictures of everyone's parties!
This is kinda funny because you're making fun of the people who read this blog AND seem to go to this extreme just for the sake of having those awesome party photos. If your honest intentions are to have great "Look at me" photos for your facebook account or to submit to blogs like this one then the money you spend is worth it.
But kids seriously don't care about super coordinated parties.
I truly wish we could steer clear of the topics that can lead to judgement on the choices parents make for their kids that truly bring no harm to anyone. I love beautiful picture perfect parties. The ones that make the guest ooh and ahh upon entrance and if I break the bank to put on such an event, so be it. Truth is, I enjoy making things by hand and will scour earth for the best deal on nearly anything I buy, so my parties may not be as expensive as they appear. I would hate to think that at the end of the day, after all of the great effort spent to entertain my guests, that parent leave balking at what they think I've paid for the party, as if it is any of their business. Sometimes people like to take a moment to create something very beautiful for themselves or their loved ones and may want those moments captured beautifully for years to come. What's so wrong with that?
I love to read the event blogs for ideas for my kids' parties, but there's NO way I'd spend that much. I also feel like the kids are being over-indulged.
My max is $150 for everything, including the food. What I lack in budget, I try to make up for in homespun creativity.
I like what KerriM said - isn't going overboard for eye-candy a large part of what this blog is about?
I do like a well-coordinated party with an unexpected theme, and I'm willing to go "far" for that. To me, the process of planning and prepping the party are part of the fun! I make a lot of things myself, which makes them a lot cheaper than what you seem to suggest. The focus of the party is NOT getting the perfect photos (even though I happily admit that that's important, too) but to make the birthday child (or shower-ee) happy and to entertain the guests.
I'm also in the "what's the big deal?" camp. If that's what someone wants to do, and they have the time, imagination and inclination, what is the harm? I really dislike the "but you could have spent that money on XYZ" argument, because it's really presumptuous to tell someone how their money would be better spent. Creating an experience is, to me, as valuable as buying a thing.
well said tequila red.
Couldn't agree more with tequila red. And girlwithgreencard.
What's up with spoiling for a fight in the comments, Ohdeedoh? Thought you were above that sort of thing.
I also agree with tequila red. I enjoy putting together parties-all matchy and cute. But I always have a budget and don't spend more than I would otherwise-that's the best part-I get to be super creative and crafty with what we have!
I have a hunch that a lot of the "picture-perfect" parties featured on this blog are much cheaper than some of the toddler parties I've attended recently with bounce houses, huge store-bought cakes, hired entertainers and expensive goody bags.
When I plan my kids parties, I try to think of what experiences will be lasting for them, and I believe it has more to do with the people who are there and a few great photos of the event....plus good food for the adults to enjoy. None of that requires much money. And I can still make it beautiful and photo-worthy.
We also ask guests not to bring gifts for that same reason--we want the focus to be on the experience.
That said, I agree with the above posters--who really cares how much other parents choose to spend or how they choose to decorate? As long as everyone is having fun, do what you want!
Maybe it should have been clarified above, that we're not into telling families how to have a good time and how to spend their money.
Our question was more about how handmade, homemade unique and individual parties have all started to look the same and because of the internet it seems that even though parties are all different, they're starting to feel the same. Like there's a standard for parties now where there wasn't before.
That said, we still love checking into photos and all the styles that everyone creates, it just seems that sometimes the internet and magazines create a pressure to rise to this new type of party.
-Sarahrae
I love a picture prefect soiree, but I don't believe in spending lots of money on these sorts of things. I say, if you have the budget to go big, then go big. If not, put the money where it matters most to the guest of honor. My little boy just turned 4 and each time I asked what he would like for his birthday (party, friends, presents, etc.) he simply answere "Cake, chocolate with frosting." It seemed foolish to spend $100 on something elaborate that wasn't important to him but might have garnered a few strokes for my own ego. 'cuz really, I had some fabulous ideas for a party. Even on a small budget.
Maybe it should have been clarified above, that we're not into telling families how to have a good time and how to spend their money.
