apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

I'm going to qualify my "live alone" answer with this: if I could get my old college roomies to move up here, I'd live with them again in a heart beat. We worked well together and it was nice to have the company.

I'm 27 and live with two awesome roommates (both older than me). I save about $150-200 a month compared to friends who live alone, and I get to indulge my natural human tendency towards being a social animal. As an introvert, I wasn't sure how it would work (esp since I was moving in with Craigslist strangers), but it's been absolutely lovely.

None of the above really apply to me. I lived with roommates until I was 30 and bought my own place. I rented rooms to save money and all my roommate situations were disasters in one way or another. One even turned out to be a clinical schizophrenic and I moved out after 5 weeks.

For me it was never a matter of not wanting a roommate so much as I really wanted to own my own place. It wasn't social at all. It was purely financial.

To live alone in LA, all I could afford was a cockroach-ridden but relatively spacious studio in a very busy & loud part of Koreatown. Sometimes there was no hot water and the elevator would break all the time.
Now I have a very considerate roommate found through craigslist, and share a huge, sun-drenched upper level duplex in a great spot in Franklin Hills/Los Feliz with views of treetops and Marshall High, plenty of hot water, no roaches. Plus Trader Joe's (and numerous restaurants and shops) in walking distance. All for $25 less a month. For me, it was a clear upgrade.
It all depends on what's most important to you... roommates can make you insane, but so can loud, dirty neighbors...

I think that if your finances can handle it (and I mean really handle it), then you should seriously consider living alone. It's good for you to learn to live with and support yourself.

All I can afford in West LA is a small studio but I'd take that any day over living with crazy roommates again.

Wait, people would want to live alone? In their early 20s?

Aside from always having someone to come home and dish to, splitting the rent (with one roommate) puts us in a cushy a two-bedroom, two-bathroom loft downtown for hundreds less than the alternative.

But still, I just came from living in a swanky 5-bedroom house with 4 others (all male, I was the only female), and we made it work. No major problems (other than the unresponsive landlord).

I guess it's about having friends that you trust.

Also, on another note, if you're 19 and still living in your parents basement, it's weird. Twenty-three is just creepy. And not a chance would I ever date someone who was 23 and still living at home. (If I were 23, that is.)

When I first moved into SF, I had to start living with a flatmate in order to make my bills each month. I got a large, fabulous room of my own in a great area of town that was safe for me to get around at night. After seven months, I was able to upgrade to a studio apartment of my own in the same neighborhood.

For a woman starting out, it's also a lot safer in many big cities to be in a good building in a good area of town with a nice flatmate or two than be in a not-as-nice area of town, and living alone in a studio.

I vote fabulous place in great neighborhood with flatmates than not-as-fabulous place or area but living alone any day. Also, some flatmates in SF have lived for years and years together and saved tens of thousands of dollars for it.

Depends on the situation at your parents. If their house is big enough where you are not constantly in each others business AND they are located in the area you want to be in, by all means stay at home! I will admit... I stayed at home until I was 25 (had the basement to myself), even though we did not get along at all. But you know what? Even making peanut wages, I saved enough money to make a 20% downpayment on a newly built single house within a year. I would never have been able to pull that off if I had spent all that time spending my money on rent.

My advice is: never live with someone whom you're already friends with. Every story I've heard of friends moving in together has had an unhappy ending (in varying degrees).

I LOVED living with roommates in my 20s. Just make sure you get one that won't steal your boyfriend. (As well as a boyfriend who won't run off with your roommate ...)

The other side of the coin:

I think that if your mental health can handle it (and I mean really handle it), then you should seriously consider sharing with a roommate.

I always chose the live alone option. For years and years I was strapped for cash. I missed the window of opportunity to go back for an advanced degree because I did not have funds to do much of anything other than pay rent in NYC.

Without the advanced degree, my earnings potential has been been seriously diminished thereby keeping me in the rut of renting a hovel with no hope of homeownership or even a respectable rented space.

My 40something advice: 1)live at home for a few years if you have the option, 2)barring that, get a roommate 3) use the extra funds you have to get an advanced degree and raise your future earnings potential so you do not have to stay stuck.

Bravo to you hejira, you did the smart thing!

