I try to use the " one item in - one item out" methodology. Most of the time, it's more than one "thing" at a time, but If I notice the closet appears to be shrinking (hehe) then it's time to pare down. A semi-annual thorough cleaning seems to be enough to get me to really examine my things.

After awhile, some items just don't really have any place anymore. I have the most difficult time with sentimental items, esp. those from relatives that are no longer with me. It does take a long time to determine what can stay and go, sometimes.

I work in fashion and buying clothes (and shoes and hats and jewelry and everything related) is my one weakness. My best way of controlling what I have (and I have a lot of clothes) is to only buy what I love. It's hard not to buy things just because they are an incredible deal, but once you have a full wardrobe, if you only buy well-made, high quality pieces, it can save you so much in the long run. Would you rather have 10 amazing shirts that you love, or 50 shirts from H&M that you aren't going to want forever? Also I'm against getting rid of everything you don't wear in a year. Fashion is cyclical, and I recommend always keeping, again, well-made and high quality pieces because it's likely they will come back around, or your children will want them in 10, 20, 30 years. I like to put everything that's currently out of rotation into air-tight plastic boxes, and stack them high on a closet shelf, or in a storage space if you have one and go through everything once or twice a year.

Don't go shopping. I used to look at every catalog that dropped thru my mail slot and it created all kinds of desire. Once I disciplined myself to put catalogs directly into the recycling bin I forgot all about things I "didn't know I needed."

I keep a bag on the back of my hall closet door and drop things in for Goodwill all week long. At least once a month I drop off the bag.

I agree with "don't go shopping".

Don't repopulate. Once you've gotten your place cleaned out, don't fill it up again.

I recently downsized, and made practically a whole house donation to Goodwill. Now I have a very few things and everything is in it's place. When I am in stores, my mantra is 'no more stuff.' So far I have bought one organizing tray and new crystal, as I had broken all of mine. I was down to plastic drinking cups when I moved.

I have a coat closet, a bathroom closet, a linen closet, a clothes closet, and a walk in storage room, which I had lined with shelves. I am in storage heaven. I am determined to stay organized.

Most of the time I forget about the items I've donated because I probably haven't worn them in years. My friends and I have started an "inner circle" Freecycle and some of us even live across the country. We just reimburse each other for shipping. Then whatever is left over we just donate to a local women's shelter or the library (we trade TONS of books).

I will have to try the 80/20 thing, although Space Bags (from Big Lots - score!!!) have kept me from getting rid of some prized concert tshirts. Limited edition, man!

Go digital with your nostalgia.........

I used to have an urge to bring home anything that reminded me of my childhood....my grandma had that dish, I loved that book, I always wanted a talking view-master, etc..

Now, I just grab a picture of whatever it is off the internet and save it.

Likewise, do you really need to keep your prom dress? Take a picture of it, then donate the dress.

Extensive collection of California Raisins figures? Take pictures, then get rid of them.

Over the last few years, I've gotten rid of a house full of stuff. My regrets I can count on one hand.

Be honest about your hobbies.

I can crochet........but I don't need fifty crochet books. I can get any pattern I can imagine off the internet, so I got rid of all but two books.

I made jewelry for a little while. Not much, but I had a lot of supplies and books. I admitted that it wasn't something I LOVED to do, so I got rid of everything.

Pay other people to create your handmade stuff. I'd like to make greeting cards, but I KNOW I won't do much more than shop for papers and supplies, lol My sister is an outstanding scrapbooker, and makes beautiful cards. When I want a handmade card, I ask her to make one and give her suggestions for the style I want. I give her a few bucks per card. Cheaper than Hallmark, and much nicer.

I defintely use the rule that if I buy an article of clothing, I have to give an article of clothing away. When its hard to really give something away..since I truly love everything in my closet, I give it to a family member like a younger sister or friend. That way I know its with someone that I know and somehow it makes me feel better.

As far as shopping, I keep a list of things I need to buy from shelves for the living room wall to paper towels. If its not on that list, I do not buy it. And once its one the list, if its not essential like toilet paper, I sort of wait a bit to see if I still feel the same way a week later or a month later.

Because I write, do collages and all sorts of other creative projects, I try to scan in as much stuff as possible to keep the paper in my apt to a minimal. It's challenging though.