Our question was more about how handmade, homemade unique and individual parties have all started to look the same and because of the internet it seems that even though parties are all different, they're starting to feel the same. Like there's a standard for parties now where there wasn't before.
That said, we still love checking into photos and all the styles that everyone creates, it just seems that sometimes the internet and magazines create a pressure to rise to this new type of party.
-Sarahrae
Maybe it should have been clarified above, that we're not into telling families how to have a good time and how to spend their money.
Our question was more about how handmade, homemade unique and individual parties have all started to look the same and because of the internet it seems that even though parties are all different, they're starting to feel the same. Like there's a standard for parties now where there wasn't before.
That said, we still love checking into photos and all the styles that everyone creates, it just seems that sometimes the internet and magazines create a pressure to rise to this new type of party.
-Sarahrae
The photo perfect parties have not arrived in my corner of the world. Here it's all about picking a party place and paying someone else to serve the pizza and cake. Where's the fun in that? I think my guy is the only one who just want to celebrate at home with his friends, family, and favorite things (Legos this year!).
I am busy planning my little one's 2nd birthday party and he is all into John Deere stuff. I love scouring the internet for ideas but now I am thinking twice about using some of them. Come on Ohdeedoh, the pressure is on you to find some cool, original ideas for us all to copy :-) Thanks for doing a great job every day!!!
After reading your clarification Sarahrae, I totally get what you are trying to say. I love taking on the challenge of creating a memorable, happy day for my kids on a strict budget. And that means I have to use a lot of creativity and elbow grease. Its allowed me to really personalize their birthdays, and create parties that truly reflect what my kids love at that exact moment in their lives. We've had Matterhorn birthdays where we "bobsledded" down hills, pteranodon birthdays with giant nests and eggs, a hot wheels party with drag races, and more, all well under $200 (food included). And I've thought about submitting some of these parties to Ohdeedoh, because I was proud of them and the kids had a blast, but then I hesitate, because I don't have the perfect food table, or matching water bottles and we're all too busy having fun to take beautiful art directed pictures. So I agree there is a bit of that "pressure to rise to this new type of party" that you talk about. But if you can pull it off, more power to you!
With that said, I need to get working on the Haunted House and mummy costume my son has requested for his sixth birthday! ;)
This is really funny coming from Ohdeedoh. : ) (And I say that as someone who actually did submit a "My Party" submission.)
I think that perhaps the Ohdeedoh editors/staff are more immersed in child party trends than the rest of us, though. Or maybe it's just me, but I don't think the rash of "picture perfect" parties you speak of has hit my little corner of the world.
I love this kind of parties and all depend of coordination, you can do it in months. :)
I think it's easy to forget that the "perfect party" pictures don't happen at EVERY party a family throws! Once in awhile nearly everyone likes to host a really *wow* party, but that doesn't mean they're doing it every time.
And where's the party picture from in this post? It looks rad..
OK, i am actually reading the editor's correction and it's still not making sense. you actually are, indeed, telling us how to spend our money (with actual dollar amounts and suggestions as to where those dollars might otherwise go). The article doesn't even touch handmade vs. storebought, so if we could get back to topic of the article... handmade and creative are often more expensive, not always less. i spent $60 on props for a photobooth that i am making for my kids' party this weekend. and i'd do it again in a heartbeat unless you have a better idea of what i should do with it. we will have lasting memories and photos for it. but i would probably steer clear of articles that might cast judgement about parenting and dollar signs on a design blog.
The article suggests there's a trend toward spending less on gifts and more on decor, but I think it might appear that way only because most people probably don't send in pictures of the gifts for sites that are more about design and decor. And why should it be either/or? I cut down on both by making gifts that can be used as decor (last year, a Richard Scarry Huckle stuffed animal and Lowly worms... this year, a stuffed "Cat from Outer Space.") While I did put a lot of effort into the decor, it was in large part because my son loved to see pictures of his favorite cat on stickers, etc, that I used for decoration, not just because I wanted nice pictures.
I like what Kerri M said....
My son just turned two and we did the whole "picture perfect party"...
I ended up spending way too much money and I'll never do it again...
The kids were more interested in the bounce house and the pool.
I would like to see more REAL parties...
