The other day I shared the evolution of my home office, from dining room to traditional office to lounge office. That was the outer change. But there was an inner transformation that was less apparent.
I've learned that most of us, including myself, are constrained by the way someone else figured out how our homes should work. If we're told that this room is the dining room, that's what we furnish it as, never mind that we always eat sitting on the couch. Giving up a dining room is more than just a matter of moving the furniture around. Subconsciously, you're also giving up the idea of what that dining room means. This is especially true if, like myself, you grew up in a home with a dining room where we sat down to dinner every night.
The evolution of my own dining room is testament to my own experience wrestling with those expectations. I moved from other people's expectations for my life and then a little closer to my own dreams and now, with this latest evolution, even closer to a space that aligns with my real life and how I do things, however quirky or odd it may seem to others.
A few years ago, a good friend of mine got divorced and moved into his own apartment. He owned nothing and was overwhelmed by all the stuff he was "supposed to buy". He phoned his parents in a panic. "All you really need right now," his mother suggested, "is a bed." He realized she was right. He spent a happy afternoon testing out mattresses, a kid in a candy shop, enjoying the new found freedom of buying a bed that was just right for him.
The reality is that the best homes -- the house tours we go back to again and again, the homes where people hang out, the homes you want to visit -- are the ones that feel lived in, that feel like they "work" for a real life, not a life in a magazine. Sure, there are some decorating rules that have evolved over time but, if you look at them closely you'll discover that they really have to do with how we live. Seating is a certain size because that feels most comfortable, coffee tables and end tables are a certain height for the same reason.
There are things that make sense once you've played around with rooms for a while -- standing lamps, though they make look low, are the perfect height when they illuminate a page you're reading but don't cast an unflattering glow on your face; no matter how big your couch is, no more than three people will ever feel comfortable sitting on it; rugs anchored by furniture legs are less likely to be tripped over -- that have to do with livability. But, like all rules, they can be broken. Don't be afraid to break the rules when it comes to decorating your home and don't be afraid to break them when it comes to your life.
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My apartment has two tiny rooms that are "supposed" to be bedrooms but the largest would barely have fit a double bed with no frame. I put a daybed in there as a spare/dressing room and lost the "dining room" in favor of a table in the kitchen, couch etc. in the middle room and my bed in the front where the living room would usually be. I wouldn't swap my queen bed for anything.
Yep. My husband likes to brush his teeth in the shower in the morning to shave two minutes off the getting-ready routine. After moving his toothbrush EVERY DAY from the shower to the sink for the evening brushing, yesterday I put a small crystal glass with an extra brush and tube of toothpaste in the shower. It's strange -- I feel so relieved...
Our living room holds my office and my love's music studio. We've actually had friends tell us that our living room makes them uncomfortable because it doesn't have a couch and a TV... but this is how we actually LIVE.
My apartment is well under a thousand square feet but for some reason has a dining room big enough for a table for 12. I've been considering moving our desks out of the tiny den into the dining space and putting our little dining table in the den. So yeah. I like this article.
I have my bed in the middle of my bedroom, with a large headboard in front of the window, directly facing the closets and door. I love it -- it makes the overly large room feel cozy, blocks the street lamps/car headlights at night, and helps me get out of bed on time because the door doesn't look so crushingly far.
Some feng shui nut will turn apoplectic reading the above.
I especially loved this....
"Don't be afraid to break the rules when it comes to decorating your home and don't be afraid to break them when it comes to your life."
word.
I love this write up, because it's so true! In the "dining room" of my place is a day bed and other comforts intended for over night guests. It works so well in the space that no one has ever questioned it. You have to do what makes YOU comfortable!
The essence of this post really rings true. This is basically my approach to life: do what you want, and do it well. What's the worst that could happen?
