Nope.
As a musician who convinced his very pregnant wife to stay out late at a pub where his friend's band was playing just so their baby could be exposed to live Irish music in utero, that is a hard statement for me to make. But after spending a blazing hot weekend chasing my daughter around a festival where the music was basically delegated to background noise, I have to say if I had to do it over again, I would have taken her to a park instead. I'm pretty sure she would not have noticed the difference.
Of course I am well aware that every kid and every festival is different, as is the expectations of each parent. The one my family attended last weekend was the Green River Festival, a two-day event held in Greenfield, MA. It is a particularly family-friendly event, with a stage for kids' music, craft tents, big open lawns to play on and even a mardi-gras costumed parade. My wife and I and a large group of friends have gone for the last seven or eight years, and we plan to keep that tradition going for as long as the festival is running.
I am used to getting right up close to the stage, checking out the instruments and band dynamics and just absorbing the great live music vibe. This year, I basically ran up and down a grass hill and tried to stop my daughter from stealing every water bottle she could get her hands on--and there were many, as you can imagine. The music was too loud for her to get close, even at the kids tent, and frankly, she wasn't interested in the music anyway. The fact that pretty much every picture we have from the weekend was taken at our blanket with nary a musician in sight illustrates my point.
We had some wonderful family time, she got to interact with a lot of other kids, and we visited with old friends, all great stuff. But I couldn't help thinking that we could have achieved the same thing at a crowded park, or a beach, with a radio playing in the background.
Like I said, every festival is different, as each child is. Festivals where you camp on site would have allowed one of us to take her back to the tent for a nap while the other got to see some music. Other kids her age may be content to sit still for more than a minute, or might even be able to nap on a blanket or in a stroller in the midst of the noise and action. We knew our child was not a sit-still, nap-anywhere kid when we bought the tickets, but we figured we would give it a shot anyway. Lesson learned.
But the biggest lesson is for me, more of a reminder, really. Life is different now. I cannot expect things to be the same as they were before our daughter was born. You would think that by now that lesson would be burned into my brain, but I somehow hoped that I would be able to enjoy the music like I always did before, without restraints. But those days are over for awhile. I have to step back, take a deep breath, and learn to enjoy it differently. This weekend was a start. I still have a ways to go.
We will no doubt go again next year, with hopes that one more year will make things a bit easier (hope springs eternal, right?). I will be sure to pack my new-found wisdom and positive attitude right next to the sunscreen.
What lessons have you learned from attending music festivals or other similar events with toddlers?
(Images: Richard Popovic)
Small Cool Lessons: Discovering Small Space Design Ideas That Really Work
Marisa and Peter's Playfully Eclectic Home
Good Food to Share 
The Big Book of Small, Cool Spaces 
Apartment Therapy Presents 
The Eight-Step Home Cure 
Sheex Bedding
How to Make Fresh Pasta Dough in the Food Processor
How to Make Fresh Pasta Dough in the Food Processor
I hear ya. There are SO many things that don't seem to be worth the hassle with kids...even more so now that I have 2 kids.
Love the wagon idea! And I love Radio Flyer wagons in general.
Has anyone tried those kids' "ear muff" ear protecting headphones? I've seen friends post photos of themselves with a toddler in a backpack carrier wearing the ear muffs, right up in the middle of things at outdoor concerts. But I have no idea how you keep a small child from ripping them off constantly.
Duh, the wagon was a different post. :)
My brother is a musician, and so whenever their tour brings them to town, we go. My son has so far attended Coachella (in utero), a show at the Fonda in LA (at 6 months) and recently a show at the Wiltern (at 2 1/2). We have the noise cancelling headphones and he's been wearing them around live music, fireworks, etc since he was an infant, although there are times he wants to chuck them on the floor now that he's a toddler. The experence definitely changes as they age and develop a longer attention span.
The last time we went to a show I considered not taking him. Then I realized that it was less about how much he realized at the time, but more for the memories down the road. 15 years from now I would rather show him pictures of him sitting just offstage watching Uncle Matt play than telling him about how he was home with the sitter while we hung out backstage. Maybe we'll even get a little credit for being "cool parents" :)
We learned early on that we need to be ready to leave at any moment. There is a line where a fun, running, laughing toddler turns into a tired, hungry toddler who needs to be removed from its current settings. You hit upon the great things about these festivals -- friends, lots of open air, grass, areas to run. There generally tends to be a bunch of kid-friendly activities, too. Oh, and there's music too! The line-ups and cost make me want to spend the whole day, but our children never seem to have the same thought in mind -- so while we cart a portion of our home with us (chairs, toys, food), we know we probably will not make it until the end.
