I can only paraphrase this one--it must have been 20 years ago on Martha's Sunday morning show. Martha was demonstrating seed-planting in one of her garden plots, . Hoe in gloved hand, she carved out a couple of neat little furrows. Then it was time to seed. Whipping off her bulky gardening gloves, she added "And I wear these surgical gloves to plant the tiny seeds." And she was wearing surgical gloves under those gardening gloves! Voila! I was hooked. (I love Martha.)

Oh fun! I remember something from her show, some years ago, that really stuck in my craw. She and her guest (I can’t remember who) had just stayed at a particular bed and breakfast somewhere in New England, and she positively raked the owners over the coals on television (not directing it at them, just talking about them) because they had provided her with sheets that had polyester in them. She just had a terrible night’s sleep, and made faces and noises as if the whole experience was just so distasteful and tacky because of the horrible feel of those sheets. That must have made the owners feel swell.

Her early Thanksgiving specials were a riot. I know so many of us have 5 different sets of fall/Thanksgiving china to choose from :-) My best memory of one of those specials was her making stuffing. She was mixing about 100lbs of stuffing in a 50lb bowl. It was crazy. I still don't know why they didn't just do a second take. My mom and I still refer to underestimating mixing bowls as a "Martha".

Martha Stewart told Vanity Fair, "I hate lockdown, it's hideous."

Several years ago she had a guest on her show talking about laundry. The guest said something about folding men's socks. Martha said "I haven't done that since I got divorced." I loved it.

I always love when she gets together with Conan. I also like that she can have a sense of humor about her self.

http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/03/10/conan-martha-stewart-vibrating/

She can be so funny when she doesn't mean to be.

"It's a good thing" - Classic Martha Stewart

P.S. Found this one online: "I catnap now and then, but I think while I nap, so it's not a waste of time." Oh Martha

I love when she makes these almost scandalous comments referencing men or past experiences. I can't recall any at the moment. I also really enjoy when she pokes fun at herself referencing jail time.

While she can come off condescending at times, she cracks me up. I do think when you live an extravagant, not a true reality for the rest of the world type of lifestyle for so long, it's only natural to have those moments where you sound condescending or whatever you'd label it. We all know she's sittin' pretty, but I find her entertaining and she's done a marvelous job of building an empire, surrounding herself with like-minded people to be an extension of her.

I love Marta. She was able to create a business empire out of hard work and good taste. She's my hero and she's darned funny.

Martha. Martha. Martha.
Sorry for the typo.

This may be getting a bit off topic, but has anyone out there read "The Diamond Age" by Neal Stephenson? I think Martha is basically a Vicky. She places high value on a 'correct' and 'best' way to do things, often handcrafted in nature. There is no way for her to completely surround herself 24/7 with these 'best' and 'correct' things entirely through her own labor, so she lives in a series of compounds staffed by people she hires to manage and produce things for her in a Martha Stewart-approved manner. The underlings who produce these goods and services for her (although, one must admit she is frighteningly good at doing almost all of them independently, when she chooses to) are the backbone of her empire.

Neither here nor there in relation to the Vickys, Martha also makes pronouncements from on high every now and again about how us poor plebes ought to be doing things, and she has an amazing ability to both be condescending and maddeningly informative at the same time. I can't say I like what I've heard about her as a person very much, but she puts out great product.

One of the few things I like about Martha is that she'll scrape every last bit of a mixture out of a bowl with a rubber spatula. It's due to her thrifty Polish upbringing, I tell ya. I do the same thing. (It also makes the bowl easier to clean)

Holy cow. I'm Polish and I never knew it till just now.

I always think of all the TASTE we would of missed over the decades without Martha.........: )

My favorite Martha moment was years ago, when she had as a guest on her show a woman who made gossamer crepes for a restaurant in New York. The guest spontaneously decided that her crepes needed more sugar, and [gasp] stuck her hand into the sugar bowl to scoop it out. HORRORS! How could such an uncouth cretin make such wonderful crepes?? The look on Martha's face still makes me laugh, remembering.

Martha v. Oprah. Classic.

I wish I had a quote...but this discussion reminds me of my first year of college when a large group of us would gather in the lounge to watch (and laugh at) her show. I also loved it when she'd be on Letterman making something, and would basically ignore his joking around and keep working instead of playing along.

So many memories---where to begin? Martha has taught me a lot over the years. One of the more important lessons was not to be so particular you drive everyone around you bonkers. I remember her lemon meringue pie recipe. The meringue was 12" high! Not kidding! How anyone could cut and move that to a plate was beyond me. Also, she was talking about not using paper towels in her kitchen---just white cloths because of the trees that could be saved. Then soon after she was making sandwiches for a picnic and she used half a roll of waxed paper to wrap the sandwiches to put in the fridge till time to pack the picnic basket. Then she proceeded to rewrap them in another type of paper to pack them. She also said to a woman guest that she never uses her dishwasher! Everyone knows dishes are cleaner and more sanitized and you use way less water than handwashing. I can see handwashing delicate or antique objects, but not everyday dishes! (Does Martha HAVE everyday dishes? Wonderful, beautiful, hardworking, clueless Martha---she sure is entertaining!!!

one of my fav not in reality martha moments was when she was talking about how she cleans her shower using one of those detachable spray shower heads. & how she refused to stay in any hotel that didn't have them b/c how on earth were those baths ever cleaned w/o a detachable shower head?????

My mom turned me onto the show "Whatever, Martha!" (now canceled, sadly) where Martha's daughter Alexis and her BFF would snark on all the Martha-isms from all her shows over the years.

Some of my favorites that I remember was when Martha displayed her fine linen armoire. It had tableclothes, sets of sheets, linen napkins, hankies, doilies, etc. All were pressed. Many were hung from special hangers with clips that had padding so as not to disturb the fabric. Items laid flat had decorative tissue paper in between and were perfectly folded and stacked. I'm talking 90-degree right angles. The cherry on top was that she had calligraphered (?) labels on heavy paper to show how all the items were to be organized. Watching it just made me wonder where she came from, universe-wise.

It was when my mom was going through chemo treatment and was all hopped up on ativan. So she would usually fall asleep in the middle. I would watch them without her and then make her rewatch the good bits when she woke back up. Fun memory in a not-fun time :) (PS: Mom is fine)

We lovingly yell an exasperated, "WhatEVER Martha!" at each other when one of us tries to correct the other on some domestic task. (i.e. "You should really stack that bakeware like *this*" or "This tablecloth has some creases, did you iron it already or shall I?")

That's beautiful, kpaupau!