That little guy staring at the screen up there would be my almost two-year-old son KJ, holding my wife's iPhone and playing Tiny Wings. At his age, it's almost impossible for him to ignore technology, since he's always got some of it around him, making him more and more curious. But this started my wife and I wondering, "is this the right or wrong time to introduce him to tech?"
Let me start by saying that I'm no expert in the field, and I'm a first time parent. But these are some concepts that both my wife and I agree on, and maybe they're something you would consider for your child as well.
1. Limiting Tech Time: My biggest concern with our son is that he's going to grow up to be fat and lazy like, well, me. Since my parents never really had any interest in sports, neither did I, and as a result I'm just not that athletic. Since I'm now more of a sports guy, I want my son to learn the joys of playing outside and getting exercise, and that means limiting his time with shiny gadgets. Right now there's no set time limit, because he's still too young to really put that in place. But soon we'll be taking careful note of the time he spends with anything with a screen, and balancing it with exercise.
2. Spend Time Exploring With Him: We're pretty much an all-Apple household, so we've got an iPad handy that we use to teach him how to read, as well as play educational games with him. But we don't just throw him the iPad and let him have at it, we play with them together. Not only does it increase our bonding time, but while we're teaching him something as well. As an added bonus, it keeps the tech safe, too. Which brings me to ...
3. Make Sure the Tech is Replaceable I don't want to spend $300 or more on a new iPhone anytime soon, so when we do allow our son to play with it, we do so in a room with lots of carpeting, or in a generally padded area. Fact is, he's young and when he gets frustrated, he can start swinging things around, potentially breaking them in the process. Conversely, we don't let him play with our primary computers, because we rely on them for work. It's a matter of giving him some space, but not too much.
4. Play With Him: My wife and I are both gamers, so when our son sees us on the couch with a controller, he wants to hold one too. So to appease him and to have some fun together, we'll throw him on our lap, wrap our arms around him and play the game while he's holding his own. Because of his age, he mimics our movements and that's helping his hand-eye coordination. These skills are important even at this age, and have already translated into him hitting a wiffle ball a good 20 feet across our backyard -- with the wrong end of the bat.
(Image: Kevin Whipps)
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It's kind of sad how tech centered we've become even at such a crazy young age. Sad that you actually have to point out "play with your kids!" but it's true. My hubby and I went out to eat the other night and while waiting for a table noticed EVERY child in the waiting area had some form of tech glued to their faces- mom's iphones or Nintendos or even their own phones (and I'm talking kids about 3-5 here) We both work in incredibly tech based jobs and both just shook our heads at this. When tables were ready, parents didn't even talk to the kids, just took their hand and drug them to the table while the kids never even looked up.
That said, days from having our first child, we decided good and hard we're just not going to make these things go-to's for our child right away. We didn't have this stuff as kids, and were slowly introduced to it, so we're going to do the same (I know, easier said than done) but we're putting an emphasis on books and paper/crayons and things. Real toys. TV is fine, but I'm not letting tech teach my kid. That's my job.
I think it can be done. I have friends with two kids who have had full, rich childhoods without tech. There was no TV in the living room, and limited, supervised computer use. No handheld video games at all. And they live in NY - not the boonies.
A 2 year old doesn't need tech devices simply because we have them any more than they need to drive like we do. We all know first-hand how addictive and mesmerizing tech devices are - so it's important to limit their exposure to them so they can spend their valuable younger years engaging with other things. If you must, turn them off and let them PRETEND they're using them.
It's not just about tech, gadgets, TV, snacks, spending money, whatever. If you don't want your kids to turn out spoiled, whiny, entitled, then you set limits, period. No, you cannot have $20 just like that because you asked for it.
Kids need to learn how to earn things, privileges, etc.
This is a tricky one. We limit computer and screen time. We don't do video games at all. BUT, the ages our kids are (7 and almost 3), I'm telling you, sometimes I'd LOVE to hand them an iphone or a DS or something @ a restaurant! Instead husband and I have to try to keep them entertained, under control, bring crayons and things along.