Don't despair! The toddler years are trying, but they are actually very brief, and I bet that within a year or two, that family-friendly music festival will be thoroughly enjoyable. We took our four-and-half-year-old to the Clearwater festival in the Hudson Valley this year and we all had a blast. He loved the "musical instrument petting zoo" and the Hudson River touch tank, and he even got to go on stage and sing "Puff the Magic Dragon" with Peter Yarrow! Plus, all of that running around exhausted him enough that we could settle onto a blanket to enjoy some adult music, too.
It sounds like you're getting to know what works and what doesn't for your daughter--and as soon as you've got it figured out, she'll change and you'll need to recalibrate again. But outdoor music festivals, especially ones with lots of kids' music and activities, are a great way for families to spend time together.
Some suggestions for future outings:
--Be prepared with the usual stuff (sunscreen, bug spray, snacks, water, etc.), but also with some unexpected necessities--we're well past the diaper bag stage, but I realized that a package of wipes would have come in handy. A light blanket or large scarf might encourage your child to nap during a particularly quiet set. And always bring a change of clothes, no matter how old your kid is (well, okay, maybe you can stop around age 17 or something.)
--On that note, quickly learn all bathroom and Port-a-Potty locations and make frequent, preemptive trips.
--Pack some small toys for those times when you are able to relax on a blanket and take in the music--depending on the kid's age, think Matchbox cars, books, puzzles, bubbles etc. It's unlikely your child's ability to get into the groove will align with yours entirely, so give him/her something to do while you're enjoying the show.
--At the same time, it could be fun to bring along some shakers or other small instruments for those times when your child really is into it!
--A music festival is probably not the time to hold the line on your policy of one junky treat per decade. There will be ice cream. Embrace it. Your child will not die of malnutrition after one day of subsisting on french fries and slush. If you're really concerned, try to push the edamame, hummus, and carrot sticks you've brought in during the first hour or so, when your child won't have noticed all the exciting options on offer, and then relinquish control for the later part of the day when your resistance is fading.
--If at first you don't succeed...well, that's what parenting all about, isn't it? Good luck!
When I see people toting around babies at Lollapalooza or Pitchfork, I always think they must be a little nuts. The heat, the crowds, the portapotties -- they're hard enough to deal with on their own, I can't imagine doing it with a tot in tow.
At that age, we really like the free concerts in the park series in our city. They are convenient, relatively short, you can bring whatever food and drink the little one likes, and you didn’t waste any money if you end up leaving halfway through because it got too close to bedtime. That age is hard to take anywhere. They are mobile and loving it, but don’t have much focus yet.
From as Momma of 4 (ages 11, 8, 4 years & 5 mos) next year will be different (probably better).
Like everything, I bet it depends on the kid. One of my daughters is roly-poly, jolly, go anywhere, do anything, etc. If she's tired, she naps in her stroller. If she's hungry, she'll eat whatever you got. Her sister, on the other hand, is anxious, married to her routine and will nap nowhere but her own crib. I'd consider taking one to a music festival and it would probably be a blast. The other would be happier at home with Grandma.
I'm just offering sympathy for the things that are Forever Different. For us, travel and restaurants. And great raging house parties (it's a surf town, what can I say? Nobody grows up here). Music and movies were less central for us. But the moment when it is driven home that things have forever changed is a bitter one. One of the lovely things about a second child is you've already had all those painful moments. My rule of life now is, The Fun Ends When The Baby/Kid Cries. Nothing is officially worhwhile once I'm holding a screamer. Putting myself in situations where I want to be free, most recently a museum, makes me despair in frustration over my life, so I just don't put myself in those scenarios. It's not healthy to feel that feeling, you know?
Also, yes on the wagon! Anybody know of a good folding one?
As a long time festival (Winnipeg Folk Festival) goer it was my turn to put into practice all the tips I'd gathered over the years, plus I was pregnant at last years event so I had plenty of unsolicited advice ;) This year it was so much fun to introduce our 8 month old son to the friends and family at the festival.... I was amazed at how fantastic he was, random people kept approaching us about how happy and friendly he was!
1. I stuck to my guns about my partner and I volunteering - helping the community is a huge part for me, so we asked our crew coordinator to book us back to back shifts rather than overlapping. The goal was that one of us could always be available for dedicated baby care, which worked for all but 10 minutes over the 5 day event.
2. We had road tripped from Toronto to Winnipeg for this, my packing list started almost a month ahead of the trip since there wasn't going to be much option of going back for something. I may have over packed a little but not by much - and I'd rather have over packed than forgotten something.
3. I knew we were packing some make or break items; the sling for the fussies, the pea pod for naps/sleeping, our stroller (city select, which has a big underseat basket)' a family sized picnic blanket for crawling and we purchased the Peltor baby ear protection - which he didn't fight at all, he even fell asleep during the evening concerts. We tried everything new for him in our yard to familiarize him with this new stuff.
4. Next year we're planning on either a folding wagon (apparently they're sold at Costco as a garden wagon) or a bike trailer/stroller, as well as one of those pop up umbrella shade structures.
