We celebrate Christmas and Kings' Day so we will be giving our son a book (read) and a Notre Dame tee (wear) on Christmas Eve and a walker and truck (play) on Christmas Day. Not sure what we he will receive on Kings' Day. We think this is how we will celebrate every year.

we limit it to one gift per kid. in the past, they've each gotten their own gift, but now they play together all the time so they're getting two joint gifts.

one from santa, one from mom, one from dad and we are keeping them all small. her biggish gift (new kickboard) is going to be given to her on the last day of the school semester. she's been having a great school year (both there and at home) and we want to reward her for all her hard work.

Heh. I'm very familiar with the slippery slope. We always start off with the best of intentions to keep things minimal, but then...

At any rate, this year (so far), we seem to be sticking to our guns. Each of our two kids will get one present from us, one from Santa, one from each other, and of course their stockings. I'm not accountable, however, for what their overly generous extended family gets up to. :)

One of my friends recently told me about this idea she and her husband do with their families. As a nod to the three presents given by the wise men, each child gets three presents:

A Gold Gift: something that is precious to the child - something s/he really wants (bike, etc.)

A Frankinscence Gift: something for the spiritual development of the child since frankinscence was used in worship (a bible, a journal, a book of bible or moral stories, or whatever else fits into your family's spiritual paradigm); and

A Myrrh Gift: something for the body since this was a lotion (a sweater, robe, etc.)

I really liked how this tied in the story of Jesus' birth with the gifts received on Christmas and was a good limit on the number of gifts, but it may not work for every family.

I know of an adaptation on mybaumshleter's GFM grouping:

Gold - G is for garment (some type of clothing)

Frankincense - F is for fun (some toy or game the child really wants)

Myrrh - M is for mind (an educational gift - book, magazine subscription, trip to a museum, etc.)

I kind of like this group as it covers a necessity, a desire and something the child didn't even know he/she needed or wanted.

thankfully we won't have to deal with this until next year since i'm not due until april but the discussion is a difficult one. growing up my parents spend boat loads on christmas - about $500 for me and my brother each and this was in the 80s and 90s. we would always get stuff we wanted - bike, basketball hoop, music, books, toys, etc. - but the majority of the gifts were stuff we needed - clothes, shoes, toiletries, cash for a school trip, etc. these were things we didn't get throughout the year. we would get one gift on our birthdays, a small easter basket and a few new outfits and school supplies for back-to-school.

i like the idea of setting a dollar limit based on the family budget. this seems more fair than setting a number of gifts. what if one kid wants a $200 bike and the other a $50 model set?

thoughts?

We haven't done a set number of with our daughter who is three but generally it's around 5 or so. A couple toys, some books, maybe something to wear like a new pair of soon-to-be favorite "jam jams." Same for her birthday.

Right now since our daughter is so young (2 1/2) , we just get her one thing that we think she will really like. She doesn't need, nor do we have room for lots of toys. I always encourage the exited grandparents to think of things that will be easy to store, but I know the reality is that they will do whatever they want. =) The one gift from mom and dad hopefully balances out the overload from the grandparents. We are giving her a Rody this year.

In addition to Christmas, my son's birthday is Dec. 21st so we are thinking we might donate most of his presents until he's old enough to know or care. By then hopefully he'll want to donate as well.

We celebrate Hanukkah, so, from us, the kids get 6 gifts. One night of Hanukkah is covered by the g-parents and one night is mitzvah night where they give gifts to charity instead of getting them.

Of course, each gift could be a multi-gift, like a matching set of hat, mittens, and scarf. Or a bunch of art supplies.

We don't try to even out the cost of the gifts between the kids. My hubby grew up in a household that did that and it ended up being more about how much was spent than about what would be the right gift for that kid at that point in his life. Kind of the wrong message as far as gift giving goes. (Also as far as life goes: it's unfair. Sometimes that'll work in your favor and sometimes it won't. Either way, you shouldn't take it to heart.)

we havent really figured out what sort of gift giving rules well be following just yet. although, this year we bought our 4 month old a walker and our almost 3 year old a bike and a ton of markers and crayons... all "learning tools" in one way or another. :)

Jammies to unwrap and wear Christmas eve. One "big" ($30 or less) present each and one "small" (around $10) present, plus some small stocking stuffers like chapstick, socks, mandarin orange, candy cane and a hotwheels car. This is for my 2 girls and one boy - Christmas shouldn't be a focus on materialism. But way to go rotating the toys... we do that too and it works great!