Besides the candy buffet is getting kind of old.
I go as far as I can with my time and budget, but still with the goal of simplicity. My budget is always tiny, my creativity large, and my time management horrible. So we end up with cute, simple parties. I do sometimes wonder how all these bloggers end up with such picture perfect parties, but I can only spend so much time comparing myself.
I love to throw a pretty "stylish" party, but handmade/sentimental/personal is much more important to me. We only throw a party every other year for each child (on the other year we have a special day and usually on outing with a friend) and I only spend about $30 - $40 per party not counting the gift. Kids like things to look special, but they're kids - I doubt they care if the waterbottles match.
I don't cut the gift budget to throw a matchy matchy photo-op birthday because I have had to acknowledge that the sort of party I like to throw is at least half for my pleasure, maybe more like 60/40 since they kids don't really care about anything other than balloons and cake. We're kidding ourselves if we pretend that toddlers care if their parties are Ohdeedoh worthy events.
Since you asked for comments...
We have a party for FREE at our park. The decorations are minimal because I don't believe in fuss and then having to throw stuff away although the park has both recycling and garbage bins.
I spend money on quality adult food for whoever wants to eat it.
Last but not least, throwing a party with good food is something we have the budget for; the party never detracts from a trip, a museum toy, keepsake, etc. I honestly don't understand why you pit one against the other because financially responsible people budget for expenses like "birthday parties."
I will tell you quite openly that I spent $350 on the catering. I love to feed my friends, and I don't care for photo op parties.
I will admit - looking at the fabulous photos on this site and others puts a little pressure on me to create a awesome looking party. My son only 6 months old and I have been thinking about his first birthday party for awhile.
BUT - I also have a little voice inside my head that tells me not to go ridiculous overboard for a one year old's birthday. I love looking at the photos of others and picking one or two items I think would be realistic for a one year old party. I wouldn't get those ideas if others didn't go all out! So, I thank those who have the budget, time and imagination to do those things!
Plus, do what ever works for your family :)
I look forward to reading the comments, but wanted to post my initial reaction.
I do get the sense that a lot of parties these days are staged for the internet - but on the other hand, if you've put in a real labor of love for your special person and you're psyched about how it turned out, why not share? I think the distinction is whom you're doing it FOR. If the bottom line is whatever makes the guest of honor feel most honored, have at!
In terms of whether to spend on decor vs. presents, I can safely say that I distinctly remember the green submarine cake my mom made for my brother's fifth birthday (I was three), while I don't remember any of his presents. That cake was exactly what he wanted.
tasterspoon--funny, I also remember some of the stunning cakes my mom made (she was all about the sesame street character-shaped cake pans and the fancy, professional-style decorative frosting), and I do remember feeling that it was something VERY special when she did that. I do think that once kids are a little older (maybe 4 or 5 and up?) they do notice effort put into the party if it's done according to their interests.
Speaking as someone who just finished throwing a party that I thought looked pretty darn good in pictures - looking good is not at all about spending money. In fact almost everything that we had at the party was handmade and we did it that way on purpose to be budget friendly. The favors were all assembled from craft items from the dollar store and the food was homemade. So what makes you think that all the "picture perfect parties" are costing an arm and a leg? Maybe I spent a lot of time (which was time when my kids were asleep and husband was at work) but certainly not a lot of money. I just don't get this post, why make a generalization about the subject AND like KerriM said, why take a dig at your very own readers. Seems like a pretty poorly planned blog entry to me.
I love planning parties, but I agree that they are all starting to look the same in the blogosphere. I remember one on here last year that was a Peter Pan party that was really lovely and not so "cupcake pick that matches the water bottle labels that matches the..." (And I'm totally guilty of throwing those sorts of parties for my kids.)
Would love to see some new ideas!
But I will likely continue to plan elaborate home parties for my kids. Because honestly, I like it. And celebrating is a very important part of our lives. (But I never add up all the receipts....)
I will admit that for my son's first birthday party I spent a lot of time making sure every thing looked "picture perfect" because simply, I wanted to, we could afford it and I enjoyed doing it. It included a color themed dessert buffet (yellow, black and green with bees as the overall theme) which were all homemade by my mother and I. The gifts were never impacted at all, he still recieved exactly the presents he would have gotten, party or not.
