apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

Are you several people? Suffering from multiple personality disorder? Honestly, I don't understand any editorial policy which calls on writers to use "we" instead of "I." THis would just sound so much better in first person.

Guests cause me to realize that no matter how much comfortable seating I put in different areas of the house, there will always be "too many" people in the kitchen.

I have learned by *being* a guest that I really appreciate a place to hang my wet towel in the bathroom, and a horizontal plane in the room I am staying in to open my bag up - the floor doesn't count. I always try to offer the same to any guests I may have. Also: a small clock, a reading light accessible from their bed, and a small fan in the summer (because I would love that if it were offered to me!)

Fatoosh... it's a blog. It's not a book on grammar or correct use of the language... they try, hell, we all try... to sound decent... we, I, they, us... if it's REALLY that distracting, copy it to a notepad on your computer, re-write it changing the "we"s for "I"s and problem solved... if you're not willing to go thru all that, then maybe it's not that big a deal, let it go, sip some tea and enjoy life dammit! Instead of checking every stupid mistake here, read some Shakespeare or something genius, not a blog about pillows and coffee tables.

Anyhow...

What I've learned about my apartment when people come over is... it's NOT childproof (specially baby proof), it's really made to accommodate the pets. Music's fine, but I like it way too loud to carry out a conversation... and there's really not much to distract people from having a conversation... so it's pretty "boring" on its own right... which to me is great. lol When I come home I want to relax not marvel at every square inch of artwork, photos of my family or go OOH, AHH about the new gadgets, piles of cables, dvd or cd collections, etc. So I'm cool with all that. lol

I learned that I need a larger kitchen, because yes, guests tend to gather in the kitchen. However that would require knocking out a wall in a 102 year old house, and that just seems like a lot of work for a temporary place. Also, my house was NOT built for tall people!

From Wikipedia:

"...editorial columnists in newspapers and similar commentators in other media refer to themselves as we when giving their opinions. Here, the writer has once more cast himself or herself in the role of spokesman: either for the media institution who employs him, or more generally on behalf of the party or body of citizens who agree with the commentary."

We, for one, enjoy the editorial we.

And I have learned that not everyone appreciates a night light; that you shouldn't leave the pet toothpaste on the bathroom counter; that I need to set up a "luggage space" otherwise it wanders around the apartment with no permanent home; and that the trundle bed is not as comfortable as I make it out to be.

Djluckyonline, it's a pretentious editorial style, and presumably not chosen by the individual posters. It's kind of ridiculous. Nobody is trying to sound decent, they are paid bloggers who are doing what the boss said, the boss who has a wife who is usually included in his we statements. It's the kind of rule people make, like torturing a sentence just so it doesn't end in a preposition.

Anyway, we had a man over and we realized we don't have a right-hand end table for our right-handed beer-holding man-friend. That's kind of weird not to know another end table would be good there. You must have sat miles apart.

Having people over has taught me nothing. I'm perfect. Just kidding.

I learned that we desperately needed to rearrange our large enough living room from a tv lounge area and work area to a dining/work/tv area. Every time we had people over to eat some pizza and watch a movie it was a mess around the coffee table, and our food was closer to our dog, which wasn't good either. We got a dining table and chairs, weeded out some pieces of furniture we no longer needed, like the second sofa, and purchased some bookshelves with glass doors that houses my pyrex collection, art supplies and books. Looks sooo much better, and now we can have people over to eat! Finally!

So, hmr: it's for opinions, but it doesn't translate well into personal experiences, as most used on this blog.

I learned that I don't like guests that aren't my parents to be here. My best friend makes herself too much at home. She's always in my way in my tee tiny kitchen and she always takes over my computer. Design-wise...I've learned that I truly am a girl. I have way too much pink in my house for even my Dad to be comfortable. And my cat rules the roost. Her toys are everywhere. And believe me, she's got more toys than any toddler ever known! (there she goes chewing on my shoe to get her rubber band out!)

It's just kinda odd for a "we" to be describing THEMSELVES as a "vertically challenged, left handed, female self" [singular]. My hunch is that here's some debate about the "I" vs "we" usage, but I'd wager good money that single/plural agreement is sacrosanct.

Also, and more relevant to a blog that involves some DIY stuff: it would be SO much more inspiring to me, as a single entity, to know that the bloggers were doing these projects/making these finds/having these revelations on their own, without benefit of a second pair of hands/feet/eyes.

Maybe THEY could use the neutral and oh-so-pretentious "one" instead?

On topic: my dog taught me to pick up and/or hide anything I don't want stolen and "reconstituted".

KTG - I disagree. Most of what is written here is an opinion, albeit one that was garnered through personal experience. Here, the opinion is that having guests can teach you something about your own home.

Most of the time there is an element of the personal used here, but the final result is an opinion on a good, service or an idea.

