I don't own a TV, so I haven't actually seen the A&E series Hoarders. But having lived with a recovering one, I understand the tendency. Many of my friends have commented that they envy my minimal style. I can't help myself; I really loathe clutter and I'm kind of cheap, which meshes well with being a minimalist. Here, some habits I've picked up as an anti-hoarder:
Furniture:
1. Remove furniture that blocks hallways and walkways and choose smaller items that fit into the space, allowing room to breathe.
2. Use nooks that don't invite a lot of traffic. Most of my furniture runs along the two walls farthest from the entrance to my apartment.
3. Lose furniture that you don't use, like tables designated only to hold piles of stuff that should be tossed (more on that later). Try Craigslist, Freecycle, eBay, or your local thrift store. Consolidate display items onto fewer pieces of furniture.
4. Clear out stuff from under the bed and under pieces of furniture that you can see. It might be a space-saver, but it looks and feels messy. Store the stuff in closets (see below) or decide if you really need it.
Closets:
5. Recycle, donate, file at the beginning of every season. Before I shop for a new season, I go through my closet and get rid of anything I don't feel good about wearing. I recently shipped a big box to my little sister, who really appreciated the new-to-her clothes and shoes.
6. Store away as much as you can (and only what you want/need) high above in closets, drawers, baskets, etc. Add wall shelving wherever possible. Clear out containers and drawers about twice a year.
Paper:
7. Recycle junk mail as soon as you receive it, or better, cancel it. Sign up to receive statements online.
8. Order digital magazines instead of print if you have a tablet. Recycle print ones after you read them. I like to toss my print mags in my bag as soon as I get them in the mail, so I can read them on the train or at the doctor's office and then either leave them behind for someone else to enjoy while they wait or recycle them. I've also given books I will never read again to the local library.
Electronics:
9. Donate to your local thrift store or sell on sites like Gazelle.
Kid Stuff:
10. If they've outgrown toys and clothes, hold on to the truly special pieces and donate the rest to friends, sell on sites like Once Upon a Child, or, since it's summer, schedule a yard sale.
Finally, avoid impulse buys that contribute to debt and clutter. You'll save money for more experiential pleasures, like travel. I'm sure I've forgotten other tricks, so please share your minimalist habits below!
(Image: Leela Cyd Ross/Laura's Mid-Century Melrose Place)
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Mail bins for each occupant and a recycle bin near your home's entrance, to encourage sorting and discourage paper stacks on surfaces throughout the house.
I keep a hamper inside my closet where I place anything that's damaged, stained or Im not wearing, to await donation or repair. I sort that bin once a month and find it's easier to part with things once they've been out of site for 30 days.
Hooks near entry for keys - easy to find.
Zone the storage in your kitchen. Spices pots, pans & large utensils near the stove. Glasses and dishes near the refrigerator. Toaster near your pantry items etc.
I aspire to be an anti-hoarder. How do I get started? I am drowning!!
Great post!
I too hate clutter but tend to be an impulse buyer. I now have a "process" I go through before I purchase something
1. Do I NEED it (realizing Want and Need are different)
2. Will I still need it in a year?
3. Can I find it somewhere else cheaper?
Lastly, I still think there is value in buying something just because you really want it. With this, if I am still thinking about it in a few days, I will let myself get it.
And get a shredder. It may take up space, but it helps immensely in getting rid of all that paper that seems to turn into piles all over the place. And it makes it safer to recycle anything that has your name and address if you're concerned about identity theft.
If you only occasionally ski, snowboard, camp, bike, golf, snorkel, etc. it sometimes is more cost effective to rent the equipment when you need it instead of storing it for your once a year trip. And, you get to use new state of the art stuff! I also have learned to take pictures and and donate trinkets, gifts I can't use, and sentimental items that take up space.
You can watch "Hoarders" on the Internet -- you don't need a TV.
Hi, any more tips on getting rid of those piles of paper? My house is covered in piles of paper, mail, and printed documents for grad school...
kitchen: go minimal whereever possible. I've done without clunky appliances (which means sometimes more labor is involved - whipping egg whites and cream by hand is tiresome but good exercise) if I can manage to accomplish the same tasks by hand or with knives. I haven't needed a coffeemaker as my French press suffices. I havent needed a clunky food processor as my hand blender has been plenty. I find that chopping gizmos, and other accessories (apple corer?) are generally a waste of space and money. This is especially applicable to me and my small nyc kitchen.
Any table that holds stuff (magazines, mail, books, junk) needs to go. That is why I loved the tiny coffee table in Dina's West LA home. Only big enough to hold two drinks - your's and your significant other's while you both admire your uncluttered table.
What a timely article! I was just confessing to an officemate of mine how I fear I'm becoming a DIY Hoarder with my amazing CL finds. But we figured out that it was more of an issue of TIME vs. actual hoarding sickness as I could still move my CL finds around the apartment in a usable space. Now I just have to work on my time management skills (or quit my job and blog about it for money lol).
My mother is a hoarder!!! I have fought me entire adult life not to be one-now, she is aging and my brother and I are going to have to clear all that stuff out! My precious new husband is borderline-he goes to Big Lots regularly for "retail therapy", and Good Will receives lots of those cast-offs. It is harder than it looks to be a minimalist when other family members are not.
If you have a large amount of paper you want to save, yet don't really need, you could try digitizing it all - scan it.
I get rid of junk in two ways. Clothes - I hang all my hangers backwards at the beginning of the year and whenever I wear something, I turn the hanger to normal. That way I know at the end of 6 months or a year what items I really never wear. For items stuffed in boxes I put a sticky note on each item and only take the sticky off when I use it. Again, you'll easily find out what kitchen appliance you really never use.
Folks working towards a more sparse anti-hoarder home should also be patient with the process. I find I get rid of things in layers over time, as my confidence in letting go increases. Something I might've clung to years ago may be easily parted with now. It's tough to go from hoarder to minimalist in one step, so give yourself time.
I am like the exact opposite of a hoarder. I want to get rid of EVERYTHING. If I don't love it, I don't want to see it ever again.
There are dangers to being extreme in either direction, I guess! haha
It can be so transformative, letting go of things and living with less.
pve
No offense, but most people who meet the actual definition of "hoarder" need a lot more help (like therapy) than a simplified list/article can provide.
Don't move in with someone who "likes to acquire things."
Do live in NYC, which requires you to both move often and live in small spaces, so you're forced to reevaluate that extra blanket/table/waffle maker.
****BORING**** This place looks like it's been staged to sell. It's white and chilly and uninviting. It's a room that says, "You can sit, but don't stay too long."
And by the way, there is alot to be said for hanging on to items you don't use.
Example: The 6 foot cord that attached to my old printer has the exact same connection for my coffee pot that came with a 2 foot cord.
Think carefully before you toss your "junk" because the day will come when you wish you had not thrown everything away. In this economy better to be able to retrieve an item then to have to re-purchase it.
You don't have to convince me--I despise clutter and useless things made in China....
I have a tendency to go overboard with thrift store and clothing purchases so I've adopted a one-in one-out policy. For each item I buy (like a tea cup or dress) I get rid of one that I already own.
I feel like the actual "Hoarders" show used to be a pretty good educational tool in building awareness of the problem and offering understanding or advice for those suffering or on the verge. However the most recent season relied way too heavily on sensationalism and family drama. Once you've made poop-filled rooms the focal point of your show it's hard to go back!
Still, now that this is a recognized and named problem I think it makes moderate clutterbugs like myself more wary of keeping unused items. I also look in envy at some of the minimalistic homes on AT and frequently work to pare down my belongings.
I would like to add to this list of recommendations local libraries and used bookstores for letting go of unwanted media. Many stores pay cash and some libraries have donation or exchange bins.
Also look for construction/home improvement recyclers or salvage shops in your area for donating unused "basement" items like old light fixtures, paint and furniture.
People who have trouble decluttering aren't really hoarders...they're just unorganized clutterers. Real hoarders, like Jamieson said, are people who have mental illnesses. It's an easy comparison that most people make ("my mother is a hoarder!") but there should be a distinction because hoarders are people with real mental illnesses who need a lot of help. They physically cannot bring themselves to throw anything away - not only do most of them not even consider the notion that some things (or multiples of things) might not be helpful, the mere thought of someone else doing it brings them to mental breakdowns.
I agree with jamieson.
Hoarding is a mental illness. This is article is more appropriate to some one with simple clutter and disorganization issues, not true hoarding/squalor issues. Perhaps these tips could work with people who have the tendency and are self-aware enough to try to work on the problem.
@kfield Now that hanger tip is one I could really use! Thank you for sharing.
I think it helps if you don't give yourself a place to put the stuff. A smaller house or apartment does a decent job limiting you to stuff that fits. If you're contemplating a new set of drawers or shelves first consider what it is that you plan on storing. Maybe you should get rid of the stuff rather than buy a new organizing system (from the Container Store - which encourages organized hoarding rather than minimizing things).
I was raised a military brat and it can lend itself to extreme fear of too much stuff. Stuff that has to be packed, unpacked, and reorganized every other year. My husband always wants to keep stuff "just in case we need it later." I get rid of it, it stresses me out knowing it's there lurking.