I do get what the poster is trying to stay - in that loads of the party pictures going around the internet seem to have the following;
*labelled water bottles
*cupcake labels
*a dessert table where everything is colour co-ordinated
They do look beautiful though, and I think having great photos for your kids to look back on is an awesome thing - and I'm sure the kids wouldn't mind if they weren't there. But as a mum I love to do it - its my present to my child.
I think the problem would be if the child was demanding all this colour-coordinated stuff that it was going too far. But kids just want a cake, candles and friends over to run amok.
All the rest is for the grown ups.
Wow! Quite the responses to this article. Well, I'm right in the middle of this, as I'm currently planning a birthday party for my daughter who turns two in November. I love really beautiful parties, I love planning a great party, and I want my party to be good enough to be featured on Ohdeedoh or another party blog. But at the same time, I don't have a lot of money, and I do wonder if anyone would really miss coordinating water bottle labels if I didn't do them. For anyone who has the money, I say do as much as you want, the more the better in my opinion, but I probably won't be able to do everything. I don't have a set budget for parties. I spent $200 on everything for my daughter's birthday last year, but I wish I had cut some things out 'cause that was too much for me. This year, I'm buying things a little bit at a time, when I see something that works, (mostly at Thrift stores actually), so that the the cost is spread out, and I'm trying to use things I already have, and make what I can to cut down on the costs. I've also been thinking a lot about what Sara mentioned in her clarification, how parties are all starting to look the same, and I've thought about some things I can do for my daughter's upcoming party to make it at least a little different then everything I'm seeing online. For anyone who hasn't seen any party trends, just look at Sara's Party Perfect, Kara's Party Blog, Hip Hip Hooray, Amy Atlas, The Party Dress, TomKat Studios, and the list goes on. I love these blogs and look at them often.
Oops, I left the "h" off of Sarah's name. And I'm a Sarah with an "h". I'm so sorry Sarah!
I would like to acknowledge the above picture as it is my own that was just showcased on Hostess With The Mostess the other week. I was excited to get a link sent to me that I was on this site until I read the post. I can not believe that my picture was used in this content.
To inform all that read this post and all these comments: If you were a regular reader of my blog you would know that ALL of the items were made by me, a friend of mine made ALL the baked goods including the cake, and the stripe fabric is from Ikea and the white linens are actually sheets. Since I am an interior designer this party was all hand made by me with the help of my friends to celebrate my little one's 2nd birthday.
I see no shame in having a wonderfully decorated and memorable time for all my family and friends to enjoy. AND to then be able to share the "how tos" with all my readers. At least the party sites I have been reading have been sharing their vendors and where to get things for a deal- especially in these times. I take pride in every hand made piece I make and love knowing I can do this for other people.
It truly makes me happy to help someone have a great day for their little ones and it is very fulfilling. I am sure most of the "party girls" out there would agree.
With that said I would have loved that my little one's party picture had not been the image of this topic as it was not done in the way implied.
Like so many of you, I love a picture perfect party. I just threw a birthday party for my daughter and did all that I could on a budget to make it picture perfect. As I was preparing however, I was also doing some soul-searching. The big question was- Why was I going to such lengths for this party? Was it because I like being crafty? yes. Was it to honor the birthday girl and give her the best party I could? yes. But was it also so I could impress the guests? hmmm. Preparing for the party, I found my plans changing so I could answer this last question with an honest no. I do not want to throw a picture perfect party to impress the guests. Yes, I do want them to feel comfortable at the party. But I was careful to make sure everything I did was not done solely to impress the guests.
I think picture perfect parties for the right reason are acceptable. Do what you can within your budget. But never do something just to impress your guests.
There are so many good points in this discussion but I will focus on the one that resonated with me: Tired of the same "water bottle/cupcake pick/dessert buffet" aesthetic that CandyK so thoughtfully articulated. Like when the whole world went Martha and then there was a movement towards handmade...more funky than elegant.
