i think its a combination of both. amongst those whose places I have had the chance to visit, I feel like there is a difference in those who have a "home" and those who "just live there". I can't say I share the same comfort in those places that seem to me the persone "just lives there".

It's a joy when you're doing it to make yourself happy and when you have your eyes on the final outcome of a fun project (tasty new dish, planted garden, design etc). It's a pain and an annoyance when the mundane chores like laundry and dishwashing feel overwhelming since they must be done before you can move on to something more fun.

I'm a full time homemaker and love it. I think if I had a job outside the home it would be a different story, mostly because finding the time to do all the things I currently love to do (crochet, knitting, baking, etc) would be almost impossible.

I recommend reading The House That Cleans Itself for anyone too concerned about perfection before company. Aside from the "put your faith in God" bits it's relevant to every AT reader. I started the system two years ago and cleaning is now a breeze, even with a four year old in the home. I also don't worry too much if there are a few dishes in the sink or toys on the floor when a surprise visitor shows up now.

basic dusting and cleaning is all i can manage..but with kids i think if we expect a spic and span place..then it is either the children are too disciplined and pick up after themselves or that they dont have any freedom at home

Both

I enjoy selecting new items to bring home and rearranging - but housekeeping and editing isn't my strong suit.

I've given up on the all out clean. A three year old will do that to you. What I do, is clean one area really well, focus on the mantel, the sideboard, the cushions/pillows on one couch, or even a side table. Throw some fresh flowers inito the fray and I at least can look upon one area and feel that sense of home-making pride.

I think in modern day society, homemaking is a bit of a burden for some. In many ways the role of women has changed, but it has also stayed the same in others. Most married gals I know carry more responsibilities than their husbands and (more times than not) feel overwhelmed. Often stuff around the house is left to women, and those women often have full-time jobs and take responsibility for most matters with children. I know this is not the case for lots of families, but I know it goes on more than people care to admit. Also, I know this post was not geared towards only women being homemakers, but lets be honest.... most of us take responsibility for domestic duties!

A privilege... I feel very fortunate to have a beautiful place to live (my parents built me a home on their property, I'm so grateful, could never afford that neighborhood on my own). I'm also grateful that I make a good income and can afford nice things that need to be taken care of.

That said... I try to streamline as much as possible. Having a small home, closing the windows while at work (less dusting), higher gloss paint (easier to clean) and daily maintenance. If you left stuff go, it sometimes gets harder and harder to clean later. Dishes are a prime example of this.

That said, I have no children. I was completely overwhelmed with a 2000 sq ft house my ex husband and I lived in, I can't even imagine with taking care of children. I think, under those circumstances, I'd go with the burden. The housework will be there later, its more important to spend time with your family.

@LovieDovie - This seems to be pretty much the way I live, cleaning and straightening as I go. I only have to do a big cleaning ever 1-2 months, and yet my house is clean, neat and always ready for company. Nope, I don't have kids, but I do have animals and lots of visitors.

Burden - all the way! We own a big old Victorian and we DO love it (don't get me wrong) but it is WORK...it's essentially a part time job on top of the full time job we both do. The Mowing...dishes...vacuuming...dusting...picking up...it neeeevvveerrr ends. I live to just "sit down". I don't know how other ppl do it; I really don't. Thankfully, no kids or it'd be 1,000x worse!

As someone who can't afford most of the things promoted by this site, but still likes to look, I have to say, keeping your home the way you want (or living where you want, or owning your home) is definitely a privilege.

If homemaking and housework is supporting a happy life (ie, keeping my home presentable a majority of the time so I can enjoy spontaneous visits with friends and keeping dust down so my poor cat doesn't get an allergic attack), then great, it's a privelege.

If, however, I'm making myself crazy over perfectionist details that don't matter and are detracting from my happinesss (ie, stressing over ironing a shirt I won't wear for another season or contemplating polishing the silver before I leave on a vacation) then it's definitely a burden.

Definitely a privilege. Having the ability to purchase items to decorate your home is also a privilege...visit any of my neighbors who live in Section 8 housing and you'll see how bare they live (in terms of furniture, clothes, and food). I'd love to have the ability to purchase items without purpose.

I'm interested in the angle of homemaking as an act of rebellion. I gather from Asya's blog, my mama's table, that the quiet rebellion she refers to is the homemaking that followed practices espoused by a pre-Revolution guide. The rebellion described was the act of individuals who chose their own experience and histories over the government's insistence that there nothing of value existed before the Revolution.
So how does the concept of rebellious homemaking play now in this era, scattered as we are among so many disparate but joined cultures? I think it's an incredibly strong concept still. We are so beyond homemaking as a 1950's middle class American pastime/social marker. Whether you're a stay at home dad making jam, a steampunk hacker making your own furniture, someone who wants to recreate Martha's look in every room of your house, I think homemaking is practically perfect as a statement for modern rebellion against a whole host of imposed constraints. Anyone looking for a dissertation topic? This could be a good one.