ITA with @LINZEE - always ask if you need it vs want it when buying something.
And a good helpful philosophy to have is for every new thing you bring into the house, try to get rid of an old thing. That way you're adding to clutter, your recycling it and paying forward other things that maybe someone else will be able to use.
I watched a couple of Hoarder episodes (they were painful to watch). A lot of them became hoarders after having tough childhoods with caregivers who wouldn't let them keep anything or grew up very poor. My mother's a hoarder and I learned it was because she grew up during WWII when they didn't have much in Hong Kong. So being surrounded by things became an escape/cushion to offset that time.
There's an interesting article in the NY Times about children of hoarders and overall, they (like me) tend to be the extreme opposite-being very minimal. I think there's a tough balance between having nothing vs overwhelmed.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/12/garden/children-of-hoarders-on-leaving-the-cluttered-nest.html?pagewanted=all
I think there is a serious psychological/emotional component to hoarding. Hoarding isn't the opposite of minimalism. Minimalism is a style choice. Those people on hoarders aren't there because they have a big coffee table or an apple corer. It's easy to say "get rid of things you don't need" but sadly those people believe they *need* those items. I have a family member inclined towards hoarding. It's hard for some people to contemplate that just because they like something or its free doesn't mean it needs to be in their house.
I think it helps to have friends come over. If you don't want or have people over your house because of the way it looks you need to deal with your house issues.
I think it's good to think about what you love in your house and how to utilize your space to maximize what you love. I love shoes. I have a lot of very nice shoes. So I worked on paring down my possession so that I could devote an entire closet to my shoes and display them in an uncluttered way, arranged on shelves and organized. It is beautiful. There is even a rug in my shoe closet. I didn't decide I needed to be a person that needs 8 pairs of shoes instead of 80, rather I prioritized my storage and gave away/sold/donated about 30% of my shoes.
or you could just move every few years.... and due to laziness when moving, throw most of what you own out / sell it on craigslist to avoid having to move it
the term Hoarder here is not appropriate. as others have mentioned hoarding is a serious mental illness, not simply someone who are not sure what to do with all the mail that piles up.
Is this post about a tribute to the editor's enviable and clearly superior qualities as a tidy, non-TV watching minimalist? or is this supposed to be a guide to creating a clean and simple space? So hard to tell....
POSTED BY URBANCRICKET ON 06.14.12 AT 02:44PM
I snickered and agree with this comment.
Ha, JefferyK - I was thinking the same thing. There's a lot of ways to see a show (it would have been less weird to just say something like "I don't watch Hoarders, but..."
I guess people will just always love talking about not having a tv!
That said, good tips here (and in the comments). Some we've heard a hundred times, and some we haven't.
Although I agree that hoarding is a disease, there is a fine line, and one can go over the edge quickly, without realizing it. My mom was a hoarder, and yet you wouldn't know it unless you went to the upstairs of her home, in her late years. She kept up appearances quite well. Anyway... as I plan to be moving to Florida, and downsizing, I am emptying out many items, and the article and comments are an amazing help! Thanks to all! I believe in recycling, for sure! But I also am learning that sometimes things are ready to rest in peace. Please do be conscious of how you put out the trash, so the earth doesn't cry, but rather, smiles...
As someone who really struggles -- increasingly successfully -- with hoarder impulses, I'm going to defend this post. Yes, if you're in full-blown hoarding, you need counseling more than helpful tips; however, there are a ton of people who aren't that bad off (yet) but know they need to start setting some good habits to keep from ever reaching the danger zone. Ten years ago, when I was flat broke, I started skipping a couple meals a week to pay for a monthly cleaning service. I did it because I knew that, on my own, I was in danger of living in squalor, and I HAD to have an external check. Not only would the cleaning help on its own, but it would also force me to do some tidying to make things okay for the cleaners before they came. (Inviting friends over frequently = also helpful.) Now I have somebody come in once a week, even though I have a decade's worth of better habits under my belt ... because I KNOW, if I let it go, it could be extreme. Instead my house is so organized that my friends call it "the grown-up house" and think I'm a neat freak. It's because I don't have another setting between "neat freak" and "hoarder."
Regular purges of clothes, paperwork, etc. = a must. Frequent visitors = important. Restricting shopping = vital. (My big thing is that I virtually never allow myself to find a thing and buy it in the same trip. I have to remember that item, think about it and be sure I want it before I purchase. It's amazing how many "I gotta have it!" moments slip completely out of mind after half an hour.)
I don't think the opposite of hoarding has to be minimalism, though; it's just organization.
almondjoy- I appreciate that perspective. I just find it damaging to throw out mental illnesses to label normal behavior. Like suddenly someone that has a mood swing = manic depressive
Great and helpful post. Thank You .
Be careful, though - organization will only take you so far, and sometimes just provides the means by which you can hoard even more crap.
Organize what you really need. Don't turn to organization to simply facilitate storing more junk in your space.
Signed,
Been There, Done That, Got The 200 T-Shirts
Perhaps it would have been more helpful/interesting/relevant to have the post written by someone who DOES actually like having things around them? Then we could have read some real advice from someone trying to keep it to a minimum. A minimalist really cannot relate!
For those with piles of papers and no idea how to get started, this is how I handle things.
I'd go through the papers one by one and sort them into piles based on what they are (credit card statements/offers, utility bills, junk, etc). Then tackle each pile separately. Decide what, if anything needs to be kept. Anything with your information on it that you don't need anymore should be shredded. Recycle everything else. Things that you woudl like to keep should be filed away. Each category should get it's own folder or binder and must be labeled accordingly so when you need to refer back to it you know where to look.
Try and resist the urge to keep papers that have no use anymore. That old block party announcement, the invitation to the baby shower that happened 3 months ago...you get my drift. If you want to keep sentimental papers such as these they need to go into a special box and kept out of site.
Keep in mind that in nearly every situation this isn't something that will get done in one day. Tackle just one room or table at a time. If you do a little every day or even just once a week, eventually things will get under control!
There's a show that came out last year called Consumed, the first season is online (http://www.hgtv.ca/consumed/video.aspx), and I find it much more helpful and inspiring than Hoarders. There's lots of good tips for organization and how to get rid of things.
Hoarders stresses me out whereas this show just reminds me of how my house looks some days...
I think the need vs want argument oversimplifies things. By that logic, why have a coffee table when a cardboard box could hold up your drink and magazines? Why plant flowers when vegetables would be of more use?
It might apply for people with a true hoarding problem, but for the rest of us, I think it's more about weighing the benefits of an item against your desire for it. I by no means need a kitchen doodad that I just bought, but I think it will make for a fun cooking project the next time I visit my mom. Its benefit -- having some fun -- overrules the fact that I don't actually need it. If it turns out that I never use it again, then of course I'll give it away, but I hate being told that it was somehow bad for me to consume it in the first place since I don't really need it.
I have a real problem figuring out what papers to keep and for how long. Anyone know of a resource for this? Also, what should I do with pens/pencils/office supplies? The colored pencils/crayons/markers will be going to my church's day camp, but what about all those tiny binder clips and rubber bands? I have a copy paper box FULL of office stuff that I DO NOT NEED!
These are useful tips, but they are not anti-hording tips. They are anti-cluttering tips.
In a true hording situation, it's not a large piece of furniture that's blocking a walkway, it's piles and piles of "stuff." You can't get to the closets because of all the "stuff" blocking the way. It's not last season's clothing that needs to be gone through, it's years and years of clothes purchased because someone couldn't get to the washing machine to do laundry.
There's minimalism, there's "having some stuff around" (there doesn't seem to be a term for being between minimalism and clutter), there's clutter and there's hoarding. As someone who is not a minimalist, but is also decluttered and not a hoarder, I have to say it's getting a bit tiresome to be termed a hoarder just because I have more things than a minimalist does.
Move. A lot. I moved 4x in 3 years, and having to travel lighter was a blessing in disguise. Downsizing from a large home into a very small space forces us to look at the stuff we've accumulated and ask ourselves if we really need it. I found I did not, and in the process of shedding the weight, I found that I was happier. More freedom, more space, more peace.
I found the room itself lacking in style and warmth. Even a plant would make it better.
On-the-verge-of-hoarder here. I recently had my home appraised and was SO embarrassed by the interior snapshots in the appraiser's report. So cluttered with stuff! I suggest to anyone who is wondering whether they have too much: take random snapshots of your domicile, take a deep breath, and look at them -- enlarged -- on your desktop computer screen or television. Really look.
I have a sure-fire way to get rid of everything but the bare essentials in your life.
Get Divorced.
@urbancricket -- (smile)
Thank you to the folks that have correctly made the distinction between hoarding and simply having a bunch of stuff. I think that, while well-intentioned, the author of this post has managed to oversimplify the issue, rehash a bunch of "tips" most of us have seen before, and alienate those of us who prefer to live with evidence of a bountiful and enriching life. Bravo to @pipstar for suggesting that a non-minimalist offer her/his own opinion. Re: the photo, while it is a lovely, uncluttered room, there's more design cliches in that one photo than many of us care to live with, or can afford. Apologies if this seems harsh, but I guess I've hit my saturation point on the AT haters of clutter. Try having a kid, a dog, a honey, and a small home and not be living in what someone, somewhere will call clutterville.
