I would have just put the toddler bed in my room.
I would not be comfortable sitting on my bed with my husbands friends or having my friends sitting on my bed with my husband. thats kinda weird

^Exactly.

Yeah, I would have waited this one out. Toddlers change their minds quite often and the friends on my bed thing creeps me out.

Ditto. Roll up your sleeves and move the bed back where it belongs.

Get a baby gate for the toddler's door. Don't become those parents who end up with an 8-year-old in your bed at a certain point every night!

Co-sleep, or put the toddler bed in your room.

Based on the size of a queen mattress, nothing is going to make it read "couch". Not any amount of pillows. Put your bed back in the bedroom. If you insist on sleeping in your living room, then either use an airbed which you can deflate when guests come over, or buy an inexpensive sofa sleeper. Don't expect real mattress-like comfort though. Hopefully you are only going to use this for a few months, right?

Day beds, which are twin sized are the most uncomfortable things to sit on. A queen sized bed with no back and your legs stretched out in front would be even worse. Any guests would be scanning the room for absolutely any other place to sit. I agree with all previous posts. Beds in bedrooms. Sofa's in living rooms.

When our kids were toddlers it did feel unsafe to have them on the bottom floor alone. We lived in a small cape with two small bedrooms downstairs and a cramped upstairs area that we could barely stand up in. We put our son's twin bed and daughter's crib in the small room and used the upstairs as a playroom. My husband and I squeezed our bed into the larger room next door. It wasn't perfect, but I know I slept better.
It sounds like you just have one room on each floor. How large is your room? Could you make him a sleeping nook with a room divider? I've also seen parents use large, walk-in closets for cribs and toddler beds. His current bedroom could then become a playroom.

Agreed. I have three boys and I put doorknob covers on their doors at night so they couldn't get out. If the worry is that you can't hear your toddler, then, I'd suggest a baby monitor.

I've been to a house where the bed doubles as a couch and it was really, really awkward sitting on it with them to watch a movie. My husband and I left early because it was so uncomfortable.

Toss your old couch and get a sofa bed instead. You can leave your bed where it is. Also, yes I have to side with the other ppl who feel that being an adult entitles you to certain rights like being able to sleep in your own room, however, if you feel sleeping in the living room now and then is your only solution, a sofa bed will be a reversible option, won't look weird and give you space for guests.

if you are intent on having the bed in the family room, then you could do something like use two medium-height headboards and then place some sort of foam or sturdy cushion in the middle of the bed length-wise to act as a backrest. this would create something like back-to-back couches, which cuts the room in half but may be a slightly more comfortable seating option than extra pillows thrown on the bed as-is.

Yeah, I have to agree with everyone else & say there's no masking a queen bed.. I don't think it'd be too weird to have a bed in the living room, though, as long as folks didn't have to sit on it. Think of all the people who live in studios & make it work. Maybe you could find something in the "small, cool" archives that would look good in your room.

I read something once about how children should not be given the master bedroom or even implied power over such decisions, because doing so basically hands over the reigns of the family to them (even if it is for logical, good reasons.) It sounds a little over the top as a theory, but it actually makes sense. I saw members of my own family do a similar thing when they had kids, and, to put it mildly, the kids now rule the roost. In a very unpleasant way.

I like the idea of just getting a sofa bed to use temporarily until you feel like this hurdle has passed. Or quite frankly, I myself was locked into my own room temporarily (only had to do it about a week to get the point across) as a toddler because I was too adventurous at night. No harm done (and I actually remember it - crying and pounding on the door!)

If you're absolutely set on having the couch downstairs, one idea is to put it in the corner , or against a wall, and get big pillows to pile against the wall like a headboard. Then it can be a loungey-type couch. Kinda exotic. Like this:
www.houzz.com/photos/83619/utopia-projects-contemporary-bedroom-other-metros

You could even make your own headboard type thing like this:
www.houzz.com/photos/175522/Showhouse-Bedroom-for-Teen-Girl-modern-kids-houston

Also, I'd keep a blanket on top of it during the day that you can remove at night. That way you still have clean and relatively fresh bed sheets and bedspread underneath.

I saw a woman on TV, who loved her house and didn't want to move, even though it was a one-bed and they had a daughter.

So they gave the daughter the bedroom, put their bed in the back of their long, narrow living room, with a divider contraption and made a small sitting room in the front of the living room.

They spent as much time in their yard an they could.

Maybe something like that would work out for you?

As a single mom, my daughter and I lived in a quad-level house and when she started climbing out of her crib, I worried about her roaming the house and I dunno, drinking bleach or something while I was upstairs and unaware. I put the bathroom door-knob on her bedroom door with the lock on the outside. When I went to bed, I locked her in. Most mornings, I woke her up but on the odd morning she woke up first, she would knock on the door and call to me.

