I live in an apartment that used to be cool. Most of the people in the building are late 20s early 30s party animals, so having impromptu get togethers that last until 1 or 2 are pretty commonplace until this horrid couple moved in a couple months ago. They are ridiculously stringent about noise levels, even at 8 or 9pm on a Saturday. My boyfriend and I have an annual holiday bash, and this year's party is planned for Friday. However, we just got a phone call from our building manager, informing us that our downstairs neighbor has threatened to call the cops on our party if we make a peep after 10! The party starts at 8! What can I do? Help! -Rachel
Rachel, there's a famous saying that almost everyone knows: "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em". Why not extend your holiday spirit and invite your neighbors below to partake in the festivities, so instead of them being kept up by the sounds of festivities, they'll actually be part of the good times themselves? They can't complain if they're there having a good time with you.
But something tells us that if your neighbors below have already warned your building manager about contacting the authorities, there's a good chance you've been perhaps too loud for their liking on many past occasions (you yourself have called your friends "late 20s early 30s party animals", which doesn't bode well). End the new year with a good will gesture, perhaps with a small gift in hand (a bottle of wine?) and an outright apology for any inconvenience you might have imposed in the past and explain your plans. Usually this sort of considerate gesture takes people off guard, and more often than not, when you explain you're having a once a year party that they're more than welcome to attend, they'll be more apt to cut you some slack whether they attend or not. Because the truth is, your neighbors have the right to peace and quiet as much as you have the right to have a good time.
["Ugly Christmas Sweater Party" photo by paperladyinvites]
What is the building manager's role in this?
I wonder if the police would even show up, and if they did, what they could do if the party was normal (& not insane)?
Sorry I'm not more help - I'm just amazed that someone can make this type of demand when I have a hard time not being woken up at 1am by neighbors - on a worknight.
view shalgal's profile
I definitely agree that you should try giving them a little treat and leaving a note that says you're planning this party and it's a once-a-year thing and asking them to please excuse any excessive noise for this one night. If they have advance warning maybe they can plan something that will keep them out of the house until late.
If you're having a lot of parties though, they're not likely to be sympathetic. You can try asking your building manager if he thinks you're too loud, and attempt to get him on your side, which might help in dealing with the neighbors.
The police will just tell you to keep it down, but it kind of quashes the mood.
view OMG's profile
Have your party in a restaurant or bar...
view bepsf's profile
I would definitely try to make nice, and if you're met with coldness in return, I wouldn't worry; you tried to take the high road. I agree with shalgal, and I have a hard time believing the cops in any large metro area would even respond to a noise complaint on a Friday night.
I'm all for being peaceful with your neighbors, but complaining about a once-in-a-while party or expecting total quiet around 8 or 9 on a weekend is extreme.
view sissy's profile
I have the opposite problem - my neighborhood used to be peaceful and quiet, now it's full of the noisiest people who ever lived. I hate it.
While I personally wouldn't call the cops about a moderately noisy party on Friday or Saturday night (it wasn't all that long ago that I had a party-animal roommate), I do need my sleep, and I won't hesitate to call security whenever some drunken goofballs are splashing in the pool and screaming after 10pm on a weeknight.
Cut 'em some slack. Who knows, maybe they suffer from chronic migraines and the noise could actually be painful for them.
view Stiletto's profile
A few years ago a neighbor of mine (2 houses down) left everyone on the block a friendly note saying what day he'd be having his Christmas party and leaving a phone number for neighbors to call if they were bothered by the noise or whatever. I thought that was really nice, and I bet no one called him -- his party wasn't even especially loud.
I'd recommend that tactic if you must have your party in your apartment (and are actually prepared to quiet people down if there are complaints), but honestly, it's probably not going to help all that much since there is already animosity there. Other than that, I agree with Bepsf that you might take the party to a restaurant/bar. Lots of places book rooms for events.
view Caitlin in Seattle's profile
I've got mixed feelings on this one. As a lifelong apartment dweller, I understand that parties are a fact of life. However, I don't think that means common courtesy should be ruled out.
Definitely invite *everyone* who would be affected by the noise - chances are they won't come, but they might end up feeling more tolerant of the noise by this gesture.
