apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

maybe an amish-made heater box? in all seriousness, it looks like far too much of an undertaking (without making it an even bigger visual obstacle) for it to have a real effect and anything restricting flow, etc. could be dangerous/deadly.

Some landlords are so stupid...

Oooh, that's really ugly. The rest of the apartment looks so lovely!

Is it mounted to the floor? If not, I would just move it to the left, under the painting, beside the fireplace.

Since the vents look like they're on the top, I don't think it can be covered. And it doesn't look easily paintable.

Invite the landlord for a glass of wine. Drug the wine. Chain him to it. Disrobe him. Duck tape his mouth. Leave him no food or water for one month. Take a trip to another state, return, report his body. This way, it will be worth the prison time knowing that the last thing he saw before he died was that heating system he installed. Let the media report the motive and be a warning to other landlords.

um.... awkward..

yikes. have no idea. but the apartment is lovely otherwise... i like the painting on the wall..who is the artist?

Perhaps a larger piece of furniture on the left of the fireplace, placed at an angle. I'm thinking a large cabinet, about the height of the shelf on the mantle, something that will take your focus toward it (and not the fireplace) while sitting in the living room. It might also help obscure the view of it jutting out from the other end of the living room.

Maybe moving the couch/settee to an angle in the bay windows as well, so as not to be confronted with said heating unit?

Maybe a fireplace screen? I think a solid one might at least help.

I'm sorry I have no advice for you currently. The apartment is a beauty except for this thing. I wouldn't have rented it before appealing to the landlord. He or she may say oh well and easily rent it to someone who doesn't care, or they may have had a lot of trouble renting it and dropped the price? I'm guessing why anyone would take this apartment. This isn't a workable surface, it's a big rock in the living room. The beautiful beautiful living room. I have lived in some dogs of apartments where there was just some things you have to live with until your lease is up, but I can't imagine putting in a lot of effort to make the place nice and modifying the fireplace with this. It's tragic.

Sorry I'm no help.

This landlord isn't alone--it's a very common situation in San Francisco Victorians.

Something like a short folding screen might help. I haven't seen any short ones but you could make one with three pieces of plywood and some hinges, then paint it. Some decorative painting would be nice. Or wallpaper it--here's a tutorial on making one with wallpaper, and what kind of hinges to get, etc.

Seriously, that is like seeing the world's biggest zit on Brad Pitt's face - you have SUCH a lovely apartment.

If this was my place, I'd dress warm, put plug-in space heaters in each room, and delicately unbolt that thing from the floor and hide it in a clost (until the landlord visits, anyway). I'm sorry, it's a lot of work, but cripes, that's the most unattractive placement ever. It basically ruins the rest of your gorgeous apartment. This is basically the equivalent of a dog turd in your living room - it may be warm, but you can't just let it sit there!

Gorgeous apartment what was he thinking?

try fire place screen infront of it? might need two to cover it since it sticks out so far. But would almost make it look 'right'


Depending on where the heat comes out maybe one of those nice wood radiator covers with an interesting filigree pattern? That is almost something they could take with them and just use as a table against a wall in the future as well (or to cover another radiator in another house!)

That is positively depressing because the apartment really is so nice and in LA, I'd bet it won't even be used THAT often. I'm at a loss as to what would hide it and not take up valuable space ... if it can't be moved, maybe a decorative screen?

At least you can hide it in summer, when you don't need any heating. But I don't see any other really convincing solutions. The pictures make me want to tear it out of the wall...

maybe some giant red arrows to point to it. Hey- at least it would afford a laugh or two. Maybe you could put a mini-big top circus tent over and invite people to peek in to see the freak show :)

click212--hilarious!

Maybe get two white square pedestals with decorative molding that matches the fireplace and put them on either side of the heater? At least then it may look a little more integrated, like an electric fireplace or something.
If not that, maybe just building a white box that surrounds its sides and top (leaving space between as needed) If its back starts at the fireplace and is deep enough to encase the heater, you might be a little better off. Its the stupidity of having the heater floating in front of the fireplace that makes this bad situation worse. Anchoring it will help a bit.

click212, you are hilarious. That scenario gave me quite a chuckle.