And Hollyh, glad to see your comment--I was completely inspired by your Richard Scarry party and am working on a Lowly Worm shindig for my son's first birthday in November. I'm trying to walk the line between beautiful and FUN. The party is a labor of love for me, because I love my baby and I love crafting...I do the parts I enjoy (designing Apple Car invites) and skip the things I don't care about (water bottles???).
Rebekah--I'm glad you commented. I wondered if the person who threw the party in the photo knew of this post. I can certainly understand your irritation. And I think everything looks beautiful. I'm off to that site right now to look at the rest of it.
snacks not snakcs
wow ohdeedoh... that was a pretty holier than thou post you threw out there... you put a lot of people in a tiny little box.
my mom threw outrageously extravagant parties when i was young. that was long before the designer party came into play. yeah, she probably spent a chunk of change obsessing over the perfect food, decorations and entertainment for each unique theme, but the fantasy world she created for us for those special days was more memorable to me than any trip to any museum (which she also did plenty of). i'll never forget gluing together tutus with my friends and being taught basic ballet steps by a professional ballerina (friend of a friend) at my ballerina birthday or holding a baby leopard at my brother's zoo birthday. she also custom made our halloween costumes, decorated for every holiday and made treats for all our class parties. it brought her a lot of joy and it brought us imagination and fantasy that manifested itself in our personalities and lives.
no, going above and beyond for every birthday isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it is mine. you better get over it, cause i love extravagant parties and i will till i die.
so maybe you think the candy bar is overplayed, so what!? it's someone else's aesthetic and they enjoy doing it. they might not like something you do (could the bird/cage/nest/branch nursery thing BE more played out?).
bottom line: lighten up... you sound a bit judge-y.
I love posts that really fire moms up! It seems we are still in the have/have not mode again, even down to our parties!
I personally try to keep a budget on our parties and make as much as I can. Sure, I'm up all night making tissue poms and hubby doesn't understand why, but that's my choice. I love looking at 'over-the-top' and simple parties for inspiration, I love the challenge of making it affordable/adaptable to my party. I'm a fan of reusing party elements too, like said tissue poms.
The biggest thing to remember is we don't know how much they've spent/how much was free. We assume because they have a bouncy house and ponies it is ridiculous and overpriced. Perhaps their best friend owns a pony and the bouncy house was won in a giveaway? Maybe they've a party account and add money to it every month. Maybe they just have the money for it. Whatever. If you can do it, go for it!
But don't try to design a party that breaks the bank because 'all the cool crafty kids are doing it'. All these parties out there should serve as inspiration, not a 'keeping up with the Joneses' mentality. Gosh, I'm full of cliches tonight!
The original post did sound overly judge-y, and I really don't care how much money someone does or doesn't spend on a party of any sort. But I have to say that I completely agree with the author's clarification, that "handmade, homemade unique and individual parties have all started to look the same and because of the internet, it seems that even though parties are all different, they're starting to feel the same." This is absolutely true, at least on many popular party blogs (including the one that featured the photo used for this post). I actually had this very same conversation with a friend last week.
These party displays, while beautiful and color-coordinated, cease to be as creative as they could be when so many of them use the exact same ideas. I mean, down to the table layout. Inevitably, there's an elevated focal point in the center, such as a cupcake display, flanked by two squat boxes holding cake stands with more food. There is almost always a candy buffet offered out of awkwardly fragile, yet beautiful, glass containers. And, of course, the labeled water bottles. The color schemes may change, but most major elements remain the same. Don't even get me started on party "logos."
I love meticulously designed parties and have thrown them myself, but c'mon. If I see another elaborate centerpiece flanked by two squat boxes I'm gonna scream! :)
And to Rebekah: Your party is beautiful, and you should be really proud of it. My rant is not directed at you in any way. In fact, I'm sorry you got dragged into this discussion by throwing such a great-looking soiree!
In ref to Rebekah's comment - yeah, ohdeedoh should have used a stock image for this post, not a RECENT party.
As for the rest, my mama always said she freaked out about birthday parties (poor single mama with children invited to fancy parties at classmates' houses) till someone told her all children need is pass the parcel and a cake. It's true!
