I seem to spend a lot of time packing. As a self professed typical Cancer I won't shut up about my need for home and comfort. Yet at 40, I am still not settled. Under the 8-year umbrella of my life in Los Angeles, I have moved five times. There were two more times while I was bicoastal and back east, I moved five more times in ten (-ish) years.
What I have learned about packing is that when cost, space, or weight is an issue (see: Moving Companies) you have to shed.
I covet things, another supposed Cancer trait. Yet my years of moving have forced me to whittle everything down to the precious few. The Books… my sweet books have been reduced to a handful of beloved beat-up, old paperbacks and any play I have ever read, with an occasional textbook thrown in (it’s good for me to be reminded what Jung said every once and a while). Also, every fancy, bulky picture book I’ve ever gotten has traveled with me. They are always the hugest box in the move. The box that should take two, but some moron (me) yanks his back lifting it up the fight of stairs by himself. No more.
The picture book pile is what I’ll be tackling for this move. For me, the Cancer…deciding to end my relationship with my big, pretty books is an emotional and self- discovering journey. I am a huge Art nut. But I have to be honest with myself. I know those picture books are not for me to reminisce over Impressionism and The World of the MET. They have traveled with me everywhere because those big books make me feel stylish and elegant and smart, and that is too vain a reason to continually lug them everywhere. I’m acknowledging my weakness, and saying goodbye.
Now, I know my limits and I can’t quite cold turkey. I will still pack a few, but only the smaller books and only from the twentieth century on. That I can handle. Safety nets and back-up plans: the life force of the Cancer.
© 2009 Apartment Therapy
You fool! You never put all your books together! You'll end up hobbling around like me with back pain. You put a couple big books in with your towels. You put a couple big books in with your bed linens. You put a couple big books in with your folded clothing items.
They still weigh the same on the moving scale, but at least you can lift the box.
I don't like moving. Moved around enough as a kid. And the thought of you moving is making me sad and I don't even know you.
I'm with you on the home and comfort thing. that's a dream that probably won't come true anytime soon. Stability. That's in there for me. Being in a rental has me on wit's end all the time. Their inspections and over the years, the quality of work varies. Now we're supposed to have some thing installed, which will make a lot of noise, a lot of dust, and require me to move a lot of stuff in my place. Then I'll get to clean under the bed where the feline kind hath taken residence in terror and probably made an oopsie.
Art books don't make me feel smart or stylish or elegant. I just like the pictures. I'll never see those things in person. I like the colors. I like the people or the scenery. Sometimes when I smell the air, or see the clouds, I think of a picture that I've seen, some famous painting, and I think "THIS is how the clouds looked on that day when that person so long ago painted that masterpiece" or "I wonder if the air smelled the same" (other than the paint fumes, of course).
If I like the art, I probably like all the colors in it, and maybe whatever is shown in it, and could design a room around it, giving me the same feeling as the picture, but in a 3-D way.
I've always wished they'd reproduce the masters in a "feel-me" form, because I just know some have texture in person and they won't let people rub their hands all over it. Maybe even with some kind of temperature transmitted on the texture. Like Starry Night would be warm around the stars, but the sky would be cold, and the cypress cool.
Now I'm going to be sad about moving and thinking of ways to create "scratch and sniff" old Masters.
Wow, good for you. I'm totally impressed. I've also considered getting rid of all my art and photography books (and totally get what you are saying about the narcissistic allure of keeping them); but haven't yet been able to cut the chord... Definitely hit the shops the specialize in books of those nature and see if they're willing to buy yours. Arcana: Books on the Arts at the Third Street Promenade always seems to pay a fair price, especially if you have out-of-print collector's titles.
Suggestion -
Great works of art are all over the www. Why not make a digital slide show on your computer of all your favorites? That won't weigh a thing - except for maybe a back-up CD!
By the way, if you crave comfort, home, being settled, why do you keep moving? What's the story there?
Some people think of "home" being an external thing from the past. Some people think of "home" as being a place they haven't found yet. A specific place, that somehow will leap at them to tell them "THIS IS THE PLACE" and maybe it does. For some.
I think home is internal. Make yourself at home. That's a saying. Although that doesn't mean to strip down to your skivvies and scratch man-parts on the sofa while hogging the remote to watch golf (who the hell watches golf anyway?).
You'll find me sprawled somewhere, because it looked like a fine place to lie down. "Make yourself at home" he says, looking over at me sprawled in the courtyard at college. He sprawled eventually too, but he wouldn't have sprawled on his own. Didn't feel at home.
If it's money you're seeking, like in various forms of employment, find a place you're comfortable and then find a job of some sort. I'd rather pick up trash in nature than be a well paid anything that involved commuting, traffic nightmares, parking nightmares, too many people, too much pollution, too fancy of a wardrobe, too many stresses and pressures.
I know I can depend on myself to do a job well. Well, that was before I was disabled, but still, I know that I'd care more about it than relegating it to someone else. I don't like being in precarious situations. A rental that could change lease terms or evict people or go condo or whatever. Employers that go bankrupt, get bought out, change locations, I've been through that again and again. One minute they love you and the next.. poof. Hey, ditto for relationships.
Alec, look deep inside yourself...deep DEEEEEEP...oops, almost hypnotized myself (sleep, SLEEEEEP)...and make yourself at home. Wherever you are.
***tinkling bells and waterfalls and gongs in background***
"Weedwhacker, snatch this Fruity Pebble from my hand..."
(bonus points for anyone recognizing the above alteration from an old show)