For the first time in 7 yrs, I completely rearranged the furniture in my small living room. I normally don't like pushing the "bigger" pieces of furniture (sofas, etc.) against the wall, but I pushed all of the big upholstered pieces against walls and left two small mid-century occasional chairs floating in the middle of the room. Made a huge difference! It really made the living room feel larger. Also, previously there was a lot of wasted space. The reconfigured living room has a small area where my two chihuahuas can run around and play and go WWF wrestling on each other.
@yellowcoffeecup: A crystal glass in the shower?
I hope your husband isn't as clumsy as I am. I shave and brush in the shower, and I would never keep something glass in there, it could slip so easily out of my hand.
' ...with this latest evolution, even closer to a space that aligns with my real life and how I do things, however quirky or odd it may seem to others.' i agree with you 100%.
We're about to embark on a large-scale kitchen reno/extension project, but have been toying with the idea of switching the living room space (a shotgun of a room: 14 x 25 feet and at the front of the house) for the kitchen/dining space. This would put the kitchen at the front of the house, which would be very unconventional for our Victorian, an era when kitchens were to not be seen, smelled, or heard.
I am a "rearrange-a-holic" and I have been since I was 12 years old. Now that I'm a military wife and we move constantly, I get to rearrange all the time! I adore rearranging a space. It's so rewarding when you freshen up a room or even part of a room. I look at it like a puzzle. I keep reworking and moving pieces here and there, living in the space until it flows and makes sense. And, I most definitely break all sorts of design rules, but at the end of the day... who cares?! :) Only you (and whoever lives with you) has to feel comfy and cozy in your space. While some design guidelines are certainly a great starting point, I agree that we should never be afraid to step out of the box. Who knows? You just might start the next big trend!
As a matter of fact, I'm rearranging and spring cleaning this weekend! Hope to share photos with this community soon!
K2YHE - why not?! if the kitchen/dining works for you and your family in the front go for it.
I wanted to get rid of my sofa and people keep telling me I shouldn't but I hardly ever sit on it. I am a chair sort of guy.
@k2yhe, in my last house, the kitchen was in front, overlooked the street (so the living room was quieter) and made bringing in groceries, etc, much easier. My only suggestion is, like in our old house, it's a good idea to not have to actually pass through the kitchen to get to the living room -- try to have a hall or passageway that goes PAST the kitchen (open concept or with a door) that leads to the traditionally public space.
As for the general concept here, I think the only rooms that are "fixed" are the wet rooms (kitchen, bathroom/s, laundry) because of the plumbing and installations. I have converted an apartment bedroom to a living room and vice versa, my current house is the ONLY place I have lived with a dining room actually used (occasionally) as a dining room, etc. It makes sense to me to just look at the rooms you have and make your own mind up about what they would be best used for in your life. (I do tend to want the dining space to be as close to the kitchen as possible, for minimizing transport of food, but if that doesn't mean much to you, even that idea can easily be ignored.)
I just finished painting my kids' room - with three girls sharing one room we are always looking to maximize on every square inch of living space. Just by rearranging the furniture it seems like their room has tripled in size. Now to perform the same trick in our living room so I can get the bigger dining table I've been dreaming of.
I finally moved a table, that was just an excess junk catchall, and put a wing chair in its place. Now my pets and I sit in that, facing the window, and look into the garden counting the birds. It's the perfect place to read as the weak Winter sunlight fades in the evening. That spot is in the master bedroom but I'm beginning to think that room would be a much better library than bedroom...
