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Actually, not so much. I did not find this a "fun and kitschy way to laugh and reflect on gender differences". Perhaps it is because I am finishing up a graduate level Education class on Diversity and Inclusion for which my final project is an examination of gender issues as influenced by cultural factors, but this post totally bugs me.

This "Simpsons" bit is funny. Marge is Marge and Homer is Homer, part of the humor of the joke comes from knowing these characters. And, yes, some of the humor comes from how it relates to the stereotypes of what men and women want.

But part of the humor of this bit was, for me, diminished because of the context of being on Apartment Therapy. Today alone there were multiple posts that reflect the design savvy and care of men. AT was created by a man.

I'm not asking any poster to censor what they find amusing or noteworthy, but since Rebecca tacitly put out the question of whether we readers find this amusing (by saying she hopes we do), I have to say unequivocally: no.

every joke has some truth! My boy has told me countless times that he doesn't need all of the things I feel (want) we need. He also loves his video game system. At least our electronics department is taken care of...

*yawn. Get over yourself.

I thought it was a little corny, but yes the overall idea was cute.

phoneill: considering the team here in LA is dominated by a team of extremely talented women, many of our sites are managed by women, a great deal of posts written from a female perspective, I think it's unfair to make this all about "AT was created by a man." There's a bit of gender discrimination inherent in that statement which seems hypocritical, all things considered. Sincerely, Just One of the Girls.

Woo-hoo! Aren't stereotypes just HILARIOUS???? How cutting edge of the Simpsons and good job AT for buying right into it.

I love the Simpsons and this episode sounds cute but I have to agree with phoneill on there being a sort of backhanded stereotyping to this post ;/ . I was hoping this post would have some sort of relevant content to AT - like how to make two different styles work but I guess not.

Wow. Somebody is taking themselves a mite seriously today, aren't we?

And I have to say, I think it's hilarious. Unfortunately, I did not get to see the episode... but I'm glad I got to see a short post on it here. We moved from an apartment that we had lived in for 5 or 6 years, to a house - finally. We were running out of space and all I dreamed about was a bigger kitchen, yard and proper studio. My boyfriend on the other hand, could only think about how he was going to trick out his man cave. And yes, he does refer to it as his man cave. So when I get to read something that can make me laugh out loud, well that's a good thing!

Stereotypes exist because stereotypes exist...

With that said... this was a pretty funny episode!!!

If one digs all the way down to the root of a cliche, one often finds a truth. I'm just saying.

Sure, not everyone matches up with this cartoon. It's a cartoon! But it's still funny.

wow people lighten up. AT is not saying that EVERY man is like this, and i would say that there are worst stereotypes in the world than "men dont care about good design or attractive decor"

It seems like the man cave is more acceptable among young men, college age or right out of college. I know I would hesitate to date a man over 30 who still hasn't grown out of inflatable furniture and gaming consoles. Just assuming that that's all men care about, and feeding that stereotype, creates a situation where men don't develop their own sense of style. They wait until they find a woman to make them grow up, at which point that woman designs their home exclusively to fit her sense of style.

I've been in homes of couples who tend to fit those stereotypes and I know I could never live like that. I would feel horrible sharing in a home with a boyfriend/husband where nothing of his is allowed outside of the man cave.

i think it's cute - i like to see all kinds of examples of home design in the media.

wow, call the sexualist police. send the author to the re-education camp immediately!

i love homer.

I know plenty of straight, macho men who are interested in cultivating an attractive well decorated space. The difference I find is that men tend to desire a fashionable space that directly communicates their status, while women generally tend to approach their personal space as an ongoing exercise in self expression.

I love the Simpsons and this is a great funny episode!

I love before and after posts! thanks for sharing this AT.

I liked the before better.

my brother once told me that he would furnish his first apartment for $50 at the nearest dollar store. he was 19 at the time. i dare to suspect he would still try this, never having lived alone. i keep waiting for the call to come decorate his bachelor pad for him. cb2, standby.

Stereotypes will never go away but it's up to us to decide how we use them. Things like this continue to perpetuate the gender stereotypes that already exist. I think the Simpsons bit would have been way more interesting if Homer tried to outdo Marge and did a better job than her.