When our house was broken into, her room was the only room left intact (I guess the robbers didn't think there was anything of value in there - PUT YOUR VALUABLES IN YOUR BABY'S ROOM). My daughter thought it was because...there was a lock on her door. From that night on, whenever I put her to bed, she'd say, "Lock me in mumma"!

The lock went back on the bathroom when I was confident she'd be safe. It worked well for us.

Switch rooms with your toddler, you on the bottem floor, him on the top, and really work on getting him to stay in his room all night. Take if from a mom who wishes she had put more effort into getting her child to sleep by themselves, in their own room.

WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE, the parents or the toddler? THAT should be your first consideration. (yes, i said that - because if YOU are not in control, you cannot expect to effectively keep your child safe and/or look out for his best interests). Secondly, if you have no family close by, find yourself a mentor, preferably one who's raised multiple children, who can advise you on such things.

Now, move your bed back to the bedroom where it belongs OR be prepared to be embarrassed until your child is into his teens & beyond..In the meantime, replace the child's bedroom door with a screen door if child gates are not effective (they weren't for me - my kids were climbing them before they could walk). Add a hook-and-eye closure high on the outside. This allows you to still hear and see your child and prevents him from escaping if you're uncomfortable with the doorknob covers ( i was, plus they only temporarily deterred my kids - for like 5 minutes)

I can empathize with your circumstances but allowing a toddler to control your household ins NOT a road you want to travel.

.

No matter what you do, it will still resemble a dorm room. Move.

I wouldn't feel comfy sleeping on a different floor as my toddler, especially locking them into their room. How would I know if they were actually sick or in pain? Sometimes little people have big fears which I would NOT want to ignore. How would I get them out in a fire? Not ok for me.

I second moving you all into the same room, whether upstairs or downstairs: co-bedding, putting the child's mattress on the floor beside yours, creating a sleeping nook in the closet... all great ideas.

They are so little for so little time, and meeting your baby's needs at night does NOT equate to making a little monster.

Most of the world is not so rich as to hope for one sleeping room per person and they end up just fine. Really, in a small house, is two bedrooms for 2.5 people really the best use of space? What about using that other room for a playroom and craft room?

The fact that your bed is now on the same floor as your toddler's does not guarantee that you'll wake up when he goes exploring. For his safety (as well as all the reasons listed above), lock him in at night!

Wow, this seems like a lot of parenting advice being offered in lieu of home design ideas. If you've got the space, I think I like the idea of creating alternate seating for when guests are over. Or it might work if you could get a kilim-type cover for the bed with lots of pillows to make it feel more lounge-like and less bed-like.

You can't make your bed comfortable for guests to hang out on. That's extremely awkward at best, and downright weird at worst.

I've got 6 kids- trust me, this iis a behaviour that can be changed.

1) wake the kid up at 6 am everyday, weekends too.
2) limit the nap to one hour
3) make sure he runs and plays a lot - especially in the afternoon.
4) bath then books and snuggling starting at 8-8:15.
5) lights out at nine.

Keep a very strict schedule similar to this and that child will sleep!

And the door knob covers or switching the knob so the lock is on the outside are great too. No toddler needs a lock on the inside anyway.
4)

There's parenting advice being offered because the solution to the child's sleeping problem is silly. Why waste time trying to figure out how to make a queen bed look like a couch when you could just stick to the couch and figure out a better solution to the sleep problem?

"How would I know if they were actually sick or in pain?"

There's this nifty thing called a baby monitor ....

Perhaps my earliest memory is being thirsty late one night in a house into which we'd just moved. I got out of bed, couldn't find the kitchen, wandered lost in the unfamiliar, dark rooms, too short to find light switches, and finally despaired too much to continue. I stood still, weeping louder and louder. The noise eventually woke the grownups, who gave me water, put me back to bed, and told me to stay there, which I certainly did.
The poisons were shelved high or locked away, and the windows and exterior doors were closed and locked at bed time so we couldn't have gone outdoors. We kids had been taught we'd be punished if we went into our parents' room after bed time, so we didn't knock to go in unless we were more scared of something else. That was the worst incident that happened from none of us four ever being locked in our rooms, yet I was safe throughout it. Never having had kids, this post makes me wonder, what's wrong with leaving a toddler not locked in her room at night?

QUOTE: Wow, this seems like a lot of parenting advice being offered in lieu of home design ideas.

Good parenting always trumps good design. Kelly could have asked how to make a queen bed work in a living area without offering details as to why......but she didn't.

