It's been a while since I rented a room, but from my recollections a good land lord should:

- Have clear and consistent guidelines on use of common areas or items such as in the kitchen or bathroom. Everybody knows the rules, everybody follows the rules. Landlord doesn't change the rules on a whim.

- The landlord respects personal space and privacy. I rented a room from a woman who would wait up when I went out in the evening, then ambush me as I came through the front door. What had I been up to? Had I been drinking? Did I know what could happen to women? Did I know her father was an alcoholic? (This woman has issues. She considered it to be disrespectful of her if I had a beer or two when I was out. I never drank in the house.) I had another landlord who would snoop in my things, or have her boyfriend snoop in my things. It was never clear what they were looking for and they never stole from me. Just seeing what I had in my room or my part of the storage area.

- Have clear and consistent guidelines and due dates on payment of rent and utilities.

I have moved around a bit, and after some truly horrendous landlord situations, have created a checklist that I use when I see an apartment and meet a potential landlord for the first time. The questions are all pretty basic: how long have you been a landlord, how many apartments or buildings do you manage, do you have a handyman on the premises, do you have an emergency line, have you ever been taken to court by a tenant, have you ever taken a tenant to court, etc.

I also try to see if the landlord knows the tenant/housing laws of the state or city where I'm renting. A simple question like "what do you do with the security deposit during the terms of the lease?" can let you know if the landlord is up on the law that, for example in CT, you have to put it in a savings account to accrue interest.

It's always telling how a landlord handles the fact that you are asking him/her these questions in the first place. In a good situation, a landlord will respect these questions and provide you with appropriate answers. But if a landlord balks at the fact that you are even bothering to vet them, that should send up some serious red flags.

I'd also check yelp. I've posted some of my more horrific landlord experiences there as well.

Consistency, privacy, reasonable about noise (from the tenant *and* the landlord), a reasonable notice period unless it is a dangerous/illegal situation and a willingness to allow decorating as long as it gets put back before leaving. Also to remember you aren't friends or family, so a certain distance is great for me. I never minded getting invited to parties - especially if they're in the house - but clingy landlords get really creepy, really fast.

Something I used to love back in my student days were arrangements for watering plants/cleaning in exchange for a bit off the rent, but again this needs to be very clearly delineated or it gets weird. I'd expect the landlord not to get behind in paying utilities, and to at least warn me in advance for a heavy change (like how much the winter heating bill usually is). Fixing stuff in a timely manner is a big plus.

I've never had a bad landlord, but I'm also a very good, trouble-free tenant. I find that renting from individuals FAR beats renting from a corporation which I did throughout college and for my first apartment. My last landlord sent me a bottle of wine for Christmas!

I always ask "Is this an investment property?" when I look at a rental unit. If it is, I usually run the other way. The best landlords seem to be the ones who unintentionally became landlords. Three of my landlords have been this way: one woman who got married and promptly had twins and thus outgrew her one bedroom but didn't want to sell in a bad market, an older couple in the Chicago suburbs who wanted an urban apartment but found they didn't use it enough to be worthwhile, and currently, a man who is working out of state for the foreseeable future. Accidental landlords tend to see you as a human being versus a tenant and treat you accordingly.

I've luckily only had to ask a landlord to repair something once -- a washing machine. I hired the guy and my landlord paid the bill. Tons of things were wrong with my first Chicago apartment (the ethernet jacks were painted over and didn't work) but I could tell my corporate landlord would not bother fixing it. I didn't even bother asking and got a wireless card plug-in for my laptop.

Oh, sorry. I didn't really address the original question. But I hope my advice is useful to somebody. Steering clear of investor-type landlords has certainly served me well.

A good tenant wants full disclosure up front. I think it helps to have a candid conversation on each others expectations and then develop the agreement from there. When I rented a room a long time ago, I wanted to know what the full house privileges were and the consequences for both parties if they did not abide by the agreement. For instance, let them know that groceries aren't shared, house guests are allowed for ___ amount of time before they are treated as tenants, and what the exact percentage of shared utilities are (if there are any). I think the best housemate relationships start with clear boundaries that are in written form after you've had a clear conversation.

I've rented rooms before. It's...interesting, because there's no privacy barrier between you and the landlord. I found it unbearable after a while.

I think the most important thing is to maintain that distance and to respect privacy. Set clear boundaries -- are they allowed to use the kitchen? do they have their own bathroom? How comfortable are you if they come out of their room to sit in the living room? etc.