In honor of this post, I'm going to watch the White Box episode of Ab Fab.
To really "Not Be A Hoarder"
Get rid of all-or-nothing thinking. Many hoarders have an extreme form of perfectionism that keeps them paralyzed. If it can't be done now, perfectly, without mistakes, then it doesn't get done.
Many people have said that having people over helps with clutter. It's true on a couple of levels. FIrst, there is the obvious benefit of external motivation - making the space nice for guests. Secondly, many hoarders are socially isolated which exacerbates the problem.
Deal with your underlying issues. If you are grieving, get counseling. If you are depressed, have PTSD, anxiety, OCD, ADD etc. get treatment. If you have financial trouble/debt issues, find relief. If you are If you have a chronic illness, find some one to help with household chores.
If something breaks, get it fixed ASAP. The longer you live in a less-than-ideal situation, the more acclimated you become. Many hoarders are incredibly adaptive to their circumstances and will live without water, heat, plumbing for years.
Get rid of shame. You are not your mess. Many hoarders secretly feel like they deserve to live that way. They feel that they are not good enough to inhabit nice places.
Also remember: Rome wasn't built in a day. If you are struggling with hoarding or squalor, it will take time to reclaim your space. Improvement is the goal, not perfection.
I too am an anti-hoarder, almost to the point of compulsion. But I think in my case I've gone a bit too far, and getting rid of stuff has become an obsession.
Tangentially, I just moved to Tokyo and was only able to bring 2 suitcases (+ 2 mailed boxes, 1 carry-on, and a yoga mat) worth of stuff. THAT was difficult. I'd been purging even more than usual for the entire previous year in anticipation. I got rid of so many toiletries, makeup, weird nutritional supplements- I went through everything and looked for expiration dates, and brought carloads to Goodwill. I put sticky notes on all of the pairs of shoes that I owned, and if I didn't wear them in 1 year, they had to go. All clothing was turned hanger-backwards, to the same end.
Of course, I don't recommend the "moving across the world to declutter" method because it means I'm going to have to re-buy a bunch of things that just weren't cost-effective to bring with me, but were perfectly good. They're waiting for me back in the US, as my move isn't permanent.
Having grown up with hoarder parents (children of the Depression) and a late bf who was also a hoarder, I'm very much on the anti- side. However, I agree with Bree that there's a difference between hoarding and having a bunch of stuff.
The number one strategy that helps me declutter is simple: Be realistic! When I'm honest with myself about my lifestyle, it helps me make those "keep or not to keep" decisions. I can admit to myself that if I didn't have time to read that magazine all month, I'm not going to get around to it. When I'm realistic about how much spare time I have, I prioritize better. As in, "I can make time to put this shoebox full of photos into an album, but I'm never going to sew these old tee shirts into a quilt".
The great thing about this approach is that as I let go of objects, I also let go of the expectations associated with them. I don't need to have all the tools at the ready for hobbies I might one day enjoy. It takes the pressure off of me, so I can focus on the things that are important to me now!
Great points. LHSIMM. They also play into what StudioStarter says -- the core of getting at hoarder tendencies is being honest with yourself, both on the larger psychological level and the more immediate, "I could use it, but will I?" sense.
I find that I accumulate a lot more clothing than I need. I filled five big bags of clothes that I am taking to a thrift store tomorrow It makes it easier to part with them because I know that my donation will help women who are victims of domestic violence. Maybe if you find a place/cause that you believe in, it will help you to clear your clutter. Good luck!
Is it about too much stuff? Is it about filling the void in your life with stuff? It's complex and I agree with many readers that people are quick to say 'I'm a hoarder' OR 'my mother is a hoarder'. As someone who works with people around their clutter I've only ever come across a true hoarder once, and I referred them to a professional therapist. It's out of the realm of most of us to deal with people in those situations.
As for clutter and reducing the stuff in your home - so many people want to, like the idea but just can't take the steps forward. My biggest tip is to take small steps towards reducing things. This nearly always proves to be the most successful strategies for people with alot of stuff to get rid of.
I too find the room in the photograph uninviting. The chairs look too uncomfortable to sit in and actually enjoy a meal; the "art" looks chosen to coordinate with the color scheme rather than being interesting. The pictures are also too small and hung too high. The curtains are also too small -- do they really cover the windows? They certainly don't look as though they do.
I am reminded of the Tati film "Mon Oncle", with the ultra modern house, so modern that upon entering it, he exclaims, "Mais, sais vide!" -- "But, it's empty".
And yes, we don't care whether you own a TV or not. Some people still enjoy beautiful things, comfortable chairs, and even watching TV. I am more impressed with the poster who manages to enjoy her shoe collection and curate it and keep it under control at the same time. And to those brave souls who move, whether it's within NYC or to Japan,I applaud you for traveling light.
However, yes, letting go of things can be very, very hard. Even if you can let go of, oh, used paper plates, even if you regularly recycle and put out the trash, even donate to thrift shops, it can seem impossible to get rid of something that belonged to your grandparents, even if you don't have room for it, or your parents, or someone else who's gone. A little sympathy for those of us with actual feelings would be appreciated.
I agree that true hoarding is a mental illness, but I disagree that minimalism is just a choice of style. I would say it is a philosophy of life too. It is not merely an aesthetic, and you miss part of the point if that is all you take from minimalism. It is about living with less, more simply, and embracing that emptiness - because it can, for some people, allow them to live more fully and more happily.
I would really love to be as minimal as your picture represents but I really can't do it with a kid. I have always been someone with barely anything compared to everyone else in my life but with my 4 year old I have had to compromise. I still manage to pull of minimal to some extent but I wish it could be even less. He has quite a few toys but I manage to organise them quite well but I guess compared to some kids he is a minimal child!
Great tips..I think I am going to make another effort to cut down!
@good pr - take a pile of paper each night and while you watch tv or listen to music sort the pile. Put the rubbish pile straight into the recycling bin and immediately file the must keeps. Pay the bills you find the next day and bin or file straightaway.
I have a hoard (in the treasure sense) of items and the tools to make them into useful objects for myself or others. It's organized, it's not in my way, and I think of it in terms of being my own selection of natural resources, like unfelled forests or unmined minerals. I have antique and vintage fabrics and trims, threads in just about any colour, buttons, bobbles, beads, exotic woods, interesting metals, well you get the picture. Occasionally I even (gasp! horrors!) ADD to the hoard! Sometimes I have "just what you need" to pass on to a friend. My costume and accessories collection is in great demand at Halloween and it makes me happy to outfit my friends and family. Minimalism is fine if it works for you but it's not a virtue in and of itself. It's almost a cult with some people. If having objects makes you happy and it's not a health or safety issue you don't need to feel guilty or inadequate. It's OK, really. If the stuff bugs you then definitely get rid of it but if that's not what's really bugging you then getting rid of stuff won't be the magic bullet that makes you happy.
Interesting post. I suspect there is something even more alarming than piles of stuff here. I was awakened to that when people kept asking my mother (in this working class community where she bought her last home) what her collections were. She was puzzled by this for awhile and then stated "money." She technically never made more than minimum wage, but she ALWAYS paid herself first (saving) and was very aware of the power of cash, and she had a pretty good pile of it. I really believe that is something that is missing in the American psyche. There is value in being responsible for oneself and living well. BTW, we lived very well in a large home that was paid for by the time the last brick was laid, and we drove a Packard in the late 50's. AND there was never an expenditure for alcohol or cigarettes. It's all a question of priorities, and financial security was very important to my semi-literate, somewhat autistic mother. This post makes me grateful for her example.
Oh yes, and my father was a semi-literate alcoholic she pulled up by his suspenders and he became a believer in her frugal but goal-setting ways.
@Esotericara - Every charity has an office. Just find one you like and drop off a box of office supplies.
I wouldn't even consider myself borderline hoarder, but I do have a definite tendency to accumulate. My rooms in college tended to have a thin layer of stuff on the floor at all times, more because I didn't bother to put it away than because I didn't have space (although both were true). I finally managed to kick the accumulation urge in my early 20s, and have spent the last 5 years slowly trying to get myself to throw things away or not replace them.
The trick that finally worked for me was to accept that it was never going to happen all at once. I like to hold on to things. I have a hard time letting go of things that once held meaning. I finally accepted last year that if what I had to do was get rid of things one layer at a time, that was okay. Now, I work on it when I'm motivated and just refuse to accumulate useless things in the meantime. I'm still a cluttered person, which is hard because I really prefer to at least have a clear floor (an eye-blink state at the moment), but the volume of stuff is constantly going down.
What's really rough is that my roommate is a minimalist - keeping my clutter off the common areas is a losing battle.