Currently I have a couple bins that are set to go to goodwill but I can't find the time to drop them off. Neither do I have a car to do so. Sometimes I just want to trash it all to get it out of my site. But i don't. Because that would be horrible. But what can I do when I don't even have time to drop donations off?

Some charities will pick up, like Savers, a thrift store for the Red Cross.

Re the 80/20 rule. It works in business too. They say you make 80% of your income from 20% of your clients. It was true for me. I dropped the 80%, work a whole lot less, and make 80% of what I used to. I went from 18 hour days to a life. But it was scary, telling customers I wasn't going to sell to them anymore.

I went to Goodwill today. I am still parting with some things I brought in the move, plus presents. Someone gave me socks and pajamas, and I am not going to wear them, so out they go. I have a Goodwill box too, now. I intend to keep ridding myself of stuff I don't want. It's amazing how stuff keeps getting into the house.

Granola,
You can enter your zipcode on the Salvation Army site and see if they schedule pickups in your area. You might be able to have a van come right to your home. Also - I know there are veteran's and other nonprofits (Amvets, Purple Heart?) that will come pick up items. All you need to do is label it on the right day in a place they can see and get to it.

Vacuum? I think a vacuum can be forgiven. I wouldn't consider it a "rarely used item". And I thought *I* didn't vacuum often enough! I wouldn't put it up there with say, a tablesaw. That I can understand but... just ick.

Anyway,

This is all well and good. My mum used to send me off to my cousin's house for the weekend and when I came back my room would be empty! Betrayal or no, I certainly learned that losing stuff I loved is really no big deal in the end. So I have no problem with scaling down.

But what do you do when your significant other has a borderline hoarding problem? what do you do when they groan whenever you gently mention the large ugly box of the same type of computer wires in the closet?
The wardrobe full of pants he never wears because they have holes in them?
The pile of (honest to god) plastic STICKS in the corner he kept just because he played with them as a kid?
What do you do if your S.O. brings home every little piece of junk he finds at work and leaves it in random places around the house?

Can't just very well toss it myself. And I'm getting kind of tired of being the unreasonable one in this situation. Not to mention the crying fits I have when I run out of my own junk and start collecting boxes of actual beloved/needed items just to clear out some space before I go insane?

Nothing works. :(

Melle, it sounds like you and your significant other need to have a serious talk, and maybe work on the issue with some outside help. Partnerships are partnerships in every imaginable way, from being supportive over career issues, to comforting one another in times of stress, to sharing space (including storage).

thanks...

It's such a sensitive thing too, because really, if I even mention it he takes it as a comparison between him and his mum (who is a genuine hoarder).

I just deal with it by doing most of the cleaning around here. At this current state (we're still quite young and just bought our first apartment), I think I'm alright with this. I think I'm just tensely waiting for it to become something much worse. Perhaps it won't.

About catalogs...I recycle the ones that still get through, but DO call the companies sending to you and tell 'em to stop the paper madness.

Less temptation, fewer dead trees, you don't have to use any mental energy after that one phone call, it's a win-win-win.

My SO and I recently did a wardrobe purge, and it was awesome. We just set limits to how many of each item we were allowed to keep (10 pants, 20 tops, 5 jackets, 5 miscellaneous items, etc.) and stuck with them. It was really difficult at the time, but I'm glad we did it. I'm so much more aware of what I'm buying (rather, not buying) when I go shopping.

to hell with the closet purge. that's what vacuum bags are for.

Melle,

You might try giving him a space of his own? A room, if you have it, a cupboard if you don't. Whatever space you give him, stay OUT of it; it's his mess and he can keep it as he likes. If you have a yard, consider getting a shed, too, and giving him that for sturdy things that he can't bear to get rid of but doesn't use every day.

If it's that big an impact on your relationship, it might even be a case where a storage unit is a genuine help. Over time, if he ignores things in storage, you might find he's gradually more willing to get rid of what doesn't hold genuine memories for him.

If these things don't help, I agree with fallentree that it's time to seek a counselor. Relationships need a lot of things to work; my Momma taught me early that love is not always enough.

Melle

Oh, one other thing - You mention he gets touchy at comparison's to his mom. You might have some (limited) luck by bringing it up through discussion of YOUR mom, and how she used to discard your things. How it made you feel, how *you* don't want to turn into her and at the same time need space.