Keep the noise to a courteous level. Conversation and laughter from the neighbors' apartments don't bother me; thumping bass and the imposition of the neighbors' musical tastes upon me do. Music doesn't have to be blasting to still be heard and still be enjoyable.
And remember that not everybody works a 9 to 5. Your Friday night may be your neighbor's Monday night!
view chez shoes's profile
I've got the crazy downstairs neighbor who bangs with the broom if I knock a glass over at 9pm on a weekend night. I feel you.
In the past I've always let neighbors know when I was planning on having any large and late party and it has always worked out fine - they have my number, they stop by for a beer and if anything gets too loud too late, they call me, not the police. It doesn't sound like your neighbors are going to go along with this scenario.
I'd just go ahead and try to be reasonable but make sure you're ready for the police to show up - no one underage, no drugs, etc - and have a sober representative to talk to the officer politely and let him know that your neighbors are unreasonable, turn down the music until the police leave the building and then get back to your party. If the police are called out at 10pm they're going to be more annoyed with the neighbors than you.
Ironically, my next door neighbors are two apartments of college kids who party seven days a week and wake me up on Tuesday mornings at 5am when they've lost their keys and their room mates don't feel like getting up to let them in.
There's got to be a happy medium, right?
The other interesting noise standard is the times which people feel are okay to be doing construction - ask people on this site what times are okay to be hammering. The answers are interesting. They're not the same as the times when people feel it is okay to be having a loud party.
view sciencegeek's profile
Your neighbors have a right to peace and quiet, and it sounds like you have disregarded that on numerous occasions already. I used to have to be up at 7am on Saturday mornings for work, so I certainly didn't appreciate my college-age neighbors blasting Justin Timberlake and screaming and laughing loudly on their deck at 11pm. I did call the cops, because I have a right to be able to sleep and they can take their party inside. Since it does not sound like this is a 'once a year event' I would take the party elsewhere and leave your neighbors be.
view amiencc's profile
invite them. and make and get them ear plugs for christmas.
view TheVillageVegetable's profile
Why does your party have to be loud? It's possible to have fun socializing without getting frat-party drunk and playing loud music.
view Lisa Hunter (Montreal)'s profile
Sound like you are the problem not your neighbors. Most large cities have sound laws about sound between 10 and 6am.
The fact that they have already talked to the manager and that you describe all the people as party animal like that is something common for people in there 30's sound like you haven't been a good neighbor.
We live next to a pub that has weekly jam bands so it's not like we have a problem with some noise but when some 20 something art students moved above us, they seemed to have no concept that having keggers with wrestling and dancing until 4 in the morning on thursday wasn't ok.
Luckily we were able to educate them.
Here's some things you can do to not be a douche of a neighborhood.
first and foremost, go and talk to your neighbors and apoligize for your building, let them know you want to have the party and ask them what you can do to make it better, a better night, certain sounds etc.
then
1.let everyone in the building know when you are having a large party.
2.invite the people. even if they don't come, it shows respect
3.give them your number or let them know that it's ok if they ask you to quiet down.
4.plan on starting the party earlier and plan having the dj stop playing music or playing down tempo/softer music after 10
5. if it's so important, have it at another location
6. put it in the invite that you do have sound restrictions
7.consider having a no shoes policy for your place. that cuts down on a lot of the noise often.
8. make sure your doors/window are closed and have people smoke away from the building or not by their door.
We really like that our neighbors now let us know when they having parties and do quiet down after midnight.
view TheoJ's profile
I worked as a 911 dispatcher for the police many years ago...
Noise calls are such a waste of manpower!!
As a 911 call taker, I would always ask the complainant if they have asked the persons i question to quiet down. The next step would to involve the landlord/ manager. Calling the police should be the final resort. At times, as a police employee, I would call the loud household to inform them of the complaint.
Noise bylaws are in place for a reason... but it is nothing criminal, so no permanet records are created.
