Why would anyone expect a dog to readily accept a tiny new pack member who hogs all the attention and generates weird smells and sounds? Countless dogs are given up by new parents worried about their baby's safety, and we didn't want that to be our story. When I was pregnant with our first child, we hired a trainer to help us ease the transition for our dog. I remember a few smirks and giggles from friends and family, but several years and a few kids later, I still say that it's some of the best time and money we ever spent.
We worked with Janice Triptow, a Chicago-based trainer who teaches a popular Rover Meets Junior class. Janice came to our house, met our dachshund, Hirschl, and asked us some basic questions about H's place in our lives and how we envisioned our daily routines once we brought home our baby. We weren't just worried about the baby's safety; when I got Hirschl, babies weren't even on my event horizon, so of course I ended up with a dachshund, a breed with a delicate spine that doesn't always do best in families with small children. Still, he was here first and setting him up to succeed with a baby was part of our ongoing commitment to him.
In consultation with Janice, we designated spots in the nursery and kitchen where Hirschl would go on command to be close to the action, out of harm's way and out of our way. We talked about strategies for walking with a dog and a baby and even planned for my return from the hospital, when my husband held the baby so that I could happily give Hirschl a few minutes of my undivided attention before slipping off one of my son's tiny socks for a feet-first introduction (he already knew his scent from a baby hat that we had sent home from the hospital). When we brought home twin girls two years later Hirschl was equally amazing and gentle, and every day I am grateful for my furry firstborn, our kids, and their mutual affection, respect and devotion.
For expectant parents who don't have access to a trainer or a class, there are some great books out there. The one that I always send to friends is Barbara Shumannfang's Happy Kids, Happy Dogs, which has excellent advice for families with kids and dogs at all ages and stages.
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Good for you - I have two dogs (a beagle/basset hound mix and a pure beagle) and am currently 7 1/2 months pregnant. We too worked with a dog trainer about the transition because it was very important to us as well that our dogs continue to be a part of our family after our son is born. I'm so happy it worked out for you!
We (somewhat crazily) adopted a puppy (pit bull) when I was 5 months pregnant, and we too worked with a trainer to integrate baby-friendly behavior into his training. It's now three years later and the dog is more tolerant of my son than anyone else in the world. I also give complete credit to my very energetic dog for keeping me in shape while pregnant and helping me lose the baby weight with those twice-daily walks.
Thanks for mentioning this and for the great resource! We have a Great Dane and we puposely waited until he was about three to get pregnant (way calmer now and out of his puppy years). I think we have a little bit of a head-start on this because, since he is ginormous, we've put a lot of work into his training and his "manners." Still, he hasn't been around any little babies and there are a few things that I want to work on helping him practice/get used to before the baby comes.
I'm really more worried about how he'll cope with all the chaos of people stopping by to visit more than how he'll deal with the baby.
When I got my Jack Russell, Olive, as a surprise gift a few years ago, I was worried about having kids someday. So, to help prepare her, ANY kid that wants to play with her gets to! Although our own spawn aren't on the way yet, she will play fetch and obey commands from any child she meets. I know we will have work to do when an infant comes along, but I am already pleased with her progress, and I know she will continue to be a part of our family for the rest of her life. I think a trainer is a wonderful idea for an expecting family with any sort of pet!
Yes! I wish every dog owner cared enough to do this. Giving up your dog because you're having a baby is total BS. My dogs were my babies before my baby was my baby. It's a lot of work to make sure everybody gets what they need but that's what you do in a family.
We maybe should have done this. We had a dauchshund that was my baby before our baby...we thought we introduced them properly, but he was insanely jealous and would go after the baby anytime he thought he had a chance. He eventually bit our baby's face. Hard. He had to move on to another home, that had older children, and he bit that little girl's face, enough to require serious stitches. It was a sad time all around.
*we had to move him to another home not just because of the biting issue, but because we were moving out of state. The apartment complex we HAD to move into, no choice (my husband was in a grad student program, and as student housing, it was the only affordable option) had a strict no-dogs policy. THAT was a hard choice, too.
We are in the process of preparing our dog for our baby's arrival. With the help of a plan devised by our trainer we are acclimating her to the unfamiliar sights (strollers, car seats, bouncers, silhouettes of baby-wearing gear), sounds (recordings of different baby noises, from laughing to screaming) and smells (the baby products that we plan to use).
We have a baby doll that we practice carrying in our arms and car seat and wearing in the Moby, and are reinforcing polite behavior around it. Dogs love to investigate anything you are carrying so it's important to get a handle on any problem jumping ahead of time!
We are also making sure to acclimate her ahead of time to the new routine (nursery off-limits, smaller section of the car) and teach new behaviors that will help promote harmony with a baby in the house (reintroducing the crate for a safe spot to escape, getting a handle on door-rushing behavior, and changing up our exuberant play style and encouraging more "brain games" with puzzles, treat-dispensing toys, and homemade agility equipment.
Creating positive associations with all things baby is so important, especially for dogs with some anxiety issues (like ours -- she had to overcome a lot of hesitation about all the new baby gear, and especially baby sounds since she hasn't been around babies before).
@happybirthday--so sorry about your dog. Luckily our shi-tzu mix adapted easily and happily to his new little (human) brother, but our friends had to give up their puppy to adoption after the birth of their second since the dog just kept getting more crazy and aggresive (despite numerous training, etc).
I think planning and getting training is absolutely a good thing for all new parents, but sometimes a pup and babe just will not work.
Our giant american bulldog loves company and was so excited when we had our baby and we had even more company than ever! We also took her for lots of extra walks with baby so she associated the baby with lots of extras of her favorite activities. We made sure to spend alone time with just the dog after baby went to bed to make sure she felt she wasn't replaced. It worked well! Now that baby is older she wants to play with the dog. Our dog will let her play a little then walk away when she is over it, she gets a cookie for reinforcement.
I have a beagle and a black lab that were there before we had my son. We were always planning on having kids so while my dogs were pups I poked and prodded them, pulled their tails, ears, and fur. I did everything I though a baby would do.
Mind you my beagle leaves when my son is rough with her. My lab on the other hand used to lay at my son's feet when he was an infant and used to get the s**t kicked out of him, and still gets climed over and poked and nothing phases the dog. To train the dog to be gentle is good, but they also much be able to take the abuse that kiddies will dish out.
Thank you so much for taking the time to set your dog up for success.
Does anyone in the NJ/NYC area have a good trainer they want to recommend.. I love our dog to death and want to make sure that he does not feel rejected and that we go about this the right way.. he is too important to me not to!
I had to comment after reading tequila red's comment above. Perhaps the commenter meant preemptively giving up a dog b/c a baby is on the way, but we have a 14 month old and a 5 yr old corgi and despite YEARS of dog training, will either need to separate the two for years to come or rehome the dog. We are responsible dog owners, but unfortunately, we have an unstable dog. We are heartbroken but realists- the baby comes first, folks. If you have a difficult pup like we do, do what you can to prep the dog for success, but sometimes, the dog won't behave well around irrational children and that's when the dog gets the boot.
I grew with a great (bordering irrational) fear of dogs (any kind, any size) because the dog my family had was jealous of me (the dog was around 2 years old when i was born), and would growl, bark and make me trip (never actually bite me) everytime i got close to it. My family eventually got rid of it, and i could finally go to my back yard.
Training a dog for a baby is important, it may sound silly, and in some cases not necesary, but then you have cases like @happybirthday, or mine that show it can be dangerous not to do so.
Getting rid of a dog is hard, but all the theraphy the kid is gonna need because her/his own dog attacked it is harder.