ATLA reader Jessica wanted to inquire about other people's housekeeping habits :
Recently, my partner visited her parents, and during the week she was there, realized her mother is suffering from a not-so-mild case of OCD when it comes to a clean house. Morning, noon and night she is "washing" something, or was instructing a family member to do so. When I've spent time at their house, I've felt rather uneasy, due to the fact that there are certain off limit hand towels, decorative soaps and rules that must be followed. Their home is immaculate.
(Note: Include a pic of your problem and your question gets posted first.
Email questions and pics with QUESTIONS in subject line to: LA(at)apartmenttherapy(dot)com)
Link To All Good Questions
Once, after a nice dinner with them, we all agreed to go to the movies. We would have to leave the dirty dishes in the sink and do them upon our return. well, that idea didn't fly with her mother. she said she wouldn't be able to enjoy the film knowing her kitchen was a mess.
Everyone has a different version of what a clean home is. I've lived with roommates who have dumped their dirty cat litter in the kitchen trash and never picked up a cleaning product the entire time we lived together. On the opposite end, there are those whose stomachs sicken over the sight of a crumb.
I'm curious as to other people's housekeeping habits. When does clean become creepy ?
Jessica, there's obviously a wide gamut of cleanliness, each of us meriting different degrees as "acceptable" or "excessive". There are neat freaks, anal retentive organizers, Slobba the Hutts, Lazy Larrys/Lucys, and many other degrees inbetween. But those with OCD have an actual mental condition that isn't intentionally "creepy", but a psychiatric disorder which causes real intense anxiety. We hope your partner's mom seeks some medical help, as living in a museum of a home is difficult for just about anyone, including herself.
Personally, I'm bit of a neat freak myself. If left to my own devices, I'm often busy cleaning, reorganizing, fixing or trying to improve things. I don't get overly obsessive about it, but it's definitely a process that brings me satisfaction upon completion. My girlfriend on the other hand has a more laissez-faire attitude about the state of our home's clutter. Ultimately, I try to balance the desire to keep things orderly and presentable, while realizing a home is place to live within and not just showcase.
That being said, I'm looking forward to cleaning the house tonight after work. Talk about a wild Friday night. Adrian Monk would surely approve.
i once had a new roommate sit me down to talk about my "meth problem" because he caught me cleaning our fridge with a toothbrush.
but in my defense, it was a vintage fridge i got off craigslist, you HAVE to super-clean stuff like that before you have it in your home!
i find cleaning very thereputic and my apartment is generally "perfect" (thats my friends words, not mine). but if i know no one's coming over for a few days, i'll let the dishes pile up and the laundry go unfolded....but not for long or it starts to drive me crazy!
i've noticed that my mood is definitely affected by how clean my apartment is...
view my little apartment's profile
Jessica, has your partner's mom always been like that? I know I go thru stages with cleaning - sometimes almost obsessive and at other times letting things slide. Depends on how tired I am and what kind of day/week I'm having. Being afflicted with 'packrat-ness' (yeah, I'm waiting for a chapter of PA to open here so I can stand up and say, "I'm oceandreamer and I'm a packrat"), I happened on a website for help with that - FlyLady. She's got schedules and lists, but for those who've become overwhelmed with stuff, drastic measures are sometimes needed. The schedules, lists and encouragement helped me get a handle on things, haul truckloads of stuff to the dump and different charities (ok, it's a small truck, but..) and generally get and keep clutter and mess to a minimum.
All that said, if she's always been like this, medical help is definately in order. I hope things go well for all of you.
view oceandreamer56's profile
Did you see the "Monk Shui" design tips?
I especially like #12: "A cluttered home leads to a cluttered mind, and a dirty home leads to a dirty mind. Don't let this happen to you."
http://www.usanetwork.com/series/monk/interactivegames/monkshui/
view Sea's profile
I think I'm sort of in between, yes, I do have my cluttered moments but I don't let things just pile up everywhere. Generally, the living room/dining room are kept picked up most of the time, the bedroom and kitchen are often the lest tidy of places within the apartment as the bedroom also doubles as my study as that's where the desk/computer are also kept, the kitchen is messy due to a lack of a dishwasher (yes, I live in an older apartment) but rarely do I ever let them go for more than a day or two at best.
Right now, it's generally picked up but it needs dusting badly and the exhaust vent in the bathroom and it's electric heater needs to be vacuumed out, the kitchen needs it's good spring cleaning, ie, bleach/water or Amonia and water solution to really clean the cabinets and walls etc in the kitchen. I do try to do that twice yearly but it's not always done.
If anything, I keep things picked up so it does not look too cluttered even if it's not always the cleanest. But then again, I live alone and often lack the energy to clean on a regular basis.
view ciddyguy's profile
oh man, can i say amen? exactly like everyone. cleaner the place the better i feel. once, upon complete exhaustion after a week of work, graduation, and family visits i had to clean for an hour before our apt became neat enough for me to rest.
that said, it got that dirty because that week we'd just throw our stuff wherever.
view olya's profile
I'll let dishes stack up for a day or so and hold off on folding or doing laundry until I need it... lol, I guess I'm a bit of a slob when I can be.
Clean becomes creepy when it interferes with how you interact with others. Additionally, it also becomes creepy when you can't "let it go" or forget about it...My brother recently underwent behavorial therapy to help him with his OCD and that was my take away from it.
view theninthcloud's profile
I think a certain amount of cleaning is theraputic - I know it is for me. I can let dishes go for a day or two unless I've done a lot of cooking, then I have to get right to it. After a couple of days, though, it starts to drive me a little nuts. And I really enjoy sitting back and admiring the hard work I've done and how my apartment not only looks but feels clean and fresh.
Speaking of.. that litter box ain't feeling the love... ;-> gotta go...
view oceandreamer56's profile