Here is what typically happens when a noise call come ins:
First, the priority is low for a city police force (unless other factors are involved, such as youth rowdiness, dui's, assaults etc). So on a weekend, the response time would be a slow one (of course, no code 3 - lights/sirens)
Normally, the police will issue a warning and tell everyone to quiet down, or completely call it quits. A by-law noise violation ticket can be issued. If there are illegal activites present, it becomes criminal rather than civil action (underage drinkers, drugs etc).
Normally if police are called twice, they will shut it down themselves by clearing everyone out of the dwelling (they will wait around this time). They are usually really tolerant on holidays (ie New Years etc) -- of course, it depends on the standard operating procedures (SOPs) at your detachment, as well as the individual officers attending.
As for advice:
I love the idea of extending the invitation to your neighbours. If they refuse, then have the party but be courteous. They could be shiftworkers, early risers, physically "sensitive" etc. (you just don't know the circumstances).
You can still be respectful and have fun! Just turn the fesitive celebrations down a few knotches! Start the party earlier (no noise bylaws are applicable during daytime -- it is all subjective). Keep the music low, muzzle the loud party animals, keep windows shut, shoes off on wood floors and have an appropriate curfew. Common sense!
And if the police do show up, be apologetic and cheerful, merry and bright! Mention that it's a little festive get-together. Surely the officers will respond in the same gracious manner... and will perhaps extend a little "holiday" leniency!
My golden rule: Treat others how you wanted to be treated...
Enjoy and have a Merry Christmas! (:
view christmasishere's profile
Offer them a night at a really, really nice hotel. That's the only thing I would accept.
view charlenemcbride's profile
Maybe it's because I still like having fun, but I despise intolerant neighbors. Everyone has different schedules and I always thought it was absurd when my neighbor would bang on his floor with a broom for moderate noise (medium volume music conversation) at 11pm on a Saturday and then run laundry at 6am directly over my bedroom. We leave in cities. These are the concessions we make.
Respect and consideration are the first priority, but so is tolerance. I always have earplugs on hand when my neighbors kids are drinking beer in the backyard....
view Heatherbelle's profile
At our old apartments we would let everybody know that we were having a party and that they were welcome to come. Now in this apartment, we forgot to tell our neighbor so when my friends and I laughed too loud one night she decided to call my landlord in another state rather than come by and tell me. The next day I went to apologize and she only spoke to me through her screen door. I thought that was extremely rude.
view pistache's profile
thats why rich people live in different neighborhoods. they have their parties elsewhere, not in their 600 sq ft apartment or condo.
view wu1chef's profile
I used to be a shift worker, doing only graveyard. I had one neighbour who would *blare* daytime talk shows all day, thinking I guess that no one else was home around her during the day. If that wasn't enough to sleep through, she argued aloud with the guests on the show! Yelling and screaming at the tv. I decided it was best in that case to just keep my mouth shut and try to sleep.
On the other hand, on my last night in the building when we were taking my luggage downstairs (I moved across country by early morning flight) I saw posters up in the hall about a party for a family's 50th birthday. How nice, I thought, they warned us and said that by midnight (Friday) everything would go quiet. The neighbours were at the other end of the hall.
At 12.30am when we went to take luggage down, I opened my door to be blasted by music from the other end. Loud reggae, accompanied by very drunken singing. The hallway was separated in two by a glass door, and on their side it was filled with smoke (not just cigarette). Instead of going outside, they had parked lawnchairs in the hall and were smoking there. There was a cooler at the elevator, more chairs, and many drunk guests laughing, screaming and singing. When we passed through to go to the elevators with all my stuff, they "welcomed" us with crude jokes, flirts, and tried to grab my bags to help us out. Trash everywhere in the hall.
You better believe I called the cops.
view pikku.sukka's profile
Yes you should respect their right to peace and quiet after a certain time - check what your local regulations are and stick to them by keeping it quiet after a certain time
But you are also entitled to have parties in your own home without having neighbours threaten you with the police before the party has even started - its very bad mannaers for new tenants to start making complaints straight after moving in - they should have investigated what the building was like before they moved in and not chosen it if it was a notoriously party-type building
The majority of people do work 9-5 mon-fri and you shouldn't have to be considerate of people that keep strange hours or work nights - its up to them to find housing that can accommodate their different hours, not for everyone else to keep quiet on a saturday night just for them!
view Violetsrose's profile
A lot of apartments are starting to have quiet hours - where we live, after 8pm you are not supposed to be blaring music and the neighbors are supposed to call the office if they have tried to warn you once. I get up at 6am through the week and 7am on Saturday do to work - I don't tend to get annoyed unless it's loud after 11pm. Your neighbors have a right to get some sleep. It's not their fault they moved in with drunken idiots - I doubt they would have if they had known.