I'm in my early 20s and living alone has given me a sense of independence and freedom that has made me a happier person. Before,I saved tons of money by living with roommates, but honestly I'm so much happier and relaxed now, the higher rent (and better location) is justified.

When living with roommates I always felt like I had little privacy, and someone was always angry at some other person, or bugging me when I wanted to be alone. It just didn't work too well for me given my introverted personality and hatred of confrontation and passive-aggressiveness.

Now, when I come home I have a feeling that it's 100% mine and 100% free of bitchiness and conflict. When I feel lonely/stir-crazy, I go out.

if i were still 23, i think i'd want the camaraderie of roommates. i had them from 10-30 (boarding school!) and then again from 33-35 when i first moved to NYC. finally bought my own place a year and a half ago and love living alone again!

that said, i've lived with good friends and with strangers at different points and only ever had one serious incompatibility issue. in my teens, i liked the security of friends, in my 20s the anonymity of strangers, and in my brief stint in the 30s, i split the difference and had one of each... still friends with the stranger!

it's about where you're at and what you need!

And don't knock the living at home thing... my sister paid her way through college while living at home, then bought her own 3BR townhouse when she was 26. Six years later she still loves it and, even in this sinking market, has doubled her worth :) oh, and she had a boyfriend while she was living at home!

I had roommates all through my twentie's. I'm now twenty-nine and just bought my first place, so I'm living alone for the first time, and I have to say, it just seems so...well...wasteful. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the extra space and independence, but it just seems more efficient to split costs like heating, cable, etc., with someone else. And I kind of miss having someone to come home and gossip with. Anyway, I think the whole emphasis on living alone or moving out of your parent's home as a necessary step to becoming an adult is a very American thing. In lots of places, people live in extended families all their lives, and it's not seen as "creepy" or "weird."

ideally living alone or with a partner is what most people want, isn't it? unfortunately in the bay area on blue collar wages, that's just not possible for me. luckily my roomies are two of my best friends and it works out really well for us. every day when I come home from work it's like a party at my house. my roomies usually have the grill fired up and dinner almost ready, a beer is handed to me and our favorite music is playing or a good movie is cued up. we all communicate really well together and there have never been any problems. (I'm 25 btw)

I always thought that as soon as I could afford to, I would get my own place, because I am by nature an extremely independent person. However, at this point, I can afford not only to rent my own apartment, but to buy a house, and I am instead living with 5 other people, and am part of a larger co-housing community. I really like my housemates, but even when I didn't like all my housemates, it was still a valuable experience. I think that our culture's over-emphasis on individualism does us harm. Learning how to get along with people is one of the most important things we can do in life, and I think that if everyone could try to put this into practice, it would go a long way towards solving many of the problems in our society.

When you live with other people, you get to see their good and bad sides, and they get to see yours. Living with all these people has taught me to be less selfish, less obsessed with my possessions, and less anal retentive. It has taught me to become more forgiving, more understanding, more humble, more generous, and a better communicator. It has taught me not to be afraid to ask people for a hand when I need it, rather than insisting on doing everything myself. It is also a more sustainable way of living, since sharing a space with others generally means using less resources.

I vote roommates when you're in your early/mid-twenties. you really will learn a lot of "life lessons" no matter what your roommate situation (love them or hate them). in Los Angeles I would guess that having a roommate is a must when you first move out. then when you live alone you will REALLY appreciate what you've got.

It really depends on the situation alot. How much of a crimp in her budget does it make verses who exactly is she going to be living with (good friends or complete strangers)?

I lived at home all through college and a good year and a half after it too. Had the same boyfriend the whole time. I missed the parties but with work and studying I barely had time to see the boyfriend as it was. I focused better and graduated debt free and we immediately started saving for a place. Though we choose to rent a year first in order to see if a we'd like downtown as much as we thought we would (moved from the burbs) and see if our relationship could really last, we ended up buying a nice little place that we are turning into a home.

I imagine going from roomates to alone is like moving out of your parents house for the first time. Even though you have all sort of new obstacles and less security you don't regret it. I mean, that is if you can afford it.

IME, live with roommates. I thought living alone would be fantastic, so I moved into a beautiful studio in Fairfax area, close enough to walk to the movies, tjs, etc. It was great for awhile. Especially for my dating life. But after 4 months it got really lonely. I stayed for 2 yrs because it was such a great apartment, but overall, not the best for my day-to-day state of mind. And living alone does not equal peace and quiet, my neighbors were crazy.