Interesting article I saw today about how "media multitasking" can harm social and emotional development:
http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2012/01/30/study-face-time-benefits-preteens/
You might not be an expert but you might have included what the experts on infant cognitive developement *do recommend*:
none.
yeah, we learned the hard way to limit our two-year old's tech usage. He used to play with my iPhone all the time and it got to where every time we were out, he'd want it and would pitch a fit until he got it. After my phone died (coincidence?) and was replaced with a new one, he stopped asking for it. I think he doesn't recognize it as the same gadget and I'm not going to correct him. :) Now when we're out running errands I do other things to keep him occupied.
I am all for limiting tech time and focusing on outdoor activities and staying healthy, but discouraging tech is just as bad. While 2 years old is definitely a bit young for most tech since kids are still working on very foundational life functions, at the same time, my boyfriend started building computers when he was 8. He grew up building computers in order to play videogames, went to art school, got a film degree, and now he makes incredible money working with computers despite not getting a degree in computer science. Raising your kids to have a thirst for knowledge and interest in computers, especially one that goes beyond Angry Birds and goes more into how they work and how to use them to productive purposes, is incredibly important in this day and age. The tech will be there for them either way, but teaching them how to use it and understand it should definitely be a part of their home education. It just needs to also be tempered with exposure to more active hobbies so that you don't wind up with reclusive obese little monsters.
@ holler HOLLER! (I agree)
@ holler - well said. I tend to be a handmade wooden toy/outside playing kinda mom BUT I also think a healthy dose of tech is good for exactly those reasons. It's a tech kinda world, if my preschooler grows up thinking of it as just another part of life then maybe he won't treat it like forbidden candy?
Plus, I would far prefer him to watch trash truck videos on youtube or play matching games on the ipad than get sucked into marketed-character stuff and commercials on TV. But he is a run-around kid at heart, so his ipad time is usually only in the late-afternoon lull after a full day of running and climbing and dancing. If he didn't love books, I would cut out the tech just to encourage reading.
I think most parents know deep down if the tech or the candy or the toys or whatever are kind of out of control, it's just a matter of making changes when necessary. Which sounds easy enough, right? But I can say (as a mom of a teenager, too) that it is one of the biggest challenges of raising kids.
I always say, kids have the rest of their life to use technology, do homework, watch movies, etc. They have such a short amount of time to just be a kid. Don't squander it pushing grownup stuff on them when they are still in that magical zone of childhood. I have four kids and we decided from the start to have zero technology. Yes, zero, as in no TV, no movies, no videos, no computer. Once they got older, we started introducing it gradually. Despite being tech-deprived, my 12-year-old daughter can now navigate the computer just fine. They catch on quick. Meanwhile, they are all love reading books and playing outside and it just doesn't even occur to anyone to ask for screen time.
This is the first generation that is growing up with a huge amount of "screen time" and tech as the norm. I am in my early thirties, and I didn't even have an email account until I was in college. Children today are bombarded with images on screens from the moment they are born, and parents that actively avoid this are considered "fringe". But the truth is that we have no way of knowing how this will change their development or what this will do to their generation socially because there is no precedent.
We do know that tech is not essential for childhood development, and most of the research on the topic shows it is not beneficial. What is there to lose by waiting till kids are a bit older (10-12 maybe?) to incorporate a lot of tech into their lives? My kids watch no TV, no computers, no video games, etc, etc. They are great kids and they don't really know anything different. They do know how to play for hours on end, entertain themselves, enjoy the outdoors, maintain sanity on a long car ride or flight, and interact with other kids without being "plugged in".
It's never too late to be introduced to computers. After all, we all learned how to use the internet as teens or adults, and it hasn't slowed most of us down a bit. But you can never reclaim those early childhood days that should be spent splashing in puddles, baking messy cookies and finger painting all day long.
Hard one.
I don't have techs at home, but we do watch Disney and Myasaki films on my computer. I'd say 50 minutes maximum per day, three days a week. Being very pregnant, I appreciate the down time, and we talk a lot while watching. We name the animals in Bambi (I edit that movie a lot), we comment on everything happening in Ponyo or Totoro. I think of movies as a moving books that are something to share, not to watch alone.