We bought a new house a few years ago. It was built in 2006 as part of an enormous new urbanist development. The first floor has a large space at the back that includes the kitchen. Sliders open onto a lanai and the pool. This space was clearly intended to include a small kitchen dining table and the tv area - the wall opposite the kitchen area is wired for both cable and sound, with speaker lines running to mounts in the ceiling as builder standard, and there was a lamp hanging over the obvious dinette area beside the kitchen island. Taking our cues from the design, we dutifully purchased a new sofa, chairs and other furniture for the tv area, including a small desk. We placed a small farm table in the dinette area. In addition to the master bedroom at the back, the first floor has two other rooms. One is a space at the front of the house, just off the foyer, that is separated from the great room by the stairwell accessing the second floor, but otherwise open to the great room through a short hallway created by the stairwell This front room is partly visible from the kitchen island. The other first floor room is intended for a home office. It has solid double doors opening onto the other front room. We use the office as a play room for our son. Some of our neighbors with the same model put a little den in this room. Others have put glass French doors and use it as a dining room. The larger front room left us stumped. At first we covered an entire wall with bookcases and put our spinet piano in there. There was no real seating. Later we moved the bookcases to the master bedroom and added a small electric fireplace and a sofa. No matter what we put in that front room, we never used it. It was a way station from the front door, a place for the Cristmas tree. We lived most days in the great room, where the tv watching, cooking and eating all happened. We were relatively unhappy with the house. It is not small, but it felt cramped even with appropriately sized furniture. No surprise as we spent all of our time in one room. Then, just before thanksgiving, we had a brainstorm. We moved all of the sitting room and tv furniture to the front room, along with the small desk. It fit perfectly. We moved the bookcases, about 15 feet of them, to the long wall of the great room opposite the kitchen and bought a huge but simple dining table, along with more dining chairs. We put the piano and two modern lounge chairs also on that side of the great room, creating a small seating area next to the dining area. I moved the modern pendant to over the new table and replaced the dinette table with a counter height, butcher blocked topped storage unit, with a new halogen spot fixture above. This extended the small kitchen, a boon for my wife who cooks for a hobby (lucky me). Now we use our entire first floor. My wife can cook in a larger space. We listen to music much more often in the great room, sitting in one of the lounge chairs (where I am at this moment), and eat at a large table next to all of our books. Tv watching is done in a separate room, away from the cooking noise. Our son can now watch a move and I can listen to music at the same time. We had 14 people for thanksgiving the week after the redesign. It was night and day. Our feelings about the house have completely changed. We are no longer shopping for a replacement. So my advice is to look at how you live and try to arrange your house so that you get the most out of it. If the "dining room" is better suited to tv watching or sleeping guests, so be it.
We've been struggling to lay out the living room for a couple years now - fireplace and front door on one wall, TV on the next wall (only spot for it), large archway to dining room on the next wall, and bay window on the fourth wall, so no pushing anything against any walls. We finally turned the couch so the back of it faces the TV, and it's awesome. weird, but awesome.
K2YHE-Do it! I saw an article, I think in Southern Living, where a couple with a Victorian moved the kitchen into the formal dining room. It was genius. They put a huge commercial refrigerator on one side of the opening, and a huge free standing range on the other. Then they put in an island the length of the room. It was pretty neat. It might be searchable in the Southern Living Archives.
In my kitchen, instead of a table and chairs, I put a comfy chair, ottoman and reading lamp underneath the big window. It is my perfect reading nook. We eat at the dining table or on tv trays.
The space designated as a living room in my new townhome will be my studio apartment. That way, the one bedroom (upstairs) can be my daughter's room, and the downstairs can be a place that looks like an adult lives there.
We took our dining room set out of our breakfast nook. We replaced it with 2 over-stuffed leather chairs and a small round table between them, plus we laid down a beautiful, old Oriental rug underneath. It's been the only time we actually sit in the nook & enjoy the view from the oversized windows!
I've been sharing my 1 bedroom apartment with a room mate but now my boyfriend is moving in and the extra room is going to be a studio for both of us where he can make music and I can draw/paint/whatever instead of just making it a bedroom with "my" room as the living room. We need room for our creative hobbies so why succumb to convention. When you have limited space you have to be choosy about what you think deserves you space.
The dining room is where the gaming table goes =^). We store the board games and the gaming books in the dining room as well.
Sure, some people may THINK it's a dining table, since we also eat there, but we'd be just as happy eating in the livingroom. But every house needs a good table for gaming ;^)