Hi, you're so nice to want to get her a gift. My twins were born at 27 weeks and spent 77 days in the hospital before coming home. The most useful gifts I got were:

-gift cards to eateries and coffeeshops near the hospital(she will have no time or energy to cook for herself),
-cash to pay for all that parking (our hospital charged $3 to park--it adds up),
-maid service for a day (our house got trashed due to people coming in and out all day and I wasn't home to clean it so a friend got a groupon for maid service for a day),
-things to decorate the twins incubators (when they get a little bigger they can start to wear button up clothing, have blankets and small things from home)
-lots of cards and emails to congratulate the new mom. people forget that even though the babies are sick and small they new mom should be congratulated just like any new mom.

I am really into comfy clothing. like comfy socks, hoodie, pj's. and some mags or a gas card for all the trips she is making to the hospital. thinking hair bows and tiny socks but perhaps those are still too big also. a little gift basket of lotions and pampering things for the momma! congrats to the momma and blessings for the babies :D

You're a thoughtful friend to ask! As a mom of twins, I can say that unless she is in a difficult financial situation, the last thing they need is more "stuff". The most valuable gift to parents of newborn twins is time. I know you said food isn't an option, but what about a gift card for a local restaurant where they could go or get take out? New moms are tired and hungry, especially if they're trying to breastfeed and keep their calorie intake up. Another idea -- and I know this could be considered gauche -- is to write them a check to put towards paying for a babysitter once the babies come home. You could make a cute card saying you want to treat them to some free time. Mom and Dad might want to get out together or just use the time to take a nap! If you have a group of friends that want to go in on one gift, a gift certificate for house cleaning might be appreciated too. And if there's any chance you can visit and if it wouldn't make things more stressful for the parents, you might want to think about a visit where you pop in to town for a couple of days and just help help help -- w/laundry, cooking, running errands, or feeding babies so mom and dad can get some rest. Good luck to your friend!

You are a good friend to try to help out. Do you have another friend in the area who could offer recommendations? I think it would be great if you could get a couple healthy meals (from a reputatbale meal-delivery service)delivered to her or a cleaning service.

I still think clothes for the babies is a good idea, when my son was born at 27 weeks, we had plenty of newborn clothes but not one single preemie size, they might not be wearing clothes now, but they will very soon.
Gift card for a restaurant, maid for a day, are all very good ideas for the parents.
Apart from that, love and support, let them know they have a thoughtful good friend :-)

I know you said you can't make or send food, but even as a Mom with one baby, cooking and cleaning was just impossible to get to in those first few weeks. I'd second getting them a gift certificate to a take out place near them and third the suggestion for a cleaning service once or twice in that first month.

Forget clothing altogether. Get her housecleaning service gift certificates. Restaurant take out certificates. Food. Clean house. That's more than a mom with twins can ask for... I got a fruit basket and a whole bunch of frozen lasagnas - best gifts ever. But a maid service was the one thing I also wished for... forget getting them "time out" and "away from the babies" - moms who breastfeed, especially twins, if she is?... can't go out. Period. Get her things that will reduce her stress and you will be her best friend ever.

My son was born two months early and we spent several rough months in the NICU. Things for the baby were always lovely to receive but I was so grateful for the few people who realized how far a little pampering could go. As a new NICU mom, you're exhausted, you're emotional & hormonal, and you're a little traumatized as you absorb your new "normal." At one point in the middle of it all, I received a gift certificate for a haircut at my favorite salon and that mere hour to myself did wonders, believe it or not. I remember feeling so good for the first time in months and the stress being eased just enough. A pick-me-up that soothes and makes her feel good may be just what she needs. Whatever you do, any gesture of support and kindness will be appreciated.

