In IKEA recently to pick up a new GUSLE lamp, we noticed a bunch of bright yellow business cards. Turns out they were for Konkord Assembly, Inc.
A full-service assembly company, Konkord's "furniture technicians" fiddle around with all those nuts and bolts and mysterious pieces of ready-to-assemble furniture so you don't have to. Prices may not be that cheap -- there's a minimum charge of $50, and rates range from $15-$25 for chairs to $65-$200 (and up) for wardrobes -- but the cost of saving you from a migraine could be worth it.
They'll help with non-IKEA furniture, too.

Comments (5)
A few years ago, after putting together a 17,000-piece media cabinet, I vowed that life was too short and that I would never do it again. We've used Konkord a couple of times since then and have been very happy with the service.
These guys put together IKEA furniture all day long, every day, and can whip out in an hour what it would take us days of fumbling and frustration to figure out. The last time we used them, for instance, it was totally worth the $80 to have two large Expedit bookshelves and an IKEA dresser assembled, plus a media center from Crate & Barrel. They were done in a flash and I have no doubt that it spared us from weeks of tripping over random furniture parts -- and from lots of gray hairs.
My only advice would be to get the most for your money by having Konkord assemble several pieces at once.
We've used Konkord for our office, everything we have in here was put together by them. They do a great job, and the price really isn't that bad. After my last fiasco at home I am ready to call them the next time I buy anything that needs to be put together!!!
I third that- they are definitely worth it.
Anyone who can't assemble a piece of IKEA furniture needs to ask themselves if they are even bright enough to cross the street unassisted.
More proof that Americans are fast becoming a nation of morons too willing to buy, buy, buy than actually figure something out for themselves.
Upon booking the appointment I was told everything would be assembled before 12:00 on the day of the appointment. I was also told that I would be called between 09:00 and 09:30 to be informed exactly what time the assemblers will arrive.
By 09:30 I have still not received a call, so I called the office and left a message. I called the office several more times, someone finally answered at 10:45. She said she would follow up and get back to me. At 11:07 I called again - she still didn't know what was going on.
So I spent my whole day waiting on a company that never even bothered pitching.