apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

I absolutely love living by myself. It is peaceful and private and I do what I want when I want, and people are always a phone call away.

Love it. 1982 couldn't have been that lean a year for Jobs, though. Those Magnepan speakers are pricey.

When I first moved into my own apartment, as I unpacked I would put all of my toiletries to one side of the bathroom cabinet. I kept thinking I needed to leave space for a roommate. Then I'd remember that the entire apartment was mine and I could spread out. When I put things away in the kitchen I'd pause wandering if my roommate would like the location. And again, I'd remember the space was all mine. I made all the rules. And there was freedom in that. I'd recommend reading, "Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui," by Karen Kingston. I read that before I moved into my own space and it made a huge different in how I treated my home.

I also wrote a post called, "Creating Sacred Space," about the joys I discovered in living alone.

http://sociologyofsheena.blogspot.com/2009/06/creating-sacred-space-year-in-review.html

Relish every moment. I loved living by mysef and truly believe everyone should experience it. It's also great having total control over your space. I live with my boyfriend now and although it is great (I was so nervous about that punge), sometimes I do miss those days of just sitting in silence and enjoying a cup of tea for as long as I want.

Halloween will be my one year anniversary of me living alone for the first time – already I’m wondering if I’m starting to get set in my ways, and how I’ll be able to transition back into sharing a space again when I get married. There are some pretty awesome things about living alone.

1)Everything from décor, to food, to exactly how clean you keep things is at your pleasure. Freeeeedom!
2)You don’t have to share a bathroom. I grew up with brothers – this is AMAZING.
3)No one eats your food, uses your expensive beauty products, or washes your cashmere sweater with the bath towels

But – there are some things to watch out for.

1)Getting sick: be ready. I was stuck last winter with back-to-back bouts of the flu (twice in one month). I had no medicine, no soup, no thermometer, no ginger ale, and no one to take care of me. I keep home made chicken soup in the freezer, and a stocked medicine shelf in the bathroom now.
2)Make sure there are good grocery stores/farmers markets in the area. I didn’t before I moved in, and it’s made shopping for one person even more challenging than it has to be.
3)Buy a good tool kit – it’s so much nicer to know that when something goes wrong you have what it takes to fix it.

The hardest thing for me to adjust to has been cooking for one. I grew up cooking, but it was for a big family – my first couple months on my own I threw away so much food it was terrible. I did find a couple of things that helped though:

1)Cheap meats are usually sized for families not single people: buy that pork shoulder roast and make a week of meals out of it. Roasted with potatoes one day, pulled pork sandwiches the next, then spicy pork tacos etc. On the flip side cook a big family style meal, eat one serving, and freeze individual servings of the rest. You can build up a lot of healthy, home made meals this way for quick week night dinners without waste.
2)Rank your veggies: baby greens and other delicate veggies get eaten the day you shop, cauliflower and squashes right before you go grocery shopping again – this way you don’t end up letting things go bad. (Buy those green veggie bags! They help!)
3)Put your bread in the fridge – you won’t eat it fast enough to keep the mold away if you leave it out.
4)Buy a convection bake toaster oven.
5)Don’t run out of eggs.

Here's what I've started doing for lunch and dinner: Cook a large enough portion for two for dinner, pack up half of it for lunch and eat the other half for dinner.

Also, a slow-cooker is a good thing. It's nice walking in to a hot meal, especially if you have to eat alone after a long day.

Everyone should live alone at least at one point in life. It is massively underrated and as the first comment states, friends are only a phone call away.
I found living alone a relief after having lived with so many co-students, etc who I would never have befriended had I been left to my own devices. I thought I would be lonely but in fact, the most loneliness I ever felt was while I was co-habiting with people whose names I can (thankfully) no longer remember.
Throwing out food is the worst aspect. Advice: learn to make the most of your freezer; cook smaller portions and when having failed both of the above, INVITE FRIENDS/FAMILY OVER TO EAT WITH YOU. Lots of people love last minute invites to help empty the pot.

I agree that for food, make full family sized portions of things that can freeze to avoid the temptation to order out or pick up fast food. Make a lasagna or full pan of burritos. Buy large portions of chicken breasts and chop them up immediately into cubes to freeze into individual meal sized portions. They can defrost in a pan with a little water while you prep other items. And the one thing that is always sold in single portions is fish from the market - when I lived alone the salmon steak was a frequent meal. I always found that a bottle of red wine was hard to drink, though, before it started to turn...

