apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

After 18 months with my ex who snores, we broke up...
...and I finally got some sleep.

For my next relationship, I'll insist on separate bedrooms.

My BF snores lightly, and it's actually a very comforting sound to me! It puts me right to sleep.

bepsf, did you break up because of the snoring?

I sleep with earplugs every night. Along with my mouthguard to protect my teeth from grinding, and an eyemask to block out the excessive light, I don't know what sleep is without all these awful accessories. The things I do for love.

my dog snores it cute

this is really, really drastic, but i'm telling you, it works.

my boyfriend has HORRIBLE sinuses. he gets maybe 5-7 sinus infections a year (i'm surprised he still has a sense of smell), and used to snore very loudly, all the time. it was awful. luckily, i wasn't living with him at that point. a few years ago, he had surgery to widen his sinus cavities (i won't go into the details, but it's not quite as bad as it sounds), and it inadvertently cured his snoring! he'll still make a little noise once in a while, but i'll just roll him over on his side, and he sleeps right through it. he can breathe now, which is always a good thing.

My husband snores similar to a leaf blower. I have tried the tennis ball, Breathe Right and shoving a pillow behind him so he can't roll over..to no avail. He had a sleep study last weekend and I'm hoping an M.D. can help. If not, is his snoring a valid defense for MURDER?

My father in law had that surgery, it didn't work.

My neighbor snores...You can hear it through the walls...is an anonymous note going to far?

As far as an anonymous note goes, what exactly do you think the person is going to do with that information?

...unless you intend to pay for the sleep study and resulting therapy (if any), it's not going to change your life one whit, aside from potentially garnering a new enemy.

Getting a note about something they can't change isn't going to well-received, and anyone who snores loud enough for you to hear probably can't fix their problem or they'd have done so already for their own reasons.

my boyfriend snores. and he hogs the bed. additionally, he tends to sleep with both his hands behind his head, elbows sticking out like weapons that often stab me in the face should i roll in his general direction. he also steals each of my pillows, somehow, in the middle of the night and ends up with all four by the time i wake up. i know how to pick 'em!

1. Chronic snorers should see a doctor. If your partner doesn't believe they snore, tape them with a mini-tape recorder. Also good for hours of laughs!
2. Earplugs.
3. If it's your neighbor, and your friendly, express concern for their health. If you're not that friendly, soundproofing.

My BF and I have separate bedrooms - all our friends think we're weird but it works great. He snores, I don't -- he's a slob, I'm OCD -- his room smells, mine smells pretty...and we both get sleep, I highly recommend it to any couple that has the extra space!

How to dramatically lessen snoring, if not stop it:

1. The person who snores MUST learn to do nasal lavage---cleaning out the nasal passages with saline water. Look up jala-neti on the internet and DO IT. You can buy a neti-pot or you can take a baby bottle and put holes in it.

2. The person who snores MUST NOT eat in the evening. It is the food in the stomach that pushes up against the diaphragm and causes the snoring. Eat nothing more than fruit after 5 P.M. and very little of that. Drink liquids sparingly. Just TRY it for a week and see what a difference it makes.

If you can hear your neighbor snoring, a simple $20 white noise machine will do wonders.

My sweetie snores, a lot. Especially if he has been drinking or snacking late at night. I use earplugs and keep a fan going. The white noise helps block out the sudden stop-start of his snoring. During allergy season, he does the salt water rinse and wears the Breathe Rite strips.

When we first started living together, it was pretty miserable until we sorted it out.

I will try the white noise, thanks!

My huz snores only occasionally. I generally find it stops if I shove him hard enough to make him change position.

The cheapest white noise I know of is just turning on the radio or tv to static. You can actually make it pretty loud and after a little bit it soothes you to sleep. Great for use in hotels too.

My boyfriend rocks in his sleep. Back and forth, at the hips. The first time we slept together, I thought he was dry-humping me.

I've gotten used to it, but from time to time it makes me extremely angry. And seasick.

Although my boyfriend too snores, I have gotten used to it. I just roll him on his side or put my hand on his arm and it seems to quiet things down enough for me to fall back asleep. I understand that it can be bad for light sleepers and occasionally I even end up on the couch, but overall it's a minimal issue.

My ex couldn't fall asleep unless the television was on and at a (very) noticeable level. Having to fall asleep to infomercials was worse than any snoring.

My husband snores horribly, but he has awful sinuses anyway...always sneezing and sniffling. I sleep with a pillow over my head and elbow him when he gets too loud. Oh, and urge him to see a doctor about once a month. It's all I can do.

Also, check for sleep apnea. My current boyfriend was a horrible snorer - turns out it was sleep apnea, and he stopped breathing many times a night. The CPAP has really made a difference. Sounds kind of like a white noise machine and we both sleep better.

I agree with jessimuhka regarding getting checked for sleep apnea. Especially if you or your SO's snoring is of the "snore, stop breathing, gasp, and then snore again" kind. Sleep apnea can have a lot of health repercussions... weight, blood pressure, even reducing life expectancy. Most insurance companies will pay for a sleep study if your doctor orders it. Oh, and yes, the snoring will actually stop entirely if it's due to sleep apnea and it is treated.

My ex and I broke up because of his sleep apnea -- he thought I was a light sleeper, I was afraid he was going to DIE each and every time he stopped breathing. I tried earplugs, I have a white noise machine, I got leafblowing earmuffs and tried to learn sleep on my back. I eventually ended up on the couch every night. It sucked.