Do anything else you like, but remember it's not necessary (ie. if you enjoy it, do it! if you don't, don't!)
I think Ohdeedoh is taking their mean-girls asthetic to near meta-levels with this post. While the royal-we here seems to enjoy sniffing out certain trends in order to trot them out and deride them as unneccessary or unhip, the site actively seeks out party submissions, choses which parties to features, then snarks on the parties for all looking the same, all being over the top or whatever. People who like to throw a great party will do this, just like people who like a stylish house will take great pains to decorate one. Some spend a lot, some do it on the sly. What is the point of this article, especially on a site like this? Is it necessary? Of course not, most kids would be happy if you just opened up a bag of Skittles on the ground. Are parties like this the bread and butter of this site? Sure seems like it. What will you post now that you've deemed them tragically uncool?
Nothing, NOTHING in this world looks and feels as good as kids smiling, laughing, and having fun. And whether it costs $10 or $300 to accomplish that, it's worth every penny.
My instructor for the Wilton cake decorating classes I took a few years ago made the most jaw-droppingly beautiful cakes for her children's birthdays. Each one was incredibly elaborate and took about a week to craft. She obviously loves designing and creating those cakes, so I think the time and money are well spent. However, if someone were to drop a several hundred dollars on the same cake at a bakery I'd say it was silly and likely to spoil the kid (if he's old enough to understand) or serve more as a ridiculous status symbol (if other adults are in attendance).
From the kid's perspective, I think most of them prefer a homemade cake and a party at home to a party you can purchase at McDonald's. Or at least the homegrown parties will be the ones they remember as an adult.
I LOVE staring at these party photos as much as the next person, but I do wonder who on earth has a professional photographer at their child's birthday party?! And, why? Ok, maybe it's a friend; but let's be honest here, how many people happen to have professional photographer friends who take beautiful photos of every crafty-color-coordinated-detail at a child's birthday party?
I couldn't agree more with nellymom and so many others. Rebekah you threw a gorgeous party for your daughter and should still be very proud of every beautiful detail. Ohdeedoh was really out of line to use your photo for this discussion. It was funny how in the discussion itself Sarahrae kept cutting and pasting what was written above and not acknowledging the misstep in being so judgmental of readers. I usually don't comment on this type of thing, but with my son's party right around the corner I felt inclined to say something. I'm planning a homemade, budget-friendly party and it might look similar to others I've seen and been inspired by (i.e. we're having a photo booth--my son has loved helping me pick at the props) with some of my own ideas thrown in (I hand painted an elephant for "pin the tail on the elephant" game and got it laminated for future party use), but I think the birthday boy is going to love his party and it will make every late night of crafting to prepare worth it! Now I just know not to bother sharing it on Ohdeedoh.
I don't think this article is meant to be judgemental at all....i think the intention is how much we as parents will give into pressure...for eg for some families spending 500 to 600 bucks on a brithday party maybe perfectly normal and affordable and for some families even spending half that amount -a stretch.....and as we go on seeing these things so often on all the websites - is it making us believe that color co-ordinated food on the table is a must for eg????? so all fellow readers....take this in the spirit it was meant to be!
There are so many good points in the comments, I'm not sure if I can add anything new.
girlfrog, MamaDutch, girlwithagreencard and honeyhaze's comments all stood out to me.
To answer the blog post title, I will go as near or far as I deem appropriate for the situation.
We did a big birthday party for our daughter's first, and we had such a great time - it was right for us. The day itself, the famiy vacation, and all the planning was so much fun. I bought quite a bit...mostly from Etsy (paper poms, inviations, thank yous, cake topper, favors etc. And I made a few things myself (include her dresses). And use some things I already had...photo props, Wheely Bug, Ikea high chair, candles and vases.
I was kind of hurt by the comments I overheard when I was making my way to the cake "gee, we had ours in a barn" and "a little overboard?" These friends have been friends for years, and instead of enjoying being invited to our big family event, they were being critical. I'll be honest, it took my party-throwing confidence and put it in a half-Nelson for a while. When I shared my party with the online world, one lady suggested my child would turn out spoiled. Granted, I did share, but where were the positive comments that so many party blogs seem to have?