I had preemie twins as well. What they need most are things to make their lives easier. If they live far from the hospital, gas can add up, so gas cards are nice (as long as you google to find out which ones are close to her home/the hospital). Gift cards to restaurants and take out near the hospital are helpful as she might tire of hospital food. If she has other children, special toys to keep them occupied in the waiting room are nice. You could also set up an account for them on takethemameal.com, get email addresses of local friends/family that might be able to contribute to it and set up help and meals for her locally. Preemie clothes were nice to get (once they were big enough to wear them). Sometimes it is nice to have a voice recorder so that parents can record them singing songs, books, etc. for the babies to hear when they can't be there. We needed a digital camera to be left bedside so that nurses could take pictures of cute cuddling when we were gone (we have an older daughter, so we needed to keep ours with us to document her as well). I would definitely consider going to visit her (TO HELP WITH THE HOUSE!) if you can manage it, too, she has no idea how hard it's going to be to manage the house when they come (you should definitely make sure you get a flu shot, though). Also, she's going to have it pretty tough for the next year or so. Don't forget about her.

My son was born seven weeks early and was in the NICU for two weeks. I had preeclampsia and postpartum preeclampsia. By the time I left the hospital myself, I was so weak with physical and emotional exhaustion. I had a csection and was still very swollen, and it was an incredibly difficult recovery. I can't imagine what it would have been like to go through that with twins; Twice the heartache of having to leave your babies at the hospital.

One incredible thing my mother did for me was take me to get my hair cut and to get a manicure and a pedicure. It sounds so simple but it was such a gift. It made me feel like a woman again and gave me the strength to keep going. My husband and I also ate out a lot to and from the hospital, so restaurant gift cards to places on their route would be nice. I also clung to decorating my sons nursery and last minute preparations. Having something special waiting for the babies would be nice; a decoration, monogram, special keepsake, or beautiful preemie dress or John John as a going home outfit would be great.

Preemies also have problems regulating their temperature, so handmade hats are wonderful gifts. Preemie ones are hard to find, so I made my own while I had my feet up recovering... Check etsy!

Since I had a csection, riding in the car and walking in the hospital were very difficult, and if I didn't have the support of the belly bandit, I wouldn't have been able to make as many trips to see my son. Definitely recommend the belly bandit or something similar if she doesn't have one already.

One more silly thing, after the delivery I realized I didn't have enough nursing tanks and bras, but I especially didn't have enough comfortable underwear... But more importantly comfy underwear that made me feel sexy again. Your self confidence is shot after giving birth, and with twice the babies I cant imagine how nice that luxury would be!

I would double check with her mom, spouse, or a local friend for advice. Some people are funny about having strangers in their home, so a cleaning certificate wouldn't be ideal for everybody (though you're welcome to give me one anytime!). I like the food gift card idea, especially for places near the hospital. That and a little something pamper-y, sweet and cozy for her would probably be a really welcome gift. But I'm sure that any little kindness would be appreciated.

And komurphy is right, the tone should absolutely be celebratory and congratulatory, not overly worried and sympathetic.

The organization Graham's Foundation is absolutely fantastic. They send care packages to parents of micropreemies for a lot of the simple things (such as gift cards for restaurants, etc. that others talked about above). I would contact them so they can send something.

My nephew was a preemie and his mom swore by this wrap. She can use it for kangaroo holds with her twins.

Another vote for cash/gift cards for maid cleaning, restaurants, take out, and grocery stores.

Maybe a friend who lives nearby can freeze food for her for later?

Hi Again. Here's a great testimonials page from mothers of preemies using the Moby wrap.

I also had preemie twins who were in the NICU for 6.5 weeks and 8 weeks. Definitely gift cards for restaurants would be helpful, as would arranging grocery delivery online, if available. You could also organize friends and family who live near the family to deliver meals. The website takethemameal.com makes this a cinch. I also agree that a cleaning service would be appreciated. Another thing to think about is how much they have prepared their home for when the babies come home. My husband and I didn't get a chance to prepare a nursery because my pregnancy was so difficult and then my girls were two months early. Having help to set up the nursery (maybe hire a painter, someone to set up the cribs, etc...) would have been much appreciated! Also, I would have loved to have had a hands-free pumping bra. Moms with babies in the NICU have to pump every 2 hours to keep their milk supply--having free hands would have made this a lot easier for me! :)

I had twins at 24 weeks Last Christmas Day. We were in the NICU for 4 months.

Membership in a local Parents of Multiples group. They have meal deliveries, monthly meetings, and offer mentors. The multiples community "get it" as so many have walked this path.

Button snap tees and footie sleepers (p & nb sizes) so the monitor wires can be fed thru them. Dye them a cheery color so that they don't get mid up in the hospital linens.

