apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

I would love to be a good terms with our neighbors. unfortunately, our neighborhood is heavily student-saturated and since everyone will be moving frequently, there's not a big sense of community. it doesn't help that everyone keeps odd hours, either, so I never run into people coming and going from work like in my last apartment.

AT has asked an interesting question.

I live on the lower east side of NYC, which is a neighborly neighborhood: small stores, lots of bars and restaurants, dog walkers, and small size apartment buildings (10 units in my building). I need this. I'm not a very social person, but I need human contact, and this setting is excellent. It amazes me that most people prefer isolated houses or units in giant buildings. Yes, the area is sometimes messy and forlorn; but the human spirit is there.

we're inbetween the last two - we've had dinner with them a couple times in our home or in the backyard, but don't hang out with them socially.

Vegas neighbors hardly ever know each other. I hear from all over that people wish they had that "community feeling" like wherever they moved here from... but I think we're so suspicious of addicts that we avoid giving them any foot in the door. Half the houses here are ten feet apart, you'd think we'd get to know each other plenty.

We took down the fence in the back between us and our neighbors so it would be easier to go between our townhouses. We share meals several times a week and talk with them just about every day. They are our very good friends and I can't imagine not living next to them now.

This is the first time in my life except growing up that I actually know most of my neighbors on first name and some times we stop to chat basis, especially the dog owners.

love one side(elderly couple)
HATE the other (screaming scum yuppy breeders with kids whose vocal cords need removal)

I wish I knew ours better. We moved into a new construction area in suburbia a little over 5 years ago. Everyone here was new to the neighborhood at the same time, which was an opportunity to build a great community spirit. Unfortunately, I believe everyone thought this was just their starter house and didn't want to invest the time when they would be moving on in a few years. Because of the mortgage crisis, we are all stuck here with more than our fair share of foreclosures.
In our next house (whenever that finally happens), my husband and I have decided to be extra friendly and start off on the right foot.

Depends on the neighbours.

When I was growing up, our immediate neighbours were all young families with kids our age, with the exception of our direct neighbours, who were grandparents with lots of advice. They became my godparents, and we're still very close with them, even though they live in Florida now.

Most of those neighbours have now moved away, leaving several who are very standoffish, don't even wave back when you wave at them. We still have one neighbour who has lived there for years, we housesit and pick up mail for her when she's away and she'll feed our cat when we're gone.

So it depends, I guess.

Mine are all 60 years and older and happen to be the friendliest, most down to earth people. While I have yet to dine with any of them, we do share harvests from our fruit trees, bring in each other's trash barrels and check in when one of us hasn't been seen out and about for a few days.

My neighbors on one side found the apartment for us, we share a garden and go shopping together. I feel very lucky to have them.

I bring cookies to the guys in the apartment below us, they are students (and so am I) we get in arguments over storage and laundry, but other than that we deal

My landlords live behind us... I try not to bug them too much

The rest of my neighborhood is older Italian folks, we try to shovel their walk and mow their lawns. They all keep their yards groomed and tell me when ours is getting messy

I wish we could afford a house in our neighborhood... unfortunately that doesn't look likely anytime soon

This is a complicated question for apartment dwellers! I'm good friends with a few people in our 64-unit building, smile and wave to about 10 more, don't even recognize the rest. Interestingly the friends aren't all the people in the closest units, just some of them.

"neighbors" in the first sentence doesn't need an apostrophe.

We hang out on the front porch with some of our neighbors, but we've never invited them over for dinner, or been invited to their place. I used to think that this was a big contrast to the neighborhood I grew up in, but it's actually about the same. Lots of hanging out on porches.

neighbor's?

It's funny you ask, because I am currently listening to my neighbor scream at her (I am assuming boyfriend) on the phone. Which is pretty much a daily event.

She scares me, I keep my distance.

In college, we were great friends with our neighbors and would often make community meals or do community tv watching. It was a lot more like communal living than socializing. We loved it.

We haven't really socialized with neighbors since, unless it counts when you have new friends who happen to live nearby. . . .

When I moved into my first house in 1996, I had great neighbors. About two years later, though, the wife died & the husband sold the house to a psycho couple from upstate NY. The wife didn't understand the concept of boundaries, and the husband was passive-aggressive. I was so relieved to move away from them to a rural area where my nearest neighbor is a quarter-mile away. I have a respectful relationship with most of the residents, but we all mind our own business.

curious... does anyone have the reverse problem? neighbors that are determined to be your best friends when all you want is a friendly acquaintance?

I own a condo where many of the other condo owners have moved and rent out their space to college & graduate students. They are moving in & out so often that it seems like we have no time to get to know each other. There was a family who lived below us & they were the only people who had contacted us - they threatened to call the police because we showered and did laundry at night.

I don't want to know my neighbors. Growing up neighbors always felt free to pop over when ever they like. When I moved into my own home I tried being friendly only to create the kind of neighbor I hate.

I now just speak get to know their faces and that's it. I am not a people person, yet if I see something wrong I will help in anyway I can.

We're also in between the last two categories. We've had dinner a couple of times with the neighbors, and always invite them to our big parties, but don't hang out with them regularly.

Our neighbor asked to borrow $20 the first time my boyfriend met him and then asked if he could use our dumpster when we were remodeling our house....classy!

In my building of 28 units, I now know everyone's name, but I mostly see/greet/chat with the folks on my back stairs because of the dog. It took me over a year to meet some of the folks on my front stairs. In general, most folks keep to themselves, and that's ok with me.

One of the best ways to get to know folks is to go to the monthly co-op board meetings (I assume condos would be the same).

I live in a 4-unit condo building, so I can't help but know my neighbors. We're on a "hi, how are you" basis, but it doesn't go further than that. I would prefer living in a larger building because I like being more anonymous. I don't want to have to do the "stop and chat" every time I run-into my neighbors.

I know all my neighbors and they know me. One has campsfires in my back yard and invites friends to our parties.

Really great parties!

foodefafa: YES! The problem is that the wife is great, but the husband is rude and unbearable. So that makes for bad dinner parties!