I'd move the settee to the bay area, and move the table that's currently in the bay to the area by the heater. If the table is an antique or could be damaged, then I'd opt for a small seating area with a side table for reading material.

I almost think you should forgo the fireplace as architectural decor altogether - having the sofa facing it makes it more of an eyesore. I think you should get a large folding screen to hide the area altogether, so you don't even see the mantel, etc. and put the sofa perpendicular to that area facing two chairs or something along those lines, so that it's not the first place your eye goes when you sit on the sofa. But seriously, why they didn't get a heater insert that fit *inside* the fireplace is beyond me. Surely they make them?

What about a simple wraparound white canvas skirt (hanging straight down, no pleats or gathers)? Sort of a heater-cozy without a top (for the vents)? I wouldn't want to add anything that makes it bulkier, and white would help it blend into the background better... Tough problem, good luck!

Do you EVER need heating in LA?

Call your landlord everyday, tell them there is something wrong with your heater. When they come to look at it, just say "It's in front of the fireplace." Repeat this as many times as possible, maybe they will do something.

That is so horrible, that would honestly be a deal breaker for me, it totally ruins everything.

So I'm the only one who doesn't know what "spandy" means, huh. Googling it was no help, since the only definition exists in the urban dictionary, and it still doesn't explain its use here.

I see no remedy of the heater situation. A folding screen will still cover the beautiful fireplace and would narrow the space while looking awkwardly plopped in the middle of the room. I have to go with click212 on this.

One word: Move.

Is there no option for either replacing it with a smaller/vintage unit or for renovating the fireplace?

http://shop.ebay.com/?_from=R40&_trksid=m38.l1313&_nkw=vintage gas heater&_sacat=See-All-Categories

spiffy dandy?

White stove paint? (It's high-heat enamel paint.) It probably wouldn't come out very well, I guess. But if it were white it wouldn't jump out as much.

(You might be able to remove it and bring it to a professional, maybe an auto paint shop, for painting.)

I like teeze's idea, actually. It could become a conversation piece. Definitely play it up, since there's no hiding it. Maybe you could change its costume for the seasons/holidays. And does heat come out of the top of it, or only the sides? If only the sides, then you could put a slab of marble or some other stone on top so it could be a little functional.

Maybe, turn the couch so the BACK of it is up against the heater and it is facing the opposite wall. You would only be able to see it from the side, and if you had a problem with that you could get a couch table like IKEA's Malm occasional table (basically a wood top with two legs that are the same width as the top, it is all 2x8ish thick. It would just look like your sofa is in front of the fireplace and it would have a table behind it to put stuff on as decorative elements. Then anchor the other side of the room with chairs and something big on the wall.


That is all I can think of. A little awkward, but then you wouldn't see it at all and would be drawn to the couch instead of the box. The shelf behind it could echo the mantle and both could have some nice things on them. But you would HAVE TO put something bold on the other wall to balance the room.

What a shame. Looks like it's got vents on the top and sides that can't be blocked, so that rules out making a cabinet to "hide" it.

The large fireplace screen idea might work, but really, I'm with whoever said disconnect it, store it, and use space heaters.

Please let us all know what you end up doing!!

In the SF Bay Area, we only use the heater about 2 months out of the year. I imagine it's even less in LA.

That being said, why not convert it into something else during the heater-less months? You could mimic the fireplace mantel and create a secondary set of shelves. Or build a box around it, add some padding and fabric, and you get a chair of some sort. Anyway, you know where I'm going with this...

Then for the month or two that you need the heater, you can remove the "cover" and use a screen to hide it. Feels like it could become useful with some creativity.

wall-I too want to know what "spandy" means, at first I thought it was a bastardization of spendy, but its not in urban dictionary, so...

constructive comment wise adding to lesley's folding screen, perhaps a fireplace screen, fender or a fireback to hide the front of that thing? oh never mind i just saw the limited space in pic 2. then develop a blind spot.

