apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

Perfect post to read before tackling my arts/craft supplies ... but ... aren't those exempt from these guidelines? *sigh*

I understand all of that but here's the new dilemma I think people are going to start facing more and more often: what if I get rid of this, realize I do need it later on, and then have to re-buy it? Isn't that wasteful and bad for the planet? Wouldn't we be better off to have kept the thing in the first place? I'm going to be moving soon and this is the one that makes it hardest to get rid of appliances we rarely use, etc.

What a succinct and eloquent post. There's always an emotional thread behind an object that someone simply "can't" part with. The memory or sentiment can stay, the item can go.

THANKS! I'm getting ready to move and I really needed that little pep talk!!!

I definitely have this syndrome. Until the spring cure, I had been holding on to decorations from our old apartment that were never re-used in our condo for the last year and a half. I have always been the one to have whatever anyone was looking for. But after looking at entries from the small is cool contest and reading how each person enjoyed how freeing it was to have only what you really need, it was very motiviating to get rid of stuff that I was afraid to let go of.

If you need any more help or pep talks, FlyLady runs a show that you can get on iTunes. She is the master of teaching 'bless someone else with your things' and 'if it doesn't make you smile, it can't stay.'

One great trick I learned from a friend is to take a picture of that old t-shirt, crazy mug, or whatever the item is you can't let go. Keep the picture for memory's sake and get rid of the item!

It has worked well for me so far, and makes the parting process less painful...

To gollygee - People who are concerned with the environment, or with the recession, are wise to think twice before they start tossing things out. But personal hoarding has its own downside, the largest of which is that we feel like we need larger spaces than we do.

I think the solution lies in communal use. Freecycle and craigslist are obviously the best ways of sharing with strangers. It's also good to get into the habit of sharing with friends - pass on those baby clothes, those unused Mason jars, the curtains from your old apartment that don't fit in the new one. Consider the possibility of a "trade day" for unworn clothes, unused kids toys, yarn and craft supplies, or other items. And if you're really committed, consider helping to organize community "libraries" for tools. We don't all need two-story ladders, steam rug cleaners, and so on, and some communities have started the equivalent of lending libraries for these items.

I think it's important to talk about this in these forums, because too many people consider design all about buying things. I get frustrated with the emphasis on this site on buying new stuff, even while I appreciate the highlighting of secondhand items on craigslist and the focus on renewable materials, as well as the articles on the central issues of design - color, organization of space, and so on. There's no reason why high-style can't be low-impact, including by creative reuse of used material.

I got a little off-topic, huh? But my central point is simple - don't feel bad about getting rid of excess, as long as you pass along anything that could be used by another. If you need something you once gave away, try to borrow it or get it secondhand before you buy something new.

thanks, great post.

everyone i know finds flylady helpful.

recently, i discarded 10 years of decor clippings and half of my martha stewart magazines. i thought it would be the wrench of my life. magically, i didn't even give it a second thought all the following week, or to this day. more room for flowers now.

dre, great idea re photos. i realized i started 'clippings' on my computer, which work just as well. printed copy and images are higher resolution information, says edward tufte, but in this case, clutter was damaging my view, my life.

sustainability, 'consumerism' vs. modest living--good questionsnworth weighing carefully, and in a daily sort of way. visit with friends from abroad, or see the washington post express article on the 'yawn generation.' people living with less, enjoying more. can't find the link, tho.

My apartment building just had a yard sale which was just the incentive I needed to get rid of the "I might need it someday" items that had been collecting dust in storage. Making a little money and giving someone a great deal was a great way to take the edge off parting with things of the past.

I'm tossing out my 10 years worth of magazines today!

Maybe...

Totally agree, pyewacket. Something that helps me keep from gathering too much clutter is the thought that most of what I have is simply part of some weird giant shared closet, the nexuses (nexii?) of which are thrift stores. I buy (rent?) a shirt for an indefinite amount of time, wear it as much as I want, alter it if I want to, and when I get bored with it, instead of storing it, I send it back to the thrift store for the next person to enjoy.

I think a familiarity with thrift stores can be really helpful for decluttering. Not only do you get a sense of how things cycle through ownership, you'll sometimes see entire estates of trinkets appear, which is a decent reminder of exactly what use you'll have for it when you're dead. And you'll know that if you need it, it likely can be found somewhere. When you get rid of things, they don't cease to exist.

"some weird giant shared closet"--I love that. I also think about thrift shopping/yard sale-ing (yep, a verb in my family) with the excitement of a kid wondering what the waves have brought to shore today. Last week I broke my thrifted butter dish and this week my mom found another at a thrift store. Stuff comes back to us.