If you do choose to live alone, live in an area where it's easier for your friends to find parking. I had people over all the time when I lived in Koreatown.

If you want the privacy aspect of living alone, but prefer roommates (like me) try for a place where the bedrooms are at opposite ends. It's been working like a dream.

Agree about the frequent wastefulness of living alone, which seems tied in to the American focus on individualism. We don't all need our own stove, our own fridge, our own shower, our own living room, our own television, our own front door. It's more expensive and harder on the environment. People can do the living alone thing conscientiously and cheaply, I'm sure, but it doesn't lend itself to a gentler existence.

As far as mental health and living alone, I wanted to live with people for that reason. Coming home to people who can make you laugh on a death anniversary is a definite plus.

I moved out on my own at 18, right after high school, while working at P.F. Chang's living in an overpriced roach motel. It was MY roach motel, though, and I loved it (except for the roaches).

At 19 I ended up moving back into my mother's 2 months early because the roaches inevitably got so bad they were falling from the ceiling after the lights went off, broke up with my boyfriend, quit my job at P.F. Chang's (freedom!) and went from full-time to part-time at school.

After finishing the semester, I turned 20, got a new job, got a new (and current) boyfriend, and moved out with him, finishing his older sister's lease because her husband got a scholarship to LSU.

At 21, we found a much better, nicer and cheaper apartment in a better location and are still there.

By the time I am 23 I will be moved BACK into my mother's house for many reasons, but mostly so I can work, save money and finish my degree without all the overhead. I think it's the smartest idea I've had yet and often wish I had not moved out so soon after high school - I could have saved so much money! After I graduate (in around 1 1/2 years) I will have saved enough money to put a down payment on a house! (P.S. I finally found a way to get my school paid for - settlement from my wreck!)

You know, for people in France (and I would assume for most of Europe, as well) it is odd that we move out of our parents' so soon. I wouldn't scoff at people staying there because, as much as I love living on my own (another reason I'm moving out of my boyfriend's apartment - we'll have the rest of our lives to live in close quarters), I hate not having the money, time, or energy to finish my UNDERGRAD. So what if I live at my mother's until I'm 24 or almost 25 - that will just alleviate having to go into debt in the future.

All that said, I lived with a "roommate," if you can call her that, when I lived in France. While I loved living with her, I like to have my own s p a c e. It allows me to be creative and express myself without worrying about what anyone else says. And I love my bf, but I absolutely love only having my own mess to worry about. In any case, I don't get along with anyone long enough to live with them - I have few good friends that I can tolerate for any length of time, and I like that all I am required to do with other people is appreciate them, but only for a limited amount of time.

i'd rather live alone, and i'd live in crappier digs in order to do so any day (and i do). i will be looking for a roommate soon in order to amp up the savings and i pretty much dread it. living with a roommate confines your privacy and your mental space to the 10 x 10 room you sleep in. trying to wedge into my bedroom everything i own that i don't want a roommate (or their friends) to break results in a claustrophobia that i could not wait to be done with. eight years of that was enough. i want to be able to walk down the hall to the bathroom in my skivvies without worrying about running into someone else and/or their overnight guest who i don't know at all. i like not having to deal with other people's hair in my sink. i love coming home to my place and knowing it's mine and that i can do anything i want in peace. it's my haven, my nest. i don't even want my boyfriend to move in! :)

A lot of great, thoughtful opinions and personal experiences here. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer (like most of the opinions shared on this site), I think it all comes down to what is going to work for you. I like the companionship of having a roommate, and after a year of living together, we have managed to work through our differences without drama.

I'm 23 and I live with my parents. Not in the basement mind you, but in my old bedroom. With outrageous student loan payments, it's just economical! No rent, just help out with the household bills. I don't think it's weird at all yet. My brother didn't move out until he got married at 27. My cousin who lives in Queens didn't move out until he was 33 and now he's bought his own condo! I'm saving money baby, damn the stigma!

When I was in the Bay Area I shared a house with two other people and saved at least $600 a month I would have spent on my own apartment.

I was very lucky though.... and had great, considerate, tidy housemates and we all got along fine. We weren't compelled to spend every waking hour together but our friends all got along and we'd throw parties as a group once in a while.

