apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

I whole-heartedly agree. Items we have inherited are all the more beautiful because of the history they hold. When faced with a large amount of furniture that's up for grabs, I think you should choose something that is especially memorable to you or holds a story from your loved one. And don't feel badly about repainting or reupholstering to make it more your style. Your family member would rather you engrained it into your life than passed it by:-)

http://www.MyDesignSecrets.com

Lovely post, but I disagree with MyDesignSecrets about painting inherited furniture. If someone really loved their antiques, they'd probably rather see them go to a stranger who will appreciate them for what they are, rather than a relative who will "modernize" them.

I have to disagree w/ Lisa - Giving a relative furniture, then putting stipulations and conditions on it such as "Don't Change It" or "Use it only this way" is unfair and can be a burden.

Back in the early 80's when I was a teen, my Grandmother gave me the cedar chest that she had received on her first wedding anniversary from my late Grandfather. My parents helped me get it professionally refinished and since I had no space for it in my bedroom, we decided to put it in the Family Room and used it to store throws and blankets and as a coffee table. It looked beautiful and we all enjoyed using it every day as a centerpiece in our home.

When she came to visit for my graduation, she was dismayed to see that we weren't using it in a bedroom, that we were placing drinks on it, and she didn't care for the glossy finish. She demanded that it be returned to her so that she could give it to some other member of the family "Who would appreciate it more".

Ugh. I inherited more antiques than I knew what to do with. Two grandmothers and a great-aunt later, I had enough to furnish five homes. I hung on to most of it for a long time and incorporated it into my home (and a storage unit) because I, too, felt grateful to be the beneficiary of quality furnishings I didn't think I'd ever be able to afford to buy.

I learned a couple if things along the way.

1. Turns out Grandma G's furnishings were purchased 2nd hand from a cousin (by marriage) and Grandma resented having to keep those pieces all her life. She'd grown up in a wealth family, and when she married a US citizen and emigrated to the US after her parents had died, she had to leave family furnishings behind. I realized that she wouldn't care if it these peices were used as firewood, let alone used to furnish a grand-daughter's home.

2. Grandma A's mid-century furnishings were her third husband's taste, not hers. She liked ornate French antiques. And those she finally bought and passed to me were picked up, slightly damaged, from a local antiques dealer. There was no sentimental value whatsoever. She would have preferred that I sell her things and fund the purchase of something I loved.

"Because a thing had been in my family for a decade" or four or eight, or "because it was an antique", or "because it was made incredible well" -- are not necessarily good reasons to keep something in your life and in your home.

*IF* you love it and its story makes you happy, then great! But don't keep things in your life just because you received said things from somone you love if they force you into an aesthetic that you don't share with said person. (the same applies to that ugly christmas sweater with sewn on bells and sequins).

I did keep a few choice pieces and reupholstered and/or refinished them. The rest were sold to dealers and on Craigslist. Goodbye ornate french bed, hello Room & Board pedestal dining table!

I haven't really "inherited" anything. I got to choose things I loved, that didn't need to be changed. Occasionally, my grandmother who is still alive will ask if I want something she doesn't use anymore. She likes when I can use something and knows I appreciate old well-made things. If I don't really like something, she'll offer it to someone else in the family, and I'm sure if I really wanted something, I could outright ask her if I can have it right now - haven't really done that. I also haven't seen her apartment lately, so there's a good chance some of the things I liked are gone. I have things from my parents' home when I was young, and both sets of grandparents, but nothing* I didn't choose.

*A few items I don't count are in the category of "until you can afford something nice," not really such an heirloom or expected to remain in good condition, or something I would have chosen.

I love this room, and the old furniture in it--it's great! As far as I'm concerned, when someone gives you something, it's yours to do with what you wish. If they make stipulations beforehand, if you don't agree with them, don't accept!

i know we've seen this room before... not sure where, but I love the zebra rug. Where is it, or something similar, from?

Yeek, heirlooms can be touchy. I've seen my mom wrangle with her sister and it's not pretty.

I guess I should count myself fortunate to not have a huge amount to inherit (LOL). My grandmother has, however, apparently written me in into her will for a print her mom owned, that she thinks seems more my style than anyone else's in the family. I count myself fortunate that she thinks of things like that.

Margie and Brittany--It's my old living room in my last apartment! I used a version of this picture for a post about a year ago and also showed more of my apartment in my house tour (right here).