apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

I hope this posting was started entirely by that photograph - hilarious!

Perfect timing! Last night my neighbor had a guest over who had to be the loudest talker ever! I live in an apartment complex and haven't really heard anything through the walls since I moved in. But this guy last night.... geez, I could hear every single word he was saying. Tone it down buddy, there are other people around who don't want to hear you!

How do you handle noisy neighbors? I tend to get really annoyed when I hear my neighbors, especially the ones upstairs who seem to be coming through the ceiling (and its concrete!). Do you ask them to quiet down? Complain to management? Or maybe get out the broom and start hitting the ceiling? ;)

I'm curious how others handle it. I'm trying to find a diplomatic way of doing so.

grafxnerd, I'm having the same problem- my upstairs neighbor likes to pace/stomp up and down his apartment for a half an hour every night, and about 50% of the time it's when I'm going to sleep.

I'm considering tucking a nice little card under his door asking him if he could possibly pace around his living room, instead of above my bedroom, if it's after midnight. I don't want him to have to tiptoe around his own apartment, but if I'm losing sleep over it, something must be done...so it's either the card or asking (politely) him face-to-face.

The most "diplomatic" way of handling the situation would be in person. Banging on the ceiling with a broom handle or sliding a note under the door would avoid that all dreaded confrontation, but more often than not will likely just build resentment on the other individual's part.

Daily Nuance,
Definitely a great point. Sadly, I don't do great with confrontation--haha. The banging on the ceiling is definitely a joke, however.

I have noticed though, that is just recently started, and I'm wondering if someone just moved in and is getting situated. It went on until 11:30pm and started back up at 6am though, the other night. Maybe baking cookies with the note would help? :)

Argh, I'm dealing with the downstairs neighbor with the broom. I keep trying to be quiet - no shoes inside, walking quietly if possible, we go to bed at 11pm, we're at work until 8-9pm every day, I put those little felt feet on all my furniture -and so on - but last night she started banging on her ceiling at 9pm when my boyfriend tipped over his drink which was on the floor and we cleaned it up.

9pm! And no, she doesn't have kids. And no, the cleaning process did not involve me putting on tap shoes.

What do you do when your neighbor is complaining about something unreasonable?

^^bang on the floor ;-)

I had a neighbor who played war type video games at 3am. I didn't know the person and since I live alone I didn't feel comfortable going over there myself, esp. since the noise didn't start untill 12am. I talked to my apartment managers and they called him saying that neighbors have complained about his noise and would appreciate if he played the games earlier, or turned the noise down. They never said who and made it sound like more then one person so he couldn't single anyone out. It worked wonderfully. I haven't felt like I was being bombed or shot at in months.

For those wondering what to do:

Always call the office/management and ask what their policy is. Some places have a person to do the confrontation part for you while keeping you anonymous. They also use that to document who is being too noisy, or who is complaining unnecessarily.

If they say, "Tough cookies," then try asking politely in person. A very nice note should be plan B, not plan A.

If you're renting, and the noise is late and out of control, toss it over to your landlord/rental agency.

I was living above a woman in Chicago who would watch pornos with the volume up to ELEVEN. And then reenact them (or it sounded that way).

I called my landlord, left a message, and it never happened again.

My issue is more that my neighbors seem to think they are entitled to all the space/peace and quiet they want. I live in an area of LA were parking is extremely limited and my live in boyfriend and myself both have spots alloted to us to park in. We both have small cars (a prius and an old sedan) they both have SUV's (a navigator and a tahoe). We both manage to get in and out of our tight spots fairly easily and keep to ourselves for the most part. Yet we get almost daily notes on our cars asking us to move more to left, pull forward more, etc so they can get their cars in when we are well within our own spots and aren't hanging over or out. Additionally they live above us and I swear they walk like elephants (we joke about them and call them Mr and Mrs Big Foot) and we can even hear them slamming their dresser drawers shut in the morning. My BF and I don't say much (other than to each other) mostly becase it is sort of expected when it comes to apartment living. Am I annoyed -- YES -- but some people never seem to get it and frankly I don't feel its worth it to stir up a fight as they don't seem to be the considerate type based on their notes.