Good luck to you. :) I don't think I would rent my rooms out to anyone but family friends.

I very much prefer an owner-manager landlord. Someone who is not irrationally attached to his or her own paint color choices and realizes that painting/nail holes in walls, etc. can be easily fixed when I move out - particularly if I live there for a long time, you're going to have to paint when I leave anyways. Things like quick response to issues of plumbing, appliances, and the like goes without saying, right?

But, hands down, the most important thing in a multi-unit situation is the landlord's attitude towards how the tenants are supposed to respect each other and his or her willingness to enforce reasonable standards. If pets are allowed and there is a common back yard, there need to be rules - enforced rules - about picking up after your dogs. The landlord needs to be reliable to step in for noise issues, garbage, use of common areas, etc., so that the tenants don't have to go to war amongst themselves. This can make a living situation untenable if you have someone who doesn't respect boundaries- OR who plays favorites and lets some tenants get away with whatever they want to do.

I'm renting right now and I would like someone who's not crazy! My recommendations:

Sign a lease. This can be a month-to-month lease, but should outline things like what day the rent is due and what areas of the house are off limits.

Set expectations *before* they move in. If you want them to put their dishes in the dishwasher, make sure you tell the person before they give you money and are using your flatware. Getting made because they don't do something you didn't tell them to do never works well.

Designate areas. Remember that, while you still own the home, you are renting out space to that person, which means they have a right to use it however they want that isn't disruptive or destructive. Make sure they have space in the kitchen to store food, in the bathroom for their toiletries, and DEFINITELY remember that their room is their private space. Not to say you can't go in there after knocking, but rummaging through their stuff is way inappropriate. (It happens, trust me.)

Be a good house mate. Yes, you own the house, but being rude or constantly threatening to raise the rent because you are feeling financially pressured is completely inappropriate. (The girl I rent from right now does all of these bad habits and she's losing a reliable renter because of it.) If you have a problem address it calmly and politely. Ask before accusing, and make sure that you aren't doing stuff you are telling your renters not to do (like leaving hair in the bathtub then telling your renter she has to clean hers out--when yours is the layer underneath hers. Gross!).

I successfully rented to the same person for 2 1/2 years. A big part of it is making sure that you understand who is the homeowner and who is the renter. Don't expect your renter to do your work for you (like mowing the lawn or snow shoveling. Sorry Bibliovore, I absolutely disagree). If you want someone else to do that for you, hire someone and work part of the charges into the rent. Use good judgement and ask for references when looking for a renter, and don't be afraid to tell a moocher who isn't paying you on time that they owe a late fee or have to move out withing 30 days for not paying rent consistently.

Good luck!

Wow, lots of spelling errors, but I think you get the idea.

[Preemptive apologies for a long comment!]

I'm the original question asker, and appreciate the feedback. I already have what I call "The Fine Print" list, which details most of what everyone has mentioned above. Before a roommate moves in, I email them this list, and ensure that they reply that they understand and accept. There's a fine art to setting clear boundaries, rights and responsibilities, and not coming across as a control freak. Every single thing on the list is something that I've seen cause problems in renting situations. I've never had a complaint about my landlording (?), but the last 2 roommates were terrible about taking care of their cats. Neglect to the point of abuse, where I ended up taking care of them out of pity.

Please let me know if I could be clearer/more concise:

The ad: http://orlando.craigslist.org/roo/2760717542.html

"The Fine Print":

* Rent
* Rent is due before the 1st of the month, preferably by direct deposit/account transfer.
* Month-to-month: There is a 3 day grace period, with a $20/day late fee for the days of the grace period (ie, 3 days late means rent + an additional $60). Non-payment by the 3rd day will be considered giving notice effective immediately, with forfeiture of deposit.
* Yearly: There is a 3 day grace period, with a $20/day late fee for the days after the grace period (ie, 6 days late means rent + an additional $60). Non-payment by the 10th day will be considered giving notice effective immediately, with forfeiture of deposit.
* Deposit is $250 (+ an additional $250 for pets), less any repairs and/or cleaning needed.
* The rent is for one person. If your SO is there more than 3 nights a week, it becomes a two person rental, and we'll have to renegotiate.
* Since utilities are included in the rent, please respect the thermostat and don't go crazy with water use. If the utilities spike out of control, we will have to renegotiate.

* Fifteen days notice is required on a month-to-month lease, 30 days on a year lease.

