apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

Sharing a bathroom is horrible! I vow to never do it again.

Thanks for sparing your readers the irritation of the editorial "we".

Wow. I am so fortunate to have a tidy partner in my life. We never have bathroom tidiness issues -- we're both neat freaks.

When I had housemates, however, it was awful. I lived with a pig.

thankfully my SO and I have very different work schedules so the bathroom's usually free when I need it.

The cleanliness though is still an issue. I like my bathroom clean - he could have it looking like a dumpster and not even notice. That arrangement is still being worked out.

I don't think seperate bathrooms is really necessary though unless you're both (or all) on a tight schedule and need to be somewhere at around the same time. As long as you're aware of others' schedules when using the bathroom, it should work out. Makeup and hair can always be done away from the bathroom, and I've been known to wash my hair in the kitchen sink during desperate moments. It didn't kill me.
Once kids come into the picture though, a second bathroom would be a blessing.

I love this! As a NYC dweller, I've had 5 different roommates since I moved here and dealt with all of these issues at one point or another--it is NOT being picky. Certain bathroom etiquette is a given when sharing space with anyone, but esp. not having to pick your roommate's hair out of the drain, changing the TP if there's only 1 piece of paper left and, my biggest--flush the toilet. Seriously. The sharing issue of cleaning the bathroom is also a biggie--I end up doing it most of the time b/c otherwise it won't get done.

I long for the day when I can have my own place.

I'm a huge fan of hiring a cleaner. I first did it when I had two roommates and traveled a lot for work. I HATED coming home to a scummy bathroom and would inevitably lash out at my roommates while under the influence of jetlag and overwork. Fortunately, I was saving enough money by having roommates to pay for a cleaning lady to come in every other week. Definitely lowered the household down from BitchCon 1.

When I first cohabitated with my now-husband, one of my conditions was that we hire a cleaner. So while we don't have the luxury of separate bathrooms, we don't have to clean each others hair out of various drains, which does a lot for marital harmony.

*swoon* what is that fabulous color on the wall?

My SO and I have already come up with compromises for each other's bathrooms and we don't even live together! For example, he doesn't shave at my place and I get to keep my toothbrush safely in the medicine cabinet at his. I'm also careful to clean up my hair from his sink and don't complain about his and he can't complain about mine at my house. Works perfectly now but I wonder how it will translate when we live together soon...

Oh! this thread reminds me of a friend who rented out two rooms in her house to college students so that she could make the 2nd mortgage payments without starving [great way to help pay for your first house]. She eventually got the 2nd paid off and has her house back.

Anyway.

She posted the bathroom rules on the wall in the bathroom, and the kitchen rules on the wall in the kitchen. The rules went something like this:

"This is not your bathroom. This is a shared bathroom provided for your convenience. Therefore:

1. Do not store soap, personal toilettries, towels, etc. here. Items left in the bathroom will be thrown away.
2. Wipe counter surfaces when you're finished. Cleaning supplies are provided for you if needed.
3. Remove hair from the drain when you're finished.
4. Close the shower curtain before you leave so that it dries.
5. etc
6. etc
7. etc

I intially felt that this was overly rigid. In the end, everyone appreciated the rules and were happy to abide by them.

"• Replace the roll"

Before we got married, my husband (then bf) had a roomate who would NEVER change the roll. I eventually started writing notes to him on the empty rolls: "Jay, it wouldn't kill you to change the roll?!" Instead of changing the roll, he would leave smart-ass comments for me the next time I came over. We did this for about a year.

We laugh about it now, but that's because I no longer share a bathroom with him...

I grew up sharing a bathroom with two brothers, so there's very little that can be done to an average bathroom that will bother me. Pee on the seat, seat up, dirty sink, tooth paste splatter, hair in the drain, soap scum, abandoned floss, dirty tissues... I just don't care. Bathrooms are fortunately made out of easy-to-clean surfaces, and comet or dish soap erase all sins.

The only thing that makes me grumpy is using up the toilet paper and not putting out more, or not saying we're out so I know to get more.

Take showers at night. If it fits into your schedule/ grooming practices, it is the easiest way to avoid bathroom conflicts. I can take as long as I like and not worry about using up the hot water, although most of the time I try to hurry a bit to conserve energy. I just dampen my hair in the morning with a squirt bottle and style.