I have a noisy neighbor who doesn't live in my building. There is a large, multi-apartment house adjacent to the property, I guess I can be happy my windows face the back yard and not the street, but occasionally (but kind of often) these guys have a lot of people over and the noise carries over. It's amplified, in fact, by whatever acoustics just happen to be involved with yard space. Trees don't really muffle anything. I can hear them really loud when they are talking at a normal level, so though they're not being technically loud, they are merely unaware how loud they sound to the entirety of the courtyard. I mean, at 3am, talking at an indoor voice in your own backyard ought not annoy anyone, but they might as well be shouting into microphones.

I think a lot of complaints I've ever had of a neighbor can be attributed to normal behavior, at normal noise levels that become amplified by natural acoustics, bass frequencies, lack of a rug, walking like a lurchy zombie, etc., oh, and smells like competing air fresheners, cooking, and dog pee. !!! - Basic lack of awareness how loud some sounds can be in the condition where it can be heard the loudest. I did have one neighbor who played her stereo so loud, I could feel the bass while leaving my tv on and going to take a shower, but I couldn't hear it at all unless I opened the front door of my apartment (after I got dressed). I had another neighbor I would consider absolutely rude due to the fact she hadn't trained her dog to survive all day without her without barking his head off. Rude to the dog, but I was going to lose it from the barking. She moved out eventually and never trained (successfully) her dog for that year.

I know I am probably not as quiet as humanly possible, but I'm somewhat comforted by the fact I don't hear much noise from other apartments. I don't hear yelling, phone conversations, stereos, video games, musical instruments, children, or power tools unless I'm passing through the hallways. I try not to annoy my downstairs neighbor in as many ways possible, and I hope I'm no more annoying than my upstairs neighbor (bearable, acceptable).

Alimay--the real problem are the city ordinances that let your landlord squeeze in too many parking spaces. I know everything thinks that driving a big car is a mark of the beast, but the small size of the spaces make it hard on everyone.

We just got rid of our noisy downstairs neighbors and got the landlord to insulate the ceiling of the loft below us. Yay!
They were jerks to everyone, and finally the whole building complained. We all documented every single instance of excessive noise, never confronted the jerks, but called the landlord or the office every single time.

I live next to a hoarder with feral cats who looove to station themselves beneath my birdbaths. He's a nice guy with mental issues. I gnashed my teeth, called animal control to no avail, and finally, have released my animosity. Noise would be another matter entirely, though.

the neighbor that lives behind us, his house is 8' away, installed 2 industrial sized AC units on the property line that go on and off all hours of the day and night. we went over to welcome him to the neighborhood and to mention that we hoped they could do something to remedy the situation..... long story short, he said no, we said yes, we called the town and now at every opportunity he does something to annoy us even more. moral of the story, no need to be "nice" to get what's within your legal rights. if they are loud go to whomever governing body is, landlord, town etc and get them to do the dirty work, in this instance specifically it doesn't pay to be nice. much better to be anon...

when i first moved into my last apt. there was a dog scratching like crazy in the bedroom above mine. i called the leasing agency and asked that he at least not lock the dog in that room on my days off from my day job (when i would do other work at home). but i let them know days i wouldn't be around so we could at least compromise. that worked for us.

later down the road he must have gotten a sweet new system for movie watching because i could hear it clear across my huge apt. into my bedroom w/door closed & music playing so i could sleep. but i waited a couple weeks to see if it continued before calling the agency. then one night it was out of control. i walked upstairs in my "pj's" at midnight, knocked on the door for 10 minutes. when he opened the door i was nice as could be, even apologized before saying anything else, and asked if he could at least turn the bass down. it was never a problem again!

I've noticed this as well, that asking people to keep the noise (or some intrusive behavior) down rarely works. There are regular people who make regular noise with normal manners, who tend to be pre-emptively apologetic, and there are takers, who just are as loud (or whatever) as they wish, inconsiderate of others, and incapable of registering your complaint with any response but sticking it to you worse.