The real problem with most tech, and TV especially, is that it keeps you passive. As long as you keep being active in front of children' movies and limit screen time, I don't see any problem. And it's real fun to dance with the elephants in the Jungle Book !
We tend to be more gregarious in Winter, so movie and book time is up. I'm eagerly waiting for spring and especially summer, since the baby girl will be born and we'll spend our afternoons at the park. You can't beat being outside.
Bravo @threebeans! Us too. When parents visit our home for a playdate, they say it feels like "camping" -- especially when we have a roaring fire and the kids are busy building "spaceships" with their magna tiles. Throw in a little '60 jazz on the record player and it's an unbeatable aesthetic for domestic bliss. For us, it's the perfect counterpoint to living in the middle of Manhattan. I don't envisage tech entering our lives till they have to research things for school, in oh 5 or 6 years time. Till then, it's 24/7 camping. :)
I agree with @ThreeBeans - kids only have a small sliver of time to just be children. We shouldn't be in such an all-fired rush to make them mini technologist and insatiable digital media consumers. Kids need more time learning to fingerpaint, riding a bike, painting pictures, and doing other, tactile fun stuff and much less time hooked into a screen. They need more time to be bored and have to rely upon their own imaginations - screen time doesn't foster creative thinking.
We've got to seriously consider the NEED for technology in our children's lives because there's shockingly little evidence that computers do anything whatsoever to boost academic performance or improve kids' quality of life.
Talking Toys
This is a hard one because you have to remember that the Tech influence is the time in which we live. You have your face glued to your smart phone all day in front of your kid and then tell them they can only do 50 minutes? Hum.....
Also, I think we forget that video games have been around forever. My brothers all had little handheld games growing up and that was 25 years ago. Little football games and hand help card games. That is old stuff. Both my brothers have their own computer businesses right now. One in advertising and one in graphic design so its not all bad.
Everything in moderation and nothing is all bad.
It's all about balance. My three year old has an iPad2. We allow him to use it for about 15 minutes a day. He's a digital native and I have to simply embrace it, but as with anything else too much of one thing could be a bad thing.
As the mom of an 18 month toddler I read this post and the comments with great interest.
I am not a big fan of TV and neither is my husband, so we haven't owned one in 10 years together. Consequentially, I don't have any problem limiting my child's TV time ;-) because obviously, here is absolutely none in our household.
We the parents aren't fond of games either (no WII, nintendo, etc. at home), so that's another front free of problems (we love reading on the internet or from Nooks). She sometimes catches the cellphones or the landline phone, and we have to work hard to keep her lovely hands away from our e-readers. As it turns out, her most favorite tech toy ever is an old calculator with shiny buttons which she puts against her ear and says "hey-oh!".
We have laptops and one large screen, so we select and monitor every second that shows up there (sounds like we're control freaks, which we're not). But we play music often, and there are plenty of books around, and old notebooks from which she tears pages away with glee.
But I can't help but wonder: when she starts talking, will she have any problems blending with her daycare classmates because she hasn't seen such or such shows on tv? Will other kids mock her because she can't play such or such game on any portable device? Will she feel left out because we won't buy her an expensive phone for her 6th birthday?
I cannot give my child something I don't have (the slightlest passion for tech toys), and I hate to abide to what other parents do just because, but this doesn't necessary mean our bond is of better quality per se. Matter of fact I wonder if I'm depriving her of essential life abilities, though it may be argued that she will get them anyway.
Just thinking. I'm really liking this thread.
Everything in moderation
I am a teacher (and a mom of 2) and I attended a continuing education conference this past year. One of the seminars was on technology in the classroom. It was about how in the coming years each student (pre-k & up) will have a tablet instead of books. The classroom desks will be stations or docks for the tablets. Parents, teachers and students all would be connected. It outraged people to no end at this seminar. I personally feel that this is where our future is heading. Embrace technology and as with anything else (tv, toys, junk food, friends, etc.) monitor your children.