I come from a long line of snoops. When I was a kid, my grandmother would always entertain me with the outrageous stories of the comings and goings of everyone on her block. These days, when I visit my parents, I always get the update on which kids are making mischief, who's broken up and who's just moved in. I even have an aunt in a rural area whose nightly activities include binoculars and a porch swing. (Be careful central Ohio, you're being watched!)
Snooping (within reason of course) is a totally healthy and natural part of the human existence. It's the original reality show, and helps keep our neighborhoods safe by keeping eyes on the street. Knowing who our neighbors are and what they're up to is a natural part of living in a community. In fact, what originally drew me to Apartment Therapy was the ability to see into other people's homes without leaving my own sofa. House Tours are a snoop's dream!
Now that I'm living abroad, snooping has started to fill a new purpose in my life. I'm learning a new language and new customs. Keeping a watchful eye on my neighbors is helping me to gain a little insight into local life and customs, and to not feel so disconnected from the world around me.
Here are a few tips to stealthily know what's going on in your neck of the woods:
- Don't do anything creepy. A good snoop never invades privacy, but pays attention to their surroundings enough to catch a glimpse of the daily lives of their neighbors.
- Hang out in outdoor spaces when weather allows. (And bundle up when it doesn't!) Try not to be cooped up, sip coffee on the balcony or read the news on the back porch. You can not only see what's going on, but hear it too.
- Snooping should be a secondary activity that occurs in the back of your brain. Always have another activity happening like reading, eating or cleaning. Don't make it your primary goal, but just keep an ear to the ground.
- Get to know your neighbors. This may seem like a simple step, but lots of people skip right past this. My grandmother knew the names not only of the people who lived on her block, but also the names of their children, grandchildren, cousins, dogs, birds, fish... you name it! Not only will you know your neighbors, they'll know you, which is a great way to build a sense of community and safety.
- Understand that your neighbors snoop on you, too! Any loud noises you make, weird outfits you wear, strange visitors you have or large, interesting purchases you make will go noticed by someone. Play it up or play it down — but someone's going to notice!
(Images: Smith Schwartz)
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My toddler is a mini Gladys Kravitz. He loves to sit on the driveway and wave to everyone coming and going. We've met a couple of neighbors we didn't know and definitely get to snoop on what is happening in the 'hood. If he's indoors, he's parks in front of his bedroom window that overlooks the street and snoops away. :)
Carrie8, how cute!! Maybe he will grow up to be in law enforcement or a reporter/writer. I live in an isolated location, so my snooping is carried out by people watching when eating out, shopping, etc. Who isn't interested in what is going on around them?? Boring people, that's who!!
"Who isn't interested in what is going on around them?? Boring people, that's who!!"
You're making my brain hurt.
I didn't know being 'interested in what's going on around' you was equivalent to snooping...here I thought it was just being awake and coherent. 'Snooping' is a higher level, and honestly it's the boring people who are doing it. People with actual things to do and busy lives to lead are not wasting time spying on their neighbors or constantly people watching in every public place they visit.
I live in an upstairs of a house on a corner right above a bus stop. I keep my blinds up all day for the sunlight. I work from home and I'm sure I people see me up here... it would be hard to not notice. Doesn't really bother me, if they want to watch me make lunch, so be it.
This is the strangest AT post ever.
People are interesting! I know what's going on in my building, which neighbors are friendly (most of them!), which neighbors have drama (the family in 114, until they moved and were replaced by a very nice lady with a loud parrot), the neighborhood dogs (Jack, Zoe, Gretel, the gorgeous white husky, and the black mutt whose owner sits on his porch with his coffee) and when they walk...I thought that was a natural extension of living in close quarters with others.
Carrie8, your son sounds a lot like my daughter. Wait until he can talk! I've had to teach Liz to introduce me to any grownup she wants to talk to...and she wants to talk to ALL OF THEM. She'll interrupt her story about the snow or our dog or whatever to say, "Oh! I forgot! This is my mom Jen, and she says I have to do a introduce so that I'm not rude, but I have to tell you about my dog..."
Carrie8, I can totally relate! My parents used to live next door to a woman who would sit on her front porch and drink scotch all day. She would wave her little scotch glass at you as you walked or drove by, and sometimes invite you to sit down, eat some cookies and tell you which dogs in the neighborhood were the bad ones. I miss you, Libby.
I live in a high rise and an in complete denial that my fellow city dwellers are snooping in on me. I have to be like that or I'd probably never be comfortable in my house... :)
I work from home and my desk is by a third floor window. There's a man in a large truck that stops in front of my house and swigs mouth wash for a minute and then drives on. It makes me curious if he was drinking or smoking and covering this up from his wife or maybe he's meeting his mistress for lunch.
I currently live on a cul-de-sac with only 6 houses, and a homeowners association -- so fir the first time in my entire life I know all my neighbors, at least slightly. We NEVER entertain them, though, and spying is limited to noticing traffic flow and the like.