@HZL-I agree that minimalism is more than a decorating choice. But I'm tired of minimalists criticizing the way other people live, just because they own a little more than the absolute minimal. "Oh, look at the clutter!" when there a a book, a mug and a phone on the coffee table. Or even, "Oh, there's a coffee table! I got rid of mine years ago and now I feel so free!" when said to the owners of said coffee table.
Minimalism is fine and it works for many people. But like anything, it can be taken to an extreme. I've been in minimalist spaces where there is no place to set down a drink, no comfortable chair to sit in and loud, echo-y spaces, because adding fabric in the form or curtains or rugs would ruin the minimalist vibe. There's a lot of free space, but not a lot of comfort. Not all minimalists are like this, of course.
But the constant criticism of what most people would consider a normal amount of belongings is getting tiring. Being a minimalist is not better or worse than having a little clutter. It's just a different way of life. And as with any way of life, constant preaching about it may not win you any friends.
I guess for me, minimalism is a nice place to visit, to see what can be done, but I wouldn't want to live there. Same with clutter. Things are nice, but they need to be kept under control.
My two mantras:
1) Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.
2) A place for everything and everything in its place.
Together, they do the trick. It is a continuing process, though.
@XARCADY - I agree! And that's actually one of the biggest failings of home decor sites. They can be extremely unfriendly because everyone has their own opinion of what is good, or bad, or best, to the extent that people aren't even allowed to express their perfectly reasonable questions. One of my go-to example is the classic, "where do I put the TV?" question. Instead of acknowledging that a TV is part of the question asker's life, you'll get 10 pretentious posts saying, "don't have a TV" or "get rid of it" or "somewhere else." Well, excuse me - here I thought someone was asking a question, not asking for a completely irrelevant opinion.
@esotericara - Schools can almost always office stuff, particularly binder clips [they're expensive and they get lost]. You could drop the box off at a school this summer or at the beginning of the week that teachers are required to report back [not once kids get there--everyone has bought supplies by then, generally speaking]. Community centers and nonprofits also would probably be grateful for a donation.
My grandparents were hoarders - true hoarders, not just clutterbugs. When visiting their house, you had to follow tiny paths through the stuff and keep your elbows in. They had things piled to the ceiling in every room, dressers on top of dressers, china cabinets full of stacks and stacks of vintage and antique china, closets stuffed with clothing and textiles the attic and basement so full that you could only stand on the tiny sliver of stairs and peer into them, realizing that there was no path, only boxes upon boxes. It was scary. It felt dangerous - if there were a fire, you would be trapped.
It took my family a year to sort through all the stuff after they died. At first it was kind of exciting - they were antique dealers so there was so much good furniture and scores of vintage household goods. But, oh how that excitement faded after we realized how sad it was and how the "stuff" had really entrapped them, physically and emotionally.
After that experience every member of my immediate family has gone through major purges. I have become a regular anti-hoarder: every month I sweep through the house, looking in closets and drawers and corners, and asking myself what I can get rid of. My house looks nothing like the picture in this article - I like a little more softness and cush, so I have rugs and a throw pillow or two - but it is tidy and there's lots of room to live. It helps that the house is small, only 1000 sq ft. Every room gets used every day. The couch gets used everyday, as does the desk, dining table, bookshelves and beds. I do not have lots of tschotkes or knick-knacks, but the few items I do have on display have earned their place in my home. And my furniture is really nice, thanks to grandma and grandpa. :)
I am very sentimental so it has always been hard to get rid of things for me. Recently I have found that if I picture the person who might use a various item that it makes me feel better. Examples. I give my old clothes to my collage student friend who gives what she doesn't want to D.I. and I picture a cute little girl loving the beanie babies I collected as a child when I drop them off at D.I.. This way I feel better because I know someone will still be using them. Silly I suppose, but it has helped to get allot of things out of my house that I are truly clutter.
My mother is a hoarder. So nice that it's compounded by longtime bipolar ... Not. My brother and I have tried everything short of going to court. It's really rough. I'm not a minimalist but I am orderly, and seeing what this illness does has made me reassess my attachment to... Well, everything.
I got a good laugh when I noticed the ads in the middle of the comments on my screen:
1. OCD therapy
2. Professional organizing
3. Signs of depression
Have not made my way through all these comments, but zerowastehome.com is a good blog for those looking to pare down. The woman who writes it is compulsively neat (in my opinion) but in a good way and with beautiful results.
The anti-tv brigade crack me up. Whether you own an actual tv set says nothing about your actual viewing habits these days, since virtually everything can be watched over the net.
I don't have the luxury of a big, new, high-res Mac screen or a Netflix account, and watching shows over the internet chews huge amounts of my prepaid broadband credit. So yeah, I have a tv; doesn't mean I spend any more time goggle-eyed in front of a screen than all the hipster minimalists.
As for hoarding: I'm the anti-hoarder, but yes, it can be taken too far. I've thrown out then re-bought things, more times than I can count.
@susannemuc: that is actually a quote by William Morris, please give credit. :)
I agree with what others have said: Hoarders have a serious mental illness with regard to things and possessions. Most of us? Just have more than we really need. Do I NEED an appliance that makes mini cupcakes? I don't, some people think they do. But I can certainly live without it.
When I think I need containers to "organize" my stuff, I re-evaluate if I even need those things I want so bad to put in a pretty little box or storage tub. I'm so glad I have learned to ask myself questions about the things I own. I just wrote a post about this on my blog!
<http://somethingsmellscrafty.blogspot.com/2012/06/its-been-long-long-time-since-i-posted.html>
I work with these simple ideas: If it isn't useful in some way, I don't need it. I don't need or want two of anything (except shoes and purses of course) Things should be stored where they are used. So don't put the ironing board far from where ironing takes place. If attractive storage locations are designed and everything is labeled, then it is more likely to stay nice over time.
A question--how long do you keep your reciepts? I have heard 5 and 8 years for IRS purposes. Boxes and boxes of reciepts (which can prove the point of the crap that inhabits my closets :-O
It's keeping up with the routines after organizing that I find hard. We have a new baby and god, my desk...
I'm glad @recycleg linked to that article about children of hoarders.
My house is 1200 square feet, has no garage, and no closets and I don't let myself go near garage sales, the flea market, or Craig's List because I'm scared I'll end up with 'the greatest flea market on earth' in my living room (to quote a friend of my parents). I purge a bit too much, all the time.
Envying all you people with parents who have a couch you can sit on, and a lifetime of keeping it that way for you to emulate. Also having people over. Lucky, lucky you!
The 2 things that keep me from getting rid of stuff I'm not currently using (or maybe have never used at all!) are:
--the thought: "But I paid MONEY for that."
and
--the thought "I'll use that someday" (get back to making jewelry or doing crafts or whatever, after the condo improvements are made, etc., or that one day my 2 cats will fall back in love with certain beds or cat toys they used to like)
I don't know what the "cures" are for those 2 thoughts. I donate some things to Salvation Army and give away other things on Freecycle, but I could stand to get rid of a lot of costume jewelry that no longer suits me, but I keep thinking: I could sell these on eBay or etsy! (but is it worth the hassle to do so?)
And I say "2 thoughts," but really, at the root of it all, I believe that one thought - the money that I spent for the things -- is what compels me to keep them.
@URBANCRICKET LOL. And I agree with others, minimalism is in itself not a virtue. Anyway, clutter is something I battle with. I just chalk it up to not having enough space. I'm in denial. :(
I have to say I'm really impressed with the comments here. I've had a hoarder in my family -- and occasionally fight mental battles with myself. I see comments elsewhere that simply chalk it up to being lazy, slobs, etc etc. It's often viewed as an easy fix if the person would just read an article or get up and get busy. A great book on the topic for anyone concerned about themselves, a friend or a family member is Buried in Treasures by Dr. David Tolin.
@octobersmoon - it should be written "c'est vide" (although the pronunciation is the same) and I second everything else you said in your comment!
Hoarding is not synonymous with being disorganised. It's not very constructive just telling people to bin/donate their stuff (a constant refrain on AT). I come here to see how other people organise their possessions to create a functional, yet beautiful home environment, ie, good design. More often than not, the spaces featured are staged and practically devoid of any sign of real life (reading, watching TV, sporting activities, collections, kids' activities), and the above photo is a prime example.
@Sharmin
Yes, it does make it more pleasant to "get rid" of things by donating them to places where they will be used and appreciated.
Business clothes to CareerCloset, where low-income women get interview outfits.
Bedding to my local women's shelter.
Kitchen items to my college-age relatives furnishing apartments.
Seldom-used shoes and sweaters to a tribal reservation.
In my neighborhood everything else goes to Vietnam Veterans of American because they helpfully pick up in a truck.
Etc.
Plus, I clean my pantry the first week of every November and everything close to an expiration date goes to a Thanksgiving food drive.
I once had a tenant who was allegedly disabled, with a steel rod in her spine. It certainly gave me something to think about when I caught her dragging a contractors' bag stuffed with telephone books up to her third floor apartment. (Where she put them I can't imagine, as her apartment was a warren of pathways so narrow you had to walk through them sideways.) This story did not have a happy ending, but I mention it to emphasize the difference between being a slob and being profoundly ill. In her case, the dialogue with self would have gone: Q: "Do I really need these thirty gigantic telephone books?" A: "YES! NEED! NEED!"
