In Bed With Martha: Favorite Quotes from the Homekeeping Maven

I admire, respect, and enjoy Martha Stewart, but she does say the darndest things. Last time, we marveled over her packing and moving tips (how to pack a chandelier, make a separate trip for every single mirror), and this time I thought I'd share Martha's best bedroom bon mots...

  • "If it's a water bed (and yes, I have had some experience with those, though I never owned one)..." Do tell, Martha! I had to divide this quote in two because that portion deserved undivided attention. Let's continue.
  • "...much of this won't apply because canopies, special mattress and box spring covers, and bed skirts aren't necessary for the typical water bed — or army cot or hammock for that matter." There's something about this sentence that makes me feel like that's how Martha Stewart thinks about the rest of us, like who knows what we're sleeping on, so she's attempting to be diplomatic, but comes across as a bit condescending.
  • "I was able to find six special four-poster queen-size bedsteads in North Carolina and then ordered my favorite Charles H. Beckley mattresses and box springs — firm." While we rough it on army cots or scrimp & save to buy one mattress, on layaway, she buys 6 beds, 6 box springs, and 6 mattresses in one sitting. That's not super helpful.
  • "This might seem trivial, but it has long been my quest to find and sleep in the most comfortable bed in the world...(I will not consider here the company with whom one shares a bed, for that alone could change the rules of the quest.)" No, please consider it, Martha! Now that would be an entertaining article.
  • "...and there were a top sheet and four spectacular pillows." Spectacular!
  • "I was no longer intrigued by any other type of blanket." Indeed.

Now, I wasn't able to remember and find quite as many of her boudoir quotes as I would have liked, but that's where you come in. Any favorites from magazine, radio, or television?

(Image: Martha Stewart. All quotes from Remembering by Martha Stewart, Martha Stewart Living 2004 and From My Home To Yours: Bedrooms Worthy Of Dreams by Martha Stewart, Martha Stewart Living 2008.)

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