apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

I think the key is knowing whether your decor is consistent because it remains relevant to your life, or whether it is something you're clinging to out of fear or worry. I mean, it seems that the real question becomes whether your relationship to the things in your home is healthy. If your home is a place you love to be, where you are both comfortable exactly as you are and safe to explore who you want to become, then why would you change it?

Lizzapearl, extremely well stated.

I completely redesigned my home over the past 12 months and it was an overdue change [2 years post-divorce, 15 years post-college, 6 years post-relocation to another state]. I made styling choices that reflect my matured taste and different priorities. For example, I sold grandma's dining table with two leaves. It seated 12, but 99% of the time, I only need to seat 2. I pared down to a pedestal table for 4 and it is one of the top-5 best decisions I've made.

Somone made a comment on a bedding post that one's style choice would be a flash-in-the-pan from one year to the next. When you're 20, that may be true. Now that I'm 40 my tastes tend to be more stable and I'm making purchases that I hope will be with me for several decades or more.

Changing your home style every year would be slavery to design trends and fads, and a reflection of poor judgement about one's own taste.

I think it all boils down to a tasty, "Know thyself and to thine own self be true".

Kors wears the same outfit for continuity, not because it's his entire wardrobe.


But do you have an eclectic vintage style because you want to? Or are you hanging on to old stuff because it's what you can afford and you might as go on with it?

If you won the lottery, would you stick with all your old favorites? While I wouldn't run amok at Restoration Hardware, I know I've got things that I've hung on to because I can't afford to replace them.

Who you are at 28 isn't always the person you are at 43.

People when they're young, just starting out, tend to make their purchasing decisions on getting the most amount of things they don't have: a couch, a bed, etc., and may bring along some items like a dresser and someone else's old kitchen table. One may foresee relocating more often or put off buying the best of the best until they are in a stable couple with someone. Budgets change as one progresses, hopefully? but I think design is almost necessarily an evolution in taste. You can have some things forever and always find a place in your home for them, and the need. Your mate may disagree but allow some of your "ugly" stuff if they get to keep some of theirs.

The older I get, the more I want quality permanent stuff, well-chosen things. I want this thing because I want it, not because I needed it for something to sit on; I want to drink out of these glasses, not the perfectly good glasses my mom wants to get rid of, and thinks I'm hard up for. I find I'm less attached to things that have seen me through. There are also color trends, and also store trends. People buy stuff from stores they love, Anthropologie is a good example. They resemble the stuff you might have if you had any decent interesting heirlooms or hit a flea market every once in a while, but in reality, it's just stuff. I wait for the day when someone brings a dish to the Antiques Road Show and get smacked down, because Anthro stuff gets put in the goodwill. It can't last forever, you'll probably want new stuff in a few years.

In any case, the large pieces and treasures get rearranged and hopefully people know when to get rid of things that don't do them that much good. Make your home different every once in a while, look at things differently. Or, I guess it's easier to always have things just so, but that's stagnation. It might appear ideal and clean and "so you" but you're afraid to move a stick or hang that picture you like somewhere else to make room for something new.

I don't think that just because you don't change anything, it means you're stuck in a rut. You like it, keep it the way it is. Don't clog a lot of landfills because you feel you 'should' change something, or because of a trend. Of course it's ok to keep it the same!

I'm still transitioning from filling the list of "Things I Need but Don't Have" to buying things that really fit my style. My tastes have stayed essentially the same since HS, though, so it's easier than it might be. Thankfully, my Victorian writing desk fits just fine with my clean-lined couch and penchant for Asian stools.

I think as long as you're keeping things because you love them, you're fine. I hope to die with that desk and chair still in my home because they're beautiful and make me happy. I like to update accessories on occasion but the essential character of my home stays the same.

I was stunned to hear that a couple I knew bought all new stuff when they bought a new home -- not because none of their previous belongings fit/worked in their new home, but because she said, "isn't that just when you do when get a aother home?" and althought it was formed at a question it was clearly a statement about what she thought was fact. "Everyone does it, that's just how it's done."

everything looks better with a kitty on it.

I just coughed up a fur ball.

Have to admit, too, that I am getting a little fed up with the "I found it in a thrift store so it must be great" mentality. But I do love those stools.

I think the fact that they are still with you speaks to their multi-function, their flexibility. But guess what? You can buy stuff that does that in new furniture stores, too! ;)

I'm 45 and still have many things I got right out of college. What's gone by the wayside are the cheap "filler" furnishings -- the particleboard bookshelves, the crappy make-do couch, etc. I replaced them with better pieces as I was able to. But the antique Shaker chair (my first "real" antiques purchase), the textiles I bought in Central America, the paintings by friends, my grandmother's china -- all those things are still here. They're what make it "home."

Great post and comments!

Kimg924, I know a couple who did exactly what your acquaintances did...it's sad, because their house feels totally impersonal and sterile.

I think what a lot of us respond to positively in many of the house tours posted is the "layering" of years of life into a place (like the cottage of the 89-year-old lady a few months ago). When spaces are too stripped down or devoid of personal touches they get a cold museum quality that doesn't always look inviting. I think as we get older we will want to be surrounded by things that have personal meaning to us or stories to tell.

On a related note, I moved this summer to a house half the size of my old one. One of the things that HAD to move with us was an antique mahogany 3/4 bed that was my great-grandmother's. But we didn't have a spare bedroom to put it in any more. Much to my surprise, my 11-year-old daughter asked to have it in her room--she had never even liked it before--and we have spent the past few months decorating around it. A girly chandelier hanging over it, a fluffy white rug, and a pretty shirred duvet cover and pillow shams--plus giant throw pillows to make the bed look more like a daybed--have turned the room into a haven that she loves far more than her old room. And she has learned an important lesson--that not everything has to look like it came from the pages of PB Teen!

I think a truly great home has heirloom quality pieces in it. I love it when you enter a home and it looks like they've spent years collecting pieces and building a look that suits them. It actually really bothers me when I see a place that looks like it was furnished in a single shopping spree.