I love pouring time and energy into my home not only because I enjoy the results but also because, on a fundamental level, I find the process deeply fulfilling. Yet I realize that many of my friends and acquaintances don't quite understand why I dedicate so much of my spare time to projects, tweaks, and research. Is there some point at which spending time improving your home becomes frivolous?
Rita of the blog This (Sorta) Old Life composed a piece last week that I feel eloquently expresses why pouring oneself into such projects is neither frivolous nor overindulgent. She writes:
As I embarked on my quest to make my house "nice," I had no idea what choices I really needed to make, much less the questions I should be asking, but the more I dug into "fixing up" my broken-down house, the more I saw that every choice reflected and shaped the lives we were living in it. Replacing the horrible carpet with new flooring, for example, wasn't just about what might look good.It was about what might hold up well under my family — which meant looking at how we lived, and how we might live.
It was about what would be required to maintain it, which meant looking at how we lived, and how we might live.
It was about what I could afford (in both time and money), which meant looking at how we lived, and how we might live.
It was about which flooring material was most in-line with my values, which meant looking at how we lived, and how we might live.
How we do home is how we do life.
While it's undeniable that looking at blogs and magazines can make me yearn for things that I absolutely don't need, it's nice to be reminded that the reason I got interested in design in the first place wasn't simply centered on consumption or aesthetics. Outfitting our homes is fundamentally about making meaning out of our daily lives and about getting to know ourselves better through the places that we live and the things that we love. Sometimes taking the time to think through the needs, hopes, and desires we have for our home can help us realize some key needs, hopes, and desires for our lives more generally, and there's certainly nothing frivolous about that.
For more of Rita's insights, visit This (Sorta) Old Life.
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the first paragraph took me by heart, as I keep telling my friends almost the same thing. I love my tiny little apartment and the projects give me such pride or the items I purchase have a story to tell.. People just do not get it. I am glad that there are ppl out there who have similar feelings.
Thanks for sharing this.
Oh, it's just my boyfriend the Best String Art Ever. I've had it in my inspiration folder for forever, and if you ever get sick of it I will take it off your hands and cuddle it at night.
My friends think i'm crazy - as i've poured hundreds of hours and $$$ into my apartment since buying it two years ago..of course, I love to work with my hands, so it's not like it's really a chore. It makes me happy, inspired and fulfilled yes, but more importantly I am building equity!
Frivolous would be where someone has to fully redecorate or renovate the same space every few years.
The worst decor mistakes happen when people FAIL to remember that it's about how they live. Especially when they adopt totally unsuitable (for them) trends just to be trendy.
Thank you so much for sharing our post here. Knowing that our words/work are helpful to someone else makes us really happy. A great lunchtime surprise to find this here!
We almost sunk $6k into getting strand bamboo flooring installed in our house before taking a good step back and looking at our lives, and realizing that our 2 80lb dogs would destroy it in short order and we'd be replacing it before we ever sell the house. We eventually came to the decision to spend a little more ($8k) on porcelain tile that looks like wood and shouldn't need replacing in the foreseeable future. Plus it's easier to keep clean and should look new for it's entire life.
I love this post. I've changed a lot of things in our house since we moved here three years ago. It was freshly painted before we bought it, and nobody could understand why I wanted to repaint everything right away, because it looked "fine". Well, it's because "fine" isn't good enough for me. I wanted MY colors in here, not the choices of some random painters who were hired to paint an empty house. There are some larger projects we'll eventually need to tackle (kitchen and bathroom), but in the meantime, I make those areas look as good as I can with what's already there.
I'm always changing things around my house. My kids are little (except for the one who is not), and they are constantly changing at their ages. Why should the spaces they inhabit remain static? What works for a while might not be as good six months later. People who know me think I am crazy, but in the end, they always agree that it's better.
Ahhhh...comrads...glad I am not the only one! I redid my kitchen last year..to the studs...now that I have nothing else to do...I wanna buy a new sink and instead of the four pc. faucet...I want just one00...you know...cause the one I bought last year is old now...sigh...smh..
I bought my brand new construction house almost two years ago after renting for several years. I couldn't wait to own my own place so I could do whatever I wanted to it and all I've managed to do since I moved in is paint the dining room. I am having such a hard time deciding what I want. I'm full of all these good ideas but I just can't seem to settle on anything.
Some of us are looking for meaning, home equity, and self-reflexive living, and some of us are frivolous, aesthetics-obsessed, consumers. Why get all moralistic about it? I respect that some people find deep meaning and value in making their homes, but do you really need to put down those of us who don't to make your point?
I enjoy spending time on my home too!
Wish I knew the author of this quote.....
"Time is never wasted when spent doing what you love."
Maybe that's why I'm always so reluctant to work on my home. Deep down, I feel it's frivolous. Whilst I have helped others to renovate, have a home with great bones, and have accumulated lovely pieces over the years, even rearranging said furniture or hanging artwork is a huge upheaval for me. I have owned our house for over 15 years, and still have not gotten round to gutting and renovating the downstairs cloakroom. I have the means, the ideas (thanks to AT, among other sites that I pore over) and free rein, but I'm ashamed to say that this apathy when it comes to my own home has prevented me from doing anything. I am in awe of people who invest their time and energy to create a beautiful home.
What sofa is that?
I'm constantly having this discussion with my llive-in boyfriend. He doesn't understand why I want to put so much time and effort (and money) into our condo when we have so many other things to do. It's hard to explain to somebody who doesn't really care about such things how important it is to create a 'home' to me.
I'm not a painter, I like my off-white walls. I read a lot of comments that are pro-painting and that's cool, but that's not me, you see, I like walls that go with any decor that I so choose. I never had a problem decorating with white walls or keeping them clean. It's about what is required to maintain the walls, which means looking at how I live, and how I might live (To borrow phrasing from above). I'd rather have pops of color from things that I love that I acquired over the years.