Right on pyewacket. It's all just flowing on. The trick for me is to feel that I got an adequate surrogate for the object. Sometimes thats fiscal, like payment from a CL transaction or a tax deduction for a donation. More often though, its karmic, which is just another form of selfishness, but don't doubt the invisible hand. People who give are happier than people who don't:

http://www.newscientist.com/channel/being-human/dn13498-give-away-your-money-and-be-happy.html

That 'but I might needs it' syndrome is insidious. I host a FlyLadies support network forum, and we are participating in a 365 Days of Decluttering challenge. Everyone who chooses to participate is only answerable to themselves, but many of us are sharing our successes and helping motivate each other along the way. Keeping a home tidy and uncluttered seems like it should be so easy, but we all have company in the challenge it really can be. If you're interested, please join us at http://forums.delphiforums.com/flyladies/start.

Thanks everyone, I'm learning a lot from you!

I watch Clean Sweep on TLC sometimes- those people are ruthless! They'll teach you a new way to look at your things. Telling people that they're trying to keep all their stuff at the expense of their relationships or family always leads to tears.

I'm bad at getting rid of clothes. I get emotionally attached. What works for me is to once a year go through my closets and drawers and put everything I don't or shouldn't wear into a box. After a year, I bring the box to charity without opening it. That's the trick. If I open it, I'll remember what's in there and how much I loved it. If I don't open it, I'll know that I don't need it. And I don't have to worry about whether it's all actually junk or worth anything, because the thrift store will go through it and decide that for me.

Great post/thread.

I just LOVE my coffee table being used as a bad example (sigh). Laure's Mom

We're moving soon and I dumped all my mags in the recycle bin...(2 minutes later someone was rifling through them and taking the ones they wanted). I also had my husband do the same w/ his photography mags - didn't work as well as I wanted but came up w/ a solution. The magazine filers I had (I had about 15 of them), I gave 1/2 to him. Now it's the only place he can put the new ones. Once these fill up, he has to sparse out. Of course, I kept 4 mag filers for myself...let's not get crazy. My "real" problems are the books. I actually re-read them. We packed 4 huge boxes of books, sold them to some shop in Eastern CT - we could either take the $ or hold onto the receipt for purchasing future books. If I were alone, I would have held on to the receipt. My husband told me it was easier to let it go. And he was right, cause we have 5 more bookcases to go through.

is there a recycle bin for husbands???

@umithepumi - I think it's interesting to see what people have on their coffee tables when visiting. Plus, your guests can flip through and start conversations based on them! Like "Good grief, who needs a magnetic heating pad slash coffee maker!?"

@jkgalbny - I did read a sci fi story once where you could "swap" kids (called KidSwap of course) and at the end of the story the woman spies a brand new "MateSwap" opening at Sears. Someday!!!

I'm totally a "but it's still good/usable" packrat. The problem is that the packrat mentality has actually paid off a couple of times, the most noticable one being restocking my brother's apartment after he lost everything to flooding from Katrina. All those extra knives/pots/plates/silverware/lamp/sheets/etc went to his new place. We would have given him furniture, but it wouldn't fit in his car. Sure, they weren't fancy and new, but it saved him money so that he could buy other things like clothes and meds.

On the plus side, I didn't replace most of the stuff that we gave to him, so overall I have less stuff.

My problem is actually getting rid of the stuff. When I lived in a more urban neighborhood, it wasn't a problem. The urban scavengers would show up magically and make everything disappear in about 10 minutes. Now I live in a less dense environment and don't have a car, so it takes much more effort to get rid of stuff. I can't throw it all in the trash and I'm too much of a procrastinator/too lazy to post an iten on Craigslist. Yes, I know what the answer is: get less lazy.

I live by a pretty strict 'no net gain' policy. If I get a new pair of shoes, I recycle an old pair. New appliance, an old one goes. New chairs, old ones go. Books ... CDs - if one comes in the door, an old one has to go.

This approach has many benefits, one of which is that I'm always upgrading - I never buy a thing just to have it, I actually have to consider what I'd get rid of to make room for it.

Luckily I live in an urban scavenger environment, so I don't have Jooly's problems.

I feel that you should be aware of every single thing you own. If you forgot that you owned something, you have too much stuff. Most of my belongings are used often with the exception of seasonal clothes and old math class notes.

(How many of you have ever cleaned out the back of a closet or the garage and said "Hey, we had a rice cooker/picture frames/etc. all along!" after having recently purchased them?)