Oh, and some safety tips: Give a copy of your key to a trusted friend or hide it somewhere REALLY good (and switch up the location every once in awhile), install a chain lock and peephole if you don't already have one and use them whenever you answer the door, put a low watt light on a timer near the entrance or visible from a window.

great ideas here.
mlleErica, the tip about being prepared in case of illness is really good, i had the same experience as you with being sick and unprepared.
granola, enjoyed your ideas and your site, and if the courtyard photo is an indication then your place must be lovely.

@home body -- the wine thing is so true! I've scouted out a lot of good beers because of that, or found myself making wine sauces and stews to use it up.

Re: wine, some decent varieties are starting to make smaller bottles in a 4-pack. There's usually a small selection at supermarkets, but you can get some very nice varieties online.

Invest in some good meal-sized containers and cook recipes in the regular four-person amounts, then freeze them. I even did this a lot when I first got married. We were working different shifts and so often cooking for one at a time. It is SO nice to have good food you like ready to go at a moment's notice and you don't end up wasting food.

Just avoid a lot of recipes with potatoes - they don't tend to freeze well.

Pyrex single serving containers for freezing meals. Never cook for one.

French press.

I don't enjoy living alone when the person I love and live with for half the year is away for the other half being a rock star. Not fun.

And I would say get pets. A couple cats or a dog if you don't already have them and you live alone.

I loved living alone. There is nothing like being able to sit with your own thoughts and take take stock of yourself. There is also nothing like having everything just the way you want it and not worrying if it will be there when you get back. I made the mistake of taking back my roomate who had gone to live in London for a year and almost immediately I regretted it. She was my best friend, but she was not a nester, could care less (she would clean but couldn't cook and had no interest in decor at all). We ended up buying separate condos a few doors away from each other two years later and that was a huge relief. Even now, married, I have some alone space in the house; I need time to regroup at the end of a long day.

I'll be living alone again while my husband goes off to work on his degree. We did it for a year already and this will be round two after him being back all summer and fall.

Being alone has its ups and downs. This time around I'm most concerned about security. I was lucky nothing happened to me before. I'm not in a great location, and since I rent I'm not really in a position to install a security system. Any ideas? Should I buy a sword and keep it by my bed? ;)

I live alone. I love living alone.
BUT.

Seeing this picture makes me hate my apartment, and makes me hate how hard I work on my apartment and all of the money I spend trying to make it look nice.

I think I'm having a bit of an existential crisis about things. And about having things. And about feeling like I should not need things to be happy.

Sigh. Anyone else feel the same?

Living alone . . . there is no better way. Peace. Complete freedom. And I have soooo never had Homebody's trouble finishing red wine . . . :-P For cooking advise, remember you can make a single serving of noodles. You can stir fry just the amount of veggies you want right then. I do that kind of meal a lot. I don't know. I'm so fully immersed and in love with living solo I would need advise about how to live differently. The other commenters, and my mom, are very right about being stocked with stuff for if you get sick so you can hunker down in your fortress for a while.

That photo might have been taken when Jobs was living very bare inside the, now very controversial, Jackling House which he purchased in the early 80s:
http://www.appleinsider.com/articles/09/04/29/inside_steve_jobs_abandoned_jackling_mansion_photos.html

On living by one's self, this is also my first time as well. I was a bit nervous at first letting my imagination run wild about health emergencies, fires, break-ins, and gigantic spiders (my roommate used to take care of them - though not very well, it usually involved throwing duct tape or a mallet - followed by girlish, but manly, screams from two guys).

The pros of the situation revealed themselves pretty quickly though. It's a relief not having to say, "No no, I think your puffy recliner is just incredible, really incredible, but, hear me out on this, it would totally look better against that wall - in your sister's house."

Everything else is just a personal learning curve. You'll cook too much, buy too much, etc. Eventually, you'll even it all out. Invite good people over. If you've got a TV habit, ease off it a bit and try relaxing with music and a good book. Eat out on your balcony if you've got one. I think the key to it all though, is get in friendly with good neighbors, and it'll be like having the best kind of roommate, the one you'll never walk in on naked.