We do have guests over and you do not have to be loud to have fun. If you're doing a holiday bash, do it during the day - your neighbors will likely to be gone. If it has to be at night, either silence it by 10pm or rent a party room somewhere. Best ways to cut sound - no shoes, keep the music as background noise not blaring, don't serve a lot of alcohol since you are likely to get drunken people running around who will piss off the neighbors more, etc.
Remember - you are disregarding their feelings. They have every right to call the police and disregard yours.
view ChrisGal's profile
Just as a side note -- I'm not sure where the supposed police dispatcher above lives, but police here will give you a strict warning the first time to turn it down and will stay til you do. If they have to be called out again, they will end the party - by force if you refuse - and you will get a fine. In my neighborhood, the fine can be up to $3000. Is that really worth the party?
view ChrisGal's profile
Invite them along and get them boozed :D
view MsUnreliable's profile
I like the idea of first inviting them, and then offering to get them a hotel room (at a decent hotel.) Maybe even pass around a 'tip jar' at your party to help pay for it! Though I must say your self-description as a bunch of party animals sounds a little, uh, honest as to what is actually going on. If throwing loud parties until well past midnight is the norm, I can see why they are now trying to nip party noise in the bud.
view home body's profile
I definitely see where everyone is coming from and agree that courtesy should be the first policy. Let everyone know ahead of time about the party. Also maybe be especially courteous to the neighbor who has already expressed their feelings. Let them know that it has been a holiday tradition for many years before they even moved in but I dont think that you should apologize for the whole building, especially if your not guilty.
Why can't people entertain and party at their own place especially during the season. I'm sorry but renting out a whole place (bar, restaurant) may not be an option for some people. Especially during these times I think its important to gather around and celebrate with the people you value the most with great food, conversations and music. Sometimes even if the music is at moderate it can all still be quite loud.
Unless everyone in your building has planned a holiday party everynight, I think your neighbor should understand. The only way to know is to extend an invitation and just talk.
view PJers27's profile
You don't have to rent out a whole floor of a bar or restaurant - there are places where you can rent a party room. If you are set on the holiday party, then have your guests chip in. It's just not decent to make your neighbors deal with the noise - maybe they have to get up early the next morning and you are keeping them from getting sleep. I do not agree with the person who posted this - if I was his neighbors, I'd follow through with what I said. The party needs to be moved to another location - maybe to a place where someone owns a house or something.
view ChrisGal's profile
I find it hard to believe these are the only neighbors who mind the noise, first of all. They may be just the first pains in the asses (to you) to come along. Just as they are annoying you, you are taking the liberty to justify yourself in annoying them. That said, a party every once in a while should be par for the course, even for them. If they've complained before, and they consider your noise level to be a known entity, admit you're disturbing your neighbors with no real plans to change your ways.
Even trying to keep it quiet isn't going to be quiet enough. Just any amount of stomping on the floor and the kinds of noises people make when they're playing Pictionary or Buzzwords is going to have an effect. I'm not going to say don't have your party, and I've never really had experience throwing parties or inviting grouchy neighbors to them, but re-read your lease. It probably says you're not allowed to infringe on your neighbors' right to some quiet especially at late hours (no matter the day, no exemption for weekend nights) and that you've had a good run unchecked. There were probably neighbors who hated you, but hated more the social offense as people like you vilify people who disturb your rhythm of life by being cranky. It's tough to want your peace and quiet in a world being ruled by neighbors who think their comforts take priority, especially at a frequency more than very occasional.
view K T G's profile
Talk with the people! Try to reach a compromise. If you've all ready pissed them off in the past it will be hard.
