This morning, I was greeted by two rather intriguing emails. One was a press release announcing Jennifer Love Hewitt's new dating advice book The Day I Shot Cupid; the other was from an interior design site touting advice tips from famed Hollywood designer Kenneth Brown. And while some would choose one over the other, I figured: Why not present both? After all, it's Friday: whether or not you spend your weekend improving your home or trying to find a special someone, at least you're covered. Well, sort of...
Tip #1
• Kenneth Brown: "Each room should have at least one unique piece that has a special meaning to you (even if it doesn't match the decor of the room)."
• Jennifer Love Hewitt says: (excerpted from her 20 Things to Do After a Breakup) "Make out with a stranger (he must be gorgeous or you'll feel worse)."
While we agree wholeheartedly with Brown, we're cautious on Hewitt's assessment. After polling the office, one sheepish AT writer admitted to getting mono from making out with a stranger. "I'd say that I definitely felt worse for about three months after The Incident; and I'm fairly sure he was gorgeous, but I did have an impressive pair of beer goggles on."
Tip #2
• Kenneth Brown: "If the pillows made for your sofa look better on your bed, switch them."
• Jennifer Love Hewitt: "Remember, your body is a temple, not a 7-Eleven."
As someone who mixes up throw pillows on the regular, I'd agree with Brown. And as someone who once relied on the 7-Eleven around the corner for late-night munchies, I'd also agree with Hewitt.
Tip #3
• Kenneth Brown: "When you can't find the right coffee table, switch your search to dining tables and cut the legs."
• Jennifer Love Hewitt: (excerpted from her list of What A Man Should Know): "'How to pick a diamond,' and 'To always have a coat for you.'"
Brown offers sage advice, encouraging us to be resourceful in our quest for that perfect piece of furniture. Hewitt offers plain craziness, although we're still debating over here whether or not we'd kick Ryan Gosling out of bed if he didn't have a spare coat perpetually on hand or if he didn't know the difference between an E grade versus a G grade diamond.
Tip #4
• Kenneth Brown: "Wallpaper the ceiling – it's the largest visible surface in the room."
• Jennifer Love Hewitt: "This is embarrassing and personal, but once a month, since I was twelve years old, I go to my favorite jewelry store and try on my dream ring."
We are calling foul: The general consensus around these parts say that wallpapering a ceiling would be one very difficult DIY project that may require scaffolding as well as three packs of Icy Hot Medicated Patches For The Back. As for Hewitt, I think NPR writer Linda Holmes put it best: "She is 31 years old. If this is true, she has made roughly 225 trips to the jewelry store to try on engagement rings. I do not know where to go with this."
Tip #5
• Kenneth Brown: "Buying green is great, but working with what you already have is even better."
• Jennifer Love Hewitt: (excerpted from her list of 10 Things To Do Before A Date): "Spray tan is a must."
We're all about using what you've already got, so kudos to Mr. Brown for pointing that out. However, there is an advantage to upgrading your old appliances to energy efficient ones. As for Hewitt's mandatory spray tan pre-date ritual, we'd say it's only necessary if you're fist-pumping on season 2 of Jersey Shore.
(Images: Kenneth Brown Design)

White Enamel Four-P...
Funny post.
And I really like the painting in the first picture.
I think this comparison is hugely unfair to Ms Hewitt. After all, considering her record of success at relationships, her book should not have been compared with a book on interior design by a competent professional, but with a book on interior design by, well, say, a Cat Lady.
hilarious! and i love the first picture.
I'm glad it was Mr. Brown, and not Ms. Love-Hewitt, who suggested cutting off the legs.
Very funny post, Grace. But for the record, please never use the phrase "fist-pumping" ever again. ESPECIALLY in a post (half) about dating rituals. :)
Hilarious! and I totally agree with your assessments, especially the last one. But mostly I'm left wondering what the heck is this girl doing writing a love advice book? Is it meant to be ironic?
I whole heartedly agree with design tips #1 and #5 and enthusiastically endorse Ms. Hewitt's Tips #1 and #2.
Great Post
very funny.
Thank you for a great Friday morning laugh
On wallpapering a ceiling... Don't do it not only because of the icy hot bill, but also for the poor people who might have to take it down in the future! Scraping wallpaper off the ceiling is much more painful than putting it up!
I must say that one of the highlights of reading Apartment Therapy is P2's comments. Hilarious!
A spray tan? Seriously? No wonder she hasn't married yet (lol).
Yes, very funny post! Does anyone know who painted the painting in the first picture?
Firgging buy the ring for yourself, already, Jen!!
8-)
the woman who bedazzles her lady bits writes advice for *other* people?
Does anyone TAKE it?
Ever since I heard JLH talking about her breasts as cool accessories, I've tuned out basically everything she has to say.
Excellent post. TY!
Ha aha ahaah. ah.
I'm going to go home and spray-tan my ceiling before my big date with a legless stranger....
he he he - what fun this post must have been to put together. Thanks for this - it's just what I needed on a Friday morning!
So so funny! This post was a great idea!
foog - Hah!
Such a fun and informative post--I don't know what to do first! Should I got to 7-11 to try on my dream ring? Or should I make out with the guy who's wallpapering my ceiling???? Hmmmm......
More tips tomorrow?
Hahaha.. this is very entertaining!
And J. Love.. I mean wow, this explains why she has been engaged so many times, the girl is way too caught up on just getting that ring. I think she needs to be reading some books, not writing one!
Oh, and the spray tan thing will always make me, a black girl, laugh out loud - literally. SMH
Oh how I wish Ikea still had that striped rug in the large size.
More of this, please.
Fantastic post! Just the perfect dose of design and humor I needed....
AT, how about a calendar with studly dudes in gorgeous rooms next? :)
very clever! excellent post.
funny post! and I agree, Patrick(t.o.o.) is on a roll this week t.o.o.
What a fun post to read! I liked the twist you put into it. God, JLH is clearly stark raving mad, and not in the, "I'm having tea with Johnny Depp" kind of way.
Picky point: the word "consensus" means general, so saying "general consensus" is being repetitive. Otherwise, amusing post.
I love this post!!
I had to google Jennifer Love Hewitt I now recognize her she sounds like s dimwit.
OMG Patrick agreed and funny!
I think I like the wallcovering the ceiling idea especially in a dining room.
Thank you! Will you do this every Friday? Please.
Hilarious! Thanks so much for mixing it up. Thanks, too, to all the excellent comment contributors (don't wanna get flamed for commenters/commentators).
foog and patrick t.o.o. rule!
Great post!
Where are the turquoise glasses from in the first picture?
thanks!
Oh Grace you are too funny. Thanks for giving me a good laugh on a Friday. Great execution of combining Kenneth Brown tips with Jennifer Love Hewitt tips. Taking dating advice for JLH, I don't know about that, but Kenneth Brown did have some solid advice. Also, loved the opening photo - stunning!
I'm sure that Hewitt's book is being described using words like "sassy," but I'm afraid she just comes across as a shallow, materialistic twit.
Exactly how is making out with a stranger treating your body like a temple? And I'm not even going to get into how disgusting it is to use someone like that . . . .
(Sorry about the cranky, Grace--my stress level is showing, I'm afraid. I actually liked the post and appreciated your creativity, I just really hate this kind of dating "advice"--seems to boil down to "the only thing that matters is how you look and how much stuff you can acquire.")
Funny, but I read all of her excerpts as a bit tongue in cheek and slightly self-deprecating, which made me like her even more.
Great post!! (Also, cool coffee table advice. I actually hadn't thought of that.)
ms hewitt sounds a bit err,,,, never mind.. I go with mister Brown esp on the first point!