I lived on my own - studio, then small 1 BR - for several years after college and before getting married. Didn't have/think of many of the tricks suggested here, so many good ideas, other than I did get a cat (much easier to take care of than a dog if there's only 1 of you and you have a fairly typical single life of late nights and the occasional overnight at the last minute, as I did). I'm married to a person who has the same relative neatness level as I do and who shares the laundry & cooking/meal preparation equally, which is good, and as soon as we could afford it we insisted on dual vanities in the bathroom! There are still times, however, when I crave the "alone time" that I had when I was single and am not unhappy when he's away traveling as that's when I can live according to my schedule and do all the reading that I don't do when he's around because he's a big TV watcher. Anyway, one other suggestion besides the cat - I recently read a review of Judith Jones' new book (she was Julia Child's editor) called The Pleasures of Cooking for One. It sounds like a really great book that has both an approach to cooking for one and enjoying it as well as workable recipes, and the reviews indicate that it's not too fancy or highbrow for less experienced cooks.

I absolutely love living alone! To the point I'm a little worried about getting married (someday) and having to share space again. I've been living on my own for 6 years now.
Security-I made friends with a nice family who lives across the hall from me in my building when I first moved in. I observed them for a little bit first, but they now have a copy of my key and I know they keep an eye out for me. Invest in a chain lock and decent deadbolt, too.
Food-soups, stews and roasts are all easy enough to make and freeze well. I will share meals with nearby friends (gets rid of that extra food and provides some familial togetherness). I usually spend a good chunk of sunday doing chores around the house and cooking (and screaming at the Giants playing football on TV). Look into foods that freeze well because there have been times when it's so nice to open that freezer and see a few cups of pasta sauce after a long day.
Loneliness-I watch tv while I eat (I make my plate and put away the food before I sit down to avoid overeating) most of the time. I am trying to get off the tv habit and have taken to listening to NPR and pandora radio to keep me company. Learning to be comfortable being totally alone takes time but is so worth it!

Christine

Young Steve Jobs makes me hot.

I lived mostly alone for many years--this post brought back memories. Here's a response for the wine problem:
Vacu Vin wine saver--only $12 and it sucks the air out of the bottle which makes the wine last much longer. Works great.
I loved cooking just for me--I invented one dish after another, mostly with unusal veggies. (Book "Uncommon Fruits and Vegetables" has shopping and cooking ideas) Find a grocery or famers market where food is not prepackaged. When I bought meat, I would repackage it as soon as I got home from the store into single servings and freeze those.
Have fun!

I agree with the person who said to get a pet. Having a pet is like having a roommate without any of the negatives (except the litter box). They sleep half the day and are thrilled and eternally grateful to you for merely giving them half a cup of food. When you come home from a long day at work they don't pester you with conversation. It's great!

I found it hard to adjust to cooking for one also. I love to cook, so I guess I got used to it quicker than some people. But I love to bake and don't eat a ton of sweets and I was accustomed to living with family or roommates who would eat up everything I baked within a matter of hours. I never had to "eat it up" to avoid it going bad. Now I have to bake half portions.

I love living alone - It's been so freeing.

Yes, spend your weekend evenings making things like lasagne, Chicken Cacciatore or Pot Roast w/ Garlic Mashed Potatoes and freeze the leftovers: Your co-workers will be so jealous when you warm up the homemade leftovers and they're spending $10 on a cold deli sandwich.

Don't be afraid of the unusual: If you feel like eggs benedict and grapefruit for dinner or putting your bed in the livingroom and making the bedroom a posh dressing room/office, then that's what you should do.

Get to know your neighbors and have your close friends on speed dial. If you are seriously sick or need help getting to the ER, don't be afraid to pick up the phone and ask - and do the same for them: People genuinely want to be needed when something serious happens: That's why they're called "Friends".

I love living alone! I grew up in a big family and always had at least 3 roommates in college so it was a bit of a transition when I moved out on my own. Now that I'm used to it, I love it! I think it's something everyone should do at some point in their life.
I agree with the minor drawbacks others have mentioned - Having to deal with spiders on my own is something I've had to learn about. I don't have that courageous roommate around anymore that would be willing to catch the hairy spider on top of the refrigerator! Also, being sick alone stinks. I've tried to always be prepared for that though - having extra medicine and good tissues around just in case.