My boyfriend and I just moved in together and he is surprisingly excited to decorate and make our place look nice. He is the only guy that I've dated who notices details and visual things in general so this is probably why he wants our place to looks nice.

Don't shoot the messenger people! Rebecca did say things like "a common view" and "many men," not 'GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL!' If it's really that upsetting to you, write to The Simpsons producers or all the other places you see sexism/stereotypes perpetuated today. Join an activist group, boycott products.. there's a lot more effective things to do than flame a blogger who did her best to be PC while presenting an idea whose humor is rooted in traditional gender roles.

Just laugh! It's pretty funny to see people interact in shared living space, regardless of gender.

"I think it's unfair to make this all about "AT was created by a man." There's a bit of gender discrimination inherent in that statement which seems hypocritical, all things considered."

I read phoneill's statement differently than you, gregory. I understood her to say that a site about home/home care/design etc., 'created by a man' was an ironic place for a post which perpetuates the notion that men decorate for, and crave, a 'man cave' whereas women are the true source of style, warmth and comfort in our homes.

People who say to lighten up and that stereotypes are there for a reason should remember that not so long ago we would hear the same type of responses to racial and ethnic stereotyping. It is because some people "take themselves too seriously" and speak up that these issues improve.

I think it would be nice if AT writers - regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, and race and ethnicity, would try to avoid perpetuating such stereotypes. The writers are the official voice of the blog.

The original episode might be funny because it is associated with specific characters and their mannerisms, and because it avoids blanket statements like "women have wonderful attention to detail" and "men are resourceful".

I was born in Europe, and among the people I knew there men and women both were interested in making their home look appealing. I've never seen a "man-cave" before I came to the States. So this perceived gender gap in decorating looks like nurture, not nature to me.

At the heart of it, is it wrong if men in great percentage harbour a desire to create spaces to fulfill masculine desires/interests, if just in a single room? I personally don't have any affinity for the typical "man cave" (and these rooms don't have to be inflatable furniture as some assume), but I also recognize the desire to have a personal space to call my own which isn't dictated by compromise, decor schemes and simply caters to the whims and pleasures of what makes me me. And my girlfriend respects that as much as I do with her preferences that may run in opposition to what I naturally gravitate to. It's those differences, as much as our similarities, that make our home together special. So we share a home, shaped it together, but we also give ourselves the freedom to retain the differences that attracted us to each other in the first place, including decor decisions. She respects my inner Homer, as much as my inner Marge. Equality doesn't come from denying truths, but recognizing them...even the uncomfortable ones. Also, being able to laugh at our follies, foibles and deficiencies as human beings of either sex helps both in appreciating The Simpsons and the intention of this post.

I'm a guy and I too do Not find it amusing. I think there are very few gender differences in designing one's space. We should not perpetuate any stereotypes, AT should know better. Some people care more about their homes more than others, some are male & some are female. This is offensive.

Boy, I sure am glad somebody reminded me of gender stereotypes today. I mean, I almost forgot how men and women were supposed to behave! I could have accidentally forgotten that men are supposed to be dull, overgrown children who just want to play with toys and women are supposed to be all soft and nurturing so the men don't have to be bothered to get up off their inflatable man-cave furniture! That's hilarious because it's true, right?

Phew. Good thing that was clarified. There's a real lack of media that reinforce the right way to be male or female.

*headdesk*

Quick! Turn on The Simpsons'! As if the writers heard you: Tonight's episode has Marge dating a guy who is über gender stereotype sensitive, criticizing lighthouses for their demoralizing and offensive shape...

racism and homophobia are out, but sexism is still in, everybody. take note as you design your spaces.

It's funny because it's true. Most women will decorate their personal spaces better than most men. Most women will like fresh flowers and soft furnishings while most men will be attracted to gimmicks and high-tech toys. It's a mixture of brain wiring and cultural conditioning.

There are women who hate flowers and men who eschew techno gimmicks. They are in the minority. Saying "but I know this guy who's really into colour and design, so your stereotype is false" is not a logical argument. It just proves that you know one of the many exceptions to the rule.