My number one tip is to think of things in terms of how much life energy they rob from you. If something requires washing, dusting, assembly, repair, ironing, worrying, storing or any other form of maintenance, it's got to be really special to keep or buy in the first place!
Need is a dirty word. you need food, you need shelter, you need air. you don't need anything else. you want things. if we want things, we justify their benefit to the house as a whole, if we can't justify their benefit we don't buy them..
we don't have crap all over the place. we use the bulk of what we have. our house is easy to clean. if we buy something we generally get rid of something (sell, donate, throw away).
"Clutter is the poetry of our homes."
-- Mary Randolph Carter
@ALMONDJOY - I am contemplating hiring a cleaner, for the same reasons as you, and then I will be able to have friends over regularly like I used to (due to my current mess I haven't invited anyone over for a year). Like you, I will probably have to skip some meals to afford a cleaner but it will be worth it. Thank you for your post - it really struck a cord, especially the comment about not having another setting between "neat freak" and "hoarder."
@PIPSTAR and @BREEJASPER, I think ALMONDSTAR is the contributor you seek.
@LHSIMM and @STUDIOSTARTER - great advice.
Oops, I meant ALMONDJOY not ALMONDSTAR.
I'm with those who have noted that true "hoarders" need therapy and/or medication to stop in most instances. I usually describe it as the difference between a "hoarder" and a "packrat." You describe someone who just needs to get better at editing, not someone who is mentally ill.
Since I have a parent who is a legitimate hoarder, I always try to make the distinction because I feel like confusing what you are talking about with hoarding kind of minimizes what my family is dealing with here.
All that said, as a child of a hoarder, I throw away EVERYTHING. I hear that's common, I just never want to have to navigate piles of junk. And I shred mail the same day I get it.
@ MaroonWildCat
It may seem obvious to some people to point this out, but others really have no idea so I am just going to tell it all.
For IRS purposes, you only need to keep receipts for things that you plan to claim on your taxes, like purchases made for your job & charitable donations. If you bought a sweater last November and have already worn and washed it, there is no reason to keep the receipt. Basically, receipts for everyday things do not need to be kept.
You may also want to keep receipts for big purchases like home appliances or furniture (especially if there is a warranty associated with it). If you don't already have a document or folder for insurance purposes, this might be a good time to start one! If (god forbid) anything was to happen to your home like a fire or flood you would be able to show the insurance company when and what you paid for your items.
I have always heard that 7 years is the rule when it comes to tax and financial documents. What my grandparents do that I think it quite smart is create a binder for each year. They put all their bank statements and tax documents into each years' binder. After each tax year they get rid of the earliest binder and start one for the next year. That way there are only ever 7 binders. As far as I know, they've never had to refer to the binders after they did their taxes but I guess better safe than sorry!
Pearmelon-You have a good point. It is important to empty the home of things that are no longer or never were needed, but that doesn't address what is left. I am a natural organizer who donates regularly. To keep what is left in good order, I completely empty the closets on a rotating basic to re-stack, sort, and discard what is not used. To keep things neat and organized around the house, I use silver salvers next to my bed, and on my tables in the living room. I keep all my mess on the tray, glasses, books, plates, whatever is brought out for use goes on the tray. Then I can carry the tray to the kitchen to clear it, and put everyone on it away, and start again. It protects the surfaces of all my pieces, and again, confines the mess to one location for easy clean up.
I think this article is mislabeled - it should be called "How to be a minimalist". Better advice for non-minimalists would be on how to decide what to let go (e.g. how long should you keep receipts?), how to deal with the emotional side of letting go AND - most importantly - how to coral what stuff you have left (because it is OK to have stuff). Like @Pipstar said, it would be more relevant if the post was written by somebody who actually likes stuff.
Like all things in life moderation is key. Being obsessed with stuff isn't healthy either way - whether you are obsessed with accumulating it or throwing it out.
I also wonder how all these minimalist decorating ideas work for the experiences minimalists like to spend their money on - how could you have the experience of a great dinner party in that dining room pictured above? Or are all of those experiences supposed to happen outside of the house?
@ octobersmoon - and we know who the hero is in Mon Oncle. It's not the modern minimalist with their perfect house :-) The ideas to get rid of side tables and line furniture up against walls sounds perfectly Mon Oncle too!
@MelissaM - here is how I get over the "But I paid money for this": First off, the money is already spent, and it is not going to come back regardless of what I do. If I don't use the item, nobody benefits from the money spent, so it was completely wasted. If I give the item to somebody who will use it, at least somebody benefits from the money.
A great way to get yourself to give away things is to start by giving some if the nicer stuff to friends. Once you get used to parting with things, it'll get easier
I didn't think my house was cluttered, but it did have more stuff than I needed...I had downsized from a single family home to a condo because I didn't use half the rooms.. That forced me to get rid of allot of stuff, but I still hung on to more than I needed. I started to slowly get rid of stuff again like the VCR I never use, the nic nacs that I liked, but didn't love, if I haven't used it in a year it's gone.. I got a shredder and got rid of my mortgage papers from my first house etc... The more I do the better I feel about it and the stuff I love stands out. I realized if it is out of the house I don't miss it.
@rustypatina - love that quote!
Isn't the "I don't have a TV" thing kind of obsolete? I don't have one either but there are certainly things I watch online that are technically TV shows. I don't say that anymore because realized I can't really say that with a straight face anymore or use it as a marker of how cool and non-consumerist I think I am.
@HHRI, coming to terms with "money is already spent, and it is not going to come back regardless of what I do" is what finally convinced me to let go of some furniture that simply don't fit the square footage of my new condo. I can attest that giving the nicer things to friend and family helps alot. This weekend I'm hauling my big beautiful sofa (sniff) to my sister's farm. Now that I wrote this, I just realized it seemed kind of ridiculous that I the single gal has a three-seat sofa but my sister's family of 5 have two love seats but no sofa to stretch out on? Yup, this is the right decision.
Regarding the "but I paid good money for that" arguments, don't forget that most charities / non-profits will give you a tax-exempt donation form. I think donations only reduce your taxes if you exceed an overall threshold for that tax year, but if you're purging some good quality things with decent resale value, it can add up. Even if you're purging a lot of small things, it can still add up - if twice a year you can find 25 things (knick-knacks, clothes, unloved books) you would price for $2 each, that's $100 toward your tax deduction.
In the last days of my very wonderful orange cat's life, he decided to forego the litter box. This was a *very* serious mess that was thankfully confined to just one room of the house - my study. The result was that I took literally everything out of the room, thoroughly cleaned and fumigated it, and then challenged myself as to what I really wanted to put back in. The result was a lot less clutter and a more enjoyable room. I'm looking at the study I'm in now, (different house) and find that a bit of clutter has crept in. Could do the same thing over.
I'm going to gloss over all the TV or not TV comments, the DSM definition of hoarding as a subset of OCD, the photos that look like a stage set and probably my better judgement in keeping this comment string alive.
I'm going to say that decluttering and organization only work to scale back if you keep it cleared.
It is fine to have what YOU need (separate rom wants), even if that means you have 10 shirts instead of six.
I think if books make you happy, and you truly read them, for reference or pleasure, keep your books. My collection is mixed. Some are electronic. Same with my music, although that is a conversion process more than a plan on keeping anything other than signed CDs.
It is OK to have one multiuse back up cord.
Heck, I still have my first film camera.
But hoarding is also keeping things of no perceived value (perception of outsiders).
Don't keep the broken item the now multiuse cord came from.
Don't keep the random 1998 magazine.
Keep the one with your feature.
One rule I use to purge- How likely am I to use this item again and how much does it cost to replace? If I throw out the cord to something and years later I need it. I go to the thrift store and buy it. It is worth the risk of a couple dollars for me not to have it in my home. I don't have to look at, organize, and find it when I need it. This works for alot of household stuff, clothes, kitchen stuff, et
I am not a minimalist, but I'm not a hoarder. Some of the things I do to minimize clutter are:
1. Throw away junk mail asap.
2. When I bring something in, something else goes out.
3. Purge and shred old bills.
4. Will be going through some drawers and files to rid myself of old catalogues and magazines.
My bf has some hoarding tendencies. When I find piles of grocery store circulars hidden in a drawer I start to worry. But he does let me throw them out so I guess he doesn't really fit the definition of hoarder.
On the brighter side, his family hangs onto a lot more than mine does. So we still have his childhood Star Wars toys. I don't have anything from my childhood and I'm guessing my parents thought it was junk at some point and got rid of it. Sometimes I worry I might end up throwing something out that my kids will want or that I might find value in again.