I've been living alone for almost three years now, and I absolutely love it. The freedom to do whatever I want with my space is just wonderful, especially after living with two guys who wouldn't let me decorate the living room! (Luckily, I had my own lofted living area to myself)

Like teacupcake, though, I'm starting to think that just have too many things for a single person, which only gets reinforced whenever I move. I'm trying to strike a balance between having a comfortable nest and getting rid of things I don't need, which is getting really difficult.

I've also started getting more involved in cooking for one, now that I've moved past rice-a-roni and hamburger helper. Fresh produce is always the hardest for me, as I usually end up throwing out at least half of what I bought. I recently learned that you can freeze fresh herbs (including green onions) in ice cube trays for later use, and you can freeze leftover wine (for cooking). I'm trying out different single-serving cookbooks, as my little freezer can't handle too many family-sized meals.

Like many of the other posters, at this point I don't think I could handle living with roommates again. I just love living alone so much!

I’ll agree with others that living solo is the best opportunity to discover what you like and having the freedom to do what you want to do without consulting others. It’s a great opportunity to decorate how YOU want not considering others - Like florals? go for it. Really want to paint your room pink? why not? Do what makes you happy and relish the moment.

I agree with the commenter above who said the biggest adjustment was cooking/grocery shopping for one. I definitely agree with putting the bread in the fridge - i LOVE bread and even I can’t eat it all by the expiry date. Put it in the fridge and it’ll last longer.

Some additional tips...
- I go grocery shopping every other week. If it’s not in a can - I only buy what I can finish in about 10 days. That means I don’t buy a ton of veggies and fruits - they’ll spoil.
- Meat lasts longer than the expiry date - months longer - as long as you freeze it. I buy family size (when on sale) put it in freezer safe bags and freeze ‘em...it lasts a LONG time.
- Though it’s a small space I have a bit of a ‘storage cabinet’ (one cupboard I set aside). When box/canned items are on sale I stock up a bit - every now and then you’ll crave something quick and simple like macaroni and cheese or (dare i say) instant noodles. I even have chocolate and vanilla pudding...
- Unless you use a lot of milk (coffee, baking etc.) buy the smaller cartons - you’ll never finish the huge ones before the expiry date. Or buy lactose-free (which is what I have to drink) the plus side is the expiry date tends to be longer than that of ‘regular’ milk.
- Buy your spices & seasonings at a bulk store. That way you buy just what you need (I fill little spice jars) and it stays fresh.
- When I don’t make small portions I cook the regular family size portions and freeze/refrigerate the rest. Perfect example - I’m literally (as of today) still eating a whole roast chicken I made on Saturday. Last night I used the breast in a salad, today I’ll put some on a sandwich for lunch....maybe some soup for dinner....much cheaper than ordering fast-food.

Also, just because you live along don’t become a hermit (unless you really want to). Invite friends and family over to hang out or for dinner/movies. Go over to friends and bring something along that you cooked with your new found skills!

whew - that was a lot to type...maybe i’ll come back later and post on security...i have tons of tips about that too...

Definitely adopt a cat. Mine keeps me company, takes care of bugs and mice, and acts as a snooze button. He's perfect.

@teacupcake: I DEFINITELY empathize. I think the photo just understands the fact that it's crucial to have "good bones" to work with, and that whole "less is more" ideology. For me, it's zen-like to think about scenes like this when I'm stressing that I think I NEED NEED NEED an $1800 coffee table, which is healthy for my savings account.

*underscores, not understands. :?

i've never lived alone...i'd love to know what's it's like to live in a space where my preferences alone are honored.

I've never lived alone either....had roommates, then married at a young age, and now divorced with young kids.

Seeing this pic of Mr. Jobs makes me envious, that kind of simplicity. I am overwhelmed with stuff - stuff in storage from the move from house to apt...stuff in a relatives garage from when my mom died and I got ALL of it (even though I don't see it, I know it's there and needs to be dealt with, which is often in the back of my mind - and a lot of it is expensive stuff, worth something so that I don't want to just drop it at Goodwill). Kids and I packed into an apt where we can't spread out.

I wouldn't give up the chaos of kids for anything in the world, but seeing a picture like this makes me wish all the things I have (in storage especially) could be whittled down to just a few.