In winter, weekends are almost exclusively spent on home tasks like cleaning and baking - and it is joyful. In summer, with the addition of yardwork, fishing, and many family weekend get-togethers, home tasks are snuck in between, and become chores because none is ever done completely, just barely kept up with, if that.

I guess for me homemaking is fun when it's a slow patient choice, not a chaotic responsibility. I wish I had a more balanced life (or no yard!) so I could enjoy it year round.

I try to keep the house tidy, and I do deep-down cleaning when I can't stand whatever the problem area is one minute longer, but I do it on an ad hoc basis. But I do that for my own peace of mind, not because I fear how the house will look to friends. My true friends, which is anyone who would be dropping over, are family, and they get what they get if they drop in. As Roseanne Barr always said, "Sorry about the mess, but we live here."

I have 5 children (2 now out of the nest), a husband, usually between 4-8 cats and at the moment a dog. Oh and I worked full time for most of my life.
There is a trick to it all ;)
Figure out what level of clean you are comfortable with and then find the systems that fit you, that level and your home.
Here is an example:
I figured out long long time ago that children, from the age of about 2 to oh 23, don't like to put clothes away in drawers all neat and folded and that I could live with wrinkled everyday clothes, so we got rid of all the dressers and bought big tupperware bins ($5 each) for each child, they scoop the clean laundry I have sorted and throw it in. Good clothes had to be hung. No chance of a dresser tipping over onto a toddler, the sat nicely in the bottom of the closet so don't take up floor/play space and the clean clothes are always where they should be.
Not that this is right for everyone, but the systems are out there.
Oh and as to the original question? I think real homemaking is becoming a lost art and feel it's a privilege.

Homemaking is a privilege to me. I love to cook, organize, tidy and decorate. I don't love to clean, but I'll do it. This is the career I have desired for so long, and now am finally getting to do it! In addition to being a homemaker, I work part-time from home. We don't have kids yet, but when we do, we hope that I will stay home with them and continue to be a housewife. Not because it's expected of me, but because it's one thing that brings me joy.

"Sorry about the mess, but we live here." love that, i might hang that on a wall somewhere.

it is a privilege to now own my home, but at the same time a burden. so both? i appreciate, as someone else mentioned, the privilege of owning my home and the ability to purchase 'items without purpose', i think many people take that for granted. at the same time my husband works crazy hours as a small business owner, so i end up doing the majority of the housework along with my 9-5. it sucks, but i like the house to look fairly clean.

Homemaking is a major privilege. Playing with my home decor is my favorite hobby precisely because it's optional. The housework is a necessity because it keeps the house useful. Housework isn't fun, yet it's very satisfying.

I have no experience homemaking with children. Those who do have my respect. There's no more important job in the world than raising kids. If you doubt this, then ask yourself how you'd even exist without it.

if you look at homemaking as a form of exercise (cleaning) & meditation (cooking, crafts, decorating), than you will not consider it a burden, but a joy

I'm not a good housekeeper. Today I pushed the button on the Roomba and pushed the button on the dishwasher, and was (*)(*) I had to take out the trash. And some one needs to dust this place. Is there a button for that?

maintaining a house + kids is a full time job. On top of a full time job. Even if you have both partners participating equally. I'm grateful that my partner is open to having a cleaning lady come in once in a while, and is actually actively pushing for one. I have not given in as of yet, but it is nice to have that option in the back of my mind.

PS. I said "maintaining" a house, because there's more to it than cleaning and decorating, there's the regular maintenance of fixing things, buying groceries, doing laundry and all other routine tasks. Cleaning is just a very small part of it.

There's just so much work. Always.

I feel priveledged for the burdens that come with homemaking.

Before I met my current husband, I was working full time and raising two small children on my own. There simply wasn't time to clean the nooks and crannies on a regular basis, hang laundry on a line, bake, sew...and I felt like I barely got to spend any quality time with my kiddos.

Marrying a man with two children of his own (who are also with us 100% of the time) meant that prospective daycare costs simply weren't worth my staying at my 9-5, nor was it what we wanted for our newly-blended family. So I chose to stay home. And then we adopted another...

