How Not To Embarrass People Who Use Your Bathroom

How Not To Embarrass People Who Use Your Bathroom

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Dabney Frake
Feb 3, 2016

Everybody who is human has an embarrassing bathroom incident. Take pity on your guests, and make sure that theirs doesn't happen on your watch, in your home.

1. Have Lots of Toilet Paper Back Up: If you’ve ever had to call out a request for more toilet paper from inside the bathroom, you know that it’s not high on your list of pleasurable experiences — especially if you don’t know your host well. It isn't as bad as, say, getting locking outside the house while naked, but it’s still not too much fun.

2. Have Citrus Spray or Matches Handy: Maxwell already broached the topic of Hydrogen Sulphide, so I won’t say much more or provide a true life story. Just know this is one of the most basic things you can do, and is always appreciated.

3. Hide Anything You Don’t Want Them to See: This is for your own good, as well as theirs. You don't want to be having a conversation with someone, knowing the whole time that they are thinking, "I've seen your pregnancy test sticks."

4. Clean and Especially “Boy Clean” Your Bathroom: Sometimes the ladies who don’t live with boys forget that stuff winds up underneath the toilet seat. If you do a quick wipe down, remember that visiting males lift up the seat when they go, and don’t want to be looking at…well, you know.

5. Provide a Trashcan: No one should have to smuggle out unsightly and/or embarrassing trash.

6. Offer Up Some White Noise: There’s nothing worse than asking where the bathroom is, and realizing it’s right next to the room where your host and/or other guests are hanging out. Nothing is louder than silence when you are sitting on the toilet mere feet from a crowd of people, with only a thin piece of wood separating you. Inevitably, there’s also usually a two-inch gap between the door and floor. Throw in a broken bathroom fan, and you have the potential for noise room leakage. If it’s your bathroom, take pity on your bathroom-goer and either play some music, or make loud conversation while they are gone.

7. Make Sure There's a Plunger in There Somewhere: Because even worse than having to ask for toilet paper is having to request a plunger.

Bonus Points: If you want to win the award for bathroom host of the century, provide emergency supplies for women who are having their lady times.

So, tell us. What's essential for your emotional well-being and psychological comfort when using another person's bathroom in their home? Or, if you dare, what the worst and most embarrassing incident you've ever experienced?

Re-edited from a post originally published 2.25.15-NT

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