I would love my own bathroom. My husband is pretty neat, but he somehow manages to leave scummy bits and water puddles on the counter every time he gets ready. If I get ready after him, no problem because I just dry it up with a towel but if he gets ready 2nd, it makes me growl when I discover it later. Luckily he now does clean up the little bits of facial hair. As a teenager, I shared a bathroom with my very hairy younger brother and the little bits of facial hair everywhere had me yelling at him constantly. Even though we had separate sinks! I also shared a bathroom with a roommate that had very long, curly hair she would never clean out of the drain. I came home more than once to a stopped up drain and had to clean out her hair. Yuck!

I have never had the luxury of my own bathroom and don't think I ever will. A two bathroom apartment for two people just sounds like serious overkill to me.

My five person family all shared one bathroom growing up, in college I shared a bathroom one year with SEVEN other girls, so I consider it luxury enough that I share my apartment's tiny bathroom with only my boyfriend. (Seriously...our shower is so small it's made for a boat).

If you're sharing with roommates:
-If you don't want to share your products with roommates, keep them in your room. (I did this with toilet paper for a while since my roommates NEVER bought it).
-Always, always clean your hair out of the shower.
-Shower at night if you can, avoid the morning bathroom rush.
-Get a mirror for your bedroom and do your hair and makeup in your bedroom, if you can.

Yes, I'd sooner share a bed than a bathroom.

I've never had a problem sharing a bathroom, but then, I come from a pretty huge family. I can remember spending summers at the cottage and having ten people sharing one tiny bathroom for weeks.

My tips: Pick up after yourself. If everyone does it, it's so much easier to share. Mop up shower puddles, rinse your toothpaste (and beard hair!) out of the sink, your skidmarks out of the toilet, your hair clogging the drain, and whatever else you can think of.

If you have one messy person in a household of people pitching in - call them out on it. And don't be afraid to embarrass them! "Dude, could you PLEASE rinse your freakin' pubes out of the tub next time? Jeez."

My father's fourth wife abided by that rule and used the second full bathroom rather than share their en suite master bath. Then I moved in, and she thought it was a better arrangement to share a bathroom with a 13-year-old girl. Yeah, that didn't work out so well.

Bathrooms are my second reason why I'll do everything possible not to live with roommates again. Raiding the refrigerator is the first one. I'd love to see an AT post with suggestions on how to negotiate with a roommate who refuses to buy/cook his or her own food.

Erika, how about a small fridge in your room?

Though I'd love another half bath, sometimes I don't get the whole two full baths...it's not like you're really going to be able to use both at the same time and both of you get hot water.

ChrisGal, it's nice to have a tub in one bathroom and shower in the other.

I guess I just don't get it - I grew up living with my mother, stepfather, and two siblings and we only had one and a half bathrooms. You just learn to deal. Though Mom probably kept us sane by cleaning the bathrooms herself.

Yes, you learn to deal with no bathroom at all, as well, but I don't consider doing without a virtue.

I just find it wasteful architecturally...I see homes for sale around me with 2.5 bathrooms and it just makes me wonder what in the world someone needs all those bathrooms for.

ChrisGal, maybe for personal hygiene in civilized privacy? The two of us have lived in houses with 2.5 bathrooms for years and don't consider it wasteful at all. In our last house, there was a full bathroom on the main level between the library/guest room and the laundry room. Handy for house guests, when one of us was ill, as well as the occasional rinsing of large items in the tub. There was a toilet/sink by the entrance, also frequently used by ourselves as well as visitors. Upstairs, we had a full bathroom off our bedroom. We like to entertain and had lots of house guests, so this didn't seem excessive at all.

Yes, I did grow up in an apartment where four people shared a single bathroom, but that does not mean we enjoyed it.

I find it a waste of money...you get charged for that extra space. And I find your statement about personal hygiene rude - I share a bathroom with my fiance and I take a shower daily and always have my fair share of time. It's really sad that you waste that many bathrooms. While we are looking for a house, I have seen where maybe a bathroom with a tub/shower combo and maybe another with just a shower might be useful for company (though we rarely have overnight stays)....but anything more is pathetic unless you honestly have a dozen kids or something.