* Shared Areas:
* Smoking outside is ok, smoking inside is not. Alcohol is ok, drugs are not.
* The kitchen is open access, and there is room for you groceries and equipment. If you choose to use my dishes, pots & pans, knives, etc., take care of them. Please clean up after yourself when you are done cooking/eating.
* The bathroom, living/dining room and porch are all shared. Please don't hog a room, and I'll do the same.
* Things that are used by both of us, like toilet paper and paper towels, should be supplied by both of us.
* I keep the shared rooms clean and straighten as I go, to cut down on the amount of ‘big’ cleaning. I would ask that you help, and do the same.
* My bedroom and office are my personal space, and your room is your personal space. Respect my space, and I'll do the same for you.

* Pets:
* Small dogs and cats may be acceptable, if housebroken and well-behaved. I (and my little dog, too) need to meet them, to make sure its a good fit.
* You are responsible for cleaning up after your fuzzy friend (food, fur and waste) regularly. If you have cats, this means a regularly emptied litter box.
* Flea-free pets are happy pets, so please have your pet on flea control if they go outside.
* Arrangements can be made to help with pets, for trips and heavy works schedules, etc. However, it is not my responsibility to take care of your pet - nor will I expect that of you.

From a legal perspective, it means nothing to say "we'll have to renegotiate" once they've signed a lease - unless the lease itself says that certain trigger events (utilities going over a specific dollar amount) will invalidate the lease. Same goes for all this "how things should be" stuff. It's relatively meaningless when it comes to having leverage to kick someone out. You're taking a massive gamble with a housemate, but you know that.

I think you are incredibly generous to allow cats and a SO up to 3 nights when you have a shared bathroom situation.

It's the "housemate" thing that seems to me the major issue. I would never in a million years be comfortable doing this (from either side of the picture) so my thoughts are based on that -- I'd sell my house if I had to rather than resort to renting out a room, and I'd get the world's cheapest studio before rooming with someone else. (And have done.)

Compatibility of lifestyles, expectations, normal wake and sleep hours, noise tolerance, mess tolerance, and everything else pertaining to living in a home would need to gel -- in a way, you are looking for a new best friend, since even if you both spend most of your time in your own rooms, you WILL cross paths and leave trails. All can say is Good Luck!

I've shared apartments/houses with four people, ranging in ages from 19 to 36, and ranging in sanity from normal to wackadoodle. These are some of the issues I've been on both sides of.
The "we should alternate who buys paper products" is great - but it's best to establish a schedule & preferred price points/brands. Otherwise you get into the situation of "Oh, I just bought some now!" when the other person is going to the store in two days and you had a three rolls of TP left. It sounds trivial, but it is super annoying - for both people.
Also, it's important to get along - but remember that the person is renting a room from you, not renting a BFF. I rented a room from a very generous person - always bought the TP, flexible with bills, allowed me full run of the kitchen supplies - but she wanted to hang out 24/7. It's important to give the tenants space.
Also, make sure to go over in detail what the kitchen rules are - and that neither party is neurotic. If you don't mind piles of dirty dishes on the counters, but hate them in the sink - say so. If your pans can't be put in the dishwasher - make that clear. Is it ok to leave for a weekend while dishes remain in the sink? These are important things to hash out.
If they're smokers, make sure you discuss where butts can go and how frequently they need to be removed.
If there are pets, discuss disciplinary & feeding procedures with the other party - chances are, you'll be alone with the animal sometime when it misbehaves/needs feeding. Explain what your policy on carpet cleaning is.
And definitely discuss shared common room privileges. If you're both watching movies, who gets to pick? Otherwise your tenant may defer to you, because it's your house.
Also, seriously, make a cleaning schedule. It sounds like a bother - we're all adults, right? - but everyone has their own idea of cleaning up after themselves as they go, or how frequently a big cleaning should occur. Hash it out.
Also, decide what cleaning products to use, and who buys them. If one person wants to organically clean, and the other wants to neurotically mix bleach and ammonia in the bathtub, it might be best to reach a compromise.
Be absolutely clear on rent/bill issues. If they move in on the 10th, is the rent due the 10th, or the 1st? How much was the bill, and when do you need it by? If possible, post the bill in a common space - that way they have no suspicions that you're cheating them.
If you're willing to watch their pet while they're on vacation, that's awesome. But, if they travel frequently & that's the sort of thing that annoys you after a spell, make that clear. Perhaps settle that you'll watch the pets for 10 total days, and after that they need to start paying you.