I absolutely love living alone. Perhaps the adjustment was easier for me since I am an only child and never had the hustle and bustle of siblings/a large family to "unlearn" when I got my own place.

A roommate would be huge adjustment for me namely because of one big issue: the television. So many people my age (mid-20's) grew up in front of the television, and I've seen in friend's homes and from boyfriends spending lots of time at my home that it's very hard for a lot of people to be home for an extended period of time without the TV on.

Having a place to myself means that I can keep the TV off for as long as I like.

a lot of rec's above to cook large portions and freeze foods...

my rec: don't live beyond the space allotted... including your freezer space!

When I lived alone, I cooked a lot and froze a lot. In the end, many items got burried in the back, got freezer burn, and had to be pitched. My freezer was overfilled.

cook what you need for the week. cook every 2-3 days and eat the leftovers without freezing them all of the time. Stock a few choice bags of frozen veggies, and some eggs, pasta, and canned goods for moments when you have few ingredients for a meal. If you want to capitalize on the bulk meat deals, cook half, freeze half, with the intention of cooking the 2nd half the following week.

as for decorating, buy what you like, not what you think people expect to see in your apartment. Enjoy the peace and quiet. Invite friends over often....

creativeintheory- Thanks for the link to the Jackling Mansion photos. Those were amazing!

I can't think of any time I've ever had a problem finishing a bottle of wine.

-buy a flashlight

-have a series of housewarming dinners with different sets of friends (especially helpful in a smaller apartment)

-don't forget the silly things like renter's insurance, updating your address, etc...

-plan your meals! It's REALLY hard the first week...but it will get easier, I promise! It also lets you plan to make new recipes and make sure you have the ingredients on hand for when you make it

-use Pyrex storage containers: http://www.shopworldkitchen.com/index.asp?pageID=231&upc=71160036093

-first aid kit and a thermometer

The best part of cooking for yourself is that you can experiment and mess up and no one can complain about it. Ditto for living alone in general. No accountability to anyone else.

Another thing that makes cooking for yourself easier is to get good food storage containers (I use Pyrex) and use them to store portions of chopped veggies and cooked chicken, etc. in the fridge. If you have pantry basics like stock, eggs, grains (like rice or quinoa) spices, etc. around, then it's easy to whip together a quick weeknight meal without much effort. A lot of nights, I'll just cook some grains, add the veggies, an egg and whatever seasonings I like and that's it. It's fast and healthy and a nice change from eating frozen leftovers.

I live alone currently after several years of tough (not hard) times. And I not only LOVE it, I adore it. I crave it. There is nothing I want more than to come back to my quiet and nicely decorated apartment and be alone. I do what I want, when I want without any of the tremendous guilt I used to feel with roommates or live-in partners. One can be as productive or sloth-like as you wish with no one to scold or reprimand you. I hate being on other people's timetables, especially at home, since the rest of my life is on someone else's schedule. It is freeing and made me as happy as I've ever been. Can't imagine ever giving that up again. Relationship? Sure it'll happen again. Live-in partner? No way. We'll be keeping separate places!

I can't imagine living with another person. I've lived alone for years. I've always had trouble with relationships, and I think a lot of that had to do with my need to be by myself. I used to feel trapped and resentful, and I think I ruined some relationships just so the guy would get out and leave me alone.

I now have a great relationship and we each keep our own houses, choosing to spend time together when we want...not just because the other person happens to be around. It works perfectly for me. I'm so lucky to have found a guy who feels like I do and can't stand the "joined-at-the-hip" syndrome of so many couples.

P.S. Hey, Grace: your friend just earned her master's. With an apostrophe. As in master's degree? You friend is the master, if you will, of her subject. Just thought I'd mention it...

Tip1: make a local apartment dumpster tour at 4am the last two days of each month

I used to haul the coolest experiments home early in the morning. I'd throw on some coffee and low music, break open the waterless cleaner or paint, and have a great time without worrying that my activities would disturb anyone.


Tip2: learn to use the butcher/deli - they will give you enough for one person; you don't have to buy three whole chicken breasts at a shot.


Tip3: teacup hook screwed in over the entryway light switch

It's where you hang your keys when you come in and it's where you'll find your keys when you leave.