Having more than one bathroom is a luxury. I was very excited when we found our current apartment because it had a tub!

CHrisGal, it was not meant to be insulting and I apologize. The accent was on civilized privacy. I am sure people can be adequately clean even using communal showers in army barracks, but it's not everybody's style. We don't feel we wasted our hard earned money on having an extra bathroom or two, otherwise we would have used it in another way. And yes, more than one bathroom is a luxury and we have worked very hard to be able to afford it because we feel it is important.

I guess this should be focused on apartments (hint the name) where if you got more than a bath and a half, you're extremely lucky - unless of course you have lots of income.

I just find the space for several (pointless) bathrooms that aren't really necessary just as I put it - pointless. If I found a house with more than two bathrooms, you can bet I'd convert one into another closet or an office area. But again, I am living comfortably in 850 sq feet where on another post someone said they just downgraded to what they considered a mere 2000 sq ft.

2000 sqf - 1200 sqf work space (including a half bathroom) = 800 sqf living space, including 1 1/2 bathrooms, for 2 people, a dog and very frequent houseguests. Not excessive at all.

You are hilarious. I've lived with three other adults in probably half of what you have...and we had no problems with personal hygiene. Now sometimes it was tricky when someone really needed to use the bathroom and someone else was in the shower...but you learn to deal and it makes you stronger for it.

There should be an ignore button on this site - LOL - since I know I'd put bromelia on it until she actually lived in a space less than 1000 sq feet for a year.

ChrisGal, I had lived in spaces under 1000 sqf probably longer than you are alive. Actually, I enjoyed immensely a 320 sqf apartment in Luxembourg.

Waiting to use a bathroom does not make you stronger, it just makes your bladder weaker.

Well unless the person before you doesn't have enough respect to make that "no longer than a 20 min shower", you shouldn't have any bladder problems.

I wish I could see REAL problems on this site, not people being childish and complaining when they have enough space to fit in six or more people.

ChrisGal, not everybody is Peace Corps material.

Wow, that's the best you could come up with. I've had to wait longer to use the restroom when in high school. You are just trying to rationalize how 2000 sq feet is a small space - it isn't. I've seen houses smaller.

My husband and I are just now edging into middle-class now that I am out of school, but we made it a priority to have 2 bathrooms in our last apartment and considered it essential when we looked for the place we're in now. We have about 1000 square feet, shared with 2 dogs and 2 cats. The 2nd bathroom is important enough for us that we were willing to take a less desirable location to be able to afford it.

I appreciate not having to clean or otherwise encounter his mess, or even just his stuff, and we both appreciate the privacy. Also, when we have guests (regularly, and for minimum 3 days up to 2 weeks), it's great to offer them the guest room/office with its own bathroom (I'll share with him during their stay).

I certainly could share a bathroom if it were somehow necessary, but I won't if I can help it, and he could never go back. He's made a little nest in there or something, I don't ask. And he actually has the larger bathroom, off the master.

Point being, I definitely understand wanting 2 bathrooms, and I certainly don't understand how the basic concept of it could be offensive to anyone's sensibilities. I'm sure as many, if not more, people would have trouble spending $700 or more a month to share a bathroom with 4 other people. I can understand it, and did it, and all I'm trying to say is people who are lucky enough to make these kind of choices about their living circumstances don't really need to attack/be attacked for doing the same.

Renata -- just with housing situations down and so many homeless people, it's sad to think someone could honestly defend having multiple bathrooms when I can't honestly find anyone that would come under any harm from having to share with one or two other people. I honestly think the entire country would be in better shape if people weren't so greedy and thought they needed 3000 sq feet for just two people.

I'm very lucky to have 2 bdrms 2 baths. It might turn out to be a lifesaver since $$ is tight and having a roommate sounds better all the time. However, I do feel that having separate bathrooms is a big help to a relationship with a SO. Although one can certainly share, not having to share such intimate situations and personal rituals with another person does reduce the amount of conflict that must be managed. On another note, Freud apparently grew up in a large family sharing only one bathroom, a fact to which many attribute the emphasis his theories place on excretory functions.