Bibs and a Wubanub pacifier. Choose bibs that reflect the coming holidays for sweet photo ops.

Cute, colorful receiving/swaddling blankets. At a certain point, the nurses will start to use them and they liven up the day and the photos. Endless picts of the faded hosp blankies get depressing!

Bunting or name banners for the isolettes. This is their home for the coming weeks and months... Their first nursery, so help Mommy liven it up!

Real, soft tissue. The hospital stuff is thin and awful. She will need it. Purse size lotions that are unscented because hands dry out from the sanitizer and Mommy's face dries out from the recirculated air.

Disposable cameras to leave at the bedside. The nurses took pictures for us when we were not there. They were not shy about asking the doctors, and therapists to pose, either.

Bedtime stories and books to read to the babies. We were told to talk to the babies, but sometimes exhaustion and grief would steal the words. We read to the boys constantly. Friends dropped off their childhood favorites on our doorsteps, and even at the hospital. Have them write a note inside the book for the babies.

www.takethemameal.com - you can manage this from long distance. Tell people to drop the food off at a neighbors or on the doorstep if your friend is not home. Do not expect a visit. We just did not have it in us to entertain most days. A few words at the door were perfect.

I wish your friend all the best. Leila

I agree with the posters about getting new mom certificates for house-keeping or food.

I was thinking that this new mom might be neglecting her own health as she goes back and forth to be with her babies. That being said- use the net to find a popular restaurant that also makes large platters (We have used these restaurants for short term notice for funerals and wakes when the family just does not have the energy to cook or finances to eat out while getting arrangements). You can order ready to eat lasagna or ziti for instance. She can eat this on the go- with little to no prep.

The eating-out certificates might not be good if she is still having trouble "slowing down" But will come in handy in a couple of weeks.

I like the suggestion of paying for parking...

I just wanted to thank you for the question as I've enjoyed reading the answers-all helpful to me, too! So kind of you, Sarah! Best wishes to you, your friend & her family..

I think a gas gift card would greatly benefit. Driving to and from the hospital multiple times a day adds up fast. The last thing you want to worry about when your child is in the NICU is how you will pay your bills. I also vote for restaurant gift cards. We ate near the hospital at the local Outback, Elephant Bar, Chili's, etc. Not the ideal food, but it was close and fast. I would wait until the girls pass their carseat challenge before considering buying clothing.

You could give a night or so free at the hotel near the hospital.

Not a preemie or twin mom, but I had a little one in the NICU as well as complications myself.
Help with housecleaning would have been amazing. I wish someone had done that for me!
And I distinctly remember my first non-hospital meal after birth. It was a hamburger and it tasted like heaven. Seriously. It felt so good to go somewhere for 30min and eat like a normal person before going back to the hospital. Find out what restaurants and stores are nearby the hospital.
Gift cards for mom to get pampered too. I felt and looked like crap while my son was in the hospital and somehow that made everything that much harder to deal with.

1. fast food gift card/coffee card
2. itunes card
3. housecleaning service
4. gas card

honestly, mom pampering would be nice, but i felt guilty not being there with my babies for anything that wasn't necessary (showering, dinner, etc) .

A MAID SERVICE! Hands down best gift a new mom can get.

Completely agree with those of you who have suggested house cleaning, gas card, and anything related to pampering the new mother. And I think you're a great friend for realizing that the standard baby gift might not be the best in this unique situation.

As a preemie mom I will recommend you to send a nice book or magazine to your friend. You can also send her breast pump bags if she's breasfeeding them. Of course meals are always nice to receive, or you can online shooping for her, time is limited in that situation and is very well appreciated. But what you can do every two days or so, is call her at time she's not at the hospital and really ask "how are you doing?"and have time to listen to her. That's she expecting from her friends. I hope the babies are progresing well and you're allready doing a great gesture.

Oh my gosh! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone for all the great suggestions! Having no kids of my own I was definitely on the wrong track, so I really appreciate all the great advice!

what thoughtful people you all are! I had a single preemie (25 weeks) a few years ago, and I agree, giftcards for food, gas, and help are the way to go! I also liked books and magazines, as I had to take a train to the NICU. And maybe a "date night" package for her and her spouse? Kids in the hospital are really stressful for a relationship!