Tip4: Keep microwave popcorn handy

I have always had neighbors who were into 'adventures in good eating or smoking'. The odors seep into your space. Have countermeasures ready. Microwave popcorn masks more skunky smells.

the joy of coming home, disappearing, melting in a way...and no small talk or others' inconsiderations

This post and all the comments about living single are reinforcing the festering desire I've had to strike out on my own (the feeling has been fermenting for the past several months)... However, I'm primarily concerned it'd be WAY too expensive to do given the current rental climate in my city, and my status as a penniless student... But my relationship and lack of complete independence has been grating my nerves.
Oh, how nice the sweet solitude of aloneness seems right now...

If you like to cook for lots of people, entertain! You'll have leftovers for yourself, and probably a lot of dinner invitations in return. You might even consider co-hosting dinners with a friend, and splitting the grocery costs.

I love that AT has delved into this topic. I think everyone in this world should live alone at least for a year. It's amazing what you find out about yourself...like that maybe you weren't so perfect after all. I figured out that I actually DID drink the milk that fast - I apologize to my former roommate for accusing her of taking it! You also get to fine-tune your own internal clock, watch Oprah when it's 2 am, listen to embarrassing music at full blast, walk around naked, come in drunk without having to be quiet....oh the list can go on. I seriously have a theory that couples who have lived on their own, by themselves, will stay married longer. I have no scientific evidence, but I'm convinced of it!

That being said, I agree with the previous posters, and might want to tack on my own:
1. Being Sick sucks when you live alone. As already mentioned, it sucks. But look at it as a way to be with yourself for a couple days and embrace the flaws. Don't freak out if the snot rags get left on the coffee table, just take care of yourself. I agree with the chicken soup, wish I'd have thought of that.
2. ALWAYS have someone to check on you regardless of health or illness. I'm paranoid that I'll get kidnapped on a Friday, and no one will know until Monday when I don't show up at work. Just have someone who looks to make sure you've logged onto Facebook, who checks in with you, etc. Your mother will thank you.
3. I agree - Invite people over to combat the "cooking for one" problem. You NEED interaction, and it's easy to fall into isolation.
4. That being said, there's a THOUSAND good cookbooks for cooking for one. I have several.
5. Get to know your landlord and neighbors. You never know when you might need them. I had a neighbor see a man at my front door for a weird amount of time, then she called me to see if I was ok - I wasn't expecting anyone and didn't hear anyone at the door, so she immediately called the police. If I hadn't had known her, she'd have thought he was just a friend of mine. And the proverbial cup of sugar lent to a neighbor really does go a long way.
6. I agree with the previous posters - get a pet. When I went through a very bad breakup, I lived by myself. I didn't want to get out of bed for months at a time, but my faithful beagle had to pee, on schedule, every day, so I had to get moving. If it weren't for him, I hate to think how far I'd have sunk. Humans need interaction, but thankfully, a dog or a cat will do in a pinch!

I'm a college student and I've been living alone for a couple of months now. I love the idea that my apartment is my blank canvas and I can do whatever I want with it! I love eating dinner, sitting on the ground at the coffee table, right in front of the TV. There is something about it that relaxes me. I've really become more independent and think its important for people to live by themselves at one point!

I love living alone so much that it actually scares me when I think that I may have to share my space with someone else if I get married or have kids. There is nothing like walking in the door and stripping down to whatever I feel like. I don't have to be "decent" for anyone else.
As for cooking, I can't cook small meals, so I cut down on the amount I cook during the week and eat out occasionally. Whatever is left over, will hit the freezer if I don't feel like eating it.
I agree with whomever said that everyone should live by themselves for at least a year. There is nothing like learning to be comfortable in your own skin. It's a beautiful thing.

O.M.G. How you people love to give advice! WHen I read the author's (blogger's?) initial comments I thought
1) WTF are you talking about, "lean years", look at the house he was living in!
2) oh how childish! She makes it sound like it is a scary challenge, even a rarity. Statistically, that later bit just ain't so.
Why all these 'tips' on pyrex and tuperware and chains on the door? SHouldn't she embrace her new status and discover all these things for herself? WHy are you trying to suffocate this poor girl with trivial minutiae?

@kushkush --

First off, she asked for advice.