Sorry folks, all these remedies that still can't hide the dead rotting elephant in this place. Thanks, those of you who got a chuckle out of my idea. I would force the landlord to lower my rent to $5.00 a month or threaten to sue him for cruel and unusual punishment. No one has the right to do this to any other sentient being. I'm sure the place is roach and mice free because of it. Don't tell him that he might bring your rent up for the additional service that monstrosity offers.

Fluffing that big black metal box with screens, curtains, paint, marble slabs, etc. is like trying to teach a bull to tango. Ain't gonna happen!

BE CAREFUL WITH THIS THING!
there was one in a converted attic i lived in with a friend. She put some candles on top of it in the summer (since it was never on).. but the pilot light melted a candle enough to drip down and ignite. we woke up to flames literally SHOOTING out of the top- the heat was so intense in the living room that it killed all of her plants, melted all her records.. even melter the smoke detector off of the ceiling. luckily, in my panic, i shut my door- but my room still had smoke damage. by the time the fire dept arrived, it had burned out by itself. and none of the firemen were good looking. it was a very bad night.

GOOD LUCK- and dont place anything flammable on it!!!!!!!

I have no idea what you could do with this, except maybe what ehy2k suggested.

Whatever you do PLEASE don't cover it with fabric, or those wooden radiator style covers, vented or otherwise. My brother is an electrician, and he's seen to many heaters that have been covered, and consequently caused fires.

I don't know if there's anything you can do for that. It seems like any solution, short of removing it entirely, would be akin to putting lipstick on a pig. (The pig being the heater, not the rest of that gorgeous apartment.) I think if it were my place, I'd just try to get used to seeing it there.

I can't believe a landlord would do that, but people are weird sometimes.

build it its own roofless be-columned and pedimented miniature parthenon (white), the classical style will bind it to the mantel and it will be funny and fabulous

Can it be moved to the corner, why oh why would someone put it right there dead center in front of that beautiful fireplace!

what about building a bookcase around it ... the same size as the mantle? it could be somewhat subdued that way. kind of like how you can put a TV surrounded by other media and the tv seems less obvious. like this sort of: http://www.chilmarkwoodworking.com/imgprojects/IMG_1841.jpg

and def turn your couch to be perpendicular with the eyesore. throw a couple of chairs and a coffeetable across from the couch and take the emphasis off it.

that really is so unfortunate. I have one of these actually mine is probably about 10 years older BUT...my whole apartment is (disgustingly) covered in the worst 1970's woode paneling and berber so the space heater suits it much better than this lovely apartment.

antimatt - you should tell your friend that they should've blown out the pilot in the summer.

ooh i have the *same* problem in my apt in LA. so frustrating!

right now the couch is in front of mine, but it looks awkward and i feel like i'm giving up a feature of the room. i keep considering building a cover for it and turning it into a shelf, because i don't really use it anyway... you can buy heater/radiator covers (just google image "heater covers" and a few sites come up).

i'm also considering putting a narrow console table over it (if i can find one tall enough) and hanging some nice fabric from the bottom of the table to cover the heater.

looking forward to seeing the other ideas on here!

This is terrible. I saw an apartment with one of these when I was hunting in SF and wanted to laugh in the guy's face... WTF could they have been thinking??? Especially since that living room was so tiny I wasn't even sure you could get a couch in without the heater setting it on fire. I think a large metal folding fireplace screen is your only hope if you want to keep using it... that and constantly nagging your landlord to replace it with anything, ANYTHING else. If you don't want to use it for more than a few months our of the year, try a large folding wall screen around it and maybe some large potted palms, and reorienting the furniture so that the couch doesn't directly face it. If you could get by with space heaters, I would blow the pilot out, disconnect the gas if at all possible, and build or buy a wooden cover for it and make it into a console table of sorts... with a plant on either side it will still look like sh*t, but maybe be slightly less offensive?