I think a gas card would be wonderful!

Some hospitals have a concierge. Call them and ask what services they have available. When my friend's newborn was in NICU, the concierge service helped me put together some gift cards for shops and restaurants in/around the hospital.

We survived a 120-day NICU stay with our son who was born 13 weeks early.
The biggest thing - let her know that you're there for her, but that you don't expect constant updates. It's hard enough making a dozen phone calls when the news is good... and when the news is bad, it's painful. Maybe you can help her spread the updates, help with a blog or email chain, to take that load off her plate.
She will spend hours sitting at their bedsides in the NICU... a good book to read, fun magazines, other ways she can spend the time while being there for her babies. If there are complications, she won't always be able to hold them, but she'll still want to be close by.
She will wash her hands a dozen times a day, and they will chap and crack... send her some hand cream - it'll become her favorite toiletry.
Send her a date night package to use just before she brings her babies home... she won't have such good babysitters (NICU nurses) for a long time.
Send books for the babies - ones that she can read aloud to them. It helps you feel like you're connecting with them, in spite of all the tubes and wires.
Her babies will wear hats their entire stay... find/make cute ones for them to wear.
Send a small object or stuffed animal to help chronicle the babies' growth each week/month. We used a small stuffed monkey to help document our son's size his entire first year: http://sprik.blogspot.com/2009/12/monkey-series.html
Send her a journal or small notebook to track info on her babies or to write letters to them. She'll want to look back at it later to appreciate just how far they've come.

I'm echoing others' comments, but from friends in the NICU:
- gift cards to local restaurants
- cleaning service
- payment for a babysitter if other children are there
- Check out mealbaby.com - it's a great site that helps organize meals, etc.

I think previous posters had so many wonderful suggestions. I had preemie twins in the NICU so I understand what your friend is going through. I think a cleaning/maid service is a wonderful idea. And like someone mentioned no one EVER seems to buy preemie clothes, so that would be a wonderful gift. My kids weren't in newborn clothes until they were around 4 months old. I also think some comfy clothes for the mom would be great. Some loose lounge pants, warm socks, and nursing tops (if she is breastfeeding/pumping), and hoodies. My clothes were so ragged but I was too busy at hanging out at the hospital to shop for myself.

One of the main things I think people forget to do is congratulate the parents. Yes, babies come early, many with awful complications, but they are still born. It is nice to hear someone say congratulations and send a HAPPY card.

Thank you for posting this question, and the wonderful suggestions that everyone has. My twins were 7 weeks early and spent 3 weeks in the NICU, and the first poster who wrote about suggesting hand creme for the chapped hands, really brought me back. They are 6 months old, and I just went back to the hospital for a check up for myself, and I needed to pump before. The pumping rooms are on the NICU floor, and it was weird being back there. For the original poster- I would echo what everyone is saying. A maid service, a pumping bra, gift cards for dinners with her spouse are all wonderful things, but a phone call asking how SHE is doing, and making sure she talks about herself for a few minutes is so important!

I was recently in this situation, but with only one premature baby. Lotions and such are a great idea, but they must be unscented! Babies in the NICU can't be exposed to scented products- at the hospital we were in, you couldn't even enter the ward if you had on perfume or scented lotion.

I would suggest some form of meals (the previous posters had some great suggestions), a cleaning service, or some intersting books/magazines/movies.

Best wishes to the twins and their family!

As a new mother somebody also got me a gift card for a haircut. When I used it I just about cried. Having somebody else just wash my hair was the nicest thing I'd had happen to me in months. I agree that stuff for the mom (and dad?) can be so appreciated in times like these. Clothing and gifts like that for baby maybe reserve for when its time for the baby to go home? Gift cards for coffee, restaurants, etc are nice too. For close friends I've also gotten them a victoria secret gift card to hold onto until they feel comfortable enough to use it....

My friend had triplets a few years ago. I'm in the same boat as you, as I have no children. I knew that their girls were going to be in the NICU for a few months, so I went out and bought a whole bunch of books (chapter books, hardcover children's books, etc.). My thought was that mom and dad could read the books to their girls to help with the bonding experience, especially since they were so physically and emotionally drained. They really loved the gift and said it helped to grow that family bond even more.