Second, just because something's not a rarity doesn't mean it's not a challenge. Most people get married at some point in their lives and yet no one denies that can be both scary and challenging -- and everyone has a good word of advice and encouragement for the new bride and groom.

Third, Maybe *you* learn best by hard knocks, but why should she have to reinvent the wheel? I wish someone had warned me to stock my medicine chest, or helped me figure out how to keep my grocery bill down when I first got out on my own. And even though I’ve been on my own for awhile now, I’m planning on using some of the tips I read here. Seriously – take a chill pill.

Quick question about freezing already cooked items... how do you defrost them? in a microwave or with water? I'm afraid they will come out weird and un-edible, haha. I'm not a great cook to begin with but not having to throw stuff out would be great. This is a good article especially bc I will be living alone in 5 months (when my lease is up) and I am SO EXCITED! I have not had the best luck with roommates...

kushkush - Calm down! There are some excellent tips here, some that I plan on using implementing as well and that despite my years of solitary bliss, have never thought of. If only ONE person walks away from this entry having learned something, I'd call it a pretty good day.

And living alone IS scary for a lot of people. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

I personally have really appreciated this post... even if I do not live alone yet, I plan on doing so and want it to be and efficient and easy transition! The advice here is great and I intend on passing it on to some of my already solitary pals.

@staceymccon: I always defrost precooked meals in water, on the counter, in the oven, or stove top. I get worried about things in the microwave.

I love it when I live alone... only thing that bugs me a bit is the notion that one can only take time to make an apartment nice, cook fancy meals etc when it's for Other People. Surely you're worth every bit as much love and attention as any other soul on earth?

Enough people (especially, but not exclusively, women) have a martyr complex without needing reinforcement of their notions that living alone = living monastically, in stark surroundings and eating from cracked plates - yet it's something I've noticed many people do when they have no significant other/flatemates to care for.

Thank you very much for this post! I know I'll be setting off on my own in a few months and these are really great tips! It's also very reassuring--rationally, I know I can handle it, but there's always a tiny bit of doubt.

I've only started living alone as of this summer but I have found some things that work, and some things that don't.

The very very first room I decorated and got set up was the bathroom. It's the smallest room and I had everything up and ready to go by the time I took my shower the night I moved in. This helped the following few days when I was living out of boxes in every other room, I at least had one room where there weren't any boxes and it felt put together. Second, if you're starting from scratch on every piece of furniture and decoration. Start with curtains. It's amazing how much they do to transform 4 white walls into something homey. Also, but a few boxes of your favorite macaroni and cheese (or whatever cheap and easy meal you can store for months at a time). This comes in handy when you're living paycheck to 3 days before paycheck and the cupboards and fridge are getting a little low on supplies. It also helps as a backup meal when you get sick, or feel like not doing anything that day - including cooking.

I've lived alone for most of my adult life (I'm 45 now) and frankly I'm not sure I know how to live any other way anymore.

Listen to the many people who are suggesting that you invite people over. Do it often. There's a danger of your home becoming something of a fortress if you become too comfortable in your isolation.

Your home should be your castle (if not your fortress) and you should treat it as such. Splurge on the things that make you happiest at home. Whether that's awesome cookware or a lamp that fits your aesthetic sense or that special tea that makes you happy but might be a little on the spendy side, do what it takes to make your home all about YOU.

Finally, leave home occasionally. Travel, even if it's on your own. Nothing makes you appreciate home quite as much as being away from it from time to time.

I adore living alone. It is all the more sweeter after years of ill-fated roommates and co-habitation.

I sign on to the tupperware, cat, and deadbolt advice. I bought some pepper spray, too.

Choose scents and colors that are exactly what you want. Arrange and rearrange things as you wish. Then enjoy!

Living alone is bliss! I used to love sharing and had, for the most part enjoyed living with some great people but the past 7-8 years were spent having to share with some of the worst people I've ever come across. I've been in my (MY!!!) new home for 6 months now. I no longer live in fear, have no need to lock everything I own, or myself, in my bedroom, or store my food in the fridge at work (except for my lunchbox!), and I'm no longer financing other tenants overseas excursions/wardrobes/dinner parties/lifestyles or film-making careers, by covering their share of the bills (if I hadn't been forced to do that, I'd have been able to save up and move out of that living hell years ago...or atleast go on holiday myself!).