If finances aren't an issue, it's nice to have your own place, but sharing isn't bad if you have the right mix of people. (And I found my situation on Yahoo ads.)

I voted "roommate" because that's what I did. Actually, I moved into my own apartment after college. I thought I could afford it, but I forgot about all those things like student loan payments and taxes...So, I moved in with roommates that I found in the Citypaper and basically paid less than half of what I had been paying. The first year was horrible. I was quite a notch higher on the clean scale and felt my roommates were disrespectful (on the other hand, I'm sure they thought I was uptight). However, I did manage to pay off my credit cards and save some money. Then, the second year, I loved my roommates and it definitely was nice to have people around on occasion to hang out with and just to see. I lived alone in a studio in a dorm in graduate school which was not exactly alone as I had students living all around me, but having my own space was important. After grad school, I considered living with roommates again, but nothing seemed right and I wasn't into having a bad living experience at 26...now, I definitely wouldn't want to live with strangers unless I really HAD to. I do wish there was someone there on occasion, but I do like my solitude, too.

On the living at home thing...I don't think I could handle it, but my brother does (it does compromise his sanity a bit). My friend moved back home after college then left to live with roommates and then moved back. It works for her while she paid off debt, helped her mom out financially, and saves for her own place. I do think it can become a vacuum, though--so be forewarned!

My advice to all my childless friends is: Do it now. Travel through Spain and Portugal? Take that incredibly exciting, passionate all-the-time-overtime job? Learn to play the guitar? Write a novel? Whatever it is, if you want to do it, do it now, cuz you never know when you might find yourself knocked up. (This applies to men as well as women, but obviously only to those who have sex with people of the other gender. However, I think the advice can easily be analogized for everyone.)

So as much as I have loved most of my many roommates, if you want to live alone, do it now. You may not have such options in the future.

Parenting brings many joys. Silence, solitude, and control over your environment are not among them.

I found a cheap enough place to live alone. I've had four great roommates in college and after, but all it took was one awful roommate (thank you, Craigslist) and then a few more duds to completely change my mind. We students move around so much over here that it just makes it easier not to deal with finding new people every year.

I had roomates in college and that was enough. Never again! I'm very introverted and I spent my entire childhood/adolescene hiding in my room to get away from my nosy, noisy family. And even then they'd constantly barge in arrrgh. I'm apparently artsy and weird and I jealously guard my alone time because it's when I can be myself. I rarely get lonely and if I do, that's what going out is for! I'm going to be 23 next week and living by myself (for a year now) has been one of the best things to happen to me- I feel more confident, responsible, and of course I am currently going nuts with decorating everything however I want :D

On the other hand I got SUPER lucky in terms of apartment, my studio is the perfect size for me and the rent is CHEAP (cheaper even than splitting rent w/ roomates in most cases when I've looked) so I still have enough extra money to pay down my student loan debt quickly and save up to go back to school in a few years. I may be in a slightly rough area but there are several factors that make it livable (building is on a main business street, close to lots of buses and commuter train, wonderful neighbors, regular police patrols and an an office in my building that is open 24hrs)- definitely things to think about no matter where you live if you're female and on your own.

I am a very social person but I can only stay sane if I have real alone time each day. Living with roommates was great during college - i wouldn't have had it any other way, but a year out I can't wait to live alone during grad school. My program of study has work spread between 9am and 2am every day but Sunday. With a schedule like that, I don't see living with a roommate having a prayer of working. I would be nervous about being alone, but since my program is so intense, and very social, I know I'll have a community. If I was moving to a new place where I didn't have that, I would want a roommate. BTW I'm 23.

i find it incredibly disheartening to see comments like gretchen's. after losing my job, i moved back home with my parents. i'm 24. i "moved out" to go to college, but have basically lived at home my whole life, and it bothers me to hear that i would be discriminated against and called "creepy" just because i can't afford to live in an apartment, on my own or with roommates. yes, my sanity has been completely compromised (and my parents have also hit financial hard times and are selling this house in preparation to move in with my grandmother), but unemployment doesn't pay enough to pay for my health insurance, let alone adding a rent on top of that.

i had awful experiences with college roommates, but understand the financial strain of living alone, so i'm inclined to answer this question with "live with roommates."