Take a few moments and let that thought sink in.

Ok, parenting advice is what it is, but all kids are different, and people do what works for their own families.

With regards to the people who gave actual design suggestions, though: thanks! I'm not the original poster, but my partner and I are switching to a King bed (instead of a double), and are hoping to install the double in the office as a kind of over-large couch to sprawl on (I like reading in bed while my partner is on his computer, and we like being together) and use as a guest bed when necessary. The links with the "headboards" on 2 sides of the bed and the large pillows may do the trick!

And, seriously people: not everyone has the option of dropping everything/spending everything/moving at the drop of a hat. Sometimes, design is making the best of what you have with what you can muster up.

QUOTE: Sometimes, design is making the best of what you have with what you can muster up.

Excellent point (and that would be *most* times in my lil neck o' the woods). We recently replaced a double bed-cum-over-large couch in our office with a sleeper sofa. But ONLY because it was inherited (and I'd much rather have my mom back)

LorienQ, - agree! This from someone who switched out our queen for a king when we found out we were expecting our second so we could all fit, though.

"but all kids are different, and people do what works for their own families" - Ros
precisely. do what works for yours.

Would a Murphy bed be too weird? I costs a lot more than you'd probably want for a (probably) temporary situation, but you could use it forever. A friend of mine built one so that they could continue using their child's room as a guest room as needed. This one's probably crazy expensive, but you get the idea: http://www.cultmodern.com/interiors/murphy-bed/

I wonder if they really chucked the couch, rather than moving it into their bedroom... was it too crappy to keep around for when these circumstances resolve?

Not that I don't agree they should just put their bed back into their bedroom and get a baby monitor or something.

Wow I think all of you who are judging this poor family are disturbing.
I am a single mom, sharing a one bedroom apartment with my daughter. I recently moved myself in my living room and gave my daughter the bedroom, so we (not just her) could have our own spaces.
I was very curious as well to learn new ideas on how to make a queen bed work in a living room. I am disappointed that there is only one person here that tried to give real design advice. I think you all should be ashamed of yourselves.

Kelly - What has worked best for me is my sofa bed. I got it for $125 at a resale shop. It was a total steal. I bought a very nice 4" memory foam mattress topper, only $80 at Big Lots w/ coupon, that took that horrible fold out mattress and turned it into a bed of clouds. And big plus it still folds to into the couch!! If you have a storage ottoman or trunk at end of bed you can put all extra blankets and pillows up and move it in to be a coffee table when your using it as a sofa. Good Luck!!

I don't have an opinion on the toddler space thing but we tried to have our bed in the living space as well and tried our best to make it "blend". We did everything we could to make it blend with no headboard, big sofa pillows, etc. But eventually all the people sitting on the side of the mattress made it lumpy and lopsided, not to mention dirty.

QUOTE: I am disappointed that there is only one person here that tried to give real design advice.

@ ELIZABETH STAR: point taken. Apologies extended. The only design suggestion I had, had already been shared. Thus, it was the underlying issue that captured my heart. God bless Kelly and you both for trying to do what's best for your family in your circumstances. No one can find fault with that...

Jesus. Judgy McJudgersons. Okay, so if you back away from Unsolicited Parenting 101, this is a REALLY valid question if someone lives, say, in a STUDIO APARTMENT.

You can indeed find Queen daybeds, but they tend to be (largely) custom, although if you are a bit handy, you can probably get two headboards to work on a frame. The only problem there is most headboards aren't finished on both sides.

Another route might be to run a long headboard along the length of the bed on the wall where it is anchored. But the comment about depth and comfort of seating WAS right... a queen daybed will be deep... so that's where bolsters come into play... you can Google "Hollywood bed" t see the kind of bolsters used for making a twin into a daybed.

The final step in making you bed more sofa is the bedding... tailored, fitted, and heavy weight (like upholstery weight) covers will help. If you go with an upholstered frame and ends for the bed (and can afford something custom) have them also make the covers and pillows... doing everything in the same fabric will make it totally more sofa than bed. Also, during the day, find some other place for your sleeping pillows. Those will blow your cover!! :)

Good luck!

I think you should do what makes you most comfortable with your toddler, don't worry what other families do. Everyone and every situation is differrent.

If I have a queen size bed in the living room, I will buy a rather heavy cover or over sized blanket to go over the whole bed to put over the bed every morning, so my bed will stay clean when I go to sleep. Then put tons of pillows for sofa use.Personally, I will choose white cover so I can easily tell when it;s need to be washed. (but then, I am a minimalist anyway, so you may prefer different color) That's about all you can do.... and that;s ok. Toddler will soon grow and thisis only temporary. I have a 3years old and going through similer problems, my house is not what it used to be.