He doesn't have insurance, thinks sleep studies are a racket and refused to do anything about it -- even when I offered to pay for his testing and treatment. Sleep apnea affects EVERYTHING in your relationship -- trust me. If your loved one has sleep apnea PLEASE help them to get help. It's an awful thing to live with.

Ditto on the sleep apnea - it can cause health problems in the person affected, and also for their partner who is chronically deprived of sleep.

I use high decible ear plugs and a down pillow wrapped around my neck -- keeps my head from flopping left or right (no pillow wrinkles or neck ache!). Ear plugs are my miracle cure for the white noise on airplanes, in waiting rooms, and on trains. Just love 'em!

Two people in my family have been treated for sleep apnea. Both were terribly grumpy before being diagnosed, and they both were much happier and kinder after starting treatment. One of them was the worst storing machine I'd ever heard.

My husband tells me I occasionally hum in my sleep. He says he doesn't mind.

He only snores when he is sleeping on his back. When he wakes me up I poke him until he wakes up then he rolls over and everyone lives happily ever after.

If the gadgets aren't doing the trick, why not prepare a separate sleeping area in the apartment for the person who has to suffer through the snoring. The couple can go to sleep together, but if the snoring becomes a problem that is preventing sleep, the partner who can't sleep has a place to go to finish the night and can wake refreshed. That is a solution I have used in the past. It may not be ideal, but it is certainly less severe than throwing away an otherwise perfectly good relationship.

Oh, and I am not suggesting the couch. I am talking about a dedicated bed that serves as "escape pod."

Snoring is a common symptom of obstructive sleep apnea. OSA as it is known is a huge risk factor and predictor of heart disease and stroke. I work in this field and see so many peoples lives changed for the better after seeking treatment and would highly suggest a sleep study. A common treatment is continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) therapy. Sleep therapy can not only ensure your sleep partner receives adequate oxygenation and avoids future heart disease but will likely also let you get a good night's sleep. I would suggest talking with your PCP or see an ENT doctor to seek treatment and a referral to a sleep lab.

I have a small bowl full of earplugs on my nightstand.

Ana, I'm curious - how would you expect to remain anonymous? Just how many apartments share bedroom walls with your neighbor? Wouldn't the author of the note be pretty obvious?

My husband USED to snore....
he merely got in shape... started exercising three to four times a week, rock climbing and some bicycling.

i loved him before but i love him more now!!!
and he looks hotter!

Can anybody suggest an earplug for someone with small ear-holes? Seriously, I have tiny ears. All of the ear plugs at the pharmacy are too big and uncomfortable. Don't even talk to me about earbuds....

Also, Fontessa, seriously? The *snorer* has to NOT EAT after 5 pm? That is really freakin' unreasonable.

There is no rule that says a co-habitating couple MUST share a bed or bedroom. If you love a snorer, and can afford to, sleep in separate rooms. The sky will not fall in.

My husband slowly but surely began to snore regularly and when it would be so loud and so immediate (after 2 minutes he would be snoring!) I would sleep in the other room. While it helped my sleep, it did nothing for our intimacy and I could slowly feel us growing apart. I begged him to go and get tested for sleep apnea after counting lags in breathing in-between snores that lasted about 25-28 seconds! He has been diagnosed with moderate sleep apnea and now has a breathing machine that has made a HUGE difference that I can actually sleep through the night and so can he! I encourage anyone who snores regularly and loudly to go through the study.

Large meals are huge culprits when it comes to snoring. If the snorer will try---for about a week to 10 days---to not eat after about 5 pm, then he/she can slowly start eating again and determine where the "food intake" cut-off point is.

Many sleep clinics advise the snorer to lose 10% of their body weight as a start. Not eating after 5pm is an easy way to diet.

Where's the option for when we both snore?

However, in my case my snoring has gotten much better since I started using my CPAP machine to address my sleep apnea. Still a little bit of snoring, but the machine makes way less noise than I used to.

Nevertheless, we still both sleep with earplugs.

Oh, and while we're talking about medical issues, you might also want them to check for a deviated septum -- typically the result of a nose that got broken, maybe in a fist fight. That can really hurt your ability to breathe at night.

Surgery to correct it isn't too unusual, but is downright nasty to watch -- they have to re-break the nose with a hammer and chisel, then set it properly. Oh, and the blood flow. Ew.

i notice that its most often the men in the relationships who are snoring... lol
me and my boyfriend sleep in seperate rooms. i got the king size bed... i called it 'reparations'.

my boyfriend snores very loudly as well. in the beginning of the relationship i was quite frightened by his loud snoring. over the time of our dating, i have adapted and now sleep solid as a rock.

my boyfriend also sleeps with his hands behind his head making his very pointy elbows dangerous. in the morning, he tells me tales of how i slap him in the face during the night. i guess we are even. :)

Why do people feel they MUST sleep every night with their partners, no matter how horrible the experience?

Separate bedrooms is the answer. Or at least one person can sleep on the futon in the livingroom :-)

Seriously, it works. My BF snores, I snore, I also hit him and have tried to shove him out of bed. He sweats. I like the room cold with a fan on.

Love ya, Babe, but we can't sleep together.

As for intimacy, it's actually BETTER because we are well-rested and in better moods. We have "sleepovers" in each others bed.

Once in a great while, we make it through the night in the same bed.....but if not, oh well.

Sleep deprivation can literally make you crazy. It's used as torture.

Get different beds.