Nothing.

He'll get something nice from Grandma and Aunt from the wish list I've created. He'll get some either totally awesome or totally terrible from Uncle and other Grandma. Either way, it is lot for a two year old to process.

We buy (ahem- plenty) gifts other times during the year. My Secret Closet of Mystery is well-stocked.

I read another post on this same topic last week, and several commenters suggested the following (which I plan to adopt): Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.

nenasadije, i think older kids might notice a difference in dollar amount spent. however, with younger kids, if one wants a $200 bike and the other wants a $50 model set, well, they each get what they want, right? younger (like under age 10, 12?) kids notice quantity, not quality. they don't know what things cost. they do notice, "hey, i got one present (a bike) but she got four!"

anyway, we kind of save birthdays as the "it's all about me!" days. i'm not religious, but i'd like my kids to see christmas as being more about giving (especially making/baking for others and doing activities with others) than receiving. luckily, the grandparents and others in our circle have agreed to keep christmas low-key.

this is a great discussion! my baby is due to arrive the 22nd. we clearly have several years to contemplate the subject and all of you have some awesome ideas that my husband and i can chew on.

When I was younger, Santa filled a mitten instead of a stocking. Usually there was a gift card to target for $10 and a candy cane. I always open pj's on Christmas eve. In the morning I would open 1piece of clothing & the big present (usually something like movie/toy/mp3 player). We had a lot of Christmases one with different parts of the family so we got many things. After every Christmas we had to write out our thank you note before we could go to bed. That way we could always remember what Christmas was really about. I plan to do this with my children because it worked really well.

My husband and I also follow the "need/want/wear/read" although our daughter is only 2.5 and doesn't really know what she wants, except to be the boss, of everyone:)That said we are getting her a shopping cart (found a great WOOD one at Target for $30!!!), a book and jammies(need & wear combo) plus stocking stuffers which will pretty much be new markers and stickers. I wish it was always going to be this easy...

Aunts and uncles are usually pretty conservative since there are so many nieces and nephews, but I really wish that the grandparents would listen to requests. They ask, but never really listen. I tried to convince both my mil and mother that a family membership to the science or children's museums would be invaluable to us this winter, but no go. I guess grandma's just have to buy lots of plastic toys to feel the spirit of christmas:) well, grandmas can do whatever they want, I suppose.

We're giving one gift per adult relative couple (that's three) and one from Santa. We celebrate with extended family, and it would be lame for us to show up at my inlaws with nothing.

Something they want.

Something they need.

Something to wear and

something to read.

Works great, give you a good way to limit the gifts (sometimes it's easy to buy willy nilly) and also you don't get the kids too much (they get overwhelmed and don't appreciate giant loads of presents).

We've got a Christmas baby, too, which makes this whole question a little more involved. Our strategy for the young years is one gift Christmas day, one small gift on her birthday, and the 'real' birthday gift at her party a month later. I always listen with interest how people with older children handle it - it seems touchy, not wanting to diminish either day! I have to say, like JudiAU, that all year is a shopping trip for toys - seems like they hit a new developmental stage and suddenly I'm thinking about a play kitchen and should I wait for Christmas? So giving a single gift doesn't feel stingy to me. I'm sure with second kids, it's less like outfitting a whole school all the time...

kcook-I def. feel you on the g-parents thing! Less plastic junk please! I tried to get her to buy fewer, non-character toys that will last and be purposeful, but she's buying more Dora, Elmo, etc. stuff

So many great ideas here...my husband and I grew up with excess, and we have no idea how to keep the focus away from "how much stuff I'm going to get."

Thanks!!

stickyricemama, are you saying you feel like you have to bring a gift for your child, when celebrating at the grandparents' homes?

Our kids (3.5 and 6 mos) are only grandchildren on both sides of the family. Needless to say, the grandparents go crazy. To try to combat the overflow of toys, we keep it simple: a few gifts they either want or need. I never really thought about it, but it does sort of break down into the Need/Read/Want/Wear categories.