Hate to say it, but this is a dealbreaker. If you care about how your apartment looks, which from the loveliness of everything else I would guess you do... you should not have rented this one. =(

Is it electric? Natural gas? Either way, it could be moved to a less obtrusive spot in the apartment, even in the living room area. It is absurd that it cannot be moved. My dad was a builder, and anything like this is movable...with a bit of work. If you're willing to pay, why would the landlord object unless he's a horse's heinie?

These gas heaters are everywhere in old San Francisco flats, and my apartment is currently cursed with two of them albeit smaller. If it's a gas heater, it'll be slightly warm from the pilot light even when turned off; so always keep any fabric or wallpaper away from them.
I've never quite figured out how to disguise mine when it's not in use. I've tried putting a large galvanized metal tray filled with plants (that like heat) on top or leaning a large mounted photograph across the front. I'm still stumped...

I agree with whomever said to paint it with heat resistant white paint. It'll at least camo it a bit.

I liked melanie's response- "This is basically the equivalent of a dog turd in your living room."

I don't know if this is a crazy question, but is there any way you could have it fitted into the old fire place? It's obviously not in use if it has a ginormous heater in front of it, and that would make it so much easier to cover in the warm season (which I thought was every season...) Go with the above suggestion, unbolt it from the floor and put a rug over the plate or whatever is left over, get a little space heater and tuck it in the non-working place.

Or, invite the landlord over for wine. Drug the wine....

MIRROR-TILE IT!

Since you won't be using it most of the year, get those big mirror tiles and gorilla-glue them to some panels that you then assemble around the heater, somehow.

It will be come "invisible" then.

I say take the best suggestions from up above and combine them into a solution. For example, cover the heater in mirrored tiles, except for the top. Paint the top white, and then put candles all over it. Invite the landlard over for wine, and drug it. Chain the landlard to the heater, fire it up, and destroy both the hideous heater and the too-stupid-to-live landlard.

Surely there are alternative ways to heat an apartment? Investigate the alternatives, and then put together a creative way to install a new system inexpensively, and put it to the landlord.

This should have been a dealbreaker; now it may be a bit late. But the landlord needs to hear, over and over, that people don't want to rent the apartment with this sort of eyesore. It devalues it considerably.

One thing you might want to think about is looking into Weathered Stone. It's a great application to cover stuff up and it looks like cut rock. You can find this and other ideas for faux finishes at www.mojofaux.com.

if it's a dangerous type of heater... I'd find a renters right rule that you could bend (if he's stupid) and get him to remove it...
What about building some sort of bookshelf around it... like ikeas square ones... I see that they are making them with cut outs for flat screens, and that may fit the heaters dimensions?

Are there any heating experts reading this blog? I would definitely get an expert to take a look at the think and evaluate the possiblities of moving it, disconnecting it, camoflaging it, replacing it with something smaller, etc. and the cost involved - it might not be as bad as you think. Then, if your landlord is reasonable, discuss the problem and what you want to do. Call me an optimist, but the landlord may not even realize what a problem it is and how it devalues his property. You would be doing him and future renters a favor by getting that thing out/hidden/replaced.

That thing is a freak show. Call the gas company first. They will come out for free. Have them check for leaking gas or carbon monoxide. If it's found to be unsafe, you'll have an easier time getting rid of it. Do not try to cover it or paste anything on it, unless you want to wake up inside a bonfire.
You can put a gas fireplace/heater inside the actual fireplace. I'm guessing he already has the flue vented through the chimney or he would not have bothered to place it in front of that beautiful mantel in the first place. Any plumbing heating company can hook it up, for about $550. The unit itself should cost between $800-$1500. I would investigate the model, get an installation quote, and offer to split the cost with the landlord. It will be better than throwing money away trying to disguise that monstrosity, and will prevent you from tearing your hair out every time you look at it. These units are non-combustible and will have to have a fixed glass and be heater rated. Think of it this way, if you didn't have that monstrosity there, you'd be paying a lot more rent. Just prorate the cost over 12 months. Getting rid of that freak show will definitely be worth it.