It's been one of my resolutions (literally for years) to invite people over more often. And for some reason it just doesn't happen as often as I'd like. I've got tons of excuses: I'm tired, the place is dirty, I haven't hung artwork yet, work is busy, etc. But the bottom line is that I feel so much happier when I get a chance to entertain. Seeing friends and having them in my home does so much for my spirit and sense of community that no matter how I was feeling before people came over, I always feel totally inspired afterwards (even when there's a sink full of dishes to do). So here are 5 ways that I'm getting over the excuses and getting people over to hang out this summer:
5 Excuses To Invite People Over
It's important to me to sometimes get to plan a whole party and get really into the details and other times to have people over spontaneously because I made tea or something. Right now I'd say I average having people over about twice a month but I'd like to double that so that each week I'm doing something, even if it's really small. So here are 5 ways I plan to motivate myself to do both kinds of entertaining:
1. Clean the house: It's my number one excuse, so to get over it my plan is to just do it. Also I hired a cleaning person to help out twice a month. Now that there are 4 of us instead of just me, it's more cleaning than I can really stay on top of. So the hope is that if the house is clean, I'll be more likely to want to break out the platters and start serving. This also helps with the spontaneous get together.
2. Buy pretty invites: So often I wander into a stationery store or see a great invite online and think, oooh I'd love to send those out for a party. And then never do. Since I'm cheap, if I bite the bullet and buy the invites, I'm that much more likely to just make it happen. And once I set a date, I can't back out of it with lame excuses.
3. Make too much of something: I love baking and making desserts, so this one is easy. If I make a whole batch of creme brulée, people start coming out of the woodwork. Suddenly it's an easy way to entice people over at the last minute without it being a whole to-do. The same works for a batch of mint tea and a sunset or cake pops and an episode of Flight of the Conchords. Check out the kitchn for lots of recipe inspiration. Or if you really don't have the time or energy to make anything, stop by the farmers market and have a 'I bought lots of fresh peaches' party.
4. Decorate: this is in line with 'if you build it they will come". Keeping fresh flowers and fruit around starts making things feel festive but if I take it further and put up some streamers or a home made garland, I can't help but get in the party mood.
5. Pick a theme/celebration: This one is the most fun. Basically I round up a list of things I've been wanting to do: projects, activities, recipes, etc. Then, instead of doing it by myself, I invite others over to share. For instance: working on my garden. I can invite people over to do some planting and send everyone home with a plant. I've been wanting to take advantage of the swimming pool in our complex, so invite people over to share and do a whole pool party. The Kitchn has some great cocktail recipes I've been wanting an excuse to try. So I can invite people over for that. Maybe it's board games, an excuse to go for a walk, or host a breakfast. But if I think about the things I've been meaning to do for a while, it's always more fun with other people involved.
How do you get over the excuses and just get people over?
Related Reads:
Amy Sedaris' Entertaining Tips
Setting the Home Bar
Inspiration for Entertaining: Chealsea's Tablescapes
(Image: Paper and Canvas)
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Is it just me? I find the concept of cake pops disgusting. Cake crumbs smooshed with frosting... :-( I'd rather have the cake in any other form (cake with icing, cupcakes, cake with powder sugar sprinkled on top, petit fours, etc).
I'd like to have ppl over more as well, but 2x a month already sounds like a lot! I'm lucky to invite ppl over 3x a year. (Working on it, though.) I guess it depends on what your baseline is.
Also, I hope that now there are 4 ppl living there means there are also 4 ppl cleaning.
view SanDiegoAT's profile
My friends and I take turns hosting dinner once a week. Yes it seems like often but once you get in the groove it is a welcome part of the week...sometimes the meal is fancy and the house is clean...while others times not so fancy and not so clean. There are about 7 of us so we rotate and end up having dinner in our own home every few months! I've gotten great use of my dining room table and all those fun serving dishes too!
view Lynette's profile
We have people over for meals at least 3 nights per week! Often more if we have guests visiting. My boyfriend is the most amazing cook, and loves to cook for big groups. We are both highly social, have lots of different friends. There is no shortage of washing up helpers and bringers of bottles of wine, in exchange for such a great feast.. mostly it happens spontaneously for the reason in the post 'Make too much of something' and then the phone calls and inviting start.. half an hour later, we have a dinner party underway!
view RedOrangePink's profile
SanDiegoAT -- I agree. If you really don't want to do the cake thing with having to slice and serve, I'd rather see someone do cupcakes.
We have dinner with my parents at my place every other week. We like having people over, but sometimes we are just too tired to have to clean the house beforehand and wind up cleaning it up again the next day.
view ChrisGal's profile
As a somewhat antisocial person, the thing that helps me create frequent get-togethers is basing them on a recurring structure.
A while ago I was part of a year-long supper club, similar to Lynette's description. It was a great way to get to know some already-close friend better through their cooking, and at the end of the year we all spent a day cooking together to throw a huge dinner party.
This summer I'm planning to start a weekly "Prairie Home Companion" listening session inviting friends to bring over knitting or other hand work and join me listening to npr together.
view gerundgirl's profile
I used to be a regular Martha Stewart when I had a big place and hosted HUGE Thanksgiving extravaganzas. Football, large feast, movies, games! But the last few places I've lived in didn't allow for much entertaining for reasons beyond my control.
I'm in a studio apt now and only until these last two Cures have I even seen a glimmer of the possibilities again because the place just looked like a mess with handmedown mismatched furnishings, 10 years worth of clutter and lack of style. I'm no longer in my 20's, so it was time for a major overhaul. Now that I've been redoing the place, I am so excited to start having cocktail parties. That's all the room I have, but I'm just so thrilled to actually have another human over to socialize.
So my excuse is, "Hey, I'm entertaining again! Come on over!"
view krpm1 aka Kelly:)'s profile
I am horrible about hanging out with people and I've used all of the excuses you've listed above and you can add "money" to the list. In my head, it always seems like I have to buy booze and food and other things to have people over, so I avoid it. But I just moved into a new place and a friend of mine works close by. So he just dropped by yesterday while I was in the middle of cooking dinner.
This is my other excuse. I'm afraid people won't like what I've made, especially because I cook vegetarian and vegan food (scares lots of my pals in theory). So I just told him it was a noodle casserole and he loved it! So company and dinner didn't require more money than I already spent on groceries for the week. We talked, watched tv, and I think I'll be making less excuses now.
view graciela's profile