FWIW, when I was growing up, our stockings were always filled with "free" stuff: work tchotchkies, hotel toiletries (my dad traveled a lot), perfume samples, etc. These were always my favorite part: it was the fun of unwrapping and laughing about how the things were acquired and knowing that our parents were thinking of us all year. On reflection, I guess that only works post-belief in Santa.

Tasterspoon, I really like that idea. My two are young (4.5 and 2) and have not bothered with stockings up until now as I question the value of purchasing lots of little bits and pieces but will start accumulating freebies along the way next year for this purpose! As for presents, I always try to restrain myself but end up buying too much. We only buy "wants" for birthdays and Christmas so I try to get 3 or 4 (or 5 if I'm going OTT) things that I know they will love, and absolutely nothing they need.

my son is the only grandchild. On both sides. He gets tons of stuff-two years ago he got one of these cars (a hummer) for kids. I won't stop my parents or MIL from getting him anything they want to buy. They have the money and it makes them happy. They usually ask me if something is the right age or if he would like it though....
We go overboard too- he's our only child and so he has tons of toys. This year he is getting a few playmobil sets, moonsand, a few books, a Wii with games, a few board games, some legos and some art supplies.

One from Mom and Dad, one from Santa and one small one from the Santa at our cultural association Christmas party, so 3. There will also be a stocking filled with a few $1 items and a candy cane. Our girls will get plenty of other things from family and close friends, so I make at least one of our gifts a non-toy gift (like a book, clothing, blanket or DVD, etc) and hope some of the others are too.

My children (ages 2 and 4, plus one on the way) are the only grandchildren on both sides as well. By the time we have made the rounds during the week of Christmas (which is a visit to the in-laws, a visit to my grandmother where she and my aunts and uncles are all gathered, then my mother, then my father and his partner) we are absolutely inundated with STUFF. We live in a city apartment so it's not easy to store all of the toys they already have and we'd honestly rather not add any more. There has never seemed to be a nice way to ask relatives to cut back, nor could we ask them to buy a different sort of gift rather than the big, noisy plastic toys they favour.
So from us? In the past we've gotten away with buying nothing at all, but having our own Christmas celebration be about making pancakes and listening to carols and having some fun treats. Our son is finally at the age where he's very interested in Santa, reindeer, and the whole bit, so I imagine we'll find a couple small gifts to put under the tree from Santa. Maybe a book and some chocolate...

I loved coming downstairs to find a large pile of presents. But since we were by no means well off, most of the gifts were cheap (dollar store, thrift store, etc) or separated (gloves in on, scarf in another, hat in third, etc).

I didn't care. It was fun seeing the big pile. And I loved that my mom would pack them so we couldn't tell what they are. Like one year she got a magnet from the dollar store that looked like a plate of food so I could use it for my Barbie. But she put it in a HUGE box and weighed it down with heavy books so I couldn't tell. Another time she wrapped up the batteries necessary for some toy and we couldn't open it until we guessed what it was. It took a while (and a lot of hints!).

Another fun thing she'd do was give funny or rhyming instructions on the tag, until we did them we couldn't open the present. Like say the ABCs backwards, rub our bellies while patting our heads, etc. It was loads of fun, made great memories (and funny pictures), and drew out the process of opening presents so it wasn't over in 10 minutes.

I'll probably do something similar with my kids when they're old enough. :)

Oops. "One," not "on."

My boyfriend's family has a great tradition of giving a small gift on each of the twelve days of Christmas (which actually starts the day after Christmas). Each gift is given in a small box that they hang on the tree. We give one or two gifts per person on Christmas day, but the fun continues for the twelve days following Christmas. It is a really great tradition for adults and kids alike. If you want to learn more, check out their site at : www.twelvedays.com

I come from a family where growing up we (my brother, sister and I) got everything we wanted. We could hardly walk in the living room Christmas morning. And even though I didn't want that to happen with my kids each year I cant stop shopping for them. This year I actually cut back and bought each of my 2 children 15 gifts. Some people find that okay and others find it out of control. Thoughts?? I myself have been thinking about cutting Waaaay back!