House guests are different breed of headache (let's admit it: we're happy when they come, and 99.9% of the time, much happier when they leave), but we--and I'm making a very gross generalization on that "we"--stress out when our significant other's parents are coming. First: the cleaning to end all cleanings happens. Second: the making sure of food being in the fridge (all the subsequent cleaning of the fridge). Third: the activities to plan.
A personal story: My friend's in-laws are extremely easy-going and wonderful in all aspects of the word. They have their quirks (their idea of an afternoon well spent is going to Costco), but all in all, they are simply good parents who mean well and want to be useful, like stock up the freezer with homemade lasagna (yes), do your laundry (okay), and tell you that you need to replace your air conditioning unit (what?). However, my friend tells me, "At around the third day, I'm burnt out, cranky, and I want to kick em out."
Now, I've picked up a few tips on ways to be a better host, but I have yet to come across solutions to deal with the in-laws...It almost feels like they are particular brand of house guest that should be handled with extreme care (and caution). So here's our query: What tips or advice do you have for entertaining your in-laws to fend off the crankiness?
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Put them up in a nearby hotel.
view hrhprincessfiona's profile
As a divorced person, I haven't had to deal with visiting in-laws for a while, but visits from my parents have sometimes been a nightmare. I usually deal with them by trying to find some group activity that we can all enjoy, and making time for myself (when they can go to Costco, or whatever). I also make a point of including friends in some of the things I do while my parents are visiting because everyone seems to behave better when non-family are around.
I have to confess that sometimes I put something out specifically for my parents to get appalled at, so that they can focus on one obvious thing. For instance, a few years ago when my family came to my place for Thanksgiving, I hung a sculpture of breasts in my bathroom. That seemed to distract my religiously conservative family enough that they didn't notice the wicca books or my "L Word" DVDs.
view bohemiangirlpdx's profile
Funny how we ended up moving to an apartment with no guest room but a hotel next door...
I refuse to stress out about parents visiting, though. Our home is our home. People who are displeased by our homemaking are welcome to visit with us solely at restaurants, their homes, and other territories that suit them better.
view wende in the twin cities's profile
Skip out on the afternoon trip to Costco by telling your spouse that he should take them and spend some quality alone time with his parents. That way you've had a little time to breathe at home by yourself. Do the same when your parents come to visit.
Don't feel like you have to "entertain" them constantly. They came to visit you and see you face to face. Have some good snacks on hand and spend some time doing your normal activities, even if that means sitting on the sofa with a good movie.
A nearby hotel is a good idea too, I know that my parents sometimes prefer it so that they can relax at the end of the day without being in our hair.
view amy (rustyletter)'s profile
Treat them as you would a TODDLER, assume they will:
-get into every cupboard in the house
-find the dirtiest place in the house (maybe they won't cover themselves in it... maybe they will...:P)
- need to be kept very very busy as to not trash something (like your ego or patience)
- be tired out (if they sleep they can't be annoying)
- be told off (if they do soomething really wrong let them know in a nice way. if your kids did it they'd be yelled at if your coworkers did it you'd tell them off. Just because the one you loves their procreant doesnt mean you have to treat them like royalty)
-teach them how to get their own drinks and food.
view venus_thames's profile