"Equality doesn't come from denying truths, but recognizing them...even the uncomfortable ones."

One of those being that Homer concentrates on toys for himself and Marge saw to it that the baby's toy's were remembered in her space? ;)

firebird hit the nail on the head... nurture, not nature.

Absolutely, Blandwagon! Most men I know like to sit and sleep on very hard, cave-like furnishings. Beds and sofas are for girly girls and their flowers. It's in the brain! How dare the oversensitives dispute such an obvious claim with their silly evidence to the contrary!

Did you know that men have a special C482H receptor on their manly man chromosomes that makes them like cave-like rooms situated within larger dwellings that they instinctively protect from feminine influence? It's in the DNA! And the brain! I mean, just look at the bonobos! Or the Simpsons! It's evolutionary! Aren't gender roles wonderful? Nobody's ever been harmed by stereotypes, ever.

Thank you, Chester, for that satire of rationality. Most amusing.

P.S. Lay off the shoeshine.

Phoneill, your post is definitely a fun and kitschy way to laugh and reflect on graduate level Education students specialising in Diversity and Inclusion ;)

Nothing gets the comments flying faster than male vs female design stereotypes...or pink bathrooms.

Okay, back on topic.

Isn't beer and man-cave and gizmos an American stereotype?...but then Simpson's is American... oh well, looks like if you step out of one stereotype pothole, you fall into another.

Oh lighten up, people. Stuff like this on the Simpsons is meant to be mildly offensive as part of the humor. The Simpsons also features an Indian convenience store owner, a family so Christian that they're out of touch with mainstream culture, a Mexican actor who always dresses as a bumblebee no matter the role, a chief of police with a pig-snout-shaped nose....

Perhaps this overly intellectualized analysis of Marge and Homer's decor choices was a little goofy, but hardly inflammatory.

If you find this offensive, be sure not to watch Family Guy, South Park, Robot Chicken, Ren & Stimpy...

This topic makes me miss my old coffee table that my girlfriend (now wife) finally convinced me to get rid of after we lived together for a little over a year. It was a big white square (about 4'x4') and doubled as a dancefloor several times during my college years...man I loved that ugly thing.

The point is not that anyone finds the Simpsons offensive, everyone understands its a cartoon and its Homer's personality. The part I didn't like about this article was taking the show as a basic pattern that applies to men and women in general.

Personally I don't enjoy being compared to homer in any respect, and while I don't think this article is offensive, I think its a little disappointing for apt therapy. Articles like this one make the site seem less about individual creative expression and aesthetic appreciation of our surroundings, and bring it down to more a level of girls playing house.

Crazy! I JUST finished watching this episode on hulu, and then I opened up AT, only to see Marge and Homer again. I thought it was amusing.

Last night, I reorganized the furniture in my boyfriend's bedroom. This is a tough project for a strong anti-clutter advocate as my man has several messy hobbies (bicycles, computer hardware, espresso, ebay). I was very happy that he was open to my suggestions. "As long as I'll be able to find everything, you can organize it however you like." He's loving the new, more open space and how everything has a place now. Some men want a pretty, organized space, but don't have the tools (or girlfriends) to help them achieve it.

meowmineh.blogspot.com

As a woman- I'm offended that this article would imply I have attention to detail and great decorating sense!

Where are the Marges of the world who eat out of styrofoam boxes and put their feet up on milk cartons?

I'm disgusted.

My friends dad actually furnished his apartment with inflatable beer company and football team furniture when he was going thru a divorce. He saw nothing wrong with it and he wasn't trying to be ironic.
Whether you like sterotypes or not you need to get out of your politically correct world to see where these real or imagined truisms come from.

I enjoyed the laugh and people need to lighten up!

must have a small one.