Life with five kids equals huge messes, and just keeping the house presentable often has me sweating by the end of the day! Nothing is perfect all of the time, but fortunately we've got the older kids on a strict chore regimen and my husband is awesome when it comes to pulling his weight (and then some).

All that to say that yes, homemaking, whatever your situation, is a never ending labor of love.

@DianeS--I feel very rebellious being a homemaker/sahmother (we do not make much money). It is and was a privilege. May it be considered a cultural necessity in the future. We really need loving, educated, engaged parents staying home with their kids.

Definitely a joy! I enjoy everything (except occasionally I don't like shopping) associated with making a house a home.

I think it depends greatly on the individual. For myself, I deeply enjoy re-arranging furniture, vacuuming, painting a room or making some DIY art piece/useful thing for my home and family. That said, I could never be a SAHP full time and I can say that because I stayed home with our son for almost 2 years after he was born. I was BORED and I did not enjoy being a SAHP one bit. That doesn't mean I didn't love many parts of that life but the life itself is not for me.

I think that homemaking can be a huge revolutionary act though! Making things from scratch (sewing, baking, cooking, quilting, knitting), DIYing furniture and home improvements, growing and preserving one's own food, home (un)schooling, and living a life filled with authenticity can all add so much depth to a family's collective lives and the lives of those in the community. One doesn't need to be a SAHP to be involved in these revolutionary acts.

I say, ROCK ON HOMEMAKERS OF THE WORLD!!

A joy. Like everyone else these days, my husband and I are very busy. That makes the time we take to keep our home tidy and functional even more important. Cleaning, organizing, cooking, tidying become ways of celebrating our home and our lives within it.

Both my husband and I have tasks that we like and ones which we don't prefer. For the most part, we take what we like (I like organizing, he likes vacuuming). The rest we divide as evenly as possible. When I cook, he does dishes and vice versa. He does the floors and toilet in the bathroom along with the cat box and I do the shower, sink, and mirror.

Overall, we're pretty happy with the division.

I think it depends a lot on how appreciated you feel. When I was single, 100% of my household (me!) was thrilled to live in a tidy, clean apartment. (100% of my household also thought my cooking was fantastic!). I married a low key man who doesn't flip out for much. When I work all Saturday to get the house spotless, he doesn't celebrate the way I'd like. Homemaking now feels like more of a burden (even if being married is a privilege!).

I think it depends on how you define homemaking and what your situation is. Sure, being able to buy beautiful things and decorate your space the way you like it is a (class) privilege, as is owning a home (or renting an apartment) that is not in disrepair, having the free time to take care of it, etc.

However, as many people have pointed out, the less fun, more onerous aspects of homemaking tend to fall on women, even when those women have full-time jobs. I.e. men tend to work on the car or mow the lawn, which is great but doesn't need to be done every day; women tend to shop for food, cook dinner, clean up daily, etc (statistically speaking). So in that case, it can definitely become a burden - and a source of resentment. Even though I love decorating my apartment and actually enjoy some "chores," I hate cleaning the bathroom, doing dishes, and dealing with clutter. Yet, all aspects of homemaking tend to fall to me in my relationship (even with a partner who tries very hard to share equally), and I see some of these as a definite burden and source of frustration.

So, I think it's about whether you get to do what you enjoy doing with your leisure time, or whether you have to spend that time doing things you don't enjoy. I would encourage people to read the book The Second Shift by Arlie Hochshild for a really engaging look at this issue on a societal level.

I say cheat - cheat - cheat! cake mix still smells like homemade when it comes out of the oven. So what if there's a little dust on the shelf. A happy home is more important than a clean one.

I had to make some sacrifices when I decided to stay home with the children(and now homeschool). I sacrificed my style for pragmatic efficiency. It stays fairly clean because I've gone ultra minimalist, even to the point of taking up all the hard to clean carpets, painting the floors, and going without couches(Papasan chairs and floor cushions only) or much furniture. I still get toys and books cluttered around, but it's easy to clean with more surface area. A plastic rake and baskets are all you need to clean up the toy clutter. Yes, I rake the toys. It's a joy as long as you don't mind adjusting your life. I'd rather spend more time with my family than fussing, cleaning, and getting myself exhausted.

I appreciate beautiful things and good design (which is why I'm a fan of AT), but I do feel that 'homemaking' can be a chore. Our home reflects our lives, and, more often than not, is messy and chaotic. Having said that, people are always dropping in unannounced, and we often have house guests so they must feel comfortable with our mess.

I think homemaking is a privilege when it's an option and a burden when an individual has no choice.

When I'm stressed out I find cleaning therapeutic and the end result of a clean apartment is satisfying....until my roommate disturbs my peace with her messes, hah.