Don't talk about him as a hoarder. Come to him as someone damaged and ask him to help fix you. Explain how you need the space, how you get so overwhelmed when there's no clear areas. Is there a space he can give YOU? One clutter free room?

It might get around the defensive upset. And the truth sounds like it's in the middle - both your parents may have messed you up a little.

I agree with stop shopping. I also think space bags are just another way to save more crap that you don't even remember having. When I moved into my condo which has a large storage closet, I just put everything in there and you know what, most of that crap I never look at our use or even know it's in there. Sometime this summer I plan to pare back for good. I could use that space for something more useful. Also whoever it was above who mentioned just throwing away his/her catalogs, why don't you sign up at catalogchoice.org? That will ensure that you don't get any catalogs at all.

My best trick falls under just one category, conscious curating of my home, it's so much easier when "someone" is in charge (she's my organized alter ego). Whether I have to declutter, or choose my wardrobe for the season (the rest gets donated or space bag'd), it comes down to choosing just 5 or 10 in each category to keep and doing that I know I'll always be surrounded by the things I love. Once I've preserved my favorites then packing up the rest and hauling it immediately to a thrift shop is easier to do.

Sentimental clutter was difficult, I have a ton because I'm still sorting through multiple family member's belongings, but it goes into seasonal boxes. There are two boxes in each closet, one for each season, and the items are rotated to just a few select places in my home (and I may not pull out every item each year). Really important to me, in starting over, is that my home is comprised only of pieces I chose. There are a few places in the house where you'll see an heirloom item but the items change throughout the year.

I so agree with @Charlotte about catalogs creating desire, curbing that is proving really important to me. I've designed my house in my mind and now I'm just executing to that plan. AT's my one see-everything site but I do now try to avoid the obvious shopping posts and sources of media that groom you to shop endlessly.

@Melle - you don't have to convince him, just make his stuff "migrate" a bit. Buy clear plastic containers, and one by one, sort the stuff (his least favorite / paid attention-to items first) into the containers. Make them migrate to another room, then eventually the basement, if you have one. After he does not notice for 6 months to a year, just say, "darling, you haven't touched those sticks in over a year. Can I donate them?

I'm lucky in that I realized my dream in life was not having lots of stuff, but rather, to travel. With that in mind, what the declutter experts say is, sort through your stuff and with each item ask if it will help you to reach your goals in life. A good 85 percent of my stuff did not qualify.

I bought clear plastic containers (a lifesaver and the only time I use plastic) and sorted / labelled stuff. Gradually I used old cardboard boxes for stuff I did not want and am planning a tag sale. The stuff I kept was the stuff I love and now I'm free to travel the world!

I agree with the "don't go shopping" and "one in, one out" rules. A friend of mine has 4 kids and is always complaining about how she needs a bigger house (she's in 2000 sqft and 4 bedrooms). I've come so close to shouting - no! just less stuff! - but maybe I'll send her a link to this article as a hint. :)

I am a very disciplined shopper, since I live and work very close to great shopping, I never buy anything the first time I see it. If I remember it and I love it the first, second, and sometimes third time I see something - and it's in my budget - I'll get it. But I always re-edit and make sure I'm following the 1 in, 1 out rule.

My Achilles heel: the holidays. Since we are tight on space, it's very hard for me to know what to pre-edit or to adjust once all the new stuff is in. Even if it isn't much, but we got completely re-adjusted from Christmas about a month ago.

Most of the things I have are useful, and my newest project is going through my magazines and clipping out the articles I want to save instead of keeping the whole magazine. But I'll get there, as long as I have it done by next Christmas!

Create your own fashion:

To limit wardrobe, recombine several two-piece outfits.

Try one pair of dress shoes, sneakers and boots – or go barefoot.

Rather than a hat or umbrella, try a hooded jacket.

Try a small purse – for a credit card, dollars, coins and house/car keys.

Try a comb or brush, but not both.

Use minimal makeup.

Omit jewelry and accessories.

Yes, separate rooms are great.

My husband uses the spare bedroom, because he doesn't sleep at night.

He has his own room for his own clutter and cleaning.

I really enjoy having my own space.

I store precious heirlooms and use them as xmas decorations - once a year.

I always ask myself: "Do I really need this to live?"