Living together can be tough at times and housework can often become a source of conflict. As you may know, I'm big on etiquette and recently while reading up on etiquette for couples, it gave me some ideas for what couples can do around the house to say how much they care (which often maintains the peace). Ideas after the cut:
These are suggestions essentially for doing something nice, giving a little more and not asking for a lot of credit in return. All for the sake of making the other person feel good. You could use these for Valentines Day or really any day (which, I think makes it more special). I'm also not going to sit here and say whether or not flowers and chocolates should be involved, but why not try some of these options:
• Take care of that nagging repair/project that you've either been nagging your other to do or that you've been nagged to do (but do it before another nag). And don't complain. This could be changing a lightbulb, picking up the tools you'll need to complete a repair, patching that hole in the wall or fixing the leaky faucet. And make it a surprise.
• Take over one of the other person's chores for the day or the week). So if he always takes out the trash or she always washes the dishes, do your chores and theirs without asking for credit.
• Clean the bathroom (does anyone like to do this?) or wash and change the sheets.
• Say thank you for what they have done around the house.
• What do you do?
You can read way in depth on the subject in Peter Post's Essential Manners for Couples.
Copyright © 2008 Apartment Therapy
Nothing says 'I love you' more then cleaning the toilet.
view heathermg's profile
I would marry the guy who cleans out the bathtub drain . . .
view judie's profile
Waking up early and surprising them with a huge breakfast is always a classic. If you arent lucky enough to have an in home washer and dryer doing all of the laundry, folding it, and putting it away so when they come home the closet is stacked. Hell you can even hang a cedar block or other closet freshener for good measure!
view alishajune's profile
I just hope for the day my husband stops "keeping score" about chores. For some reason he is obsessed with how many times he does things (like grocery shopping, cooking dinner, laundry) vs. when I do them. Sigh. It is incredibly annoying because I do a lot of stuff he doesn't even think about -- I just don't bring it up all the time.
view Nikita's profile
I'm lucky in that we have a good natural balance. He loves to grocery shop & cook (I hate both), I find mopping & scrubbing strangely meditative and we are both relaxed but not slobs about the laundry. As long as there is a dishwasher in the apartment there is peace.
For a special gesture I'll organize his closet & dresser and not complain when it's completely wrecked a week later.
view Slim's profile
If I keep my husband fed and in clean clothes, he's a happy guy - we're both pretty low maintenance, I guess.
view greer's profile
When my old boyfriend & I were young & had no $$, he taught the dog to roll over for Valentine's Day - he had worked on it with her for weeks whenever I wasn't home. I think it was the best present I've ever gotten, and completely free. I still get teary when I think about it. Sigh...
view rockalita's profile
I married the guy who cleans the shower drain - love him!
And I agree w/pp: having a dishwasher = peace. But I'm happiest when he mops the floors!
view buzzybee's profile
My husband and I split cleaning chores but I do all of the daily stuff.... cooking, dishes, straightening, etc.
However, my husband is a teacher so when he's on summer break, I do very little at home. He does it all! Even the drain!
view Swan's profile
I think what works well for us is mostly we are really both anal about different things.
He has hardly done a dish because I just don't trust him to get them as clean as I do. I need the laundry done, hung, folded and stored a certain way. He can't stand things not being put in their place, mail not sorted straight away, making the bed daily, whereas with me most those things would be weekend tasks.
I think what I appreciate most is, he seldom relaxes when he is aware I am doing something for us/the house. While I cook, he sorts the mail, tidies up the house, ect. While I do the dishes, he'll sweep and take out the trash. We save heavier stuff for the weekend, but again work together. Most days we enjoy a good meal, a clean house, and eachother.
view Gravity's Rainbow's profile
Thanks everyone for sharing--keep em coming! What means the most to you, what chores are cool with doing and what would you rather die than do?
view laure's profile
Ditto Gravity's Rainbow. We are the same way. There are certain things only I do, ie laundry, and certain things only he does, ie vaccum. But we pretty much work together on a lot of things and I do appreciate him always wanting to help. I'm a bit OCD and even though that makes life a bit difficult at times, my husband totally understands me. My husband works from home when he's not traveling, so when he's home I try to make breakfast and bring it to his office. He LOVES it and thinks I'm spoiling him rotten. It's really not much and makes me very happy that I can make him so happy and feel loved.
view drinknbake's profile