I'll throw my two cents in only because I want to think this is just a temporary solution.

To me, the seat depth (seat back to front edge) is the biggest visual clue between couch and "hey, isn't this a bed?" The latter would make me think the owners have some weird swinger's fantasy, and I would definitely not stick around even if they had really good pepperjack cheese.

So, I'd build a box that covers one side of the bed. The vertical support is the new backrest, and underneath you can store sleeping pillows and comforter. You'll have to make back cushions, and be very on top of rotating your mattress. The box could have a hinge to secure against the wall, but it should be very secure (read: at least three failsafes) to prevent it from crashing down during the night.

So, that's my advice. It will probably run about $100 and up, but it's cheaper than a murphy bed. Or, just go that route now and have a spare bed for guests. Cool stuff at http://www.resourcefurniture.com/

Peace of mind is priceless, but do consider the parenting advice everyone is adding. They sound mean, but they mean well.

When I was a child we visited my aunt's beautiful but tiny apartment in Oslo - to this day my mother still brings up the charming decor which featured Aunt Inger's double bed in the main living area (her young daughter slept in the only bedroom). Her secret was tucking the bed under the large window and dressing it in an antique lace tablecloth that didn't read "bedding." I think the fact that the bed was always neatly made and was covered in an unconventional textile piece was really important - bedding is an intimate thing, so keeping this private was key. I also recall that she had a few options for occasional seating in the room (an antique chaise and a couple of chairs), so guests weren't required to sit on the bed and could choose where they wanted to sit (to avoid awkwardness). Good luck!

Kelly's approach, and also the cosleeping approach, sound fine to me. The suggestions to lock toddlers in their rooms, which I'd never heard of before this post, sound more problematic. Kelly's and the cosleeping approaches certainly sound better than my father's approach of hitting kids early and often to get the desired behaviors without locks. As others already wrote, a large bed can be made to look like sofas back to back. That may be the least embarrassing option. It can be presented as an amusing short-term compromise with the realities of raising a toddler. Besides, Kelly's friends should be sympathetic and encouraging, not make her feel ashamed that her home reveals she's a young parent. That's a tough, important job, more important for now than hosting elegantly. Many young parents just put adult entertaining on hold. Her guests should appreciate being invited to share in her new life stage. If her friends lack empathy because they haven't had kids themselves, then this is a chance for them to grow, too.

While it is very common to disguise single beds (double even) in living rooms in Europe, there is really no way to make a queen sized bed appear as if it belongs in a living room. Many of the solutions involve day beds with wooden sides, which raises another issue not yet mentioned.

While many mattresses have reinforced edges to accommodate people occasionally sitting on the sides, it will really destroy your mattress to try to use it as a sort of sofa.

The great thing about kids is that "this too shall pass". The nighttime ramblings of a toddler will probably pass quickly, especially if he just graduated to a toddler bed or single bed from a crib. All kids do this as they make the adjustment.

Since you are on a different floor, I would go with the suggestion of installing a baby gate for the night, either in his doorway, or if that is not possible, somewhere as close as possible to limit his movements. I would also make sure to always have the baby monitor on. Most kids only need a little reinforcement to teach them to stay in bed; after a month or so, the freedom of being able to wander at night will have worn off.

Good luck!

I would cover the bed with a beautiful throw and lots of cushions of varying textures and sizes. Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with people sitting on my bed, or sitting on someone else's bed - they/you are not getting under the covers, after all. As for the night time issues, sleep problems are generally short-lived, so I think you're correct in picking your battles carefully. Our oldest child used to regularly turn up in our bedroom after moving to his own room (he was about 18 months old), and was always rebuffed by my husband. We were more lenient with our other 2, and I still feel bad for him now, even though he has no recollection 20 years on!

A dear friend had a similar set up; her twins had been born premature so they needed constant monitoring. The bedrooms were too choppy for this, but the open floor plan living/dining/den worked better. They had a queen bed under a window and Eurostyled, with lots of pillows, textures and fabrics. It looked more boho than anything else and wasn't weird to sit on. They also had some other seating options like big comfy floor cushions and a couple of chairs. If I recall they had the bed on a low platform so it didn't really read as a bed because it was so well styled. It probably also helped nearly all her friends and relatives were big hearted and compassionate, not like the judgey, haughty commentariat here.

I don't know what the general geography of the house is, but if you want to make the living room into a bedroom, why not make the bedroom into a living room? I personally would prefer the toddler to be happy and content to sleep in his/her own bed all night, but if there are reasons the parents don't want to do that, moving the entertaining space upstairs seems a sensible route to go.