I'm a records manager, and here's what we recommend in general for holding onto personal records (note - these timelines may vary depending on your needs/industry/etc.):
-- Birth, marriage, or death certificate; adoption or custody papers; citizenship papers; divorce or separation papers; property settlement agreements; will; military papers; passports; social security card; diplomas and transcripts: keep permanently
-- Real property deeds, title papers, abstracts, mortgage and other lien documents: duration of ownership + 10 years, provided any action relating to legal matters pertaining the property has been completed
-- Burial lot deed; tax assessment notices, purchase contracts or records of capital improvements; motor vehicle titles, purchase receipts, licenses and registration: duration of ownership
-- Stocks, bonds and other securities: duration of ownership provided taxes due or losses claimed have been calculated and reported to the IRS
-- Bank statements and cancelled checks: 3 years, but check with your banking institution about their policy on how long they retain electronic copies of statements and cancelled checks
-- Insurance policies and records of claims made: permanent or until superseded (IMO, these should be permanent)
-- Tax records: 7 years
-- Medical insurance: 5 years from date of service
-- Warranty documents: life of object
-- Home repair bills and contracts: 10 years
-- Pay stubs: keep last statement; an annual statement should be retained with tax records for 7 years
-- Credit card statements: Most current 3 months unless used for documentation of deductions for tax purposes, and those should be retained with the tax records for 7 years
-- ATM receipts: until verified on the bank statement
-- Utility bills: most recent 3 months. Recommendation is to retain an updated list of your utility history, rental history, etc. for reference purposes.
We're pretty cluttered, but what I've found really helps keep us in line is being part of the Couchsurfing community.
Nothing makes you want to present your house in a cute and clean way more then having a stranger living in it for a few days! We usually don't take 'last minute' requests because of our schedules, but if we know a week or two in advance we go into super clean mode and suddenly we start finding stuff like junk mail everywhere and end up taking several trips to the recycling bin every time. Its amazing how fast that stuff adds up!
There are things we'd like to chuck even though we feel some emotional attachment to them. Consider taking a picture of those things. That helped me. A little later, my next step was to donate them.
Lessons in Letting Go by Corrine Grant is a great book by a 30 something real person and is a personal account from a real person about the emotional effect of hoarding papers and all those other things that burden us. There are degrees of hoarding and the people who don't do their dishes, have food waste in the home and clutter to the ceiling just can't clean up after themselves.
People like Corrine (and to a degree myself) will fold, file, organise & straighten up their "stuff". They still do the dishes and clean their homes but have 60L plastic bins they'll "get to" someday.
After cleaning out my father's home of 45 years, I now say to myself - if I died tomorrow, would this item/paperwork etc be a burden for my family to deal with?
Anyone on here have advice for parting with CDs and books? Those are two of the hardest types of items for me to let go of, but I am planning a big move in about a year and know I'll have to purge.
Also--advice for getting rid of well-meaning gifts that I'll never use but would feel guilty not keeping?
Contemplating something here, maybe it's already been mentioned, not sure. BUT if people have parents who are "hoarders" (because of coming from poverty, or living through a war, etc), & the children (y'all) of those hoarding parents are all about "minimalizing", so as to NOT be hoarders like the parents, then does that mean children of minimalists will grow up to be hoarders? (BTW, not sure if "minimalizing" is an actual word, or did I just do a "Colbert" and invent a new word?) AND I think time has come for a new TV show called "Extreme Minimalists!" Each week a family will be featured who are so addicted to purging that they try to out do each other by living with as little as possible, & making do with as little as possible (like using twist ties for shoe laces, & making socks out of old pairs of underpants, that sort of thing). All the while, to the outside world they go about looking like a "normal" family in a regular house. (I am copyrighting my TV show plot at this very moment! I think I am on to something!)
The comments were more interesting to read. I agree that I'd rather hear from the experience of someone who maintains tidiness in a messy home on a regular basis (including the failures) than an affirmed tidy-freak or minimalist. I got the best everyday tips from the readers than the post.
1. hang the coat-hangers backward.
2. sticky notes.
3. can how I reuse/upcycle - my old bookcase is now in the wardrobe to give extra shelving.
I've listened to a great radio interview with Corinne Grant, who is an Australian Comedian and TV panelist. The link is http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2010/10/18/3041212.htm
I've recently starting noting what items of clothing I'm wearing in my daily journal. That way, I can ditch clothing that I either don't wear or don't feel comfortable wearing with ease when the season ends. There are also apps that help you do the same thing using photographs, but I'm just not up to that level of organization right now -- a simple list works for me. I've also taken to wearing an ID bracelet with the word "simplify" written on it on my right hand. Seeing that keeps me from reaching for impulse buys in stores or clicking on them online. It's worked great so far!
I've watched the American TV program Hoarders and I have to admit, it's a bit of a rush job. One always feels like they've just given the shoot-time a month and nothing has really been resolved. I believe the journey of recovery hasn't really happened and it's all a bit hopeless. I found, on the other hand, programs on channel 4 (British TV), take a lot more time on the person's journey and have better resolution.
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-hoarder-next-door
Another great program was 'Get your House in Order' that makes shopaholics that are turning into hoarders look at all the crap they've bought and the money they've wasted.
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/get-your-house-in-order/4od
Since my divorce three years ago, my once lovely guest bedroom has become a catch all for everything! You cannot see the queen size bed for the piles of storage boxes, lawn and garden bags full of clothing, books, toys (my daughter is now 11) also must step over things on the floor--there's not even a path anymore.It stresses me to see it. I'll feel better when it's cleaned.I think my #1 problem is laziness -- after a stressful day at work (age 50, low pay, fast pace job w/ 2 very young, "catty" co workers)--I'm exhausted and turn a blind eye.#2 - I have an inward fear that I will "need" something after I get rid of it and #3 - I want to make $ selling some of those things (mint toys, nice clothing), but haven't done it yet.
Would you guys consider this the beginning stages of a mental illness?
From another recent "decluttering" post, I'll reiterate here a list of items that I'm glad I have hoarded and not binned:
Vintage clothes that belonged to myself or other family members that my kids enjoy wearing
Antique linens that I use every day, and wash beautifully
Linn Sondek turntable and my vinyl collection, even compilation tapes (again, of interest to my kids now)
Pokemon cards that will be ebayed soon - the early ones are now quite collectable
Children's school work and art work (selected pieces, of course). I recently looked through one of my son's old school books with him - it was a great reminder of happy events and friends from his childhood.
Antique books that are lovely objects
Old kitchen tools/equipment/glass - lovely, well-designed things like the zig-zag corkscrew and champagne coupes that I no longer see in the shops
Corks that have marked birthdays and other special occasions - they sit in a giant wine glass in my kitchen, and remind me of happy times
I don't think I have an excessive amount of things, and it would be nice to have a post that shows clever ways to store, organise and display our belongings, even if it might be considered sentimental clutter.
Sorry, had a problem with this, here it is again:
From another recent "decluttering" post, I'll reiterate here a list of items that I'm glad I have hoarded and not binned:
Vintage clothes that belonged to myself or other family members that my kids enjoy wearing
Antique linens that I use every day, and wash beautifully
Linn Sondek turntable and my vinyl collection, even compilation tapes (again, of interest to my kids now)
Pokemon cards that will be ebayed soon - the early ones are now quite collectable
Children's school work and art work (selected pieces, of course). I recently looked through one of my son's old school books with him - it was a great reminder of happy events and friends from his childhood.
Antique books that are lovely objects
Old kitchen tools/equipment/glass - lovely, well-designed things like the zig-zag corkscrew and champagne coupes that I no longer see in the shops
Corks that have marked birthdays and other special occasions - they sit in a giant wine glass in my kitchen, and remind me of happy times
I don't think I have an excessive amount of things, and it would be nice to have a post that shows clever ways to store, organise and display our belongings, even if it might be considered sentimental clutter.
A home filled with fine things is not "cluttered." Curated collections give their owners pleasure. Clutter is worthless junk and things purchased to fill space rather than give a person pleasure or that have meaning. You do not need to be a minimalist in order to live a life without clutter. My art, small objects,books and antiques give me pleasure and display to others facets of my personality. My furniture, many of the pieces I have had for 35 years, is versatile and has been used in many ways. My home is full and everything in it has meaning for me. I recently moved to a much smaller condo but was able to keep most of my furniture and art and almost all of my books. My kitchen is where I weeded out most of the things I didn't need anymore because the space changed the way I use it. I agree that you shouldn't have anything you don't love or use. I just have many loves.
I've adopted the one thing in/two things leave plan. Also, what a writer referred to as the "catch and release" program. StuffI don't need or want anymore either goes to trash, charity or to the stack of stuff for a yard sale. I try to price the yard sale items as they are added to the stack. If we decide not to have a sale, the items go to Goodwill by the end of summer.
Also, just because you inherit something, you do not need to keep it if you don't like it. Mom had me look at family heirlooms and if I didn't want an item, she sold it on eBay and made herself some $! She is very happy that she now has less clutter too.
Those chairs are fantastically comfortable. I stayed at a place found through Airbnb which had those chairs and I loved them so much I wanted to shove them into my suitcase and take them home with me. Anyone know where they're from?