Maybe people are more accepting of things that fit into the current mold. It's fashionable to be frugal and to go hand made. Yes, I did make some things by hand myself, but the time it takes...my time...and materials could have been on par with the money it would have cost if I had asked someone to make it for me.
These parties we see are glimpses, not the whole picture.
And for what it's worth, my 'big' party never made it to the Oh-dee-doh blog, so when it comes to submissions, picture-perfect or big isn't always a guarantee. And that's what I like about the real parties.
I haven't commented before, but I registered just so I can comment on this post.
I am really amused because the reason I found ohdeedoh is because I came across one of the site as I was looking for ideas for my son's birthday. In my experience, the homemade touches from etsy or made by myself (mostly suggested by ohdeedoh) cost me a good deal more than the generic parties that I could put together with things I can pick up from the big box stores. However, I am happy to do it as it makes me and my son happy. Yes, he would be just as happy with a play date in the park, but I like the party planning aspect of being a mum, I find it a bonus of being mum.
I actually do have several museum passes and I think a more tactful and less judgemental post would be to talk about what a wonderful deal they are for mums.
I think the strong reaction from me and other mums is that parenting is stressful enough and many of us don't have much help in doing it. It would be really nice if we didn't have every aspect of our parenting being analyzed and criticized.
HACB - why do you think anyone's using a professional photographer? Many creative types have a DSLR and do amateur photography that looks nearly as good as a professional's.
Huh...we did. She did the photos for the photobooth backdrop we had. Indoor lighting is tricky, and I wanted our friends and family to enjoy themselves, so we hired someone. I have to say, not picking up the camera on your child's birthday is about the nicest thing you can do for yourself...there's no pressure to capture the first taste of cake, blowing out the candles or the antics of someone stealing part of your child's cake. And any lighting issues were hers to deal with.
This is why I always take pictures for friends when I go to a birthday party or some other life celebration. I figure they'll be too busy, and it's nice to look back on all the aspects of it and remember. Generally the more decorations, the more photos I take, but I certainly don't forget about the people there...friends and family. This is why I think it's so important to capture the faces of guests at weddings...many of them won't be around in the years to come.
There are so many ways to give an awesome party for a lot less. However, it is about getting create and doing the work. I just posted pictures of a co-ed baby shower for 60 that we threw on Sunday. All in all, we only spent a couple hundred dollars on food, drink and decor and it was worth every penny.
I made signs out of leftover invitations, made cupcake flags for less than $1 and an hour, picked a definitive color palette and purchased a roll of ribbon in each to dress up a few random areas. Most importantly, I streamlined a beverage bar with sparkling wine, juices, fruit infused water and beer. Greek food was catered by a local cafe' and odds and ends were gathered from the local Farmers' market. It was a magical day for very little AND gave me the thrill of throwing a pretty party. Pictures here - http://www.festassured.blogspot.com
I actually agree with Nellymom... If the idea is to inspire others and share what it being done, trendy or not... to create and share the trends, showcase what others are doing well, then fantastic. But to question things afterward? Sounds a bit like trying to have one's cake and eat it too :)
I enjoy planning parties and making things for said parties myself instead of paying someone to do it for me. I ENJOY doing it. I personally never really had many parties as a kid and I don't want my children to follow the same pattern. To each his own.
I thought this was a great post- not judgmental- just asking an interesting question. I definitely have "perfect party" fatigue with seeing all the picture perfect dessert tables. I do think there is a new standard that is expected at kid's parties. Not that it is necessarily good or bad, but it is different from when I was a kid. I feel like kid's parties have moved from experience to aesthetic. I remember chuck-e-cheese, mini golf, swimming pools and roller rinks- not table settings.
There is a definite trend of "blog era+ access to professional photography + recession" influencing the themes to many of the kid's parties now- and in 10-20 years those parties will all look very 2010 to our 2020+ eyes.
Cheers!
I agree with everything HayleyMiller above me said - also, I've really appreciated seeing some of the more unusual, "out of the box" party ideas you've posted in the past few days!