Living by yourself may seem more expensive but, in my case at least, it's a whole lot cheaper and it's not at the cost of my health or happiness either!

Paladin, I have to say, whether I am in my home or out of it, there isn't a single moment when I don't appreciate what I have - It's simply too precious!! ;)

A great book on this is "Alone in the Kitchen with an Eggplant" - lots of essays on living alone and what was eaten, including recipes. I think this was reviewed on the kitchn site at some point. Great read.

After a few years of going through with unpredictable sharemates, I finally ended up with living by myself from this year, but I find myself getting sick of being alone most of the time these days. Of course, initially I loved to be alone, appreciating such an absolute freedom - esp. when I could be around my flat in pyjamie all the day and pasta out of a sauce-pan, but I come to conclude I'm not a sort of person who copes with being alone very well all the time for a long period of time. I prefer to have someone around me to share something in life. But, when it becomes so hard to find a right person to live with....

1. Ditto put a lamp on a timer. Mine turns on and off in the am and evening, so I never feel that I'm coming home to an "empty place."
2. I put my radio on a timer in the living room to put some automatic "life" into my place.
3. Plan for sickness by picking good takeout and a supermarket that delivers.
4. Clean your apartment before you go away for a trip. It will feel neat and welcoming when you return.

Living alone is absolute BLISS!!!! I got divorced /- 5 years ago and have been living by myself since. As time goes by I appreciate it more and more...

While I definitely prefer living sans roommates, I agree with bobejina....it can be depressing every once in a while, especially when all your friends start moving in with or marrying their soulmates, like all my friends seem to be doing right now. (My secret condolence is that half of them will probably be divorced in another 5 to 10 years.)

For me, the trick to enjoying the single life involves staying very busy socially. When I keep my schedule packed with business events, social functions, or even just the gym, I tend to enjoy my solitary moments even more.

Regarding food, I think it's inevitable that you'll end up throwing away some stuff. I've resorted to eating more frozen and canned foods (and takeout) than I would like, but at least I can eat them at my convenience, particularly with that busy schedule I mentioned.

Organic milk! Whether you're an organic foodie or not, I swear organic milk lasts like 100x longer. I never throw out milk anymore, and I used to dump it constantly.

I so adore living alone that it was a big identity shift for me when I broke my 8 year streak and moved in with my now husband. I love him, love living with him, it is a great life - just a very, very different life. He encouraged me to take over the living room to have just as my space where I work at home, have room for all of my art supplies, and can curl up on a couch with a phone in my hand and talk to my girlfriends for hours just like the good old days. I'm a really independent woman and in the midst of our interwoven lives, I just like having a room of my own.

Advice for living alone: any easy system for making my place "guest ready". Living alone, my place was at the whimsy of whatever mood I was in that day and not always viewable for guests. It is not that it was always messy but it was just whimsical. If I felt like creating a make-shift reclining area on the floor in a patch of sunlight with comforters and couch pillows, I did. I had a system down in which I could tidy up for visitors in a about ten-minutes and make it look presentable.

My daughter decided to live alone when she went on to graduate school and her roomie went directly into a job. It was difficult to live with someone who had free evenings and weekends while she still had coursework and research to do.

These comments are great reasons why some people choose to live alone, but only one person has touched on what a lot of people are missing out on: the companionship which comes from having a friend or loved one living with you. The best part of my day is when my boyfriend and I sit on the couch after work to "decompress"...we tell each other about our day, the bad and the good, and it's very cathartic. I also used to do this with my old roommates. Not only do you feel closer, but you're basically getting free therapy! lol Sure you can call up a friend or go to someone's house, but it's so much more comfortable to sit on your couch in your comfy clothes, which some people might not feel right about doing with someone they don't live with. It's also way more fun to watch movies, cook, decorate, listen to music, and eat with another person. Plus it makes the chores easier! Of course there are times when I crave solitude.. and I get it when my boyfriend is at work and I have the day off (like today) or when he's got some other arrangements. It's a nice mix of company and alone-time. I'm not saying that living alone is bad; but unfortunately it can get very lonely, and people aren't jumping through hoops to come over all the time just because you are home by yourself; they have their lives too. There is just a lot to be said of sharing your life and space with someone (or people.)