@ Chavelle, Mental illness? Lazy? Good grief NO! You'd probably be mentally ill if you DIDN'T feel stress & overwhelmed after a divorce, raising an 11 year old, long work hours with low pay, etc. BUT the fact that you asked AND you have recognized that a problem is on the horizon AND have an idea about what needs to be done shows that you are ready to make the move. First off, I'd say that it's high time for your 11 year old daughter to pitch in & take some responsibility. Toys & books no longer being played with & read? You are 50 and are probably not going to have any more kids so you don't "need" those toys any more. Yard sale!!! And let your daughter keep the money for a big event she may want- pizza party, sleep over, movie with the girlfriends, etc. I did this with my daughter and she held onto that money for a long time until she knew exactly what she wanted to buy with it- a summer archaeology camp. (A sleepover could be a good motivator to get that guest room cleaned out!) Everyday just go in that room and take out one thing and get rid of it! Each day will get easier & you can take more items. Can't do that? Then invite a friend over & tell them to go in & take one item out of the room while you are in another room. Tell them to take it outside, put it in their car & either keep it or drop it at goodwill or whatever. Bet you will struggle to figure out what they took out! If later you "need" that item, just get one from freecycle or borrow from a neighbor or friend. (I only occasionally need a food processor, so I borrow my neighbor's and give her a bit of whatever it is I made). Sometimes, in a situation like yours, it is just better to purge it all & then replace ONLY the things you REALLY need. More often than not you could make do without. A lot of people are good at selling stuff on ebay or craigslist. BUT if you are the type of person who is exhausted, lazy, or a procrastinator then selling stuff on ebay just becomes ANOTHER job or thing you HAVE to do. Screw it! The amount of money you'd make isn't equal to the time & energy spent! Your daughter is 11. She is old enough to recognize there are many people living without basic needs, Having her go with you to drop stuff off for the homeless or battered women's shelters, animal shelters, etc is a good opportunity for you both to do something bonding & constructive together helping others. (You might even meet someone! You've been divorced for 3 years. There is more to life than a junk filled guest room & catty co workers!) I know from experience. My daughter & I both took things to shelters & now she is an adult working in human services helping homeless women & children get back on their feet. Everyone wins! Good luck, Chavelle. Hope my advice helps a bit.
These are statements I read or heard that helped me see the light and want to make changes so I could live an easier life and not spend so much time fretting about keeping things organized, papers filed. It became too much. I knew my habits were not working for me but hard to conquer impuse and faulty thinking. I hope one of them will get someone else's attention and be helpful.
Pain is the great motivator And boy did I begin to feel the pain.
We don't change when we see the light....we change when we feel the heat. I knew better a long time before the heat got very uncomfortable.
What if the ony thing you throw away is your life?! Major one for me.
Defend your limitations long enough and you get to keep them. Heard that a long time ago. I learned to be brutally honest about what was not working for me. Challenge yourself, dont put up a defense against why you do it....at least not to yourself.
Keep some empty places in your house, your heart, your life, so God, or whatever Power you believe in, can put good things in. I was overwhemed trying to keep up, keep my house in order. Too much time and discomfort. I wanted an easier life, more freedom to spend time on other worthwhile or pleasant activities.
A wonderful designer reminded me: Every thing you add to your rooms either adds or subtracts from good design. Not many things are neutral in efffect.
I know that people who are commenting are not true hoarders but I have realized that our habits are moving us in one direction or another. We are generally not standing still.
After feeling the pain, I realized that I needed to gain some understanding of the faulty thinking that was driving me. If you just start with the stuff, but don't change your thinking, you are not likely to get anywhere in really changing things. I listened to tapes, read books, really worked at gaining insight. A couple of paragraphs in a book by Barbara Sher struck me.....suddenly I realized why I collected many of the things I had.
I finally cleaned out my house last year before putting it on the market. I was ready. I cannot tell you the relief, the peace, the sense of accomplishment. So proud of my efforts. Every load that went out the door brought me a good feeling.
I am now about to do another sweep. I ran out of time and energy last year. I look forward to making more progress. I never want to believe that I can't improve, make better decisions, live smarter. Good luck to you if you are on this path. Keep going. It's worth it. I'm not perfect....I have my moments, but doing so much better, breathing easier. And remember....you don't have to organize it if you get rid of it! Or dust it, or move it, or find a place to put it. Onward!
Don't buy anything unless you need it AND you love it. If it isn't perfect for you, don't bring it in your home. Try to get things that are functional and attractive. If they are multipurpose, better yet.
Re-edit your belongings periodically. Ask if you still need things, love them, and if they are stored in the room where you use them.
Most people own way too many clothes. If you buy new clothes, donate an equivalent item from your existing wardrobe.
Chavelle, I held onto way too many clothes for a while fearing I would miss something if I let it go. Really, I don't remember anything I put in the bags and wound up giving to Goodwill. If you've had the pieces 10 years, you got your money's worth, just let them go. I think even having a room like that would subtly cause you stress. If you have a consignment shop nearby, spend a day getting the clothing ready and take them, THAT DAY. Get your camera out and take pictures of what you want to sell and get it on the web THAT DAY. Make a couple of bags for Goodwill just to get stuff out, and take it THAT DAY. Dragging it out only makes it more painful. Make a list, and gradually it will get done, the important thing is just to get started. It doesn't sound like you should be worried that you may have the beginning of a mental illness, unless maybe you struggle with mild depression. You just have an awful lot on your plate, in a difficult situation. Good luck.
It's a puzzlement. I love clean, orderly, "Zen" spaces. I love warm, interesting, sensuous, "Baroque" spaces. I think I fall somewhere toward clean, interesting, "Aesthetic" "Tribal" spaces...
Oh, and I just moved one of two tables that was in the hallway as a response to "Furniture #1".
I finally designated areas to hold the main "clutteritis" and I can't have overflow, it's as simple as that, the bookshelves will only hold so many books. The kitchen only so many cookbooks & gear. The master bedroom closet only so many clothes and shoes (I splurge on accessories like necklaces and scarves instead since they're easier to store). Having an assigned spot, for each type of clutteritis, is making my life exponentially easier. It also doesn't hurt that, when I pack the Christmas decorations away, I clear the horizontal surfaces of everything and I take down all the artwork. I live bare for January, and I rotate pieces through the house, makes it far easier to see what I've outgrown - donate it - and feel as though I'm starting fresh with the New Year (each year).
This is useful if you are not already a packrat. Packratting is on the lower end of the hoarding scale; hoarding is a spectrum disease. It is not limited to those who walk around on layers of cat doodie. If you are already a packrat, watching Hoarders can help because while they do point out the doodie, they also talk about the issues behind the hoarding.
When in short course several relatives died, I ended up with things from each person. One person's apartment was full of things I had to deal with. Each item, to a packrat, represents a decision; you feel compelled to stop and think what to do with the item, 'would X have wanted me to have that, or is it ok to get rid of? Will I ever enjoy or use that hideous thing?'. It isn't as easy as merely going through a closet until you have gone through the process of getting rid of things and learned how to make the snap decisions necessary, and that takes time.
I've been reading more very interesting comments. From what I know and have experienced, you can buy containers and set up all kinds of organizational systems, make rules for yourself. However, if you don't change your thinking, they won't help. Tending toward holding on to things you don't need or use is an emotional issue and that has to be addressed. And......you have to stay at it or you will begin to collect more items, slowly maybe, but surely.
One other thing my husband helped me with....the "but I paid good money for that" thinking. It's called "sunk cost". It cannot be recovered. Face that. Keeping those things just reminds you of your failures. Send them out the door one way or another. I wanted to try to sell them, get something back. If you can do that, great. If not, let them go and move on. It's freeing. That was hard for me but so glad I finally did it. I will never be a minimalist. Indeed, that is not my goal, but I want to live an easier life. Onward and upward.
@Chavelle....try not to be hard on yourself. It takes energy and good spirit of some kind to keep up with a house and all that takes, not to mention caring for a child. And time! You've been through a lot. If you're holding things together, working, functioning, that's quite an achievement.Give yourself credit. There have been very difficult times in my life when I didn't have the heart to do that kind of thing. We all have our limits. This is not the end of your story. You will live to "fight another day". Do you have a friend or family member who would work with you occasionally? It's much easier with someone else to help you, encourage you, maybe laugh with you during the process. I do that with my children occasionally. We try to have some fun, I don't preach to them, just try to help. I'm better at it than they are and they get bogged down. I hope there is someone there to help you keep it all in perspective. I don't mean to preach....I have been where you are and I wish the best for you. Be kind to yourself. You can only do so much on a given day. If you don't have the right person to help you, set very small acheivable goals. Very small.
You'll get there when you can. Peace to you.
Change your focus and thus your "meaning" for an object. Imagine the person that can make good use of it right now. Make a gift of your possession to that stranger by donating it to an organization that will see that that stranger gets your gift. You are not giving up something; you are being generous to someone else.
@CHAOTIC -- good luck with your cleaning/clearing/decluttering. I know what it's like when hiring a cleaner/maid service is a sacrifice, but it is so, so worth it. Although there's a lot of psychological baggage that leads to this kind of behavior, I was someone who had to tackle the literal mess before I could get a handle on the mental one! And having a home that gives you a sense of peace and even pride is one of the single biggest self-esteem boosts that there is. I really think my new love of decorating and design is in large part because I appreciate my personal space so much more now. And yes, it is wonderful to be able to have friends over often, and spontaneously!