Think about how obnoxious it is to stay up well into the night because of drunken hollering, loud music, etc. It's annoying. More tolerable if you at least know about it.
Tell them you'll turn off the music at 11PM and people will be gone by midnight.
view tashar's profile
I agree with Tashar to talk with them. Ask them when they are going to need up the next day and when they would need to be asleep. Maybe you could try to end your party around then. Maybe take the party down a few notches - like I said before, some music but keep it down like background noise, not enough alcohol to get people drunk, have all guests remove shoes, keep the guest list down, etc. You'll just seem more classy and your neighbors will appreciate it.
With KTG, you are probably violating your lease by being so loud so late at night - more than likely enough that the police can and will get involved if called. So end result is you with a huge fine and having to have the police end your party (which I doubt will be fun) or you having to find another place to live when your landlord gets sick of it.
view ChrisGal's profile
Write them a wonderful invitation to your party and mean it!
Next, go to them in person and acknowledge that you understand they like to retire early and in the spirit of the holidays would like to extend the invitation to include a wonderful evening at a local B &B or a good hotel with great view and roomservice(your treat!). Include the cab fare there and back. If they want to discuss the noise. Just smile and say you will be happy to discuss a resolution after the holidays and make a date then and there for lunch with them.
Sometimes you have to pay to get what you want.
view coronado1201's profile
If one set of neighbors has called the cops on you, there are others who are offended and but haven't. You know why they haven't? Probably because they are afraid of what you will do to them.
I live in a neighborhood that is all houses. They are ranch style and so a lot of elderly people live here. The house next door to me was bought by a guy in his twenties who liked lots of partying and renting out rooms to his buddies.
There's nothing like the sound of drunk girlfriends leaving a house at 2 AM, screaming at the top of their lungs. We really enjoyed having the empty liquor bottles and beer cans in our yards.
I was the only one in the neighborhood who ever reported them to the cops. You know why? The elderly people who lived in the neighborhood were afraid that these young guys would HURT them if they complained.
Think about it. How would you like for your grandmother to be so afraid of the neighbors that she would never approach them or anyone else to complain. Afraid that her house would be vandalized or that they might even attack her to get even?
The neighbors weren't far wrong. I'm in my fifties and one of the youngest people in the neighborhood. My complaint did result in the police going out and the young men harassed me after that. I had mail stolen, my newspaper was frequently missing before I got it, and they would go out of their way to throw garbage on my lawn.
The best thing that happened in my neighborhood was when the guy who owned the house lost his job and had to sell the house at a huge loss. A police officer bought it. Our neighborhood is nice and quiet, again. When it snows, this young man goes out and shovels for his elderly neighbors so they can get out of their houses.
He's getting lots of gifts from appreciative neighbors, this year. We've practically started a fan club.
view Aldyth's profile
I would have the party as usual until 10 and then carry on at a neighborhood bar. That will give people an opportunity to enjoy your hospitality and then get rowdy at another location.
view jfinteriors's profile
I'm lucky, both my neighbors are among my closest friends. They're present at all of my parties.
view STYLeyes's profile
Our loft building just got the 20 something party animals evicted. We all work at home, and these guys were allegedly artists who had to play their tunes night and day really loud. Called the police every time (helps to have friends at the local station house.) Finally our landlord (who just so happens to run a modern furniture company so beloved by AT) got tired of us complaining, got tired of being called at home to come over and sort out his lousy tenants, and took steps. They moved out over a month ago. They'd been assholes from the first day--didn't want to compromise, didn't want to discuss, took defensive stance, moved on to muttered threats.
If you want to have a loud, loud party, with random drunks pissing out the windows, move back to the frat.
view Palmetto's profile
"Chrisgal" -- that's exactly what I said!
I gave you the inside info as a dispatcher you not only answers 911, but dispatches the members to the calls.
That's here in Vancouver (VPD). E-Comm. As well as Victoria (VicPD). I have worked for RCMP detachments as well. So I am thoroughly experienced in the handling of noise complaint calls!