I know that a "sense of community" is important to many people, but I'm not one of them. The idea of people "watching" me creeps me out. I value my anonymity and privacy. (But I do also care about safety, and will call 911 if I see or hear anything that sounds like someone in trouble, like the loud fights had by neighbors in an apartment complex where I used to live... I think that's enough.)
I totally agree JANIEBD. I live in a high rise multi-level townhome, or "duplex" as some would say, and I would hope my neighbours respect me, as I do with them. Again, COMPLETE DENIAL. Ha ha.
I find what you're doing very creepy. I keep my blinds down and mind my own business. I wish everyone else would also. I'm active in helping my community but I believe good fences make good neighbors.
I'm amused by how everyone's reading into this post with different degrees of snooping in their minds. I think it's incredibly important to be aware of your surroundings, and actively paying attention to what people are doing is a good way to achieve that. I live in a neighborhood where there's a fair amount of burglary and vandalism, so knowing who's walking down our street and what they might be up to is important (and helped us catch the guy who broke into our cars one morning). Looking toward an open window from a street or sidewalk seems like human nature. Walking up to that window and looking in or using binoculars to see in seems intrusive. I also don't think Smith is advocating doing that either.
Snooping? Creeping?
Love it!
reminds me of "rear window".
Read Jane Jacobs' The Death and Life of Great American Cities. Enjoy!
I always ignored my neighbors until I got my dog. Now not only do I know all of their names (dogs break the ice very easily), but now I know what cars my neighbors drive, what time they come and go, what animals they have, etc. Whereas before I was just outside to walk out to my car and back, now I'm out there several times a day for at least 15 minutes at a time. I can't help but find out who my neighbors are. I've actually found it to be enjoyable. I don't look in windows, but if I'm passing you or if you're on your porch I'll certainly say hi.
I can't help feeling that if the poster spent more time building interest in his life, he'd have far less time to stalk his neighbors. FYI, posting cutsey "tips" does not make snooping any less creepy.
snooping is great!
I love that my neighbors like to keep tabs on the goings-on of our street, and i like to do the same.
we all chat when outside, have some great laughs, inquire about each other's latest happenings.
i'm only 37, most of my neighbors are older of varying ages (decades) and i love it!
snooping is caring! :)
I wish a manual on snooping existed to I could share it with a few neighbors. Buying a new home often lends itself to becoming snooped. I just bought a new town home where my neighbors are all twice my age, retired, paid 3x more for their unit than we did for ours, and I've quickly learned that I'm the new hot gossip. Here are the lessons I've learned so far:
1. When you catch a neighbor "bad snooping" (peeking out the blinds, but when noticed they attempt to step back and get caught on the blinds) just wave to them! There's something so uncomfortable in the moment but when they're aware they've been bad snooping busted they either stop or they learn to be more stealth.
2. Subtle hints. When the neighbor hears noises that peak his or her interest in the back patio and they step on a chair so they can watch you while you're working on something, crack a joke. I thought "Hey Bill, any idea what the HOA says about building taller walls? HAHA" would work. I ended up planting tall trees. It worked.
3. If there's an HOA, attend a few meetings. If you can just talk casually to your neighbors about what's going on it definitely reduces a lot of rumors and gets the bad snooping reduced. Be careful though - they may like you and ask you to join the board. Or like me, make me the board president.
4. Bribery. It works. I bought the town home about 6 months ago and have been doing a full remodel before we move in. Shortly before starting construction I made baskets for each neighbor with wine, assorted beers, ear plugs, and an invitation for the housewarming present that. On the invitation I indicated that we would be inviting the neighbors over to celebrate the completion of the renovation and also provided my cell phone and email in case the contractors ever had the stereo too loud or something. That seemed to have done the trick!
I could go on forever. Just a few things that came to mind after reading your post.
I have to agree snooping can be a good thing. For example when I used to live with my mother we had older neighbors who have lived in their homes since my mother was a child. They know all that goes on that little block. Well them knowing who I hang out with and who I don't saved my life. This man saw me walking to my house and liked how I looked and was asking my elderly neighbors if they knew who I was and where I lived. Because they never saw this man come to my house or even seen him before they didn't tell him anything. A hour or so later they told me and my mom what happened and told me to be careful. I think its a good thing to know your neighbors and even be a snoop because knowing your neighbors could save their life and keep them safe.
bee-zar
I'll tell you what's bizarre... reading this post on the day I unwittingly snooped on two of my neighbours having a very loud verbal dispute. LMAO.
I was picking up pine leaves off our front lawn and within minutes the Police were called etc. The man living next to me is a constant annoyance to my household and others on our street. We've never had a confrontation with him - which I would over a few fence issues - but our neighbours who have had disputes with him, had to eventually move. Everyone else gets on well, except for this moron.
Maybe setting up shop on the front stoop is too much for you, but if you insist that taking any notice of the goings-on around you is too much, I don't think you're being entirely honest. Part of city living is experiencing a life that's surrounded by other people, and sometimes you just can't help but hear or observe them.
To me, this is like people-watching as you sit outside at a restaurant or on a park bench. It's not like you're staring anyone down or following them, you're just observing the comings and goings and taking it all in. "Snooping" is just a cheeky, self-deprecating way to describe it.