But, most importantly, make it clear that, if your tenant logically and calmly disagrees with you on one of the co-habitation issues, that you won't hold a grudge and eventually kick them out.

It's the little things that add up and drive tenants out of otherwise favorable situations.

Reversibleraincoat's comment is directly on target for anyone beginning a roommate relationship.

I rented a room from a woman this past summer. Things started out OK, but -- as it turned out -- she had some pretty major psychological issues. I wound up moving out very quickly - with a police escort - after she physically assaulted me. My past two renting experiences have been so bad that I've sworn off renting except from university residence services. When I'm done grad school, it's either back with my parents or buying my own place ...

That noted: I don't think you're crazy, and the fact that you've asked this question shows that you're interested in making things work! --- here are a few tips from the renter's side of things ...

1) Respect privacy - don't go in it my room, and don't snoop through my things. Feel free to have friendly conversations, but don't pry into my life.

2) Respect the way I live - my ex-landlord got upset that I only vacuumed my room once a week (vs. every day), and constantly ridiculed my choice of diet (vegan) and my faith (Christian) -- everyone has unique habits and ways of living/eating/being - just become somebody does something different doesn' t make it bad

3) Lay down house rules together - talk about house expectations for both parties - is it OK to leave dishes in the sink to soak, or do they have to be cleaned right away? If you don't contribute to the kitchen garbage, are you still expected to take out the compost/trash? Once the rules are set, don't change them unless the feelings are mutual

4) If you have a problem, talk!

5) Remember - you might be the landlord, but it's their home, too!

I lived in two houses when I was in grad school where my housemate was the owner and they were both great. I would say the biggest thing about making it work was that they were extremely open with the common areas. My couch, my art, my music, etc. was just as welcome as theirs. In the first case, may landlord had lived in a similar situation when she was in law school and she wanted to provide the same sort of open environment to her renter.

The second place was fun because I was able to contribute to the house in a way that I never would have in a normal renting situation. When I mentioned that the backyard would be great with a patio, I was given the go ahead to put one in with expenses covered.

There are of course a lot of things that factor into a good housemate situation but the above were unique to living with the landlord. I should also note that in both cases the people were just a bit older than me and had similar lifestyles/interests. I would definitely do it all over again - the second one worked out so well I stayed well past grad school and we are still friends.

p.s. Just read your comment...

Definitely do direct deposit as you have requested! It makes it seem much more like a housemate vs. landlord/renter situation.

SOs - I think the 3 night cut off is a good point. I had forgotten but in both cases I was able to have people visit and stay with me and that was also super important to me. Living situations where no overnight guests were allowed made it seem like I was going to be living with my parents.

I want reasonable treatment. I had crazy landlords who didn't allow us to paint, we weren't allowed to BBQ in the BACKYARD out of fear we could burn down the house. Vancouver is especially bad because most landlords don't allow pets (which I consider unreasonable)
+1 for direct deposit!

to begin with, honesty in the apartment listing (whether on a search engine, craigslist, etc) is an expectation that can make or break my decision. if the photos look great, but the apartment itself is a dump, i'm not going to trust you and will likely not rent from you.

once in the apartment, getting a prompt response to maintenance requests is a given. i've had many repair issues in past apartments that have been brushed aside for longer than necessary (from a few hours for an overflowing toilet, to a few days for plumbing issues), getting a prompt and courteous response is so helpful, especially when you show up and don't act like it's a terrible inconvenience to have to deal with it.

i have a great landlord now in a 3 building complex. the things they offer that will keep me here for awhile:
fast response time for maintenance requests (even today, it took 5 minutes for them to come upstairs and fix our leaking faucet)
allow pets of all kinds (no limit, as we have 3 cats)
a dogpark and community bbq
recycling (this is almost unheard of here!)
24-hour on-call maintenance line
allow tenants to paint/upgrade fixtures if we would like (i've changed the bathroom faucets, mini-blinds for wood blinds, ceiling fans, etc.)

the only thing they are lacking is the ability to pay rent with a direct deposit/website payment.

only did this once, and that was in a brownstone. owner rented out the upper two floors. we shared kitchens/baths by floor. i was not warned that everyone provided their own toilet paper. the landlady did complain to me once or twice that no one would bring the trash down to the street. i'd had no idea it was expected of us.

she was very kind to me.

I'm in the same camp as sherrybinnh "I'd sell my house if I had to rather than resort to renting out a room, and I'd get the world's cheapest studio before rooming with someone else." It can get really dicey when there are two completely different lifestyles involved (neat vs messy).