There are bylaws and laws in place to protect people’s right to enjoy their own space in peace. Here is such a bylaw:
Sec 2. of Noise Bylaw 7059: No person shall make or cause to be made any noise or sound in or on a
highway or elsewhere in the Municipality which disturbs or tends to disturb the quiet, peace, rest, enjoyment, comfort or convenience of the neighbourhood or of persons in the vicinity thereof.
Sec. 3. of Noise Bylaw 7059: No person, being the owner of occupier or being in possession or control of real
property shall suffer or permit any person to make or cause to be made any noise or sound therein or thereon which **disturbs or tends to disturb the quiet, peace, rest, enjoyment, comfort or convenience of the neighbourhood or of persons in the vicinity thereof**.
Noise in private place disturbing neighbourhood - a fine no less than $200 (which is completely subjective).
One last thing, Chrisgal... I am not a "supposed" Dispatcher!
Goodness. You better believe **I'm real**, sweetie.
Copy that?
Each call is a lottery from hell. Respect 9-1-1 and those who attend!! It ain't an easy job. Trust me.
view christmasishere's profile
GREAT Advice on this so far! Especially offering to treat them to a night in a hotel if they don't want to join the party -- GENIUS!
#1 -- TALK you your downstairs neighbors with a true and sincere desire to work things out. "Seek FIRST to UNDERSTAND, then to be UNDERSTOOD!"
Acoustics are odd, and they may feel like they are living under partying elephants. Maybe they have never lived in an apartment with upstairs neighbors before. It definitely sounds like they are frequently disturbed by noise they perceive to be coming from you. I moved in over my best friend, and he kept asking me if I was "clogging" upstairs, which I wasn't. But, I did stop wearing my shoes in the apartment, which helped.
#2 -- THICK FLOOR COVERINGS -- If there is an overall noise problem, & it sounds like there is! Get nice lots of thick floor coverings, and put thick padding underneath. For party situations, you may want to layer all of your rugs in the "party" areas. Also, remember that if you have windows / doors open, that sound carries to the point where it can seem louder as it enters your neighbor's windows. So, keep windows & doors closed, and think about hanging some extra layers over those windows to muffle the sound.
Once your neighbors know that YOU are a caring, conscientious person who truly wants to solve the problem, then things will be a lot better. As someone said, they may be "SCARED" to talk to you about it, which is why they are calling the building manager, etc. Work together to identify exactly what the problems are, be sure to keep them posted on what steps you are taking to address the concerns, and provide them with multiple ways to contact you for any future problems.
This is a wonderful "life lesson" situation, because I can absolutely promise you that some day the shoe will be on the other foot : ) Plus, the building manager may very well decide to weed out those "fun" party neighbors in favor of quiet & mature folks.
view LeahDaisyD's profile
I'm sure everyone above gave really great advice so here's some UNcommon advice. Let them call the cops. Not sure how noise complaints are handled in LA but in NYC (brooklyn to be exact) we've called the cops on our old loud neighbors all the time. IF they actually showed up, they'd bang on the door, tell them to be quiet and that was it. Sometimes they didn't answer their door and then the cops would just leave.
I don't condone loud behavior (heck I moved out of an apartment because of awful, loud neighbors) but I'm just saying.
view suziegoombs's profile
I should also add that in the situation above, the landlord did not care in the LEAST about the loudness issues, he did not live on or near the property and it was a rather large building. Also, apparently none of the other neighbors cared either since we were the only ones who ever complained.
view suziegoombs's profile
Christmasishere -- I also know a police dispatcher and two police officers. That's how I know how it goes. I have also researched the information near where I live. Different cities in the USA go be different regulations.
I agree with an above poster that the landlord might eventually rid the party animals in favor of respectful and mature renters they don't have to worry about.
Myself, I hold a small dinner party at least once a month - but I try to make sure everyone is out by 10pm since I know my downstairs neighbors go to bed around then since the guy has to be up at 5:30am. So far, he hasn't been bothered - but again, we don't wear shoes in our place and music is always kept down to the point where we'd need to be more quiet to hear it.
view ChrisGal's profile
Hopefully you respected your neighbors over the Holidays - and plan to from now on.
view ChrisGal's profile