We're still dealing with trying to get back into our routines, and his self feeding isn't nearly as good as before, but those really are minor when we get to think back to his first festival and how amazing it was to watch him interact with the place and music we love. Oh and we have friends who camp with their little ones out there... now that's crazy talk! Thank heavens for hotels ;)
I found this sentence interesting..."Festivals where you camp on site would have allowed one of us to take her back to the tent for a nap while the other got to see some music. " Now, I know that there is more to music than the aural, but see some music?
And yeah, things are different now for you. May you continue to enjoy your daughter...and sharing the things you love to "see".
As someone who was married to a music festival before my daughter was born (Pickathon was my annual summer adventure!), the minute my daughter came into the world, I had to be honest with myself that while a "family friendly" festival, it was no place for my kid. She was only a week old when it happened last year so we obviously passed. This year I considered going without her but realized that might be just a messy as she is now an (almost) one year old who still relies heavily on her mama. Sure, I'll miss camping out for a weekend, being filthy, hanging out with great friends while seeing great bands from morning till late night but my daughter will only be little once and no festival is worth us both being miserable for an entire weekend. That being said, you can guarantee I'll be back just as soon as I feel she's ready. And trust me, at least for my kid, even though Pickathon has camping, it's far too noisy for adults to sleep to say nothing of a kid who likes her white noise machine!
lol glad i am not the only one with the live and learn...or learning what the heck were doing as we go!
We have experienced the good, bad, and downright ugly at Austin City Limits, with ages 1-6. The experience relies heavily on family and child temperament, the weather (even the Oct dates of recent years can be a bit miserable), preparation, and luck. The advice re: being prepared to leave is spot on.... Just wipe away your tears and get moving. Yes, you may indeed by the one crying.
My take-away is that my elder does not care one bit about us being cool parents or showing her pictures of a festival, and she is a lot older than a toddler these days. We don't have smart phones, so procuring tickets at all has been rough in recent years; however, for the time being, I feel I deserve a chance to escape with my partner to enjoy music as a grown-up. We do everything as a family otherwise, including more family oriented one-day fests in town.
That said, you can't earn the official hipster badge unless you bring the family, and some kids seem to thrive on the energy. Mine clearly do not. YMMV.
I'm not sure my daughter would have been at 16mo, but at 21 months we recently took her to high sierra music festival (where we camped on site). She had a blast...but loves a celebration & music. At one time she seemed overstimulated (the music was louder than usual), so we left and found some kids' headphones that were for sale. These were key...she actually loved them & kept them on. They helped her from being bothered by the noise (& of course protected her ears), but also allowed her to nap while we walked her in the stroller around a quiet street. She also fell asleep with them on at night.
It was our first camping experience with her- but all went well, she loved the tent & stayed up late but slept late in the morning (she is typically a pretty difficult sleeper at home). You never know!
I think it would have been silly to assume you'd be front and center at a festival in front the speakers, doing your normal thing. Comes with having a kid. I can't hop in the car and go see a movie whenever I want anymore with ours like we used to. Comes with the territory. I could tote him along but I never would be "those parents" lugging a baby to a movie. A outdoor music fest is different though. It sounds like you had a nice time, just bummed you couldn't do what you wanted to do.
Lots of great comments, which I hoped would be the case. The points about being ready to leave immediately and trying out free concerts in the park are good ones, as is the use of ear protection. We borrowed some from a friend and unfortunately they didn't fly with my daughter. In response to 'seeing' music, it's like I said, I love to see it unfolding. As a musician who has played festivals (none this big, though) a big part of the experience for me is seeing vintage instruments and boutique amplifiers up close and trying to guess which tuning they are switching to between songs. My wife was absolutely satisfied to just listen from waaaaaay in the back, but it was tough for me. And in response to assuming I would be up front and center, I knew I couldn't do that this time around going into it. But there is a difference between knowing it and then being there and having reality settle down upon you. A real 'time to grow-up' moment for me which was hard to swallow, one which I wanted to share to hopefully start an interesting conversation. Thanks for chiming in everyone!
My fiance and I are a pair of big dirty hippies every festival season. We've been excited to have this baby, already, she she can start getting old enough to tag along- nothing makes us happier than seeing families at festivals. She's due in November, so we're probably going to leave her with grandparents (who are already clamoring to take her- she's the first in our families) next year, but we'll start getting her acclimated with local stuff. We've already established two rules for ourselves- 1.) if it's blazing hot outside (which it truly has been in our part of the country for the past two summers- temps in the 100s), she stays home and 2.) we won't ruin anyone else's listening experience with our fussy/screaming child, even if it means taking a break, ourselves.
I know there's a lot that IS going to change, but we're going into this ignoring everyone who says, "kiss your hobbies and free time goodbye, my friend." At 28 and 35 years of age, if we ain't "grown up" by now, we probably won't. Besides, we're the ones bringing up bebe, not the other way around. :)