Either way. Use the we - don't use the we. All I wanted to do is explain where it came from and why using it here was not completely out of line.

the "we" didn't bother me. i pictured a lovely lesbian couple! :)

having guests has taught me that i definitely need more tables-- side tables, a coffee table. not ideal for entertaining, especially with cocktails involved.

also, guests are always perplexed when they realize there isn't a TV in the living area and kind of give me an "oh hmm" as in "how do you live?" so i try to keep other things available for easy entertainment-- magazines, books-- and i tell them they're welcome to jump on the computer at any time.

I learned that I need a wider couch so my boyfriend and I can lay on it together. I learned that my dining room pendant light hangs too low for anyone over 6' tall. I poo-pooed the necessity of a dimmer on my bathroom light until I got one (nice not to be blinded in the a.m.)

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2008/12/08/081208sh_shouts_allen

I learned that people don't like to be in our living room. They'd rather hang out around our dining room table, which I think is sort of weird. The ceilings in our living room are quite high and I guess it doesn't feel cozy to them. I, on the other hand, love the living room. More couch for me. :-)

Fatoosh and others:

I suggest that we commenters start using "WE" in our posted comments. Maybe we can drive the AT editors/posters as insane as they're driving us.

Worth a try?

I've learned that guests who critique my decor don't get invited back. ;)

I had my parents over for Thanksgiving and then a pair of friends the weekend after. With my parents, everything still seemed pretty functional, but the male of my two friends made me feel like my Danish gateleg table was flimsy since he would lean on it to eat and it would wobble. Same for my living room chairs, which are comfortable for someone of my small size, but a tight fit for bigger people. It wasn't a big deal since guests generally sit on the couch, but I know I have the house and its decor arranged to suit me.

Having guests has taught me that some people are genuinely freaked out by the presence of potty-trained cats, that I need a bigger couch, and that my low ceilings freak out very tall people.

We have learned that our guests think we're perfect. Great sound system, projector TV, big wine glasses, and convenient tables next to soft, yet supportive sofas.

>>that you shouldn't leave the pet toothpaste on the bathroom counter

Oh, I want to hear THAT story!!!

My guests have never complained about anything which I find quite weird. I seem to have everything they need. Two tables on each side for drinks, carpet for warm feet, a throw on each couch, clean towels for whoever wants to sleep over (and an AeroBed) and enough wine to believe we are pirates! No wonder everyone always wants to come to my apartment for get togethers...

i've learned that all the deco is in my living room and dinning room not in my bedroom...
and that i have an excellent wi-fi service.

one of my friends has, on more that one occasion, shared with me (or should i say "us", even though it's only me?) how she (should i say "they") would redesign the spare (much smaller, only one window with no view) middle room and put a tv in there. when i (or "we") comment the new tv is in the livingroom, she (or "they") always says, "yeah, you (or "you guys") would move it to the other room". i'm (or "we're") guessing this means she (or "they") doesn't like it in the living room, or would rather sit in the smaller spare room instead of the spacious living room with three windows and a view of the city. but...that's where it's staying...because despite what guests think, *I* (or "WE") am the one (oh goodness..."one's") that has to live there!

otherwise, guest remind me (or "us") of how heavy footed (& handed) other people can be compared to myself (or "ourselves") and how much i (or "we) value the rule "put it back where you (or "they") found it.

of course i have a couple of pets, so perhaps they could be part of the me that is "we". maybe.

sincerely,
sybil

Having people over has taught me that I prefer a MUCH colder house than maybe 90% of the adult population can bear. I keep the 'stat at 60F in winter and when I am up moving around doing things I am still too hot.

I have learned that part of the cost of having the pleasure of guests is to turn the heat up to 68F. I will NOT go above 68F unless someone is older than 68Y or is actively ill. And I guess I would put it up for babies, but so far none have visited me.

-according to my best friend my house is "boring" but that is because she doesn't have a laptop and we can only play warcraft one at a time.

- A Klippan couch is not enough for even two people to lounge comfortably

- I'm a penguin because I keep everything just shy of frozen

I'm always surprised to find that not having a TV means there is nothing to do at our place but talk and eat (ok, not the MOST terrible thing ever). This works really well if you are having a group over, but not so well if it is just one friend staying with you for a while. Even my best friends and I do not have a weekend's worth of non-stop conversation in us...we talk to frequently already... so we just eat too much and play with the cats a lot. =) I guess the boy and I read and do chores most of the time? Board games/cards are an epic fail because I *hate* them, but charades will work if everyone's drunk enough! =P

Also: our cats are apparently very easy to sit on because they blend in with the white couch, large groups of guys make our place feel half the size it normally does (we're not super small people, but we aren't that big either!), and no one else knows how to use coasters as far as I can tell...

i've learned:

1. my 20" tube tv is too small for friends to come over to watch movies on

2. i need to sweep the hardwood floors EVERY day because my dog sheds so much - just click on my profile ;)

3. i have too many house projects to finish

We've learned (the hard way) to keep salt in a container marked "SALT" and put sugar out next to the coffee maker!