Well, this is a funny thread. But I'll direct some serious thoughts to Phoneill, as I have myself completed graduate level work in gender theory. Phoneill, there are many, many thinkers who argue that gender impacts the way individuals perceive and frame experience. These thinkers may be feminist postmodernists like Luce Irigaray or Julia Kristeva, or phenomenologists like Susan Bordo, or psychologists like Carol Gilligan. Whoever they may be, they are describing what actually IS and not the world as they wish it would be. As the thread would attest, gender differences exist at the level of lived experience, i.e., men and women do NOT see the same things in the same way! That's why women will see a mess when men see a room that is perfectly neat, to use a familar example. To be open to these phenomenological differences - indeed, to study and document them rigorously -should not and does not suggest that feminine ways of being, knowing, and perceiving, are inferior. For reasons that may be oppressive, decorating is obviously one dimension of life where women's genius has historically been acknowledged. But there are other gender differences as well that do not equate to women's being less than men, simply different.

I think the Simpsons episode is hysterical.

How about we stop generalizing? Let's be honest, no one here knows "most men" or "most women". IF anything, "most men I know" works better. But the truth is that most men I know dont live in man caves and most women I know have an awful sense of style.

I dont really care for studies and theories because in the end that's all they are. In order for the phrase "most people" to be true would mean that over 3 billion people would have to have been subjected to these studies.

In other words...let's not take this too seriously.

I was not able to comment on this yesterday but was reading the comments and have this to say.

All stereotypes have an element of truth to them, the problem is it's painted in broad brush strokes to imply all are such when in fact, that's not really true at all.

When I was coming out, I had to break down stereotypes of what it meant to be gay which then gave me permission to be one myself and that was thin, pretty, hairless (that is clean shaven etc) when in fact, I am the opposite of that (true, not fat but still) as there are stereotypes on what it means to be a bear, a cub whatever as there are in what it means to be a woman or a man and there are A LOT of gays who are trying to uphold and live by those stereotypes, often for the wrong reasons and I"m sure some of you know one or two but that is not the topic here as much as the point is, stereotypes exist because of an element of truth is there, even if uncomfortable.

I remember as a kid asking my Mom is it's alright for men to cook as I wanted to learn how so I'd not be having to rely on boxed prepared foods for my dieet all the time and she assure me that it's perfectly fine as some of the finest chefs are men.

And while the Simpsons, Family Guy et-al do amp up those stereotypes, only to exagerate them as humor and perhaps hopefully get us to laugh at ourselves a little in the process. Today I can laught at myself for some of the assumptions I had when I went through my coming out process.

The point is, while the post did kind of play into the stereotypes and could've been thought out better, I did not find it offensive as some of the worst decorators are women and some of the best decorators are men and vice versa and I know some men who are just as nurturing as their woman counterparts, true some of them are gay but that's beside the point as there are woman who don't ave a nurturing bone in their body.

So it would behoove us all to take a lot of this with a grain of salt and learn to laugh at ourselves, even if the truch is a little painful.

I know the blog author didn't mean to provoke this response, and it was only meant as a light-hearted commentary. But:

Like many others, I'm a little tired of being told how men and women behave. Most studies show that there is a greater difference within the two groups than between them-ie. we are individuals first. I don't see the perpetuation of stereotypes as unharmful. Maybe I'm a little sensitive as I have a straight male friend who was beaten up, and now has a metal cheek, for 'acting gay' in the eyes of his attacker-but these are the things that lie behind all of us on here that are being "too sensitive" in the eyes of other commenters.

Stuff White People Like -- #101: Being Offended

I think that pretty much sums up my position here.

Totally agree with Jordan.
Stereotypes are the lies that tell the truth!

I'm a guy. I like Homer's room better. I'd prefer a wall mounted flat screen and a leather deep buttoned couch, but he's on the right track. Homer and Marge are both sitting in the most comfortable spot in their respective rooms. I think their home on the show looks so comfortable because it reflects both the yin and the yang.

Also, I'm sensitive to man bashing, and there is a lot of it in popular culture, but I've come across some very thoughtful blog posts on apartment therapy praising well laid out bachelor pads (one's that Homer would love, even if he couldn't design one himself).

Finally, as a Simpson's fan, this room is in character for Homer, who once ran a car company into the ground by designing a car which was nothing but a collection of exaggerated details from other cool cars guy's love. This room too is hyperbolic; in many ways Homer is Ubu Roi.