I forgot to mention an argument I'd had with a neighbor I shared a wall with, it was halftime during the Super Bowl and he cranked his stereo up to a million. I know his speakers were right against my wall and the woofers were large. His excuse was "it's the Super Bowl" so excessive noise for a special occasion should render me without cause. I'd heard his stereo in varying volume levels before and after but never nearly so loud (sometimes loud enough to care, but not usually), but when people think they're justified, they simply do not care for anyone to kill their buzz. You're the bad guy no matter how much worse they are. When I say loud, I say like an explosion, like I was onstage with a performing heavy metal band, not just 'having a loud party' loud. They won't respond to notes except with laughter and antagonism, and they are not more intimidated or apologetic with a face-to-face request. They know they are loud and they want to be loud. If the landlord won't help you (because he was their buddy) and the police won't come until hours after there's nothing to complain about, there is nothing but to move away.

I live in an apt house with just six apts, so if I complain to the landlord, I would fear the people would know it was me. I am still thinking if I should say something....
I was raised by my mom being paranoid about not making noise "because mrs. X will hear". We could not jump or run, bounce balls, scream, yell, listen to music very loud etc. I have it so strongly in me, than after 10pm I have a tv/music so low I can hardly hear that :P

Now I hear everything... I try to tiptoe, not do any noise... my neighbors under me (I purposely wanted the top apt thinking it means quiet. silly me) - they have two kids, and obviously they dont' have a good control over them.. I am actually wondering if one of of the kids don't have some kind of disorder, because of the yelling and screaming (just random screaming). The mother yells a lot - she woke me up one Sunday, screaming (I think on the kid) before 7am! I think she doesn't realize how loud it is...

But my biggest pet peeve? People shutting the doors. There are door knobs, you can turn them, and close the doors quietly. but no - people must shut them so loudly, I actually jump when it happens, and I do feel the building shaking. how people feel it's ok? I hate noise, sudden loud sounds, I hardly ever listen to very loud music... so I might be oversensitive... but I can not believe there is anyone who doen'st find it annoying/unpleasant to hear the doors being shut loudly!

Just left a temporary apartment (thank gods) in an old house. The upstairs neighbors have two pre-school kids who start running from one end of their apartment to the other at some time before 5 am and, as far as I know (since I'd be at work part of the time) never stop until at least 2 am, when, maybe I'd be able to finally fall asleep. (The wee hours time checks based on insomnia or bathroom runs, when the noise always continued...)

We complained to them, we complained to the landlord, their response was, basically "what do you want us to do about it?" Since "make it STOP" didn't have any impact as an answer, we lived with it.

I think the previously observed building acoustics played into this, but they also stomped. The pace of the footsteps made it clear that this was small kids moving fast. We rarely heard adult feet. It made me crazy.

Now that we are out, the landlord is pressing for them to move downstairs, hoping the problem won't continue to new tenents.

I understand kids are kids, but that does NOT help a person fall to sleep!

Having had to deal with a noisy neighbor for the past few years, I've definitely come to appreciate my many prior neighbors in San Francisco, New York, and Seattle who were (comparatively) as quiet as mice. The experience has also made me more aware of the noise I make and how I might be affecting my downstairs neighbor.

I could write a novel about my terrible neighbours, but let's just say that living in an apartment building full of inconsiderate nutjobs is interested at the best of times. Living on the ground floor with courtyards front and back also means we get to be a rubbish bin for all the levels above us. And our poor lilly pilly has never been the same again after the vomit incident :\

haha great pic!

i've usually had decent neighbors, but some are impossible to stand. my parents had some w/ a rooster who would cockadoodledoo ALL NIGHT. these same people would get drunk & shoot things. i had one above neighbor would would drop his dumbbells on the floor (my bedroom ceiling). currently my neighbors are great except that when they cook, it smells amazing & i get really hungry.