We normally don't use sugar (and have a mouse/ant problem), so keep it in the fridge. Twice guests have poured kosher salt into their coffee--one gamely drank a whole mug and said later he just thought it was really really terrible coffee.

We prefer not to be friends with people who provide non-stop critiques of our home. We suggest you tell your man-friend to stop being such a whiny entitled pain in the ass, or else find yourself a new man-friend. If YOUR house makes YOU happy, that's what matters.

I have garnered proof that men are visual creatures. Case in point - while my 19 inch tv is just super for me to watch a movie on - men can't stand it!

in the past - on two occasions - two different guys - I left the living room to get popcorn or something - and found the man in question on the couch with the TV, on it's cart (at the time) pulled across the living room to meet his feet on the coffee table!

As a guest - I have one friend who has some crazy affinity for plug in oil airfresheners (must be the dogs) - but I can't stand the smell of saturated coconut or heavy vanilla - I unplug in the guest room. (I have an aversion to fragrances - they actually give me a headache) If I remember in time, I unplug long before I expect to go to bed so that the sickly odor can dissapate.
But I've never said a word to her about it.


As for WE vs I, ME --- a truely creative writer could share the anecdote without resorting to WE or I. We is for editorializing. These are NOT editorials.
Read SaraRae's entries for an example of avoiding the trap. (usually, she's very good)
We, in this format, is a crutch.

Oh... and... as a guest - who has pet allergies - it should be noted that VACUMMING is the WORST thing you should do in preparation for a guest with allergies.

That just stirs up all the dander - bringing it to the surface where it will make your guest miserable.

My friend Nikki was thrilled to have me stay and enthusiastically told me she would vacumm just before I arrived, out of consideration for my allergies. I couldn't bear to tell her PLEASE DON'T! I should have though, because the next morning I woke up with an Asthma attack - even though I haven't had one in years.

how do you ask your friend not to vacumm in preparation for your visit?

I have learned that I need at least 3 small side tables instead of a long cofee table. And that the TV is much too small for guys. And that not having a rug next to my couch is perfect. And that I need bigger cookware.

We enjoy having guests over, but on most days we prefer our own company. We like to sit with the cats on our lap and a cup of tea in our hand, reading a book. Because we live in a small space, it can get a bit crowded with too much company.

We often find ourself cramped in other people's homes, too, though they may be much bigger than ours. When we went home to our parents' place for Thanksgiving, we found our nephew had taken over our bedroom.

It wasn't as bad, though, as some of the first times we took our husband home. On one visit, we found a pair of twin beds in our room. Although it was probably just because our brothers took all the fulls, we couldn't help thinking it was our parents' editorial on our sex life. Please! We were married. Did they expect us to remain a single woman forever?

Every time I visit my brother, I buy him a new bathmat. Inevitably, the one I bought the last time has taken on some new duty - maybe it's absorbing the leak under the sink, maybe he stuffed it under a wobbly table. At any rate, they disappear. Personally, I can't imagine getting out of the shower without a bathmat to step onto, so I buy one. Turns out, my sister bought one the last time she was there, too. I also bleach his tub and toilet. Compared to his place, my somewhat cluttered, inconvenient home is a haven of cleanliness and beauty, a marvel of elegance and luxury. I tend to keep that in mind when guest visit and not worry much.

I've learned that I need a coffee maker, my apartment is apparently too loud for others to sleep soundly, I don't keep enough snack food in the house, the terrible cell phone reception in my building is really annoying if you aren't used to it, and it is really hard to communicate between the kitchen in the back of the apartment and the living and dining rooms in the very front. On a positive note, I've learned that I'm pretty good at using lighting, music, and comforting accessories like a cozy throw to make my apartment feel warm and inviting. A spare space heater, a few bottles of wine, and extra pillows on the guest bed are all must-haves.

I should have more than herbal tea and rice milk to drink. And buy curtains for the living room, because of all of my guests wake up earlier than me!

use of 'we' at top=annoying

people complaining about use of 'we' at top=much more annoying

We have learned that some guests better stay in a hotel.

When I had guests in college, I realized that my old 20" tv that would flicker between color and b/w annoyed everyone except me (it was free, I was poor).

When I started dating my husband, I realized my couch was too small for him to stretch out. I also realized that while I like low hanging pendants over the dining table, he repeatedly hits his head on them. Plus, he hates all of my chairs with slightly splayed legs because, even after 2 years, he still stubs his toe on them.

More recently, I realized that our table was a bit too small to comfortably accommodate more than a couple of people and that we didn't have enough chairs for more than 4 people.

Best, though, I realize that while I'm really critical of how our house looks, my friends and family have a much more forgiving eye.