I am really surprised by these posts...there is nothing wrong with co sleeping with a toddler! They are still little and they might be lonely/scared at night. Meeting a child's dependency needs when they are young means that they might just grow up to be independent as adults! I remember being spanked if I tried to visit my parents at night...talk about traumatizing.

Spanking for that used to be the standard approach. It had the desired results in the short run. Although I never had kids myself, I'm sure there are better ways. I don't know whether locking toddlers in their rooms is one of them. That approach reminds me of how adopted children were strapped down into their beds for the night at bed time in "Mommie Dearest."

To the OP:

My sympathies. As someone who's only very recently became a mom, I've discovered that freakin' EVERYBODY has opinions as to what you should do with your child, very often unsolicited.

Do what you need to do to make your living arrangement and family work. There wasn't enough detail in your question to really make a call on why you need the arrangement that you do, so let's ignore that. I would highly suggest a sofa-bed or futon...or a smaller mattress? A queen-size is rather big and would be awkward to use/disguise as a sofa, not to mention that it might get messy if your guests spill something on what is still your sleeping space. I would also recommend having a lot of oversized cushions on the bed too so your guests have something to lean back on if they don't want to scoot backwards all the way to the wall.

How unnecessarily abrasive. Calling anybody and everybody who has perspectives or approaches different from yours "a bunch of nut jobs" blows your own credibility, not theirs. I worked downtown a quarter century, and the homeless people who'd bellow "You're all crazy!" were the most unfortunate of the bunch.

I know it's not exactly your question - Is the room big enough to place a high back sofa in front of it which would hide it and give you some privacy? Over here (UK), some of them are called Queen Anne sofa and they cost under $100 second hand. Reupholstered in modern fabric, they look amazing.
Is that a photo of your room? Would you be able to build some kind of (removable obviously) large box the length of the bed which would act as the back and make it easier to rest on - with some large cushions.
Good luck in finding a solution that works for your family.

Kelly, you and your partner know what's best for your family and your little one. Heed not the naysayers.
If your design aesthetic runs to the bohemian/avant garde/gypsy-inspired end of the spectrum, putting the bed in a corner could be a way to go. With two headboards, one attached at the head and one on the side near the head against the wall, and then get prolific with the pillows. Lots of texture, varied sizes. You could even drape a canopy over the bed to make it feel more nest-like. This wouldn't entirely solve the problem of seating for guests: you'd likely still need to have several chairs or a shallow chaise lounge, but I think it would make the bed make more visual sense in the space.

Miami's Elaine:

I don't think anyone would disagree that it is unfortunate to be homeless. Goodness, what an odd comparison.

Yet you got my point, at least enough to dial down your gratuitous rudeness.

Good Lord, y'all. Judgy, judgy.

To address some stuff brought up:

-We do have doorknob covers on his door. He disassembles them all.
-We did have a baby monitor. We still didn't hear his stealthy escapes.
-We REALLY did not like sleeping in the attic - very hot, no bathroom, and of course far far away from the escape artist.
-We really DO like being on this floor for a number of reasons.
-We do not co-sleep. Where that came from I have no idea.
-I didn't ask for parenting advice. We are not young nor inexperienced, and are doing fine, thanks. I was asking about....

THE BED!

So thanks to all of you (three, I think?) who actually answered that question. We are going the headboard/oversized pillows route, not that I'm having any luck finding said headboard. I'd ask for thoughts on that, but it would probably somehow turn into cloth diapers vs. disposable or something like that, so never mind.

Perhaps you could use two twin beds that could be pushed together at night to make one bed. The two beds could be dressed with trim, tailored covers that would be more like slip covers, than actual bedding. Depending on the configuration of the room, they could be placed parallel to each other on opposite walls, or form an "L" shape in a corner with the walls used as a support for the cushions.

As for parenting "advice," none was asked for and none shall be given. :-)

Have you seen the Antique Asian or some Chinese beds? They have ornate canopies. I've seen people with lofts put it in their living room. It's kind of cool and looks intentional. No one would know you need to sleep in the living room. It's more like you did it for design. Check out Kenneth cobonpues' bed design. Those beds look great anywhere.

I dont think your giving your power to the child at all. Sleeping downstairs to sure that your child isnt wondering the house at night is showing the child you ARE in charge and he/she cant get away with playing in the middle of the night.

As far as making the bed look like a couch, i dont know how to help you on that one. Just wanted to comment about the sleeping arrangements because everyone seems to be hating on your decision. And I disagree with majority of their comments.