KondoKards™: The Right Way To Say Thank You (& Sayonara) to Your Stuff

KondoKards™: The Right Way To Say Thank You (& Sayonara) to Your Stuff

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Carrie McBride
Mar 30, 2016
(Image credit: Carrie McBride)

Are you on the Kondo wagon? Tidying your home within an inch of its life, shedding belongings that no longer give you joy, caressing your remaining clothes to infuse them with positive energy. Devout followers of the KonMari method, prescribed in Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, know that she doesn't merely suggest getting rid of things but bidding them a proper farewell. KondoKards™ are here to help you do just that.

When parting company with your stuff, Kondo suggests uttering a "thank you" for a job well done:

"Thank you for giving me joy when I bought you."

"Thank you for teaching me what doesn't suit me."

"Thank you for the boost you gave me when I bought you."

This verbal act of giving thanks, Kondo believes, will give you closure and help you move forward without the item. Well, that's a lovely sentiment, but I think you should take it further and hand-deliver a thank you note. Really, it's the least you can do before casting an item into the Goodwill chasm. To truly detach yourself from the item, it's best to be candid or, if needed, brutally honest.

Here are a few I've written:

Dear sweater, Thank you for showing me that I take on a sallow, cadaverous hue when I wear yellow.

Dear book that I bought to impress the cute guy with the beet tattoo at the used book store, Thank you for reminding me that I actually just really, really love TV.

(Image credit: Carrie McBride)

Dear second generation iPad, Thank you for dying on me during the final chapter of "Me Before You" and making me wait until the movie to find out how it ends.

Dear broccoli rabe, Thank you for helping give my mother the impression I'm eating well during her recent visit. Don't be offended that I didn't eat even a bite of you; your prominent display in the fridge was all I needed.

So, are you ready to say auf wiedersehen? dosvidanya? toodle-oo? Say it with a KondoKard.

(Image credit: Carrie McBride)
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