@Chavelle, I don't know if you've got the beginning of 'hoarding' developing in your life. It can be triggered by a bereavement or a traumatic life experience. I found that I'm inclined to have a junk room or corner in my home, however, I know I'm not a hoarder. I hate waste, I believe everyone should try not to add to the local landfill/ dump and I was broke for years so I kept things due to 'Value'. How did I deal with this? Well...
1) I began attending car boot sales, (dunno know the equivalent in America, but you guys have Yard Sales and better weather!) and organizing them for Charity when I couldn't find any locally.
2) I Started using Free-cycle
3) I began asking my mates on Facebook to do swap parties (you know, bring your half used 'but still good' stuff that you couldn't ask money for or freecycle to a stranger) Like unwanted toiletries, clothes & accessories etc.
Turns out my junk made me Money (not much), friends and raised money for good causes. that really helped with 'letting go'.
Less stuff, more purpose. -Nate Berkus
A big Thank You, to all who responded to my concern about the, "post divorce guest room" in my home.
I am copying and saving your comments and will re-read them for motivation and inspiration.
Just as in, "Eating an elephant", I will take on this task, "One bite at a time".
Thanks again for your supportive comments and suggestions.
Point #2 is not really self-explanatory, I think. Utilize nooks that don't get much traffic? You mean, so you don't have to look at your stuff as often, but you still have the same amount of stuff and it's less convenient for you to get something when you need it?
"But I paid good money for that" is a good one to think about. I find that when I have something that I can't get rid of because of the "paid good money" syndrome, I rethink it- I never feel that way when I purchase a gift for someone. So, I can't allow myself to think that when it comes to purchasing something for myself. So, if I have something that I should get rid of I think "oh, So and So will love this!" and I give it to So and So! No thoughts whatsoever that "I paid good money"! Does this make sense?
Not everything you think is great has to be out all the time. Put aways some stuff and rotate it now and then.
The tough stuff is the stuff that isn't seasonal but it isn't meaningless either; yet it never gets out of the closet unless it's to get moved to a different closet or storage area. Family stuff is a big part of this; YOU don't want to be the one to finally get rid of it (& no one else in the family wants to store it either).
from Pinterest:
Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places.
I got tired of moving things to less obvious places. My goal is have any closet or storage area neat enough that I can look in and find what I want and that I wouldn't mind having others see. Not perfect, but not embarrassing and stuffed.
Cleaning out, purging my "stuff" is my gift to my daughter. She would have to do that if I were not here. It would be a terrible hardship and would drive her crazy. She might hate to throw away things that were mine. They are not all special because my fingerprints are on them. Toss them and move on! Break the chain.
I try to keep up with all of the tips given by the author of the article. However, when you are a family there is always someone who hangs on to needless stuff. In my home it is my husband and his attachment is to paper. He is an IT engineer and everywhere there is paper related to his calls. He balls them up, they are in drawers they are in his closet, his car, my car, absolutelly everywhere. In his and my son's instance I have taken to doing fly bys every few days and if I see the paper in the same space I just toss it. 99% of the time he never asks about it which lets me know it's not as important as he thinks or he resolved the issue. My son is handled simply by tossing the non-essential stuff when he's at school. Clothes the ratty sweatshirts, old toys go to Goodwill. If you make up you mind to create a system and stay on top of it getting organized is no problem. My next project is digitizing 9 boxes of old photos. As soon as I get a cheap NAS Drive I am on it.
I agree with the comments that hoarding isn't the opposite of minimalism, which is a style choice--one that not all people share or aspire too. I also agree that there's a psychological/emotional component to hoarding. With that said I don't think people need others to help "fix" them or to dictate what they need or don't need, unless they ask or are asking for your help. No one needs a self-appointed controller trying to butt into their life about their choices.
My home has become more cluttered with paperwork, which I'm getting rid of and organizing myself. I had a friend come over and help me with cleaning, because I sprained an ankle and foot and needed some help. Thankfully she did what I asked and didn't butt in with a lot of "unhelpful" help. Sometimes people's lives go awry for many different reasons and they may have difficulty staying organized. It may take a lot of psychological energy to maintain which they just can't manage to devote at that time. And if they are having difficulty letting go of items it could be that they've experienced deep loss. Empathy can go a long way towards helping others, if that is really what one wants to do.
I am poor right now, more poor than I was in college (sigh) and I have notice it was affecting my living situation. I am keeping or "collecting" items that I may need to feel like I have possessions since I can't afford "new" things. Once I realized what was happening, I made a very concerted effort to de-clutter. It is slow going but so worth it!
My friend used to get updates from this online help thing for people who wanted to de-clutter. One thing you can do is go into a cluttered room with a basket, or bucket or something to hold stuff. Walk around the room seven times. Each time you make a pass, put something in the bucket you have not used or touched for six months or more. By the time you're done, you have a load of stuff you can get rid of! :D
I never considered myself a hoarder but I did have a case of 'WAAY too much crap-itis.' My parents were both raised by Depression-era parents and have that 'but I might NEED THIS someday and therefore I can NEVER get rid of it!' thing and I've been fighting it most of my life. When I broke up with a ex and got rid of a LOT of stuff last year, I felt GREAT. There hasn't been a single instance in the subsequent year where I thought 'Oh no, I wish I had hung on to X thing!' It's wonderful! There's definitely an area between the extremes that you can inhabit, it just takes effort to make the new, positive habits.
Where is that light from in the dining room?????
I am proud to say that my parents set an excellent example for me; my mother, especially, was an "anti-hoarder". For some reason, it's harder for me to let go of things, but this article has inspired me.
@ olderworker- In a previous post I wrote "if people have parents who are 'hoarders' (because of coming from poverty, or living through a war, etc), & the children (y'all) of those hoarding parents are all about 'minimalizing', so as to NOT be hoarders like the parents, then does that mean children of minimalists will grow up to be hoarders?" You answered my query!!! LOL! Your mother was an "anti-hoarder" and now you find it hard "to let go of things". Anyone else want to back of my theory?! LOL! Were your parents anti-hoarders or germaphobe clean freaks so now you have a tendency to hoard stuff, or at least have trouble "letting go"?
For anyone looking for tips on organizing and general clutter information, the website www.unclutterer.com has been really helpful for me (I don't work for them or anything -- it's just really been a good resource for all kinds of organizing/de-cluttering help). It's actually also where I found out about Apartment Therapy!
This makes me laugh and helps me see some of the junk I've sprinkled around in a new light: my daughter's friend has a term for all the excess added.....shittery. I don't know if she coined that, but it's funny and very apropos.
Great post but you forgot the most important step of all:
DON'T buy it or bring it home in the first place!!!!
Love the ideas-maybe I need to minimalize this space in my apartment:
http://listenbubb.blogspot.com/2012/06/room-challenge.html
chavelle, when a 50 yo single mom is too tired to clean after putting in a full day's work outside the home, she is NOT lazy, she's exhausted... please give yourself a break, and try to get your 11 yo to help around the house... good luck!
Paper stuff to keep: Tax returns for 10 years, marriage/divorce papers(forever=f), mortgage information/deed to property (F), auto deeds/loan papers(F), paid-off loan statements and bills of sale(3 yrs.), legal files as either plaintiff or defendant(7 years unless they can be reconstrcted from the court records, in which case 2 years). Everything else, once the
check clears the bank, shred.
The room pictured is a bit cold for my taste, but I don't think it is for lack of clutter. Good tips; particularly those about getting rid of stuff under beds, etc. I find that stuff i have 'stored away' does drag on my energy even when i can't see it, and i feel a huge relief once it is gone.
I think the best cure for clutter/hoarding is having to pack for a move. I've downsized so much over several moves in the last few years. Once you have to carry an item up several flights of stairs, you find yourself asking if the item is really worth it!
I also love the "a place for everything and everything in its place" mentality. I am prone to collecting multiples of things for no reason (trinkets, Disney World pins, you name it), but I've realized that collections never feel complete. I always want *one more*. I recently got over that by writing down how much I waste on these little meaningless things.
Can't sleep - try thinking of things that you can get rid of the next day - no kidding, it's so boring, you'll fall asleep and (assuming you act) be less cluttered the next day!
Clutter is actually a decorating style. I know many people who have filled their homes with wonderful collections of things they love and find interesting. I personally love a room that I see something different in every time I visit. Collecting is not hoarding. Collections tell a story about their owners. I used to have neighbors who were minimalist. They had four pieces of furniture in their living room, no art, no photographs, white walls, no drapes. They were self-righteous about their minimalism. When ever they "needed" anything they would borrow it from me. They borrowed my serving pieces, my dining room chairs, my laptop/ high speed internet connection and my coffemaker.
Buy a paper shredder, toss anything that is broken, stained, ripped or outdated & check your town paper for organizations that need donations such as books, clothing, toys, etc...